


I See Fire

by obeytherandomness



Series: I See Fire [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, An Unexpected Journey, M/M, Past Lives, Past Relationship(s), Rebirth, Reborn - Freeform, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 104,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5491697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obeytherandomness/pseuds/obeytherandomness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo knew when he was young that the song he liked to sing meant something important, but it wasn't until 13 dwarves came crashing into his little hobbit hole that he actually remembered why it was so important. He remembers everything else on the journey to his long lost home. Thilbo</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything from the book or the movie.
> 
> I just wanted to tell you guys two things before I start with the story:
> 
> 1\. This was originally meant to be a oneshot, but by the end of this chapter I knew there was no way that was going to happen so I made it into a chapter story. The reason that I point this out is because the first part of this chapter won't really tie into the story until later, but I promise that it eventually will.
> 
> 2\. I'm going to pretty much stick to the movie for most of the story, though I will eventually move away from it, and because I don't want to describe everything that you can see when watching the movie I pretty much skim over a lot of those. I will, however, go into more detail when I add scenes or change scenes.
> 
> Thank you for reading. I hope you guys enjoy this.

It was a prayer, Bilbo decided when he was finally old enough to understand the song that had been playing through his head since as long as he could remember. His mother once told him that he was singing that song before he could even speak and he didn't doubt her. Even when he was young, that song had been as much a part of him as his heart and his soul were. He could often be found wandering everywhere singing or humming that song and it was just another thing that made him so very different from the other little hobbits. They all liked to sing happy songs, but Bilbo's song was a story about destruction, pain, and loss wound together with that prayer.

Even before Bilbo knew what the exact meaning of that song was he sang it often, but when he finally understood it he made a point to sing it at least once a day and tried to sing it more often than that. He didn't know who he was praying for, but he felt that they needed it very much.

Bilbo never told his parents, though, about his realization. He was still a very young hobbit and it somewhat concerned his mother that he would even take the time to sing such a sad song when the others his age sang happy songs. He didn't want to concern her even more by telling her about something as serious as that. Besides, he could feel, even at his young age, that the meaning of the song was a secret.

As he continued to grow older, Bilbo continued to understand more and more about his song. He knew that it was about something that had happened some time ago, but recent enough that it wouldn't be in any of the few books of the outside world that had somehow made their way into the shire. He also knew that he had created this song. At first he didn't quite understand how he managed to do that when he was only just a baby, but then he started seeing the destruction in his dreams and he knew that they were memories from a past life. The song was the last thing that he had done with his life before he died and was reborn as Bilbo Baggins of Bag End.

The one thing that Bilbo still couldn't figure out, though, was whom the song was talking about. What race. No matter how hard Bilbo tried to remember, he couldn't recall which of the many big folk out in the world beyond the shire was the one that his previous life had once been. Not even in his memories did he ever get a clear picture of what his previous race had been.

At his young age, though, he was determined to find out.

Bilbo spent many of his younger years exploring the forests looking for elves and dwarves and any other such creature that he thought he might have been. He knew that he wasn't man. He had seen men from Bree as they passed by the shire and they just felt wrong.

Then, tragedy happened and Bilbo found himself at his coming of age without his mother or his father. He had Bag End all to himself and he couldn't feel more alone if he tried. Death was just determined to haunt him and leave him alone with his song to keep praying for others. He stopped going out hunting for creatures and, instead, stayed inside his home for many long hours singing his song for no one's ears.

Bilbo became a very respectable Hobbit when this happened. Most of the other Hobbits spent many hours in doors, especially if they were as rich as he was, so they thought that he was turning into something respectable like his father. Bilbo knew, however, that it wasn't some newfound respectableness that had him retreating to his house to be alone whenever it wasn't absolutely necessary that he be in someone's company. He even tried to avoid the Green Dragon except on the very rare occasion that he needed something stronger than he liked to keep in his house to quell the painful memories that only continued to get stronger as he aged.

Bilbo had become such a recluse that when, finally, a big folk who wasn't a man came to visit him, he drew into himself and acted like the respectable, though somewhat less then hospitable, hobbit the others thought him to be. Gandalf the Grey was a wizard and for a short moment Bilbo wondered if he was once a wizard, but that just sounded wrong so he threw that idea away almost immediately. Then Gandalf had to go and ask him on a journey and he wanted to say yes, he wanted more than anything to leap at the chance and find the people that he had been looking for when he was young, but fear also overtook him; he had such bad luck with death, what was there to say that he would even survive long enough to find his people.

Gandalf would have none of that, though he thought that the reason for Bilbo's denial was because he had started to become what the others were saying he was.

The next night there was a knock on the door that shocked Bilbo. No one, other than his gardener who wouldn't come this late at night, ever tried to bother him because deep down they knew that he was still somewhat strange. He opened the door and found not a hobbit, but a dwarf covered in tattoos. He was gruff and pushed his way into Bilbo's house while introducing himself as Dwalin. Bilbo found himself allowing it despite himself.

And then another named Balin, who was apparently Dwalin's brother if their greeting meant anything, came.

And then two more by the names of Fili and Kili came. They were obviously brothers by the way they acted, but Bilbo knew this for a deeper reason that he couldn't quite explain.

Then Dori, Nori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Gloin, and Oin came tumbling in when he opened his door to the next tap and behind them Gandalf stood laughing at the dwarves' clumsiness.

All of these dwarves, and one wizard, Bilbo let into his house. He did complain somewhat, his recluse ways were still clinging to him and he was very unwilling to give that up at this moment, but still he found the liveliness of the company in his house made him happier than he had been in several years. Even when he was running after them as they threw his dishes around, he found that he was having more fun than his feelings of fear could quench.

One more knock came at the door and Bilbo went to answer it, hoping that he wouldn't have to quell off one or two of his neighbors after the rowdiness that was happening in his house, but Gandalf was already opening the door and introducing Bilbo to Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of their company.

As soon as Bilbo laid eyes on the newest dwarf to enter his little hobbit hole, he felt more at home than he had felt since the death of his parents. It just felt right.

Almost immediately after Thorin arrived, and after he had insulted Bilbo's nonexistent skills at burglary, the company sat and their conversations turned serious. Bilbo hovered just in the archway behind Thorin. He wasn't even sure he should be there to hear about the lives of the dwarves as he wasn't one of them, but he knew that walking away would feel even more wrong to him. Even if he didn't feel like he belonged with these people, he was still a gracious hobbit who would not leave his company to themselves unless they asked it of him just to make sure that they didn't need anything. And, if he wasn't a gracious hobbit, he was still partly a curious Took whom he knew would be waiting just in the other room and listening in on the whole conversation.

The meeting was about reclaiming mountains and slaying dragons and Thorin soon had most of the other dwarves cheering in their readiness to take on the beast. Bilbo wanted to cheer too and he felt his heart plummet along with the rest when Balin spoke up. "You forget," he spoke over all the other calls. "The gate is sealed."

All hope seemed lost, but then Gandalf produced a map and a key. Bilbo didn't recognize either item, though he would be able to tell you what was shown on the map after his investigations of so many other maps, and neither did Thorin so Gandalf had to explain about the hidden passage that had been kept secret from the dwarves for many years.

After that, the conversation turned elsewhere and onto burglary it landed. Bilbo became the center of attention when he said something about it was the dreadfully misheard by Oin who was practically deaf and then there were more insults to his nonexistent buglarying skills. Bilbo found himself continually agreeing with the insults, though it made him upset that none of the dwarves trusted him. In neither of the lives that Bilbo lived had he ever been a burglar. Sure he might've stolen a few pastries while his mother wasn't looking when he was young, but all children did that.

Gandalf was the only one to stand up for him, though it was quite against Bilbo's will, and he soon convinced Thorin to at least give Bilbo the chance. Thorin commanded that Balin give Bilbo a contract, which he assumed that all the other dwarves had already signed before they had left their own homes in the Blue mountains; Bilbo wasn't sure how he knew that they lived in the Blue Mountains, but he didn't question it just like so many of the other things that he knew he shouldn't know but did.

Bilbo read that contract in a mumble, adding in his own comments as he read the document, until he came to the part where the contract stated that the dwarves "shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof…" This he read rather quickly as many did when they were skimming over contracts, but he slowed down as he read on. "Including, but not limited to, lacerations, evisceration, incineration…" Bilbo found himself reading with more skepticism.

"Oh aye," Bofur cut in. "He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye."

Suddenly the room grew hot and Bilbo felt as though he could feel the very fires of Smaug at his back. He wanted, no needed, to run away from the burning flames, but his feet wouldn't move to accommodate him. He was firmly planted in his spot even as he swayed back and forth on his feet.

"You all right laddie?" asked Balin.

"Yea. I feel-" Bilbo tried to get out, but then he felt like he was sucking in the smoke of the fires and he could no longer catch his breath. He crouched lower in an attempt to duck underneath the smoke and breathed in a way his father had taught him when he was young in order to calm him down after his memories sent him nightmares. "I feel a bit faint," he tried again.

"Think furnace with wings," Bofur stood and it looked like he was trying to help, but he was failing utterly at it.

Bilbo knew exactly what the dragon was like. He had seen the creature first hand and had only barely escaped in time. That was why he had written his song. "Air. I-I-I need air."

"Flash of light. Searing pain. Then Poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash."

But it was so much more than that. Bilbo had been burnt by the flames of the fire in his previous life. He knew exactly what it felt like to be scalded by the giant beast and, worst, he knew exactly what it felt like to survive and then to go through the excruciating time of recovery.

Bilbo tried to pull himself together, he stood as tall as he could force himself, but it wasn't enough. "Nope," was the last word that escaped his mouth before he fell into unconsciousness.


	2. The Misty Mountains Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the lyrics of the song from both the movie and the book.

While the dwarves helped Gandalf move the little Hobbit to the sitting room, flashes of Smaug’s destruction passed through his mind and he could feel the pain of losing all those people. He woke as soon as his body would allow him and he had to fight back tears that tried to escape him.

He didn’t want to go and face the dragon. He might have been a mighty dwarf in his past life, but now he was nothing more than a small Hobbit. He didn’t have the strength nor the courage to go on adventures and face off against mighty beasts. If he did, he would have done so many years ago.

Gandalf did not agree, however. “You’ve been sitting here long enough.”

Still, Bilbo denied him and he retreated to his room so that Gandalf could no longer try to convince him to go. He heard Balin say something about them losing their burglar, but he didn’t really care. He wasn’t the right Hobbit for this job despite what Gandalf said.

Bilbo sat on his bed and he could feel the beginnings of regret creep into his soul. It still wasn’t enough to encourage him to go into the sitting room and take back his previous denial. Instead, it convinced him to stay in his room so that he wouldn’t change his mind when he was faced with the dwarves once more. He fell asleep to the sound of singing coming from the other room.

 

_Far over the misty mountains cold_

_To dungeons deep and caverns old_

_We must away ere break of day_

_To find our long forgotten gold_

From Bilbo’s memory, instruments joined into the music in his head and Bilbo found himself humming along to it even as his eyes closed in sleep.

 

_The pines were roaring on the height_

_The winds were moaning in the night_

_The fire was red, it flaming spread_

_The trees like torches blazed with light_

Bilbo’s memories were much more vivid then they had ever been in his dreams that night.

\-------

_“Dragon!” There had been some commotion and Bilbo was deeper in the mountain so he couldn’t hear what was going on until finally the frantic cries reached him. At first he thought that it was nothing to worry about, maybe someone in the mountain had done something wrong and there was a commotion because of it, but when he finally heard what the voices were screaming he felt himself go cold with fear._

_At the time he had been playing with the young Fili, giving his mother a break from his exuberance. She and her husband had just found out that she was going to have another child and that made it a lot easier to become exhausted. He didn’t mind. He liked children and, of course, Fili was his favorite little nephew._

_The two of them were playing hide and seek and it was Fili’s turn to hide. Bilbo didn’t know where the child was. He had only just started looking. “Fili!” he called out even as some dwarves rushed past him. “Fili!” He could hear the young one crying, but with all the dwarves running around he couldn’t actually see him._

_“Uncle!” He finally caught a glimpse of Fili hiding under one of the tables and he forced his way through the frantic crowd to reach him. It wasn’t the best of hiding places, but Fili was still very young and Bilbo was glad for it._

_He snatched Fili up into his arms and ran to the gates. He had a ways to go and he could only hope that he would make it before it was too late._

_As he made his way over one of the many bridges, another voice pierced through the screams calling for Fili. The owner of the voice was coming towards him, but they were also below him so he leaned over the railing just enough to see someone trying to force their way against the crowd._

_“Dis!” he called out and the woman stopped to look up at him. He could see the look of relief that crossed over her face when she saw the little one clinging to him. “Run!” She did as she was told. She had her unborn child to take care of too._

_They wouldn’t be able to meet up, Bilbo knew. Both bridges lead to completely different paths to the gate and Dis was much closer to the gate then he was. He only hoped that he would be able to find her outside the mountain._

_He could see the gates, but no light escaped through them as the giant form of a dragon broke in. So many dwarves were crushed under Smaug’s feet, both knights and those that were trying to escape through the one door that lead outside the mountain, but Bilbo had no time to grieve them when he saw Smaug’s chest brighten with flames. “Take cover!” he screamed as he moved to stand behind a post. He made sure that there was no possible way for Fili to get hurt, but that allowed the flames to lick at his right side. His arm was irreversibly damaged and his face would hold the ugly scars for the rest of his life._

_Smaug moved on and Bilbo was able to escape through the gates._

_He was one of the last ones to do so before Smaug seal the gates forever._

_\-------_

_Days passed by with them on the road as they looked for a new place to call home and still Bilbo had yet to locate either Dis or Thorin. He was starting to worry that they hadn’t made it, but he reassured himself by reminding himself that he was at the back of the pack and they were probably far ahead of them. He just pushed himself a little harder to move forward in the pack to try to find them._

_Fili, though, was quickly getting restless. He wanted his mother. “What if mama didn’t make it Uncle?” Fili asked one night when everyone had stopped to set up camp. The party was moving slowly and they had to stop more often then many of them would have liked to be able to accommodate the women and the children. It was quickly wearing on what little resources they had been able to save and some of the strongest that didn’t have other duties to attend to were already starting to hunt in order to replenish their food._

_“We don’t know that she didn’t,” Bilbo smiled as best he could with his wounded face. “Now you must get some sleep.” Fili hadn’t been sleeping well during this trip. Bilbo didn’t blame him because, even though Fili was young, he had no doubt that the sight of dragon’s fire haunted his dreams. He could only hope that Fili was young enough that he would forget the nightmares in time._

_“I don’t want to,” Fili whined, but his eyes were drooping and exhaustion was taking hold of his body despite his desperate attempts to fight it. The only thing that Bilbo could think of to calm the other into sleep was a song, but there were no songs that really fit their present condition so he made one up._

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day

To seek the pale enchanted gold

 

The dwarves of yore made might spells

While hammers fell like ringing bells

In places deep, where dark things sleep

In hollow halls beneath the fells

 

_And he continued to sing even though Fili had already fallen asleep. It calmed him and he could see many of the other dwarves around him relaxing to the sound of the music as well._

_Every night from that moment on, Bilbo sang the song to little Fili in order to help him sleep. He didn’t know how much it meant to the other dwarves until weeks later._

_He still hadn’t found Dis, but he could no longer keep up the quick pace that he had been trying to use to move to the front of the pack. He had even taken to having Fili walk on his own for periods of time because the pain and exhaustion was just becoming too much for him to handle. Fili couldn’t walk fast and, even when Bilbo wasn’t carrying Fili, he found that he was slowing to the point that he was actually starting to move back in the pack._

_“Come Fili,” Bilbo said after Fili had been walking for some time. His one good arm ached from carrying the little one, but Fili looked like he would collapse if he walked any further. The night before he had had a very bad nightmare and had gotten very little sleep so that added on to the fact that they had been walking for such a long time. Despite this, Fili refused to climb into Bilbo’s arms to be carried. He was a very smart little Dwarf and he could see that Bilbo was just as exhausted as he was._

_“Excuse me,” one of the dwarf ladies said as she moved a little bit closer to him. “If you’d like, the little one can ride in the cart for a little while.” Very few carts had made it out of Erebor and they were being used to transfer what little remained of the supplies that had been saved. They had not allowed anyone to ride on the carts because it wouldn’t be fair to any of the other people if only one was allowed and the people pulling the carts were just as exhausted as everyone else. They were making an exception for Fili because Bilbo was so horribly injured, but he was grateful and he allowed Fili to climb onto the cart with the promise of only allowing him to stay their for a couple of hours while the two of them regained their strength._

_“You should get some rest, Fili.”_

_“Will you sing to me Uncle?” So Bilbo began to sing._

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day

To seek the pale enchanted gold

 

The dwarves of yore made mighty spells

While hammers fell like ringing bells

In places deep, where dark things sleep

In hollow halls beneath the fells

 

_The other dwarves began to join in then and Bilbo could hear the voices spread out from where he walked. Everyone continued to sing with him, not getting anything wrong as he sang until the very last verse._

Far over the misty mountains grim

To dungeons deep and caverns dim

We must away, ere break of day

To win our harps and gold from him!

 

_Bilbo smiled when the last notes died down from his lips. The song had spread throughout the whole of the company and Bilbo couldn’t see anyone who didn’t sing along except for the children who didn’t really care for such things._

_This song wasn’t the one that Bilbo would write after that moment as a prayer. This one was meant as a promise. They would return for their gold and the fact that everyone sang along meant that they had hope that they could keep the promise too._

_\--------_

Bilbo awoke to find himself in complete silence. A quick check of the house confirmed that he was completely alone in his own home. That should have made him happy, but it didn’t. It just made him feel lonely. Who knew that one night with a party of dwarves could change one’s life so drastically?

As Bilbo searched the house for any sign of the dwarves who had been there the night before, the only thing that he could find was the lack of food in his pantry. That is, until he went into his sitting room and found a very specific contract.

“I’m going on an adventure!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Bilbo's name wasn't Bilbo in his previous life, but I just wanted to make it easier for us to know which character is him.


	3. Battle of Moria

****

Money was flying up and down the line of ponies. Apparently they took bets on whether or not he would join them. By the looks of it, most said that he wouldn’t. He couldn’t say that he was particularly happy that they didn’t believe in him, but he certainly didn’t blame them. He had been rather adamant about not going only the day before.

He did see Fili and Kili both receive many of the bags of money, though, and it made him happy that they had faith in him. Actually, they seemed to be the ones who were getting most of the money. They were probably the ones who started the betting in the first place. Then Gandalf got his share of the money saying something about never doubting him for a moment.

The one person that Bilbo never saw either receive or throw money was Thorin and he had to wonder if the man thought he would come. He had signed the contract before he left, but that could have been just a precautionary measure and there was also the likelihood that Gandalf or someone else told him to do it. Bilbo just decided not to think about it at all.

Instead he was distracted when some of the shorter of his ponie’s hair blew into his face and made him sneeze. Really, he had never really liked horses or ponies or anything of the sort, he would much rather walk where he needed to be going thank you very much, and when he was young his mother thought that he might be allergic to them because he kept sneezing around them. He only hoped that wasn’t true since it seemed like they were going to be travelling on these ponies for quite a ways.

Bilbo reached into his pocket to take out his handkerchief, but he came up empty handed. “Stop!” Everyone gave him a look of annoyance and amusement when he said that he had to go back to get it, Bofur was kind enough to offer a rag from his shirt while Gandalf scolded him for desiring something that he should really do without on an adventure like this, but none of them understood. That handkerchief was more than just something that a common respectable hobbit would carry around. It once belonged to his mother and she had given it to him as his lucky charm. It always did its trick and, on the few occasions that he forgot it or grabbed a different handkerchief, something bad tended to happen to him. The fact that he left his lucky handkerchief back in the Shire at Bag End made him more nervous about this crazy adventure than he had been originally, but he couldn’t explain that to the dwarves or Gandalf. The dwarves wouldn’t understand luck when they had so little of it on their own and Gandalf would just give one of his judgingly knowing looks that made you feel like you were just acting really stupid. Bilbo had no desire for either of these reactions, so he decided to keep his mouth firmly shut after the first attempt.

Unfortunately, Bilbo worried about it far more than he should have. He couldn’t sleep that night for more reasons than just the uncomfortableness of the rocks beneath him. He had the terrible feeling that something bad was going to happen and he didn’t want to be asleep when it did.

Finally, he gave up his struggle for sleep and decided to stretch his legs a bit. And maybe give Myrtle an apple. She did have a proper fondness for apples and Bilbo really did like living creatures despite his previous objection to having to ride on a pony. Even when he was a dwarf, he had an improper love of growing things. He had always been different from all the other dwarves, but that never bothered him. He would have liked to have had some siblings to defend him against cruel taunts like he was sure Dori and Nori had done for Ori, but otherwise he didn’t care for anything that he didn’t have.

Bilbo was torn from his musings when he heard a sound in the trees. He recognized it, but he really couldn’t quite place it so he asked Fili and Kili who were the closest two awake dwarves around. He should have known better.

“Orcs,” Kili muttered with a way look on his face.

“Orcs?” Bilbo repeated. He was trying to be quiet, but it was evident that he was too loud when Thorin stood in his place after waking to Bilbo’s frightened gasp. He looked out just to make sure they weren’t under attack, but then his nephews continued to speak and he realized that they were just pulling one over on the Hobbit. Normally he wouldn’t much care about what Kili and Fili joked around about, but this was one thing that he would not allow any of the members of his party to not take seriously. Bilbo couldn’t blame him.

“You think that’s funny?” Thorin growled at his nephews and they both shrunk back, knowing that they had done wrong. “You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?”

“We didn’t mean anything by it,” Kili pouted as he shrunk a little further into the rocks that he had been leaning against when this whole thing started.

Bilbo frowned when Thorin continued scolding them, ending with a “You know nothing of the world,” before walking away. If it was true that they didn’t know much about the world, then he wanted it to remain that way for as long as possible. The jokes about the orcs was a little too far even for those jokers, but both Fili and Kili were still very young to the dwarves and Kili shouldn’t even be allowed on this journey. He would rather them have more time to see happiness, but Thorin had seen too much pain to allow his nephews to reach that high and then come crashing down. He just wouldn’t let them reach that his.

“Don’t mind him laddie,” Balin said. Apparently he was of a similar mind as Bilbo was about the fact that Thorin had been a little harsh, but he went about it a different way then Bilbo would have. He decided that the best way to explain Thorin’s reaction was to explain that day where they fought at the Mines of Moria. Bilbo could barely listen and he shuddered when the words “He started by beheading the king,” slipped into his consciousness and brought back gruesome memories of King Thror’s head being thrown amongst the battle. He could hear Thorin’s gut-wrenching scream of denial and he could hear Azog’s horrible laughter.

\------

_“Noooo!” Thorin yelled as Azog held the king’s head up for anyone and everyone to see it. That was the moment that turned everything to the worst. Before that, both the dwarves and the orcs had been almost evenly matched and, though there were many deaths on both sides, no one was really winning. Then Azog set his sights on and defeated the king and the dwarves seemed to weaken. Perhaps they lost hope or maybe they were just leaderless, but either way the dwarves were losing the moment the King’s head hit the ground._

_Bilbo looked around for the next in line to the throne, Thrain, Thorin’s father, but he was nowhere to be found and Bilbo suddenly realized that it now landed to Thorin himself. He didn’t know if the other was ready for it. It was supposed to be many years before he even had to worry about taking the throne, but now that all this was happening, Thorin was being thrust into the role of leader long before it was his time. He looked back at Thorin and saw that he was fighting his way towards Azog, but it would take him some time to get there and the defiler was yelling something in his foul language that Bilbo could not understand while pointing straight at Thorin. Bilbo, on the other hand, was much closer to the giant orc._

_He knew what he had to do. He had to buy time for Thorin to get there. Maybe he could even tire the pale orc enough that Thorin wouldn’t have too much trouble facing him and Thorin would be able to take back their courage and move them into the lead._

_Bilbo stepped forward, holding his blade high, and came face to face with Azog the Defiler. Those pale lips grinned as another laugh came from his throat. “You think you can beat me,” the creature snarled. Bilbo knew that he must look weak with being only able to use one arm and he must seem like a joke to the orc that he really shouldn’t be facing off against, but he didn’t step up with an intention of surviving. Only with the idea of buying time._

_“Even with only one arm,” Bilbo taunted the disgusting orc before him. He would have said more, but those five words were all that was needed for Azog to attack. Had he been able to finish his statement he would have said something about being able to hold his own against the pale orc instead of saying he could defeat the other. Apparently, either way, the orc didn’t take kindly to cripples challenging him. Especially cripple dwarves._

_Bilbo could feel the impact of the weapons as he defended himself with a sword reaching all the way down to his toes. And then Azog’s weapon retreated only to come down on him again. And again. And again. Bilbo could feel his arm cracking and eventually breaking under the pressure and then the sword was gone from his grip and he was defenseless. He could only hope that he bought Thorin enough time._

_“No!” he heard Thorin yell again as the large mace-like weapon that Azog held made contact with his chest. It crushed his ribs and, as he hit the ground and all the air was knocked out of him, Bilbo realized that his lungs had been pierced as well. He stayed alive, gasping for air, with just enough time to see Thorin cut Azog’s hand from his body while wielding an oaken branch and a sword that did not belong to him._

\--------

“Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken.” Balin said. It was obvious that he was proud of Thorin and he continued by saying that he knew then that he could follow Thorin and the other dwarves seemed to agree with him as they stood staring at Thorin with such reverence in their eyes. Bilbo would have done the same if he had survived the battle, but he didn’t. Now there was one question that he needed to ask.

“But the pale orc,” Bilbo asked. “What happened to him?”

“That filth slunk back into the hole from whence it came,” Thorin growled as he stalked back to his place by the fire. “That filth died of his wounds long ago.”

One look at Gandalf was enough to make Bilbo doubt those words. After all, he had once been the living proof that someone could survive wounds that should have killed. He only hoped that Thorin was right because he really didn’t want to have to face off against Azog again. Even with two hands, he was certain that his new smaller and much weaker body would not even make it as far against Azog as his crippled Dwarven body had. 


	4. Separation and Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to mention real fast that Bilbo's memories don't go in a particular order. It's just whatever he remembers when he remembers it.

After that night, Bilbo was haunted by the memory of that battle as well as the dreams that he had had before. He hadn’t known until then how he had died, and now that he did it scared him more than anything in the world. He wanted to help them, but he was a hobbit. What could a hobbit really do for dwarves?

The only thing that calmed Bilbo and made him want to stay, was watching Fili and Kili act together. He hadn’t been able to see how they would grow up because they were still very young when he had left for Moria, and it was nice to see them. He had been there when they first met and had known from that moment on that they were going to be the closest brothers and he was glad to know that he was right. It wasn’t hard to get wrong, though, especially when the two of them were soul mates.

\------

_“Uncle,” Fili whined one day as they walked through the group. It had been months since they escaped the lonely mountain and started wandering in search of a new home and Bilbo still had yet to reach the front. He was glad that so many of the dwarves had survived, but he couldn’t help but want to find the front after pushing both him and Fili so hard to get there. “My chest hurts.”_

_For a moment Bilbo was concerned about Fili’s health, but then when he saw that the little one was making a face of discomfort more so than actual pain, he knew what was happening. “That probably means that your soul mate has just been born,” he replied as he picked Fili up in his arms. His wounds had healed enough that they didn’t pain him as much anymore and he could carry Fili for longer periods of time without reaching his limit of exhaustion._

_“Is this what it felt like for you?” Fili asked with wide eyes._

_“Oh no,” Bilbo shook his head. “You see I was the second-born soul mate, so I didn’t feel the Separation, but I felt the Reunion and it was the most amazing thing that you’ll ever feel.”_

_“What did it feel like?” Fili asked._

_“Well,” Bilbo said thoughtfully. “It’s kind of hard to explain, but I’ll try. Right now, the feeling that you have is called Separation. It’s the time when your heart separates into two pieces so that the second half can go to the second-born soul mate. It makes you feel like your missing something right?” Fili nodded his head. “When the Reunion happens, the two halves of the heart come together once more and that feeling of emptiness goes away to allow something more from your soul mate to make you better than you ever were.”_

_“What if I don’t like my soul mate?” Fili asked._

_“I’ll tell you a secret,” Bilbo said in a mischievous kind of way that was sure to always make Fili listen to him. “My soul mate didn’t like me at first.”_

_“What?!” Fili gasped. “But you and Uncle Thorin are so close now.”_

_“Yes,” Bilbo nodded, “but I wasn’t what he imagined when he thought of his soul mate. He didn’t like that I wasn’t some tough little dwarf lass, so he denied me as his soul mate. I never told him, but the Rejection hurt very much and I had to deal with it alone until he finally realized that I was what he needed.”_

_“What is the Rejection?” Fili asked._

_“Well, the Rejection is when one or both of the soul mates deny their bond. Usually just one of them does it so they don’t actually feel the affects, but the other does. The two halves of the heart ripped apart again by the denial of the soul mates and they’re kept apart and that emptiness gets worse. It feels something like that of a starving man trying to reach out to the food just before him, but he can’t quite reach it.”_

_“I don’t want that to happen to my soul mate,” Fili frowned._

_“The only thing that you need to know is that your soul mate is the perfect person for you. Once your Unlce Thorin figured that out, the Reunion was able to take place once more and we lived happily.”_

_“What if my soul mate doesn’t like me?”_

_“Then just keep going after them until they do because just like your soul mate is the perfect person for you, you’re also the perfect person for your soul mate.”_

_“Do you think it will take me a very long time to find my soul mate?”_

_“Some people never find their’s,” Bilbo answered truthfully, “but those are the people who don’t go looking for them. It may take a while, but as long as you keep looking, you will find them.”_

_\------_

_It was only a week later when the topic was brought up again, but this time it was for a different reason. “Uncle!” Fili gasped suddenly as he clutched at his chest. “I don’t feel right.”_

_Bilbo stopped immediately and put little Fili on the ground while the other dwarves moved around them. They glanced at the two of them worriedly, but they had the feeling that this was probably a personal matter so they went on without a word. “What is the matter?” Bilbo asked calmly. It wouldn’t do to get Fili even more worked up than he already was._

_“My chest really hurts,” Fili began to cry._

_Bilbo frowned. There were only three reasons for his chest to be hurting like that: the Separation, the Rejection, and, the death of the soul mate. There was one other choice; the one that Bilbo could only hope was the truth. In certain cases, when the bond of the soul mates was strong enough, they could call out to each other when they needed each other. He and Thorin had that close of a bond, but it wasn’t until after the Reunion that they could actually use it and there hadn’t been any reported cases of it happening before the Reunion, but he had to hope. “Does it feel like you need to go somewhere?” Bilbo asked desperately even as he tried to keep his voice as even as possible for the little one. Fili nodded and Bilbo picked him up once more. “Point me in the right direction.” And then he took off at a run. The only times this type of communication had worked between Thorin and himself had been when they were so badly hurt that they were on the verge of death and needed immediate care so he knew he had to hurry._

_Bilbo moved to the side of the group so that he could move quicker and only have to dodge the occasional dwarf who strayed outside the group._

_“Wait! Uncle, wait!” Fili suddenly scrambled out of his arms and rushed into the crowd with Bilbo hot on his heels._

_“There’s nothing you can do for him?” Bilbo heard as they reached another cart. This one was covering in a tent of cloth and Bilbo quickly realized that it was a healer’s cart. He had been in one for a day or so when he first got injured and they were meant to carry the wounded and sick while they were on a journey. These carts they were able to save several of because they were kept at the front of the gate, but some of them were converted for transporting supplies so there were very few of them scattered throughout the large company of travelling dwarves._

_“I’m sorry Ma’am, but this type of fever can only be cured by the soul mate. No one of his age and who has yet to experience the Reunion has ever survived it.”_

_Bilbo spotted Fili trying to climb into the cart, but he was too short and no one else noticed him so Bilbo took it upon himself. He shouldered past the last dwarf to get in his way, which he didn’t notice was actually a guard, and lifted Fili up to deposit him on the cart._

_Inside, he was surprised to see Dis sitting there with a healer and a little baby dwarf wheezing in her arms. “Fili!” she gasped when he scrambled up to her, but he paid her no attention. Instead, he looked at the little child in her arms. He reached out and tried to take him from her, but she pulled back. She didn’t want her eldest son to accidentally drop her youngest and make the situation worse than it already was._

_Fili glared up at his mother, but before he could say anything Bilbo cut in. “Fili, if you sit down I’m sure your mother will let you hold him.”_

_Fili instantly sat cross-legged on the cart floor, which was saying something because he very rarely liked to follow orders so quickly, and, with a nod from Bilbo, Dis carefully placed the little baby in Fili’s lap. Almost immediately, the little baby’s wheezing began to subside as Fili held him in his arms and rocked back and forth to calm the crying that had been trying to escape past the wheezing. Once both had subsided, the little baby opened his eyes and began to giggle as he yanked on Fili’s hair and play with Fili’s fingers._

_“The Reunion!” the healer gasped. “This is a miracle.”_

_The guard, who had followed Bilbo to the cart with every intention of removing him from it and their princess, turned and ran towards the head of the group yelling things like “The young prince Fili lives and Kili will live!” as he went. There was a lot of commotion and celebration, but Fili paid no mind to any of it. He just sat there and played with his young brother and soul mate, Kili._

_\------_

Fili kept their bond a secret and nobody was against that. Both he and Kili were much too young to be worrying about soul mates, but Bilbo had thought that he would have told him before their mission to Erebor. He was getting the sneaking suspicion that he hadn’t, though, since the two of them were very close, but not as close as he believed they would have been had they been together.

Still, Thorin respected their bond and often sent them off to be alone together. Maybe he was hoping that Fili would finally tell Kili when they were together. Or maybe it was just better to never separate the two of them since Fili still seemed to be very protective of his brother and Kili, though he was reckless and didn’t always look it, was scarcely less so for his brother. They had always been there to back each other up when Bilbo knew them as a dwarf and he often found himself unable to deny them anything from getting out of being punished to getting a bite of sweets before dinner.

Bilbo found himself still unable to deny the young dwarves as they shoved him towards a troll camp with the promise of being right behind him even though they disappeared almost immediately. The logical part of Bilbo’s mind told him that he needed to turn back and get the rest of the dwarves, but he also didn’t want to get Fili and Kili in trouble for not paying attention so he decided to just go for it.


	5. Rejection

Bilbo snuck up to the gate that was holding their ponies with ease, which surprised him greatly as he had never been good at sneaking in either of his lives. He supposed it was probably because at this moment sneaking was necessary when it had never been before. He could do anything if it was necessary for his friends and family. He only hoped it would last when he had to face off against a dragon.

It was the moment that he reached the gate that he found himself at a loss. He tried to undo the knot, but it was tied much too tight for him to untie and the rope was much to heavy for him to remove. It was in this moment that he wished that he had a weapon. As a dwarf he would never have been caught dead without at least a small dagger stuffed in his boots, but now as a hobbit he hadn’t even thought of such things and didn’t have a boot to stash them in even if he had. He really should have turned back at that moment and at least asked one of his nephews for something to cut the rope, but as the though crossed his mind he noticed that there was a large sharp weapon strapped to one of the trolls.

He crept his way over to the troll despite the ponies’ protests and then realized that he had no actual plan on how to get the weapon. It was much bigger than he originally thought. Bigger, even, than him. If he picked it up, it would likely knock him over and that was only if he somehow managed to remove it from the back of a very large troll. Needless to say, Bilbo could not do that.

The moment he tried, he was caught in the most disgusting way and then when Kili came out, followed by the rest of the dwarves, to save him he only escaped long enough to lug the large weapon over and release the ponies before he was caught again and the rest of the dwarves were captured with him.

Bilbo couldn’t help but feel severely disappointed in himself. As a dwarf he would never have gotten his whole company captured. He probably wouldn’t have even gotten himself captured, but that was neither here nor there. Bilbo was a hobbit now and he had to go about things the way a hobbit should.

He was given his chance to do just that when the trolls were stupid enough to mention their weakness in front of their captives. Honestly, Bilbo would never thought up his next plan if they hadn’t said anything, but they did so now he saw his chance. He had always been better with brains than brawn anyway.

\-------

_Bilbo was never thought of as a true dwarf. Many of the others often said that he was meant to be another species all together because he would rather sit and read a book then take the time to wrestle with the rest of the children. He loved adventures just as much as any of the other dwarves, but he didn’t see the reason to get into fights with each other. There was no adventure in that._

_That didn’t, however, mean that Bilbo didn’t learn how to fight. Being the son of the one of the king’s main guard, he spent plenty of time practicing with his father and working in the smithy to improve his skills. He just spent the rest of it improving his knowledge instead of playing around._

_Bilbo’s father always wanted him to go into the guard, but he had no intention of doing that. He would risk his life for the king when danger was upon them; he would not spend countless hours standing at the throne waiting to capture a stupid dwarf doing something less than savory. Still, his father insisted to the point that he at least had to meet him and see where he worked. His father, who was good friends with the king’s son Thrain, had gotten special permission to show Bilbo around anywhere that a guard would be positioned._

_That was how he met Thorin Oakenshield._

_\------_

_“This is the training grounds,” his father said to him as he gestured toward the room where the two youngest royals were sparring._

_Bilbo looked at the room as a whole, it was much bigger than any other sparring rooms, which is to be expected for royalty, and then at the two in the center of it. He could see some mistakes that they were making. The dark-haired princess had a few openings every now and again just after she swung her sword and the light-haired prince couldn’t seem to keep his footing. They weren’t horrible flaws that anyone would notice, but Bilbo was very good at finding a person’s strengths and weaknesses. It was one of the first things that his father had taught him so that he would be able to take out an enemy as quickly as possible._

_He wasn’t the only one who was noticing the slips, though._

_Off to the side, the eldest dark-haired prince kept pointing out their weaknesses and telling them how to fix it despite the fact that they kept falling back into their mistakes every time he fixed them._

_“There’s no need to push them so hard, Prince Thorin,” Bilbo’s father called out over the clanging of the metal swords clashing together._

_“Mister Vorin,” Dis said excitedly when she looked up and saw him. She just barely dodged out of the way of the attack Frerin sent towards her before sending him a nasty glare for attacking her when she wasn’t paying attention. “What brings you here today. I had heard that you were taking the day off.”_

_“I was just showing my youngest son around,” Vorin waved his hand towards Bilbo who bowed respectably to the royals._

_“Haran, at your service,” Bilbo introduced._

_Dis came bounding over and held out her hand for Bilbo to take. It was custom for anyone who was looking for a soul mate to join their hands in the hopes that the skin-on-skin contact would induce the Reunion. It wouldn’t be rude for Bilbo to refuse the hand, as he wasn’t actively seeking a mate himself, but his father gave him a look and he could not refuse._

_Bilbo joined hands with princess Dis and, much to his relief, nothing happened. Then prince Frerin came and took his hand with nothing happening. Bilbo half expected the older prince to come over too, but he stayed where he was and paid Bilbo little mind._

_“Come and train with us,” Dis suggested with a smile despite her disappointment at still not being able to find her soul mate. “Thorin hasn’t had a challenge yet that he couldn’t beat.”_

_“I’d rather not,” Bilbo said politely. Not even his father’s reproachful look could make him change his mind. He did not like to fight and so avoided it whenever possible._

_“Are you so weak, Haran son of Vorin, that you will not face me?” Thorin spoke for the first time to him. He looked like he was hoping for a fight, he was probably waiting for someone worthy to come to his attention, but Bilbo would not be swayed. That didn’t, however, mean that he would allow such a comment to slide past him._

_“Perhaps I believe that you, Thorin son of Thrain, are too weak to face me.”_

_Bilbo turned to leave, readying himself for his father’s scoldings when they were out of earshot, but someone yanked him back and he felt a feeling of completeness overtake him. It was the Reunion._

_“You are my intended?” Thorin growled. “A weak dwarf like you who cannot even fight has no place amongst royalty.”_

_Then the pain set in and it was so much worse than it had been before. Bilbo knew that he must have felt the Rejection, but he made sure not to show it. Thorin already thought he was weak; he didn’t want his intended to belittle him for feeling the Rejection so keenly as well. “Yes, well, then I suppose that we must part ways for now.” Bilbo chose his words carefully. He didn’t want to accidently make Thorin feel Rejection as well. He would never wish that on his intended._

_Bilbo gave one more respectable bow, aimed mostly towards Thorin, before turning on his heel and leaving so that he could curl in on himself and get used to the pain that would probably be with him for the rest of his life. There was one good thing about the Rejection: his father wouldn’t dare to scold him when he was already experiencing this horrible torture._

_\-----_

In the end, after Bilbo had distracted the trolls for a little while, it was Gandalf who ultimately saved them. Bilbo was grateful, he didn’t know if he could distract the trolls any longer than he had, but he wished that Thorin would acknowledge what he did to help. He overheard Thorin’s conversation with Gandalf and found that Thorin blamed him for their mishap. It was his fault that they got caught, but he wasn’t the one to lose the ponies in the first place. It was unfair, but he rather he get blamed than Fili and Kili.


	6. Apologies

It wasn't long before they were moving again, but they weren't planning on going very far since they left the ponies where they were with Ori. They found a Troll horde, which Bilbo refused to go into because he didn't want his sensitive Hobbit nose to be subjected to the scents that he could already smell wafting outside of the cave. Gandalf, Thorin, and a few of the other dwarves went in while the rest stayed outside and stood guard. That's when Fili and Kili approached Bilbo once again.

"We're terribly sorry Master Burglar," the two said as they bowed slightly to him. At least they remembered that part of Bilbo's teachings. Bilbo wasn't the only one to teach them apologizing, of course, but he was the one to teach them how to realize that they've made a mistake even when they aren't punished for it. It was generally Bilbo who took the blame for them, so they always had to come and apologize to him.

He remembered when they were younger and Kili still didn't talk, even though it was way past time that he should have started, and Fili would be the one that would apologize for both of them while Kili just followed his every move.

* * *

" _Fili," Bilbo said in a false calm voice that his nephews would soon realize meant that they, or whoever else was on the receiving end, were in trouble._

" _Yes Uncle?" Fili asked as he came to greet Bilbo by his mother's fire. Kili was stumbling along behind him, gripping onto his sleeve like it was his only lifeline, and Bilbo could tell by the little crumbs on the little one's jacket that it was not only Fili who ate the cookies._

" _Your mother was very mad to find that two of her cookies had been stolen," Bilbo divulged with his uninjured brow raised._

_Fili gulped immediately while Kili looked up at Fili with unknowing eyes. "Does she know who took them?" Fili asked, always tactically trying to figure out if they were in trouble without actually getting them into trouble._

" _I told her that I let the two of you have them," Bilbo said. Fili's eyes immediately lit up and he grinned from ear to ear, but Bilbo was not done. "I did see you sneak the cookies, after all," Fili's grin wasn't so big anymore, "and I know I should have stopped you, but I thought that your Uncle Thorin was teaching you that it's not good to steal. I thought that you should know better." This was Bilbo's best form of punishment. Even when other forms of punishment were assigned, he liked to sit down and talk with Fili, and now Kili, to get the point across about how what they had done was not good. Guilt, he found, was a great emotion to discourage future transgressions._

" _Yes Uncle," Fili looked down to the ground in shame. He knew very well that he was not supposed to do things like that. He liked it better when Uncle Haran scolded him, though, because when Uncle Thorin did it, he always brought up the fact that Fili was a prince and his heir. Bilbo knew Thorin meant well, but he didn't like to put that much weight on a child so young._

" _However," Bilbo continued. "I also saw that Kili really wanted a cookie for himself."_

" _It wasn't his fault," Fili jumped in immediately. If there was one sure way to get Fili to talk back to you, it was to blame Kili._

" _No," Bilbo shook his head. "Both of you ate the cookies. What you both did was wrong, but I saw that you got a cookie first for your brother because he wanted one and then for yourself only as an after thought. That is the only reason that I told your mother what I did and I will not do it again. It is good that you are trying to make your brother happy, but you have to ask before you take. Your mother was hoping to save those cookies for a nice desert after dinner, but now neither of you will be having any."_

" _Yes Uncle," Fili pouted, but he already knew the punishment of what he did and he also knew that, had his uncle not stood up for him, it would've been worse. He was just glad that Kili wasn't going to get in trouble except for a lack of cookies after dinner._

" _Now Fili," Bilbo stopped the two of them before they could leave the room. "You and your brother have done wrong. What do you say when you do wrong?"_

" _We're sorry Uncle Haran," Fili said with a bow. Kili only bowed because Fili did, but Bilbo didn't expect anything else so he sent the two of them off to their room to play._

" _You spoil them," Thorin said from the doorway once his two nephews had left the room. He walked over to stand behind the seated Bilbo and rest his hands upon his shoulders. "How will they ever learn if you don't let them get in trouble?"_

" _I can't help it," Bilbo smiled as he rested his uninjured cheek on Thorin's hand. The scars on the other side of his face made that side very sensitive and he tried not to aggravate it by rubbing it against anything. "I would have done the same thing for you."_

" _I think it's the other way around," Thorin smiled and Bilbo laughed. Thorin had just accidentally proved his point and he was only just now realizing it as he cursed himself. "That's unfair."_

" _All's fair in love and war," Bilbo replied._

_There was a moment of silence and then Thorin moved to sit next to Bilbo with a concerned expression on his face. "I want to talk to you about Kili." Bilbo nodded and Thorin continued. "He still hasn't spoken even though all the other dwarflings his age have. I'm worried that he never will."_

" _It's alright Thorin," Bilbo smiled reassuringly. "My elder brother and I were really close as children and he always seemed to know what I wanted as soon as I wanted it." Bilbo's older brother had been part of the guard and had perished with his father when the dragon came, so they rarely talked about him, but that didn't make Bilbo's memories of him any less fond. "It took me ages to start talking because I didn't need to with him around and we weren't nearly as close as Fili and Kili are. Give him time, I guarantee you that he will be talking full sentences before you even know it." Everyone had thought that Bilbo was a late bloomer and would be very dumb when he wouldn't talk at a normal age, but he turned out to be rather smart so he wasn't worried for Kili's sake at all. Even if it did turn out that Kili was dumb, Fili would love him no matter what._

" _My family never had that problem," Thorin pointed out._

" _You were raised in a royal family where you're taught to be well spoken at a young age so that you'll be ready to address your people when you got old enough. You didn't have time to choose not to talk. Don't worry about it. And tell your sister not to worry too, since I know that she's probably hysterical by now with you starting to worry."_

* * *

They were cute at that age. Now that Bilbo was getting his memory back, he really wished that he had been there to see the two of them grow up. As it is, he's not even sure Fili remembers him, let alone Kili. Sometimes, looking at Thorin as he is now, Bilbo even wonders if Thorin remembers him, but he immediately shakes himself because he know that his soulmate would never forget him. It had been years and Thorin had enough time to get over him and stop grieving for him.

"Yes, well," Bilbo responded to the boys with a fake agreeable voice that he hoped the brothers would soon come to learn meant that they were in trouble, "perhaps next time you'll keep a better eye on the ponies. And you won't send helpless Hobbits into danger even if they are burglars." Which Bilbo still insisted that he wasn't, but that was a totally different fight.

"We didn't mean to put you in danger," Kili said.

"We thought that you'd be able to get in and out without being caught," Fili continued.

"And you didn't want to get in trouble," Bilbo crossed his arms. They weren't going to turn this around on him. He knew them too well. "Had you thought it through, you might have realized that even if I had gotten the ponies free without being caught, the trolls would've have noticed that they were leaving. Either way, there was no getting out of there undetected." Fili and Kili looked at each other bashfully, but Bilbo was not finished. "Of course, I didn't think of it either, so I can't be too angry at you, but you have to remember that I'm not used to adventures and I wouldn't have a reason to think of such things with the quickness that is required while in danger."

Kili and Fili both had the decency to look chastised, but Bilbo never got to know if they were going to say anything else because it was in that moment that Thorin and the rest of the group emerged from the troll horde,

Thorin was carrying a new sword, Bilbo notice almost immediately, and he was curious about it, but he chose not to ask. He got his answer from Gandalf, anyway, when he explain his own new weapon to him despite Bilbo's refusal for it. Bilbo had earlier desired a weapon when he was faced with trolls, but now that he had one in his hand, he wanted nothing more than to drop it and leave it behind. He was a Hobbit, not a dwarf, and Hobbit's didn't carry such things. Besides, even in his old life, Bilbo really hated to kill. He only carried around daggers for self-defense. There was no knowing what kind of creatures would attack someone even when they were weaponless. Especially after he married Thorin.

That logic, of course, fit more so into his current circumstance of a burglar on a very dangerous journey then it did before, but Bilbo really didn't want a sword no matter how beautiful it was. He would be fine with small little daggers that he could carry in his hands. He only used swords when he was getting ready for war and he really hoped that there wouldn't be a war on this journey.


	7. Under Attack

A sound off in the distance distracts everyone as Thorin yells that someone is coming and Bilbo can no longer deny the sword because Gandalf has moved off. It will be useful, but not as it is now in its sheathe.

Bilbo pulled the sword out and was immediately mesmerized by it. He wasn't caught in any sort of gold lust for it, but he had never seen a sword so well made. Now he was very glad that he didn't get rid of it despite his desire to never use it. He could get used to using this sword and still, hopefully, not have to use it during a war. A dagger to fit his hands would probably not do much damage to a goblin, let alone an orc or a dragon. This weapon would just have to take their place.

Luckily, Bilbo had no need for the weapon because their so-called attacker was just another wizard. One of the ones that Gandalf had mentioned earlier: Radagast the Brown. The man was rather odd and Bilbo couldn't help but to cringe in disgust when Gandalf pulled a stick insect out of the brown wizards mouth. Bilbo kept his home as insect free as possible and even though he had to deal with many bugs on this journey already, that didn't mean that he liked them and more. In fact, he might say that he liked them even less, especially when they crawled all over his skin, and he didn't know how Radagast was so nonchalant about it. Gandalf had said that Radagast watched over the woods, but still.

He had no real time to think of it, however, because Radagast soon started talking about evil things that Bilbo had never heard of. The other dwarves didn't seem to be concerning themselves with the wizards' conversation and it was probably only Bilbo's Hobbit curiosity that prompted him to listen in on the muttered words. He still didn't understand what they were talking about, of course, but he would remember all of those cautious words in the future just in case they came up again.

Just as abruptly as Radagast came and started their dark conversation, it was over with the sounds of a warg on the wind.

"Was that a wolf? Are their wolves out there?" Bilbo asked, knowing that those were not wolves and hoping beyond hope that they were.

Bofur confirmed his suspicion of wargs just before one actually appeared above them. And, as soon as that one had been defeated, another appeared. Kili shot it just in time to stop it from attacking Thorin. And then the other dwarves were on it before it could get back up again.

Thorin growled something, but Bilbo couldn't think straight enough to hear what he was saying. He saw everyone tense and then Ori and Bifur were running up to them without any ponies. There chances of surviving this were quickly dwindling. The only one who had the possibility of outrunning the orc pack was Bilbo as he was quick and light on his feet, but in the event that he was captured he would also be the only one who had no way of protecting himself. He still hadn't gotten a chance to even pull out his long enough to even relearn how to use it.

The next thing Bilbo knew, with his heart pounding in his ears at his fright, was Radagast taking off on a sled pulled by rabbits and the company running behind him. Radagast quickly lost them, but Bilbo supposed that was the point when they reached the clearing and found him leading the orcs of a wild chase. Gandalf was leading them on a similar chase, while the company followed him without even knowing where they were going. Thorin seemed to be suspicious at one point, but there was really nothing that could be done to go against the wizard so they continued on.

It wasn't to last, unfortunately. They were hiding against a rock when they heard the tell tale signs of a warg that had caught there sent above them. Thorin looked over at Kili's bow and Kili nodded to show that he knew what he had to do. It was at that moment that Bilbo was very glad that he had taught Kili how to use the bow.

* * *

" _Why can't I be with Fili?" Kili pouted as the little one walked in the trees near the homes with Bilbo. This was the first time that Kili had been separated from Fili for more than a few moments. Even when Fili had started training, Kili had been allowed to watch since everyone knew that he would sneak that way anyway. This time was different, however. Thorin took Fili out into the forest to train by hunting and neither of them would be able to keep track of the little one in that dangerous area. They left him with Bilbo because he was the only one who had nothing to do except look after the little one. It also helped that Kili looked up to Bilbo as his "favorite" uncle._

" _Fili's off on an adventure," Bilbo smiled kindly. "He's very excited to return and show you what he accomplished. You wouldn't deprive him of that, would you?"_

_Kili took a moment to puzzle through Bilbo's words, which was his intent as a way to distract the other, and then he shook his head slowly. "But I want to be with him."_

" _If you're patient, I'm sure he will be very happy to see you again when he returns," Bilbo replied before quickly changing the subject. "Now why don't we play a game? What would you like to play?"_

" _I spy!" Kili said immediately. It was his favorite game because he always seemed to win._

" _Alrighty then," Bilbo nodded. "You go first."_

" _I spy something black!" Kili said after glancing around._

_It was a hard one, of course, since there didn't seem to be anything black except for the shadows, but Bilbo still threw out some guesses. Some of them were so outrageous that they made Kili laugh, but Bilbo never got the answer right. Finally, he gave up and was shocked when Kili pointed into the shadow at a raven that had been watching them for some time now. If Kili hadn't pointed him out, Bilbo would never have seen it at all and he had some of the better sights of the dwarves._

" _How long is it before you are to start learning your weapons?" Bilbo asked the young one._

" _Uncle Thorin says that he'll take me and Fili to start training with ours swords together on my birthday next week!" Kili said excitedly._

" _Would you like me to teach you another weapon now?" Bilbo asked. "You can surprise your uncle and Fili with it when they return."_

" _Can I really?" Kili asked excitedly._

" _Of course," Bilbo smiled._

* * *

_Kili took up the bow a lot faster than Bilbo was really expecting. It was almost like the young one was just meant to have that particular weapon in his hands. He barely even had to readjust Kili's stance before the little one was hitting his target. He wasn't getting bullseyes, at least not yet, but the fact that he was already hitting the target is more than he was able to say for himself when he was first learning it. With some constant practice, Kili would surely be a pro in no time._

_Once Kili had picked up the bow, though, he was so determined to learn that Bilbo had to practically tear the bow away from him as the light of the day dimmed. He might have literally had to do that if he hadn't thought to mention the fact that Fili would be home and wanting to see Kili any minute now. The moment Fili's name passed through Bilbo's lips, the bow was thrust back at him and Kili was running back to his home. Bilbo laughed and ran after the little one, scooping him up so that they could walk peacefully back despite Kili's constant squirming._

_They returned to find Thorin and Fili at the front door, removing their weapons to be placed by the front door with their coats._

" _Fili!" Kili yelled excitedly, squirming out of Bilbo's hold to throw his arms around his brother who eagerly returned the embrace. "How did your trip go?"_

" _Uncle showed me a lot of stuff…" Fili immediately began to tell Kili about all that had happened on his journey. He wasn't able to kill anything since he wasn't as quick as the other dwarves, but he had been the one to notice a lot of the wild animals. After all, his eye was almost as good as his little brother's._

" _And what have you been up to while we were gone?" Thorin kissed Bilbo's lips lovingly. Despite Bilbo's previous concerns that Thorin might not want to kiss lips that were as scarred as his, the first thing that Thorin had done when Bilbo was given the all clear was give him on kiss for everyday that he hadn't been able to while Bilbo was healing. It was nice to know that Thorin really didn't care about that sort of thing._

" _I'm sure Kili will be happy to tell you," Bilbo smiled into the kiss. Thorin looked pointedly over at the two boys with Fili still talking animatedly and Bilbo couldn't help but laugh. "You have to wait until he's ready to tell you."_

" _But why can't you do it?" Thorin asked._

" _I won't take his exciting news away from him," Bilbo shook his head. "One thing, though." Thorin raised a brow. "Don't be mad at him. It was my idea."_

_Thorin nodded his promise, though his eyes showing suspicion. He would do anything for his soulmate and his nephews._

* * *

_It was dark by the time that Kili actually got a chance to give his own news. "Uncle Haran has been teaching me weapons!" he shouted excitedly._

_Fili frowned. "But your first sword lesson was supposed to be with me."_

" _We weren't learning swords," Kili shook his head. "I wouldn't learn swords without you, but Uncle Haran was showing me how to use…" Kili ran out of the room and returned with the practice bow that Bilbo had given him, "this!"_

" _Is that a bow?" Fili asked. He had heard of the weapon from Bilbo, but so few of the dwarves actually used it that he had never really seen it._

" _Yea!" Kili said. "Isn't it cool."_

" _Yea!" Fili agreed with a nod as he got closer to inspect it._

" _You should learn the bow too!" Kili said._

" _That wouldn't be a good idea Kili," Bilbo shook his head and both boys looked up at him with wide eyes. They had never really done anything differently since Kili was born. "I mean that it is entirely possible for you both to learn the bow, but that sort of weapon is one that, in battle, you should have someone you trust there to protect you."_

" _I'll protect him," Fili said immediately._

" _I know you will," Bilbo nodded, "but that's why you shouldn't worry about learning the bow. It would take too long for you to switch to the sword that you love so much to protect your brother."_

" _Kili and I could have my sword in one hand and a bow in the other," Fili said._

" _You need two hands to use a bow," Bilbo shook his head. "There is another long distance weapon that I could show you if you'd like."_

_Fili looked over at Kili who was looking somewhat confused. Bilbo could see that the older of the two understood his arguments, but the little one did not so he decided to continue._

" _If one of you focuses on a close range weapon and the other focuses on a long range weapon, then you shouldn't be separated in war." That made up their mind, but Bilbo had a little bit more incentive. "And you can each also learn the other's range of weaponry so you can protect each other when the other falls."_

" _Then why can't Fili learn the bow?" Kili asked._

" _He can," Bilbo replied. "But it would be better for him to learn a long range weapon that only requires one hand. You can abandon your bow when it is time for you to switch ranges, but your brother cannot abandon his sword."_

" _What if I learn two swords?" Fili asked. "That way I can protect Kili twice as hard."_

" _That's a good idea," Bilbo smiled. "Maybe you can get your Uncle Thorin to teach you to do that when he begins teaching Kili his sword." Everyone looked over at Thorin who, despite his slightly hesitant thoughtful look, nodded his head._

" _But then what will I learn while you teach Kili his bow?" Fili asked._

" _I can teach you to throw knives," Bilbo smiled. "That can be your long rage weapon."_

" _Okay!" the boys chimed together. That was enough to satisfy them so they immediately ran into the other room, leaving Bilbo to face Thorin and Dis._

" _What made you think to teach Kili the bow?" Thorin asked._

" _He has good eyes," Bilbo shrugged, "and I knew that their dynamic would be perfect for it."_

" _But isn't that an elven weapon?" Dis asked. Bilbo would have said something against the insult that she had unintentionally brought up, but he knew that she was only worrying for how the other dwarves would react to it. Thorin was not so easily dissuaded since he knew that that had been a favorite of Bilbo's before his arm was rendered unusable._

" _It is," Bilbo replied before Thorin could say anything against his sister, "but even dwarves need to be able to use a long range weapon. In any war, he will be a great help to us all and the other dwarves will see that in time."_

* * *

That time was here already, Bilbo realized, as all the dwarves counted on Kili to pull off his shot. Kili did not disappoint.


	8. Visiting Elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When all seems lost the elves come and the dwarves are able to escape and Thorin isn't particularly happy about it. Not that he was ever happy to see elves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to note right now that I had originally planned on updating this story here as I updated I See Fire Extras so that they would be kept on the same time line, but I have fallen far behind with I See Fire Extras, so I'm just going to post the chapters for I See Fire that are already written right now. There will be a lot of chapters, but from now on I will update them as I write them so there will never again be a mass update like this one. I'm sorry everyone had to wait so long for me to make this decision, but I hope you enjoy the many chapters to come.

Unfortunately, that one arrow still wasn't enough to take down both a warg and an orc. The other dwarves immediately took down their attackers, but it was already too late. They had given away our position through all the noise that was made and Radagast had already disappeared. The only thing that was left for them was to run as fast as they could.

Kili continued to shoot any of the wargs that he could easily aim at while running, but it seemed that every time he hit one another few came to take it's place until they were surrounded.

"Where's Gandalf?" someone yelled and wasn't it just there luck that their wizard disappeared at that very moment.

Only, he didn't really disappear as only moments later the very wizard was coming out of a hole in the ground and calling to them to follow him back into it. Bilbo didn't have to be told twice. Haran may have been a powerful warrior, but he sure wasn't and, if he still wore boots as a Hobbit, he would have been quaking in them a long time ago.

Thorin was the last to slide into their safety amongst the rocks and it was only moments later that a somewhat familiar sound of a horn pierced the air and the orcs above them were distracted by "Elves," Thorin growled.

Bilbo never understood Thorin's dislike of the elves. He actually quite liked them. Well, he liked every elf except Thranduil. He just had a way of making people dislike him and he was slowly turning his son, Legolas to do the same. Every other elf, though, Bilbo had always gotten along with. He had even asked them to help him with learning how to use the bow.

* * *

" _King Thror is heading to Rivendell to meet with the elves there," Bilbo's father told him suddenly when he came back from work one day._

" _Are you going to be gone long?" Bilbo asked, knowing that there had to be a reason that his father told him this. Usually, he only told his older brother things of that nature and Bilbo had to find out on his own, which he understood since the business of royalty had to stay secret to keep royalty safe._

" _I want you to come with us," Vorin replied._

_Bilbo was shocked. His father had taken him around the royal halls several times, but he had never once suggested that he join the royal caravan. Especially not for such a long trip._

" _I remember you wanted to learn the bow," Vorin continued rather awkwardly, "and I thought that you might ask the elves since I have no skill with it."_

_It was a consolation prize, then, for being rejected by Thorin. Still, he would take it. He had been trying to teach himself to use the bow for some time now and, though he had gotten rather good, he knew that there were several pointers that the elves would most likely be able to give him._

" _I've already asked King Thror if it would be okay for me to bring you along and he agreed. Your mother was a bit harder to convince, but she understands my reasoning."_

" _When do we leave?" Bilbo asked with a grin. He was already thinking about all the things that he could learn from the elves._

" _We're leaving tomorrow."_

* * *

_He was not, however, expecting to see Prince Thorin standing grumpily next to his grandfather. Neither was his father, if Vorin's face was any indication. He glanced quickly over to Bilbo, but Bilbo just sighed and steeled himself for whatever happened. He would deal with the pain if it meant that he could go see the elves. Vorin understood his unspoken words and, with a respecting nod, he turned back to bow to the king._

" _My son has decided to join us on this expedition," King Thror smiled, but the look on Thorin's face said that he hadn't done anything by choice. "It will be good for him to interact with the elves."_

" _Of course," Vorin smiled. "It's always good to learn these things early in life. My own son is very eager to speak with them."_

_Thorin's scowl got even worse as he glared at Bilbo who stood just behind and to the right of his father._

" _Yes," King Thror nodded. "You told me that he was eager to learn the bow."_

" _Why would anyone want to learn an elven weapon like that?" Thorin growled. King Thror glared at him, but he refused to take back his words._

" _To protect those we love," Bilbo replied. He didn't go any deeper than that, though, because none of the dwarves ever really understood his reasoning. They were the type of people that thought that, in order to protect the ones you love, you had to be right there next to them. Ready to jump in front if it ever came to that. Bilbo would do the same, but with the use of a bow he could protect them even when he got separated from them._

* * *

_When they arrived at Rivendell, Bilbo couldn't help but stare at everything in awe. He had never before seen any architecture other than that of the dwarves and the men of Dale and Rivendell truly was a splendid thing to behold._

" _King Thror," an elf came to greet them with open and welcoming arms, "it is good to see you again."_

" _Very good indeed Lord Elrond," King Thror replied and their conversation continued for some time until finally Lord Elrond offered them dinner._

" _Lord Elrond," Vorin spoke up as he bowed slightly, though not as deep as he would to his own king, to the other just before they could head to the dinning room, "my son would like to beg a favor of you."_

_Lord Elrond looked over to Bilbo curiously and he bowed just as his father had. "I was hoping to ask some of your people to teach me how to use the bow if it is okay with you."_

" _Of course," Lord Elrond smiled. "My sons, Elladan and Elrohir, will be happy to teach you." The two twin siblings that stood just behind Lord Elrond smiled. "Perhaps after dinner you three can go into the gardens to practice."_

" _Thank you so much!" Bilbo grinned, bowing again in his gratitude. Then he turned to the twins and bowed to them. "I shall be ready to learn whenever the two of you will teach me."_

* * *

_And so, immediately after they ate, Bilbo followed Lord Elrond's twin sons out to the garden where a few targets had been set up while they ate._

" _How much do you know?" one of the twins asked._

" _I've been teaching myself for quite some time," Bilbo shrugged, "so I'm not sure how much I know and how much I am completely doing wrong."_

" _Well there's only one way to find out," the twins said. "Take your position." Bilbo did so, though he neglected to pull out an arrow, knowing that they were going to have corrections to make. "Your stance isn't horrible," they said, "but it could be better if you had a proper bow. Where did you get that thing?"_

" _My people don't really use bows so I made this one for myself."_

" _The tensioning is all wrong," the twins complained as they took the bow from him, "and the wood doesn't bend correctly. You'll never shoot right with this thing. Here, try this one." They handed him a bow that had been laying nearby, probably because the elves who had been told to set up the targets didn't think that a dwarf would have his own, and he took up his stance once again. He almost broke the bow with how hard he was used to pulling on his own, but he quickly corrected himself. He could tell that it was really made for a younger elf, since it fit his stature rather well, but he wouldn't complain. "See," the twins said, "that's so much better. Bows aren't meant to use so much strength. They're agile."_

" _This is much better than my own," Bilbo agreed with a smile, "but I'm afraid that I should still learn using my bow so that I'll have it to use when I leave."_

" _Nonsense," the twins refused to give the bow back, holding it high up so that Bilbo couldn't get it even if he tried, which he didn't, "you can keep that bow. We have plenty to share."_

_Bilbo smiled happily._

" _Now for your stance," the twins shook their head. "It's still all wrong." They came forward and reached out to adjust his grip, but their hands were immediately ripped away before they even made contact._

" _Don't touch him," Thorin growled, standing between Bilbo and the twins. Bilbo hadn't even noticed that he was in the garden with them._

" _What do you think your doing?" Bilbo hissed at Thorin._

" _They were going to touch you," Thorin scowled, like that was all the explanation he needed._

" _Yes," Bilbo scowled right back, "that's generally how people teach weaponry."_

" _How would you know? You've never learned any weapon besides the bow." Thorin spat out the word bow as though it was a foul word._

" _First of all," Bilbo hissed. "You don't even know me. Just because I choose not to use my weapons, doesn't mean I don't know how to. My father has trained me well. And second of all, you have no right to demand that people don't touch me."_

" _I am your intended," Thorin replied angrily._

" _And you have Rejected me," Bilbo's response was immediate. He had been trying to avoid the topic of Rejection, but his anger at Thorin made him bring it up nonetheless. "So I'm going to go back to my lessons where Elladan and Elrohir will teach me how to use the bow whether they have to touch me or not and you are either going to go somewhere else or sit there and not interfere with my business." He walked around Thorin, making sure not to touch the other, and faced the elves. "Now where were we?" he asked as he took up his position once more._

_The twins looked over to Thorin, but he only scowled at them before turning and stomping out of the garden._

* * *

Even before the elves betrayed them, Thorin seemed to have a natural dislike of them that Bilbo would never understand. After the betrayal, Bilbo seemed to be the only one who still liked them, even if he absolutely despised King Thranduil.

"I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no?" Dwalin calls out and Bofur immediately responds with a "Follow it of course!"

"I think that would be wise," Gandalf muttered. Bilbo couldn't help but feel that Gandalf was up to something.


	9. Speaking Elvish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's always loved learning new languages and Sindarin is one that he made sure to learn in both his lives. The same is not true for the dwarves.

And planning something he was, because right now the company was looking at "The Valley of Imladris," Gandalf explained. "In the common tongue it's known by another name."

"Rivendell." Thorin was not going to be happy about this, though Bilbo felt himself excited to be here again. He missed this beautiful place ever since he left it, but he still liked Erebor better. Still, had he had the chance to visit Rivendell again he would have.

Thorin started arguing with Gandalf about enemies, but Bilbo stopped listening. He just wanted to actually get to Rivendell. He might have headed that way without his company, had he known the way, but as it was he didn't even know the passage existed let alone the way into Rivendell from it.

"The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself." Gandalf's words caught Bilbo's attention even though he continued to marvel at the beautiful sight. He couldn't help but to think about how true they were, but Thorin was always the one that was bringing ill will wherever he went. You could hardly make him stop for the simple fact that it was his personality to act that way around anyone that he didn't trust. As evident by the way he had been treating Bilbo who was in his own company.

Gandalf does eventually convince Thorin, not that they had much other choice, and then he lead the way down the path, which Bilbo probably could have followed on his own, until they reached a circular greeting area. It was even more beautiful than Bilbo remembered it being. The dwarves, of course, didn't think so, but Bilbo ignored their glowering faces in favor of taking in the scenery. He did, however, see Ori looking rather interestedly around him. At least there was one dwarf who still didn't carry ill will towards the elf. It was probably because he was young. Bilbo might have expected Fili and Kili to be similarly unaffected by the past, since they were even younger than Ori, but he held no hope for that because they were Thorin Oakenshield's nephews.

An elf came to meet them, Bilbo thought he remembered his name being Lindir but he hadn't really interacted with that elf in his past life, and welcomed Gandalf. And then he proceeded to tell them that Lord Elrond wasn't there. That was a shame. Bilbo would have liked to speak with the man again. He hadn't really talked to him much in his past life, but he knew that Lord Elrond was a good elf. That was enough to warrant a desire to speak to someone of his past if ever there was one.

Perhaps there was a possibility of speaking to him after all, Bilbo realized, as the elves' horns signaled their return. On big horses. Bilbo didn't remember those horses being so big last time he was here, but then again he was bigger himself. And a lot stronger.

Bilbo expected for the dwarves to do something stupid like closing ranks, it was expected as creatures bigger than them came charging towards them, but he really wasn't expecting to be pulled into the center of the group with Fili and Kili. Shouldn't that have been Thorin's place? But stubborn Thorin always had to be on the front line. Luckily, he was still tall enough to see Lord Elrond over the dwarves' shoulders as he conversed with Gandalf. The elf hadn't changed, though Bilbo shouldn't have really expected much else.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain," Elrond said as Thorin stepped forward.

"I do not believe we have met," Thorin replied and Bilbo had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Did Thorin really have to let his pride get in the way of common courtesy by pretending not to remember the elf? Honestly, it hadn't been long enough for Thorin to forget their time in Rivendell.

"You have your grandfather's bearing," Elrond said. "I knew Thror when he ruled under the mountain." As well as Thorin no matter how hard Thorin tried to pretend otherwise.

Then he goes and insults the elf. If Bilbo had been Haran, he would have been telling Thorin off by now. He might have even hit him, if his words didn't get through that thick skull, but Thorin did not know him in this life well enough to allow that, so he was forced to stand there and watch his king make a full of himself by pretending not to know an elf.

Especially when Lord Elrond responds with an offer to bring them to dinner. Bilbo really wanted to apologize to the Lord, in elven tongue so the dwarves wouldn't know what he was saying, but he highly doubted the dwarves would like him any more if he revealed he had that knowledge. Thorin certainly wasn't happy when he found out the first time.

* * *

"You really are improving," _the twins said in their elven tongues. They had reverted to their own language when they learned that Bilbo knew how to speak it and had continued to do so no matter what they were doing._ "You're already almost an expert."

" _Are you offering us insult?" Thorin growled. It was the first time he had joined them since the first fiasco where he tried to get in Bilbo's way. Bilbo really wished he had continued to stay away so he would stop making a fool of himself._

" _No, Prince Thorin, they were offering a compliment to my skills with a bow," Bilbo sighed._

" _How do you know that?" Thorin bristled._

" _I speak Sindarin," Bilbo shrugged. He liked books and he wanted to be able to read anything no matter what language it was in so he learned the only good language that he didn't know. He would never even attempt to learn orc language, of course, but there were no books in that language so it didn't matter. It was rather difficult to teach himself the language, but he had found some books on it in Dale and had used others that were written both in Sindarin and Westron to improve further. There were still a few things that he didn't quite get right, but the twins were fixing that at the same time they were fixing his archery techniques._

" _Why?" Thorin growled._

" _Because I wanted to learn," Bilbo replied._

"Is it illegal to learn Sindarin in your culture?"  _the elves asked._

"No,"  _Bilbo shook his head,_ "It's just not something that's usually done for anyone who is not of the Durin line."  _And the only reason that the Durin line did it was because it was only respectful to be able to converse with those that you were having meetings with. The royal elves might have learned their language as well, if the dwarves didn't always keep it so secret._

" _Speak words we can all understand," Thorin growled. Bilbo couldn't help but think that the only thing Thorin needed to complete his look of a spoiled child was for him to stomp his foot. Of course, Thorin would never do something so undignified._

" _They were asking why you're so angry about something that I chose to learn," Bilbo answered. "Aren't you supposed to learn it too at some point in the future?" Actually, Bilbo was pretty sure that Thorin had already started his lessons, though he was still in the basics, but was having a tough time getting even that down. Bilbo would offer his services on the matter if he thought Thorin would actually accept them._

" _Only because it is tradition," Thorin glowered. Bilbo had no doubt about that statement, but only because he knew Thorin was having trouble with the language._

" _Why don't you start learning now?" the twins asked with mischievous grins on their faces. Bilbo had to hold back his own grin. He had learn through the short amount of time that he had been with the twins that they were troublemakers, and they had obviously picked up on Thorin's resentment towards the language that he couldn't learn. Bilbo, however, wouldn't let them make fun of his intended._

" _There's a proper order to these things," he shook his head at the twins. "_ Prince  _Thorin," he put emphasis on the prince so maybe the twins might show a little respect towards his intended, "will learn Sindarin when his teachers deem it the right time and not before or it might corrupt the knowledge that he's learning now." Not likely, but a good excuse nonetheless. And also one that Thorin would hopefully not take as a challenge to prove him wrong._

_The twins eyes glimmered with the intent to push Thorin, but Bilbo distracted them by letting loose another arrow and Thorin stalked off immediately afterwards._

* * *

" _Why did you learn that language?" Thorin glowered when they saw each other later that day. They were alone as they had been a couple of times while they were there. Bilbo had the sneaking suspicion that King Thror was trying to force them together so that Thorin would accept his intended, but he wouldn't bring it up because he wanted the same thing even though he had little hope for it._

_As luck would have it, they happened to be in the library, so Bilbo picked a book carefully out of the large collection and put it down on the table in front of Thorin. It was actually one that he had just finished reading in the free time that he had there. He liked to spend any time that wasn't used practicing archery, to read since there weren't very many Sindarin books where he lived no matter how hard he looked for them. "This book has never been translated into anything other than Sindarin."_

" _So?" Thorin raised a brow._

" _I just finished reading it," Bilbo replied, "and I enjoyed it very much."_

" _Why would you want to read something written by those tree-huggers?" Thorin glared at the book before him, so Bilbo took it and replaced it just in case Thorin thought to do something to harm it._

" _Why are you so against them?" Bilbo asked. "They have done nothing to you."_

" _You've never had to deal with them until now," Thorin pointed out with a growl. "Those stuck up bastards don't deserve anything from me."_

" _I haven't," Bilbo agreed, "but imagine how you look to them right now."_

" _What do you mean," Thorin snarled._

" _By the way you're acting, you seem more like a spoiled child than a proud prince to me and I actually know you as my prince. I'm rather sure the twins had no clue you were the prince until I mentioned it earlier today."_

" _How dare you!"_

" _Honestly. You threw a fit because I could speak to the elves in their own language. Just because you have trouble grasping the language, doesn't mean you should take it out on those who don't."_

" _You knew?" Thorin's eyes widened._

" _Of course I knew," Bilbo replied. "You recognized some of the words, though you couldn't put them together in a sentence. From what I saw, you are only just learning the basics of Sindarin."_

" _That is none of your concern."_

" _Of course it's not, but if you should need any help in the future, I will be happy to help you."_

" _I don't need your help," Thorin growled before stomping out of the room._

" _Of course you don't," Bilbo sighed. He would have loved for Thorin to swallow his pride for just long enough to accept help from his intended, but the prince was still so against him that there was no chance of that. Bilbo was already losing all hope that the prince would ever accept him despite his grandfather's attempts at getting them together._

* * *

It looked like the dwarves' Sindarin was still severely lacking as Gloin, who was an accountant and probably should have known at least a little of the language, asked if Lord Elrond was offering them insult. Really, what was it with the dwarves and assuming that elves were always insulting them? It was usually the other way around.

Gandalf quickly fixed there blunder; luckily as it would have been very rude to not accept due to such a misunderstanding, and the group was lead inside where they would be fed.


	10. Important Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meetings need to be handled with tact, and respect, and no small degree of charm, which is why Balin and Bilbo always join Thorin for his.

Or maybe it would have been so much better for them not to eat at the elves' table. None of these dwarves seemed to have any sort of manners. They could do nothing but complain about the generosity of the elves. Bilbo actually quite liked the food and the music that they were offered, but the rest of the dwarves were so put out by it that Bofur actually climbed up onto something that looked like it might be sacred and started singing a tune that was better suited for a tavern. Honestly, they wouldn't act like this if they were at their own king's table.

Bilbo was only all too glad when the meal was finally over and the dwarves separated so that most of them could make camp while Thorin and Balin went to have a conference with Lord Elrond. For a moment Bilbo wondered which group he should follow, but then Gandalf motioned for him to come with them and he was only all too glad to follow. Even if he didn't speak, he had always joined Thorin in his meetings.

* * *

" _I have a meeting today, love," Thorin woke him with a kiss that morning. He didn't have to go to very many meetings as he was still the third in line to the thrown, but King Thror thought the best way to get him ready for his own throne was to have him practice early. Not to mention the fact that it got a lot more meetings done a lot quicker._

" _I'll get dressed," Bilbo yawned even as he turned to bury his face back in the pillows. He had never been explicitly told to join Thorin in any of his meetings, but he enjoyed them anyway and had gone to every one that he was able to after Thorin had accepted him._

" _You don't have to come today, if you're so tired," Thorin laughed. "Why don't you sleep and I'll be back by lunch?"_

" _I'm getting up," Bilbo mumbled as he pushed himself up in his bed. He was never really a morning person. He would much rather stay up at night reading a good book next to the fire than wake up at the crack of dawn. Thorin was a night person too, he knew, but he was much better at pulling himself out of bed when he was supposed._

_Thorin gave Bilbo an amused smile as he kissed away the tired look on Bilbo's face. It was always the best way to wake up, Bilbo smiled, and it was worth having trouble waking up in the morning if Thorin always woke him up like that. "I'll have to redo your hair before we go." Thorin grabbed one of his braids and it almost immediately fell apart. Bilbo always did have the worst bed head and it continually ruined his hair, but it also continually made Thorin spend time to redo them. Not that either of them really cared. It gave them an excuse to be a little lazy every morning._

" _You already did your hair," Bilbo pouted._

" _Yea," Thorin nodded, "the meeting today is a little earlier than we are used to. We wouldn't have time to do both of our hair. You can redo mine tomorrow." Thorin's hair was different from Bilbo's in the sense that it kept its braids a lot longer than his did. The only reason they redid Thorin's braids as often as they did was because Bilbo enjoyed doing it._

* * *

_By the time Thorin had finished Bilbo's hair and the two of them had gotten dressed in their royal garbs, it was almost an hour later, but they were still early so the two of them went to the kitchens where the cooks made them something to eat._

_Thorin's clothes weren't much different from what he normally wore. He had on a purple shirt, as opposed to the blue ones that he normally favored, because it was the color of royalty, but he wore his normal breaches and boots. The fur coat that he wore was a little more extravagant and a lot less worn than the one he wore on a regular basis and it was clasped together with a large gold necklace adorned with several jewels. And, of course, his sword was resting on his hip so that he would never lose his appearance of being a warrior._

_The main difference, however, was the crown atop his head. He almost never wore that crown, even for royal events where he wore the rest of his clothes because all his people knew he was royalty and there was no need for anyone other than the king to wear a crown. It was a relatively plain crown, of course, as it couldn't be more extravagant than either his father's or his grandfather's crowns, but it fit him._

_Bilbo on the other hand, was dressed in the best clothing and several things of jewelry. Both of which he would never wear at any time it wasn't necessary. He had quickly found out that royalty liked to show off their wealth by how well their mate looked because they couldn't weigh themselves down when they had to be ready to head into battle at any time. He didn't mind much. The only things that had bothered him at first was the weight and how cumbersome it all was since he was also a warrior, but he had quickly gotten over it when he found several places to hide his knives._

_Bilbo's actual clothes were actually that extravagant. He wore an outfit very similar to Thorin's, though his fur coat wasn't nearly as big as the other's. The wealth was shown in all the jewelry that he wore. He had both lose and tight bracelets scattered over his clothing on the lengths of both arms. There was a ring on every finger, though most were all very small as Bilbo refused to render his hands useless with the cumbersome things. The only one that he allowed to have a large jewel adorned on it was the ring that sat on his left ring finger. It was also the only ring that he would never take off. There were also a few necklaces of different lengths on his neck, but not too much to look gaudy. The one good thing about Thorin's tastes was that he never allowed the gold to be so overpowering. He always stopped right on the edge of being too much, but he never continued past it so Bilbo always looked perfect. As the hobbit that he was now, he would be swimming in it all, but his_ _dwarvish form was much bigger and so it fit him nicely._

_Bilbo's crown, which was more like a circlet than anything, was a weave of gold that wrapped around his head and connected at a beautiful white jewel that dipped a bit lower on his forehead. The real extravagance, however, was in Bilbo's hair. His long brown hair was beautifully weaved in braids that showed off both what he had achieved in his life and made him much more attractive in the dwarven culture. His hair was the only thing other than his ring that he wore that extravagantly at all times. Thorin liked doing his hair and it was always different. Though there were braids that he always wore, the ones that showed what he had achieved, the actual style and number of the braids always changed depending on Thorin's mood for that day. He never had the same hairdo twice in one month and only the ones that the both of them really liked were ever repeated. This particular design, which was a little more complicated than Thorin usually did, was a slight variation of one that he had worn the month before and the only reason it was the same was because they had to be on time for the meeting. Each braid was adorned with Thorin's hand crafted beads with different designs on them. Very few of them actually had jewels in them, but that was how Bilbo liked it._

" _You look lovely today," one of the cooks complimented Bilbo as he set their food before them. There was a time that Thorin would have scowled at the other, but when he realized that Bilbo liked the praise, he stopped being so overtly jealous around his own kind. Any other race still couldn't compliment him without Thorin sending them a dirty look, but that was because most of them didn't know that Bilbo was Thorin's consort and were actually checking him out. Sometimes even in a disrespectful way. Bilbo liked to try to stay out of the public eye as much as possible, so even some of his own race didn't know that he was married to Thorin, but that was exactly how he liked it. He would join Thorin in his kingly duties, but there was no way that he was going to flaunt his luck of being the soul mate of a royal. He actually rather liked being a commoner, thank you very much._

" _Thank you," Bilbo replied and the cook took a quick bow before heading back to the kitchens to work on breakfast for anyone else who should come asking for it._

* * *

" _Balin is to meet us at the conference room," Thorin said once they had finished their meal._

" _Oh thank goodness," Bilbo smiled. "Negotiations always seem to go better with him there."_

" _Are you saying that I can't negotiate?" Thorin pretended to look affronted. They both knew that the both of them were actually very good negotiators, but Balin was older and often gave off the kind uncle that everyone could trust when things got heated._

" _You're absolutely horrible," Bilbo sighed sarcastically. "I honestly don't know how we ever manage to get a good deal when you're the one in charge of negotiations."_

" _Hey!" Thorin growled._

" _Don't worry love," Bilbo smiled and paused in his walking just long enough to lean up and give Thorin a kiss on the cheek. "You'll do fine this time…Since Balin's going to be there."_

" _Aye," Balin said from where he stood outside the door to the conference room. "I'll make sure the both of you stay on track."_

_Bilbo grinned at Balin while Thorin rolled his eyes before the two of them readied schooled their expressions into that of the regal dwarves that they were. First impressions were always very important during a meeting. They didn't want the other party to think that they weren't being serious._

* * *

Bilbo doesn't even remember what that meeting was about. He doesn't even remember whom the meeting was with, but he didn't really care at this point. He was supposed to be paying attention as Lord Elrond read the ancient dwarvish on the map. Bilbo envied the elf for his skill. Ancient Dwarvish was the only language of the people of middle earth that Bilbo never learned to read and that was because it was already a dead language in his own culture. He could probably have asked one of the elves to teach him, but he was already learning the bow from them and he didn't want to inconvenience them anymore.

Apparently, even if he could read the runes, he still wouldn't have known what the important part said because it was written in moon runes. Bilbo had heard of that before as he was reading books, but he never understood how or why anybody used it. Now he was starting to get an inkling of why since the only time he had ever seen it done was on a map that told of a secret way into the mountain. They wouldn't want that to get into the wrong hands, even if they couldn't read ancient dwarvish.

Lord Elrond led them to the edge of a cliff where he read what was written and effectively gave them a time line. "Durin's day?" Bilbo asked. That meant they were quickly running out of time. As Gandalf, who misunderstood Bilbo's question, explained, Durin's day was the last day of autumn and Thorin only solidified their necessity for haste when he reminded them all that they were already well through the summer. They still had a long way to go too.

"We still have time," Balin pointed out and, though Bilbo never thought he would say this about Balin, it was the stupidest thing that could have been said. They were trying to keep their quest a secret from the elves. They were already suspicious enough without these mistimed words.

"Time?" Bilbo asked, hoping that Balin would get the hint and change the subject to something else. "For what?" Bilbo's hope was ill placed. The dwarves were much too excited to be worried about what they were giving away.

"To find the entrance." Still, Bilbo never thought he would see Balin make such a slip during a meeting where the information that was supposed to be held back was just as important as the information what was shared.


	11. Lord Elrond Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo was just exploring Rivendell and his memories when Lord Elrond joins him. He honestly wasn't expecting the conversation that followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to let you know that I have the extended edition of the first hobbit movie so some of the scenes such as the one in this chapter are from that. I'll try to be more detailed when those scenes come up for those of you who haven't seen the extended edition and I'm sorry if I accidentally overlook one. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Rivendell. It was nice to be able to see them once again. He had always loved the pictures of them as a hobbitling and, as his memories returned, he now realized it was because he thought they were beautiful as a dwarf. He loved to explore the place all the time when he came to visit.

* * *

"Off to explore again?"  _the twins asked in their elvish tongues._

_Bilbo nodded. "Today is our last day," he said. He couldn't really be bothered to speak elvish at the moment. Especially not when Thorin was in the vicinity. He had finally convinced the other to join him on a walk around Rivendell and he wasn't going to ruin it by making Thorin think that he was insulting him in a tongue he didn't understand. There was nothing he could do about the twins, of course, but Thorin could at least tell what their conversation was about by Bilbo's side. "I want to take in as much as I can before we have to leave tomorrow at dawn."_

"Do not get lost,"  _the twins winked playfully. They knew that Bilbo didn't need any sort of directions, hadn't since they first showed him around, but they always teased him anyway. Dwarves did have a hard time above ground, but that didn't mean that they always got lost. "If we do not see you again before you leave," the twins spoke in the common tongue now, "we wish you both well."_

" _And I you," Bilbo nodded at them. He thought about elbowing Thorin in order to make him return the sentiment to them, but he didn't really think that would go over well. It would also lessen the twins' respect for Thorin and he would not be the cause of that. Besides, it didn't seem to be necessary as Bilbo turned to find Thorin bowing respectfully at Lord Elrond's sons._

" _So where do you want to go first?" Bilbo asked once the two of them were alone. He was a little too excited, this was the first time that he was actually going to be able to spend time with his soul mate despite the Rejection, but he thought it was justified. He just had to make sure that he never touched Thorin during the whole thing._

" _I don't care," Thorin said gruffly. "You're the one who's dragging me around."_

_Bilbo frowned. He knew that King Thror had made Thorin join him today, but he didn't want the other to be in a horrible mood the whole time they were exploring. He kind of wanted to pretend that Thorin actually wanted to spend time with him. He would just have to think of something that Thorin would actually enjoy going to see._

_And then he remembered the display for the sword of Narsil. He knew that Thorin didn't much care for the history of anyone other than his own kind, but everyone knew the story of Isildur and he had no doubt that Thorin would enjoy looking at weapons and paintings of a battle. "This way then."_

* * *

_The display wasn't hard to find. The elves paid more respect to it than even the humans did, but the elves also had a better memory. On the walk to the display room, Thorin didn't seem to care at all what Bilbo was telling him about the structures around them. It was starting to make Bilbo feel rather strained, but he didn't want to stop. He wouldn't let Thorin know what pain he was causing him with the Rejection. It was only when they actually reached the room, that Thorin finally seemed to take interest in something._

" _It's Narsil," Bilbo said when Thorin approached the shattered weapon._

_Thorin reached out to touch the weapon, but immediately thought better of it. There was no way that he was going to ruin a relic just from the desire to touch a well-crafted sword. It wasn't the first well-crafted sword he had seen, but it was the only one that had cut Sauron's finger clean off his hand._

" _They have paintings of the battle too," Bilbo pointed out. The main one, of course, was the one that depicted the moment before Isildur cut the finger off his enemy, but there were others scattered around the room as well of different, more minor, heroes who fought particularly well during the battle._

" _Why did you bring me here?" Thorin asked without looking up from his examination of the destroyed weapon._

" _I thought that you might like it," Bilbo shrugged. He was beginning to doubt his choice, though. Thorin didn't seem to be in a better mood at all. He actually seemed to be even more upset, though Bilbo had no clue why._

" _You're right," Thorin nodded. That just confused Bilbo. How could he be right about Thorin liking something like this and yet still have upset the other? No matter how much he tried, he still couldn't understand his soul mate._

" _Let's go somewhere else," Bilbo tried. "Maybe you'll find something else that you like." But he highly doubted it. The elves held almost no interest to Thorin. Only their weapons ever caught Thorin's eye and there weren't many of those in this place of piece. Bilbo hadn't even found any sort of armory and he had practically explored the entirety of the place._

* * *

_Bilbo took Thorin through the entirety of Rivendell. Over bridges. Near waterfalls. Everything that Thorin had never seen before. Yet, none of it caught Thorin's attention nearly as much as the sword of Narsil had. He almost thought about taking them back to it for that very reason, but changed his mind at the last moment and took them to a veranda that overlooked much of what they had just travelled through. The air was nice there and it calmed him, but only slightly. Even he had no clue that this whole trip could hurt him so much._

" _Are we done?" Thorin asked gruffly._

" _Yes," Bilbo sighed. "I'm sorry it wasn't as interesting for you as I'd hoped it would be."_

" _I don't care for these elvish trinkets," Thorin replied. The sound actually shocked Bilbo. He had expected Thorin to be on his way the moment Bilbo told him they were done. Bilbo nodded, nonetheless, though. There was nothing else for him to say. He had tried to strike up a conversation while they walked together and it still wasn't enough, so now he just stood looking out over Rivendell. Thorin, surprisingly, stood with him for some time before he finally excused himself to go and meet with his grandfather._

_Bilbo sighed in relief when he was left alone, which he hated because he really wanted to spend more time with Thorin. Maybe there was still a chance he could make Thorin love him if he got enough time to spend with the other, but every moment spent with Thorin was more painful to him than he would have thought possible._

_He would tough it up, though. There was no way that he was going to give up on his soul mate._

* * *

Bilbo followed the same route that he had taken Thorin on. He started with the display room for the sword of Narsil, but he found that it held even less interest to him then it had when he saw it as a dwarf. The only thing that he saw in it now was that for some reason it had made Thorin upset. That was enough to dislike it despite it being a sword from the history books that Bilbo had always loved so much.

Then Bilbo moved over bridges and near waterfalls. The walk, Bilbo realized somewhat belatedly, was much better when he wasn't thinking about how Thorin would react to every little thing. Bilbo saw birds flying now, when before he only heard them when he looked for something that Thorin might be interested in. He was able to stop and take in the scenery instead of continually moving so that Thorin wouldn't get bored. He would have very much liked to take Thorin on this tour after he had accepted him. He knew the two of them would have enjoyed it together, though Thorin would have been a bit bored. But he had never gotten the chance.

Finally, Bilbo came to the veranda that looked over all of Rivendell. It was just as beautiful as the last time he had seen it and the breeze was just as calming. He really needed this moment of peace.

Suddenly, he heard someone come up behind him and for one stupid moment he thought it might be Thorin, but the footsteps were too light for that to be the case.

"Not with your companions?" Lord Elrond asked as he came to stand beside him.

It took a moment for Bilbo to regain his bearings. Just the thought of Thorin finding him there had him somewhat at a loss. "I shan't be missed," he said finally. "The truth is that most of them don't think I should be…on this journey." Bilbo's voice caught for a short second. He knew that the other dwarves didn't exactly accept him, how could they when they thought that he was just some hobbit that Gandalf had forced on them, but admitting it out loud did hurt somewhat.

"Indeed," Lord Elrond replied. "I've heard that Hobbits are very resilient."

Bilbo couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him, but then he looked over to the other and saw that he was actually being serious. Who in their company would actually say something like that to an elf? Besides Gandalf. Actually, Gandalf was the only one, but it was still kind of hard to believe that any of them had gone out of their way to compliment him. "Really?"

Lord Elrond nodded slightly before he continued. "I've also heard that they are fond of the comforts of home," he raised his brows.

Bilbo thought turnabout was only fair play so he responded with, "I've heard that it is unwise to seek the council of elves, for they will answer both yes and no." He almost regretted saying that, though, when Lord Elrond didn't immediately respond, but then a small grin hit his face and Bilbo knew that he hadn't offended the other.

"You are very welcome to stay here," Lord Elrond said after a moment, "if that is your wish, but I don't think that you will."

"Excuse me?" Bilbo asked.

"You are heading home are you not?" Lord Elrond asked.

"No," Bilbo shook his head. "I intend to accompany the dwarves to the Lonely Mountain."

"Is that not your home?" Bilbo was at a loss for words at this. How in the world did Lord Elrond know about that? Perhaps it was just a fluke or something that the elf thought might come to pass in the future. "We live for many years," Lord Elrond continued with a different subject, "but our soul mates don't. We know how to recognize someone who remembers a past life."

"Oh," Bilbo looked down at his hands. He probably should have realized that. "Please don't tell them. I don't want them to look at me differently."

"I won't," Lord Elrond shook his head, "but you should. It is unfair to you that you should have to bare this alone."

"I don't want them to look at me differently," Bilbo repeated. "I want to be worthy of their Haran before I tell them."

"There is something that you must know about past lives," Lord Elrond said. "No matter how hard you try, you cannot be the person you once were. It is best for you to remain as the person you are."

"They don't even like the person I am now," Bilbo shook his head.

"You will see before the end," Lord Elrond promised. "I wish you well, Bilbo Baggins."

"Thank you," Bilbo bowed politely as Lord Elrond left him to himself.


	12. A Strain of Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo honestly hadn't meant to overhear Elrond's conversation with Gandalf, but the elf wasn't exactly wrong.

The dwarves were cooking some food when Bilbo returned, including meat that he wasn't even sure where they got it, but he wasn't interested. He was just fine with the food that the elves had given them in their hospitality. He had always been despite the rest of his dwarven companions on both of his trips being so averse to it. It's not like they didn't eat plants all the time while they were journeying, they just cooked it slightly differently.

Instead of joining the rowdy group, Bilbo headed up the stairs towards the guest room that the elves had given them to share. The dwarves, of course, had refused and slept in their bedrolls at the bottom of the stairs so Bilbo got the room to himself, but he wasn't really complaining about it. Sometimes it was nice to get away from all of their boisterousness. He was still a hobbit, after all, and hobbits loved peace and quiet.

Bilbo stopped on his way, though, when he heard Gandalf's voice echoing from a walkway nearby. "Of course I was going to tell you," he was saying. "I was merely waiting for there to be a chance. And, really, I think you can trust that I know what I'm doing."

Bilbo thought it was best not to listen in on the conversation and he started to turn in order to head to the room, but he was caught by Lord Elrond's response. "Do you? That dragon has slept for sixty years. What will happen if your plan should fail? If you wake the beast?" That was a good point. Bilbo unconsciously moved a bit closer so that he could hear their conversation a little better.

"But if we succeed," Gandalf replied. "If the dwarves take back the mountain, our defenses in the east will be strengthened." Of course Gandalf had ulterior motives for helping them, but to hear them from his own lips was almost discomforting. It made Bilbo doubt, even if only a bit, that Gandalf was truly in this for the dwarves. He still trusted Gandalf, of course. He had every faith that the wizard would not let them down.

"It is a dangerous move, Gandalf."

"It is also dangerous to do nothing. Oh come on. The throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright." Bilbo suddenly felt that he was no longer alone and he turned to fine the very dwarf that they were speaking of standing behind him, listening to the conversation as well. He didn't look affected by anything they were saying, which was probably good. "What is it you fear?"

"Have you forgotten?" Elrond almost hissed, pulling Bilbo's attention back to him. "A strain of madness runs deep in that family." Okay, Bilbo really shouldn't be hearing this even if he already knew all about it. He tried to turn away again, but that didn't stop him from continuing to hear what Lord Elrond was saying. "His grandfather lost his mind. His father succumbed to the same sickness. Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall?" Bilbo wished that he could swear for Thorin Oakenshield, but he had seen the sickness in King Thror.

* * *

" _There is something wrong with the king," Bilbo said once the two of them were alone in their room. He needed to say these words, but he would not disrespect the king by saying them where they could be overheard by anyone._

" _What are you talking about?" Thorin asked as he began to undress out of all of his royal clothing. They had earlier had a meeting with the elves that Thorin had to be present at. A meeting that had not gone well at all._

" _Didn't you see him during the meeting?" Bilbo asked. There was no way that he was going to let Thorin get away with ignoring the strange way the king was acting. "He was much too pleased when we denied the elves their payment."_

" _They stole from us," Thorin pointed out._

" _I'm not arguing that point," for the simple reason that he wasn't sure that he really believed it to be anything more than a ruse cooked up by the warping mind of a respected king. "I am talking about the look on his face when we kept the jewels. That's not even talking about the growing treasury of the royal line."_

" _We are just getting more money coming in."_

" _And we should be using that money to help the people in anyway that we can no matter how small it is. What use do we have for such a horde? We're going to bring horrible things to our doorstep."_

" _What do you want me to do about it?" Thorin asked frustratedly._

" _I want you to stop making yourself blind to your grandfather's Gold Lust," Bilbo burst out, but then he immediately sat down and buried his head in his hands. He hadn't meant to yell._

_Thorin immediately wrapped Bilbo in his arms with a worried look on his face. "What's really bothering you? I understand what you're saying about my grandfather, but that can't be the only thing that is worrying you."_

" _I think it's the Arkenstone," Bilbo sighed. "Ever since that_ thing  _has been found, our king has started to act strangely."_

" _That is the King's Jewel, Haran," Thorin said. His voice was soothing, but his words were not. "I'm sure you are mistaken."_

" _I am not mistaken," Bilbo broke free from Thorin's arms immediately and began to pace through their room. He would not allow himself to be comforted until he got his point across. "And, if you do not see that, then you will fall to the same sickness. I don't want to see that happen."_

" _I won't fall to Gold Lust, my One," Thorin said._

" _You might not have a choice with that_ thing  _on your throne."_

" _I promise you that I will not fall to Gold Lust," Thorin shook his head. "I promise."_

" _I don't believe you," Bilbo shook his head. "You might not have a choice."_

" _I promise," Thorin said again. "With you by my side, I will never need any sort of jewel or gold anyway." Thorin stepped forward and caught Bilbo in his arms once more. "I promise."_

* * *

Thorin had been so earnest when he had made that promise, and yet, Bilbo still had a hard time believing it. He would have been much happier if the Arkenstone would just disappear.

"Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with you alone. It is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle Earth."

That's was the last thing that Bilbo heard as he completely turned away at that point. He would not listen to this conversation anymore. He really shouldn't have been listening in the first place, really, but he couldn't really help it. He was half Took.

When he turned, he found Thorin facing away with his head bowed. "Are you okay Thorin?" Bilbo asked.

"I'm fine," Thorin shook himself.

"What were they talking about?" Bilbo only asked because he wanted it to seem that he didn't already know, but he immediately regretted it when Thorin glared angrily at him.

"It's nothing," Thorin growled. "Forget it."

Bilbo nodded. He really didn't really want to hear it anyway. He already knew the answers to any questions that he might have asked if he didn't know.

"Pack your things," Thorin continued. "We're going to head out."

"I haven't unpacked," Bilbo pointed out. That was the good thing about accepting the hospitality of others: Bilbo didn't have to unpack any of his things to live comfortably when the dwarves had to unpack almost everything. That had been one of his reasons for trying to get the dwarves to sleep in the offered guest room, but they had refused adamantly despite his efforts. Now he was ready to go even though they were not and he would have to wait for them.

Thorin looked disdainfully over at him, but didn't saying anything as he walked down to give the same command to his kin. Bilbo simply went up to the guest room to grab his things. He could still get his time alone while he waited for the others to pack their things at least. Maybe he could remember something good while he waited.

* * *

" _There's two little dwarflings around here somewhere," Bilbo said playfully. In fact, he already knew where they were, but he didn't want to ruin their game of hide and seek by finding them too quickly. It was a bit hard to avoid finding them, though. There was only one place that the two of them could hide together in this room and Fili and Kili were never separated. Instead of finding them under the table, though, Bilbo searched in the oddest places where not even Kili, who was still very small compared to the other dwarf children, could fit. He could hear muffled giggles coming from the table, but he pretended not to so that he it wouldn't "lead" him to their hiding place._

_It was for that reason that he was not expecting it when two warm and very familiar arms came around him and lips kissed his uninjured cheek. He was so surprised by it that he almost pulled his sword on his own soul mate. Luckily, Thorin had known it would happen and so had gone for the sword just before Bilbo did. "It's alright, my One," he said. "Dis and I are back."_

" _Don't sneak up on me like that," Bilbo shook his head as he turned to face Thorin. Both Thorin and Dis had gone out for a hunt while Bilbo stayed to protect the children and he took that job very seriously. He even kept the sword, which usually rested at his home, strapped to his side when they were in his charge. "I'm already have children in my care."_

" _I'm sorry," Thorin laughed, looking not at all sorry._

" _Speaking of my sons," Dis said with a raised brow, "where are they?" She knew where they were, Bilbo could tell. There hiding spot wasn't actually that hidden at all, but it seems she wished to play along with the game as well._

" _I'm afraid they disappeared on me," Bilbo sighed over-exaggeratedly. "I'm just not a good enough seeker."_

" _Oh dear," Dis gasped, though she was having a very hard time keeping the smirk on her face in check._

" _Perhaps we should just have dinner without them," Thorin suggested, "and we even got the best meats for dinner."_

" _No!" Fili gasped as both he and Kili scrambled out from their hiding places. That was a bad move, since Thorin immediately scooped them both up._

" _Gotcha," he growled playfully as he tickled the two of them._

" _I hope the two of you were good for your uncle," Dis said._

" _Yes ma'am," Fili said immediately and Bilbo nodded to confirm it._

" _Then we will have to award you for being so good," Dis said. "I'll make something sweet to eat after dinner." The two young ones cheered immediately and Dis set about doing just that._

* * *

Those had been better days, Bilbo believed, more so than even the time in Erebor because there was nothing that could possibly tempt his soul mate away from him. It wasn't that he didn't want to return to Erebor, it was their home, but he just found that most of his happiest memories were actually in the Blue Mountains with his family together. He couldn't wait to make those same types of memories when they returned to Erebor.

"We're leaving." Bilbo's head shot up to find Thorin glaring at him through the doorway and he sighed before grabbing his things and following his king out of Rivendell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted let you guys know that the conversation with Lord Elrond and Gandalf is in the extended edition of the movie, but the conversation with Bilbo and Thorin afterwards is not.
> 
> I also wanted to say that I thought this chapter was a bit short so I added an extra little memory in, but if you don't like that or if it confused you in anyway, please let me know and I will try to refrain from doing it in the future.
> 
> Thank you all for reading. I love you all.


	13. Reunions in the Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo had certainly not meant to trip into Bofur, but now that he had caused one Reunion he was certainly not going to forgo helping another along.

It was a full two days before anything eventful happened again and it wasn't even anything that big. It was simply that Bilbo happened to trip when they were traversing an extra rock area and had bumped right into Bofur who fell right on top of Nori. There was a gasp and then a moment of silence as Bilbo scrambled to his feet and everyone stared at the two who stared at each other with wide eyes. It was obvious what had happened, the two of them had felt the Reunion, but what was less obvious was what was going to happen next.

Bofur had very obviously been desperately searching for his soul mate for some time now. He continually searched out people to touch no matter where they were. He had even offered his hand to several of the elves despite the dwarves' clear dislike of them. The elves had been kind enough to offer their hands even though they knew that he wasn't one of theirs since he had no previous memory of them. Apparently, a person regaining their memory of their past lives was a well kept secret for the elves and only they and their soul mates ever knew. Bilbo, of course, was one of the very rare exceptions.

Nori, on the other hand, had been just as equally avoiding touching anyone. If anyone came anywhere near touching him, he was quick to slip out of their grasp. Bofur had tried to touch him some time ago, but no matter how many times he tried, Nori always escaped him. Whenever this happened, Bofur always seemed to have even more of a dejected look then when he touched anyone else and found that they weren't his soul mate. Perhaps they should have figured it out from that, but it hadn't even crossed their minds. That is, until Bilbo knocked Bofur into Nori and the two finally touched.

Bofur quickly stood and apologized to Nori for falling on him the moment that he got his bearings back together. He might have also walked off to be farthest from Nori as possible, to hopefully avoid the Rejection, but before he could Nori was up and grabbing his hand to pull him in the direction that they were heading. No one said anything as they moved on, but Nori never let go of Bofur's hand and Bofur never lost the very obvious grin on his face.

There was no more talk of soul mates until they stopped for the night and Nori pulled Bofur off to somewhere in the woods. The rest of the dwarves start yelling after them and making obscene jokes that Bilbo, as a hobbit, thought were completely unnecessary. Of course, he didn't have much time to dwell on these things when someone came up to him with a serious look on their face, which was very unnatural for Kili.

"Can I help you with something Kili?" Bilbo asked cautiously. It was very rare that Kili did anything without Fili, but when he did Bilbo knew it had to be very serious.

"I was just wondering if you could tell me about soul mates," Kili mumbled so low that Bilbo had to ask him to repeat it before he understood the question.

"Why do you want to know?" Bilbo asked. Really, Kili was already old enough that someone should have already told him about it.

"Every time I ask the others, they always say that I don't have to worry about it," Kili said as he slumped down next to Bilbo, "but I don't understand why they say that. I feel the Separation just like anyone else."

"You do?" Bilbo's eyes widened. He was honestly not expecting that since he knew that Fili was Kili's soul mate. Something must have happened while he was away.

"Of course I do," Kili sighed. "Why does everyone think that I don't? It doesn't fell like the others say it does, though. They say it just feels like you're empty but it really hurts."

"Oh Kili," Bilbo shook his head sadly. Oh he was going to give Fili a piece of his mind when he was done with this talk. "That's not the Separation you're feeling."

"It's not?" Kili's eyes widened.

"You must promise to listen to everything that I say before you decide any judgments," Bilbo said seriously and Kili nodded almost immediately. "What you're feeling is a type of Rejection."

"Rejection?" Kili asked. "Then my soul mate doesn't want me."

"No," Bilbo shook his head. "You said you would listen to everything. Now hush up and let me finish." Kili nodded once more. "The type of Rejection that you're feeling is called Unconscious Rejection. It's very rare and usually it's brought about by two soul mates meeting when one or both of them are very young. The older of the two thinks that the younger is too young and that it would be best for the older to tell the younger about their bond. After some time of avoiding the subject, the older unconsciously rejects the younger in an attempt to keep their bond a secret."

"But I'm old enough now." Kili pointed out. "Why hasn't my soul mate some forward yet?"

"Perhaps he's scared of what you'll think," Bilbo suggested knowing full well that was probably the reason. "There are more reasons than just age to keep a bond a secret."

"What reasons?" Kili asked eagerly.

"I'm sure you'll find out when your soul mate reveals himself to you," Bilbo replied as he stood. He could see Kili giving him a weird look out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't really want to bother with it right now. He had a bone to pick with a certain nephew.

"What did you and my brother talk about?" Fili asked, making Bilbo jump. He had been wanting to speak to Fili, but he wasn't expecting the other to come to him instead of the other way around. Oh well, Bilbo could still say what he needed.

"We were talking about soul mates," Bilbo replied nonchalantly.

"Why?" Fili asked, glancing over Bilbo's shoulder at his brother.

"He feels the Rejection keenly," Bilbo said as he shook his head sadly. It was an act, but he had to say it was very good when Fili's wide eyes snapped back to him.

"He hasn't been Rejected," he said desperately.

"Not consciously," Bilbo replied with a stern look, "but you didn't really think that keeping your bond a secret as long as you have wouldn't hurt him did you?" Maybe he was taking this a little too far, revealing a little too much of his knowledge, but he only cared about the happiness of his nephews and he would do whatever it takes to make sure that happened.

Fili looked over Bilbo's shoulder once more and then back at him. "He's going to hate me," he mumbled with a dejected look on his face.

"Your brother could never hate you," Bilbo replied sternly. "He will love you no matter what. I have explained to him that what he is feeling was an Unconscious Rejection and he understands that it was never your intention to do so, but it's your job to reveal yourself before this gets out of hand. He's avoided it thus far, but there is still a chance that he will fall into the Sickness even with this weak form of Rejection." Especially when he had fallen into it before they had even met, but Bilbo wouldn't mention that bit of knowledge.

Just the thought of Kili possibly falling into Sickness seemed to strengthen Fili's resolve and he marched right past Bilbo, over to Kili, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Bilbo had to hold back a snigger when he noticed how unpracticed the two of them were, Fili even crashed his nose into Kili's, but he didn't even try to hold back the satisfied smirk when Kili reached up and curled his arms around his brother as the both of them closed their eyes. The rest of the dwarves started up their rude comments once again, but Bilbo stood to the side wondering if Fili would start to act like he did the first time he felt the Reunion.

* * *

_Dis took them immediately to where the rest of the royals were making camp for the night after Fili had his Reunion with Kili. She was eager to introduce her new son to them since she had been in the healer's cart when he was born and the others had yet to meet him, but she was equally as eager to show them that Fili had survived and to tell them about their bond. Bilbo said nothing and stayed away from them. He didn't want to interrupt her banter with her little son who was only letting her carry Kili because there was honestly no way for him to do it himself. More so, though, he didn't know if he would be welcome. Dis had yet to even acknowledge him. That could be because she was so distracted by her children, but Bilbo was haunted by another thought._

_Bilbo did not show himself much in company. Or rather, he did not show off that he was one of the princes of Erebor's husband. He preferred to be equal with the people so he had often been confused as a wealthy commoner even before his injuries, but now that his injuries obscured him so much, no one seemed to recognize him at all. Not even the guards who were meant to protect the royals. Most of them actually tended to stay away from him and he often caught some of the dwarves flinching and grimacing when they saw him. Bilbo didn't want to see the same reaction from his family. From Thorin._

_He knew he was going to have to speak to them eventually, but he wanted to at least witness this happy moment before he ruined it all by revealing himself._

_The moment Thorin saw Dis return with both her nephews, he was upon the three of them in an instant. First he looked at Fili with a close eye to make absolutely certain that the boy was uninjured, which Bilbo might have taken offense to if it hadn't taken them so long to rejoin with Thorin making them feel that he might be dead, then he turned his eye to Dis to make sure that she didn't have any complications with her pregnancy, and finally he looked upon the new arrival with such loving eyes. Dis handed Kili over to Thorin to hold and Fili almost immediately swapped places from clinging to his mother to clinging to Thorin._

" _Can I hold him Uncle Thorin?" Fili asked. "Mama said that I could hold him when we stopped to make camp."_

" _At least let your uncle meet the boy before you get too overprotective of him," Dis said calmly. "You can hold him in a moment."_

" _He's_ my  _soul mate," Fili pouted, crossing his arms and sinking to the floor so that he could also cross his legs._

" _How do you know this?" Thorin asked, though Bilbo could tell that he didn't doubt the little one since he immediately set about putting Fili in a proper position to hold his younger brother._

" _Uncle Haran told me," Fili said distractedly as Kili was placed in his lap and immediately started giggling._

_Bilbo tensed when he heard his dwarven name spoken. He wasn't ready to reveal himself yet, but he knew that he had to by the way that Thorin was looking around for him. It wasn't frantic or desperate, but it was certainly as close as a prince like Thorin could get._

_With one long calming breath, Bilbo stepped forward and into the light where Thorin could see him. The moment Thorin's eyes landed on him, they widened and Bilbo wanted nothing more than to disappear back into the shadows and never come out again, but before he could Thorin was on him._

" _You were hurt," Thorin said, a hand hovering just away from touching the wounds on his face so that he wouldn't agitate them. Bilbo wanted to lean into that hand, but he also didn't want Thorin to have to touch the still healing scars so he forced himself not to. It didn't matter either way because a moment later that hand lowered so that the arm connected to it could wrap around his waist while its twin pressed against his back to pull him into a hug. "You foolish dwarf," Thorin whispered in his ear. "You should have called me. I would have found you no matter what got in my way. Not even the dragon could keep me from finding you."_

_Bilbo hadn't realized until that moment that he had been forcing himself to be strong for Fili's sake, but that he had really needed to break ever since the dragon attacked. He wasn't sleepy, he was exhausted, he was in pain, he was frightened, and, most of all, he missed Thorin and felt so alone without him. Bilbo allowed himself to collapse into Thorin's embrace as he buried his head in Thorin's shoulder and cried out all the tears he had been holding back._

_Thorin wasted no time in getting the two of them to a different, more private area before laying down with Bilbo on top of him and demanding that he get some sleep with the promise that they would talk about everything that happened in the morning._

* * *

_The next morning they got up bright and early, as they had every other morning, to pack up the equipment and move on. The children were the only ones who hadn't yet woken and Fili lay holding Kili so close to him that Bilbo didn't want to be the one to wake them and ruin the cute moment. He didn't have to because Dis was the one to do it, but even if he wanted to Thorin wouldn't have let him._

_Thorin had other princely duties to attend to, but he didn't want Bilbo out of his sight, or touch for that matter, for a single moment. Thorin had done this before, Bilbo remembered, when he had suffered from the same sickness that Kili had and any other time that he had been remotely injured._

_He could also see Fili doing the same thing next to his mother. He was neither big enough nor strong enough to carry his younger brother around, but he made sure that Kili was always in his sights or, when his mother allowed them to sit and rest in one of the carts, on his lap. He was glad that the two of them would have each other from that day on._

* * *

"What did you say to my nephew?" Thorin's gruff voice asked from beside him.

"It was nothing special," Bilbo shook his head. "I just mentioned how much Rejection hurt."

"And you know this because?" Thorin raised a brow. Bilbo was actually surprised that the other was still talking to him since this was the most that Thorin had ever said to him in one night. He had thought that Thorin would be satisfied with his answer and would move back to sit with the others. He was probably only talking to him because of the service he did for his nephews, though, so Bilbo resolved to think nothing more about it.

"I've felt it before," Bilbo replied.

"And now you don't?"

"And now I don't?"

"Why have you left your home if your soul mate is there?"

"I don't have a soul mate anymore," Bilbo shook his head. Luckily, Thorin decided that he didn't want to know anything more because as soon as those words had left Bilbo's mouth, Thorin was turning to leave. Bilbo frowned. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that because now Thorin would never think of him as a potential soul mate again. At least that wouldn't interfere with their quest.


	14. Nighttime Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili are far smarter than they seem sometimes.

A few nights later, Bilbo lay in his bed dreaming about Erebor. It was so lovely that he just couldn't get enough of it. He couldn't wait until they were able to take it back from the calamity known as Smaug.

Most of the dreams that Bilbo was able to have about Erebor, which were few and far between his nightmares about the dragon and other such evils, were simply memories of when he was younger or after Thorin had accepted him, but this one was very different. In his dream, he was stepping into Erebor for the very first time as a Hobbit after the dragon had been defeated and the dwarves finally got their home back. He dreamt that the dwarves were welcoming him in and that Thorin was wrapping his arms around him. It was amazing and Bilbo thought that he might be content to stay in this dream forever if he could just stay wrapped in Thorin's arms.

Fili and Kili, who stood off to Thorin's side, even started calling him Uncle again. Except it didn't seem like it was part of the dream when Kili's voice broke through all the noise. Especially not when everything started to shake around him and Bilbo realized that someone was actually trying to wake him up.

"Uncle Haran," or not because there was no way that Kili was calling him by his dwarven name in the waking world. Oh well, at least, since this was still just a dream, Bilbo didn't have to hold back when speaking with his beloved nephews.

"Yes Kili?" Bilbo asked, only opening one eye large enough that he could see his youngest nephew. How strange that Kili looked exactly like he did during the journey despite the fact that this was a dream.

"I had a nightmare," Kili mumbled just loud enough that Bilbo could hear it, but low enough that no one else would be able to.

"Was it a bad one?" Bilbo asked seriously despite his eye drooping closed once more from exhaustion. He had learned a long time ago that he shouldn't ask Kili to try to explain his dreams when he found out that Kili wasn't always the one with the nightmares. Sometimes it would be Fili that would have the nightmares, but he was too stubborn of a dwarf and a big brother to show any weaknesses. Fili, of course, didn't actually know that Kili was going to sleep in one of their elders' beds even when it was Fili with the nightmares because Kili was actually very perceptive and could tell things like that without anyone saying anything. Especially when pertaining to his brother.

"No," Kili shook his head, "but can…" there was a short pause and Bilbo could hear a rustle of clothing as Kili looked over at his brother before starting again. "Can we sleep with you anyway?"

"Hmm," Bilbo hummed as he pulled up the covers, allowing both of his nephews to slip in next to him. They were so much bigger than they should have been in his dreams, but Bilbo didn't mind much. Instead he buried into Kili's chest while Fili wrapped an arm around both of them. It was just like when they were young.

* * *

" _Uncle Haran?" Kili whispered quietly as he shook Bilbo's shoulder so that he wouldn't wake Thorin up as well. Ever since Dis husband, Vili, had died they all began to live in the same home in an attempt to cut costs and so that Bilbo could have an easier job of taking care of the little ones while Thorin and Dis were out hunting._

" _What is it little one?" Bilbo cracked an eye open to see the young Kili staring at him with the biggest most innocent looking eyes that only Kili could pull off. "Did you have a nightmare?"_

" _No," Kili shook his head immediately, "but can we sleep with you anyway."_

_Bilbo raised an eyebrow at the two brothers. This was the first time that the two of them had sought Bilbo's bed for any reason other than a nightmare, the two brothers were already very independent, and they certainly had never come to him when they had the chance to go to their mother who was in the next room over. Still, he lifted the blankets and was happy to see both boys' smiles brighten as they crawled into his bed._

_Kili immediately snuggled as close to Bilbo as he could get with Thorin's arm in his way and Fili wrapped his own arms around Kili in a way that made sure he was still touching Bilbo. Bilbo wrapped his own arms around both of them as well. He wasn't going to be able to do that for much longer. The two of them were getting so big._

_Just as Bilbo was starting to drift off again, Kili spoke up once more. "Uncle Haran?"_

" _Yes Kili," Bilbo forced a yawn back so he wouldn't discourage the younger from speaking his mind. Not that Kili often got discouraged in that respect, but it always seemed to be easiest to discourage him when he was trying to be serious._

" _Uncle Thorin says that you and him are going to go on a hunting trip with Great Grandpa Thror," Kili said. There was something more that he wanted to say, but it wasn't coming out so Bilbo chose to respond then instead of waiting for the little one to lose his nerve._

" _That's right," he nodded. "Your mother will be staying behind this time." Hopefully that would lessen any of the young dwarves worries._

" _But you never go on hunting trips," Kili pointed out._

" _I thought I would like to go on one this time," Bilbo tried to reassure. It was a lie of course, but there was no way that he was going to be let behind while Thorin marches with an army of dwarves to Moria. He would never forgive himself if he wasn't there and Thorin somehow died._

_There was a long moment of silence until Kili spoke up again. "Uncle Haran?" Bilbo hummed in encouragement so Kili continued his words. "Are you really going on a hunting trip?"_

_Bilbo started at that question. Kili had always been the most perceptive dwarf that Bilbo ever knew. He wasn't all that smart, he left that sort of the thing to his older brother, but when it came to piecing together different clues about people, Kili was always the one that Bilbo went to even at a younger age. He hadn't been expecting Kili to figure this out as well, though._

" _We will be hunting," Bilbo shirked the truth. They would be hunting, just not for meat that they could eat._

" _Will you promise to come back?" Kili begged._

_Kili's wide eyes almost made Bilbo comply, but he never made promises that he wasn't sure he could keep. This one was no exception, though, and he wouldn't let little dwarflings change his mind no matter how big their eyes got. Instead he said. "I will do my best to return."_

" _That's not a promise," Fili spoke up for the first time._

" _I promise that I will do my best to return." Both boys frowned, but they knew that he wouldn't give them anything better._

" _We love you Uncle Haran," Kili whispered as the two boys snuggled just a tiny bit closer to him. "We'll miss you."_

_Bilbo tightened his grip on the dwarflings as he felt tears prickle in his eyes. He didn't let them fall, though. He wouldn't let Kili and Fili lose hope in him by showing them his tears._

* * *

_The next morning everyone woke up early and Bilbo and Thorin readied themselves to go. Kili was crying the whole time, which wasn't a usual reaction for him and it seemed to perplex both Thorin and Dis very much as they thought that the young ones believed their story that they were just going on a hunting trip. When they were leaving, even Fili's eyes filled with tears as he clung to his little brother._

_Bilbo made sure to wave at the two boys until he was far enough that he couldn't see them anymore. Then he turned back to Thorin and buried his head in his shoulder._

" _What's the matter?" Thorin asked even as he immediately wrapped a comforting arm around Bilbo's shoulder._

" _Kili is much too perceptive for their own good," Bilbo whispered._

" _What are you talking about?" Thorin asked._

" _They know that we aren't going on a hunting trip," Bilbo replied. "They wanted me to promise that I would return, but I couldn't."_

" _Don't worry love," Thorin soothed, stroking Bilbo's long hair, "I'll make sure that both of us return." Bilbo smiled, but he couldn't believe Thorin's words. Especially since he was perfectly ready to throw himself in front of Thorin to save his life as soon as it was necessary._

* * *

Bilbo woke feeling warmer than he had ever since he left his home in the Shire and he really just wanted to snuggle the source of the heat for the rest of the day. He might have tried it, too, if he didn't realize that the source was actually breathing. He opened his eyes slowly to find that his source of heat was Kili and that Fili was wrapped around him. Suddenly, the memory of Kili waking him up with his dwarven name came back to him and Bilbo froze. Kili had called him Haran. Perhaps it had been a mistake on Kili's part, but Bilbo highly doubted it. Kili may seem like he didn't know what he was talking about more often than not, but he was the type that only spoke the truth no matter how crude it was.

"Uncle Haran?" Kili muttered as he was woken but Bilbo's sudden stillness.

"Why do you call me that?" Bilbo asked, hoping that he was wrong and it was just Kili's sleep muddled mind that was making him think of the past.

"You hum the prayer sometimes," Kili muttered under his breath so that they were the only ones who could hear. "No one else has noticed. I only figured it out because you knew about me and Fili before I did even though you had only just met us."

"You also tend to scold us just like Uncle Haran did," Fili said.

Bilbo sighed. If anyone would be able to figure it out, it would be those two. "You can't tell anyone about this," Bilbo said sternly.

"Not even Uncle Thorin?" Fili asked.

"Especially not Thorin," Bilbo shook his head.

"Why not?" Kili asked.

"I am not your Uncle Haran." Kili looked like he wanted to interrupt, but Bilbo hurried on before he could. "I have his memories, but I'm not really him. I don't want your uncle to start comparing us. I would never be able to live up to those standards." No matter how hard he tried.

"Will you tell them when we're done with the quest?" Kili asked. "I'm sure Uncle will be happy to have his soul mate again."

"We'll see," Bilbo replied before he ended the conversation by getting up. His missed the embrace almost immediately, but he couldn't allow his nephews to dig too far. His emotions wouldn't be able to handle that.


	15. On the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has always been afraid of heights and he thought he had good reason to.

It didn't take long for Bilbo to reconcile with his two nephews. He hadn't even been very angry with them in the first place, but he was afraid that they would continue to push him into telling the others about his past identity. His desire to be with him quickly won over that fear, though, and he found that he actually enjoyed being with someone who knew his secret; especially after they both promised that they would not push him often. He did not miss their neglect to promise not to bring it up at all, but he wouldn't push them. If there were anyone who knew the art of making open-ended promises, it would be him. The brothers may have even learned it from him.

Being with those two made the travel so much better. That is, until the group were scaling a mountain in a rainstorm. Nothing could brighten that day. In fact, it just kept getting worse. Honestly, it was bad enough that he was forced to separate with the two brothers when they went into single file lines, but then he kept slipping on the narrow rocks and almost fell more than once. Fortunately the dwarves had thought to place him right before Dwalin who always caught him almost immediately when his rather large feet slipped. Unfortunately, Bilbo was only now remembering that he had a slight fear of heights that always seemed to get worst in situations like this.

Then this only had to get worse when, after Bilbo had slipped yet again, he heard Dwalin yell to look out and a boulder crashed against the rocks above his head only to break to pieces and rain down upon them. They were stuck in a thunder battle. And it continued to get worst when Bilbo heard Fili, who was in front of Bofur who was before him, calling out to Kili as a sense of shifting came over him. Bilbo couldn't see his two nephews from the position he was in, but he could certainly tell that they were being separated by the desperation in Fili's voice.

Bilbo couldn't think anymore after that. The only thing in his head was to hold on and not look down even as he heard the dwarves yelling around him.

It was only when Bilbo found himself sailing towards a rock that was jutting out towards him that he came to his senses. If he waited for the rocks to crash together, he would be crushed. The only thing he could do was jump early and hope he makes it.

He didn't.

Bilbo felt his stomach crash against the ledge of the rock and, before he could get a proper hold on the water-slicked rock, he was slipping until only his fingers remained clutching to the edge. He was lucky that the stone giant hadn't managed to crush him even with his risky jump, but right now he actually thought that might have been preferable to falling to his death.

Funnily enough, the only thing that Bilbo could think about even as he struggled to find his footing was when this had happened before.

* * *

_Bilbo had always been a strange dwarf, even before he grew into himself and was still trying to make friends with the other dwarflings. Sometimes, when the adults happened to be around and were keeping a careful eye on them, the dwarflings were nice enough to play with him, but other times they were actually quite cruel. Perhaps that should have been Bilbo's first clew when they asked him to play with him and there were no adults around. Bilbo was too trusting, though, and much too happy that he might actually be making friends to think about it anymore._

_He followed the young dwarves, with absolutely no idea where they were going, deep into the mountain until they came across one of the mines that had been closed down for safety reasons. Some of the rocks were considered too unstable to safely bare the weight of the dwarves and Bilbo immediately grew concerned. "We aren't supposed to be here," he pointed out nervously._

" _You're such a baby," the other dwarflings scowled. "Do you want to play with us or not?"_

" _I do," Bilbo nodded, but not nearly as eagerly as he had before._

" _Good," they smirked. "Come here."_

_Bilbo did so slowly as they were very near to the edge and he was right to be cautious. The moment he was near enough to them, the dwarflings pushed him and he found himself slipping right off the edge with a cry of alarm. He was just barely able to catch himself before he went plummeting to his death._

" _Aw, did you fall?" the dwarflings taunted. "Why don't you pull yourself back up?"_

_Bilbo was much stronger than he looked, though, and quickly forced his arms to pull himself back up. He would prove himself to these dwarves and maybe then they would like him. He didn't realize, however, that they could be so cruel. The moment he was almost able to get back on the edge, one of the larger dwarflings pushed him back down._

_This happened several times and by the end Bilbo was sobbing frantically and crying out for help. His arms were already too exhausted to pull him up any longer and his fingers were quickly losing their hold. Throughout it all, the dwarflings never stopped taunting him and laughing at him. He had known that the other dwarves were jealous of his family for being so close to the royal family, but he had never thought that they would descend to something so malicious to get back at him. He had never even met any of the royals. It was only his father that had that honor._

" _What the hell are you doing here?" someone called from the hallway._

" _Nothing!" the dwarflings called. Bilbo couldn't see what was happening but he would know his big brother's voice anywhere._

" _Taran help me!" he cried, but it was too late. Bilbo slipped and barely caught himself again, but he was too far down for Taran to reach him then._

" _Haran?!" Taran's frantic face appeared over the ledge to see him hanging there before he turned back to the other dwarflings. "Go and get help now! And Mahal help you if he should die and I get my hands on you." Then he turned back to Bilbo and forced his face to calm. He leaned over as far as he could without risking himself, but he was still just barely too far away. "I need you to grab my hand little brother."_

" _I can't!" Bilbo cried out. He was too weak and he was sure that if he should let go, even with one hand, he would fall to his doom._

" _Yes you can Haran," Taran said soothingly. "I'll catch you. You just have to reach for me."_

" _No you won't!" Bilbo sobbed._

" _I am not losing you!" Taran growled, suddenly letting his own frantic emotions show through. "Either you reach for me or I'm going to follow you down."_

 _Bilbo did_ not  _want that to happen. What if Taran fell down with him? With one long breath to try to calm his nerves, Bilbo found a foothold and put the last of his strength into a burst that sent him up towards his brother. Taran caught his hand without a moment to loose and yanked him up and into his arms._

" _I'm so glad you're okay," Taran said as he soothingly stroked Haran's hair to try to calm him. Bilbo just clutched his brother's shirt tightly and cried his eyes out._

" _What in the world is going on?" an adult was standing before them with his arms crossed over his chest. The dwarflings that had pushed Bilbo were standing nervously behind him and Bilbo burrowed into his brother's chest so as to avoid them._

" _Haran can you tell me what happened?" Taran asked. "Why were you in this mine when you knew it was closed off."_

" _They asked me to play with them," Bilbo pointed to the dwarflings. "I didn't want to come here, but they said it would be fun. Then they pushed me-" Bilbo broke off to sob for a moment, "and-and they kept pushing me every time I tried to get back up!" Bilbo ended in a wail and his brother's hold on him tightened._

" _That's not true!" the dwarflings tried to protest. "He slipped on his own-"_

" _Silence!" the dwarf growled. "Taran, you take your brother to the healers and make sure he isn't too badly injured. I will deal with these ones."_

* * *

Bilbo came back to himself when he slipped just as Ori and Bofur dove forward to try to save him. He was able to catch another grip with one hand before he plummeted, but it was small and he didn't think he'd be able to hold on for much longer. What was worse was that, this time, there were no footholds for him to push himself up and grab that hands that dangled just above his reach, as though taunting him with their safety. If only he still had the strength that Haran had possessed, he would have been able to pull himself up long before now.

At that moment, Bilbo honestly expected that he would just fall to his death.

He was not, however, expecting someone, especially Thorin, to throw himself over the edge after him only to pull him up to those who were reaching for him. Bilbo didn't even have time to feel relieved, though as Thorin himself slipped. It made his heart stop in fear that he would be the reason for his soul mate's death, but Dwalin was there and he caught him, pulling him up to safety as well. Only then did Bilbo let himself feel his relief. He even kind of felt like crying as he had just relived the very reason for his fear of heights in more ways than one.

If Thorin hadn't been there, he would certainly have died.

"I thought we lost our burglar," Dwalin said.

Bilbo thought that the king's guard should be much more concerned about almost losing the king, but then he remembered that Dwalin had been right beside him and probably saw him jump. He also probably saw him slip before the stone giant's leg crashed into the wall. Dwalin had probably thought him lost even before they found him hanging off the edge.

"He's been lost ever since he left home." Bilbo felt a pang in his chest. It wasn't quite as bad as the Rejection had been, but the words of his love still hurt him very deeply. They strengthened his resolve not to tell Thorin about his past life during the trip, but they also made him doubt that he would ever tell Thorin the truth at all. "He should never have come. He has no place amongst us."


	16. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has always had a different meaning of home, but none of the other dwarves quite understand it.

" _He's been lost ever since he left home,"_ Thorin had said.  _"He has no place amongst us."_ He was right. Bilbo didn't belong with these dwarves. He wasn't Haran and Elrond was right: there was no way he could ever be that dwarf.

" _He has no place amongst us,"_ Thorin said.

" _He has no place amongst us."_

Thorin was right. He should never have come. The only thing that he was doing was getting in everyone's way. The best thing he could do now would be to just get out of their way.

If he had been Haran, he would have been able to stay and actually do something worthwhile. As a hobbit, he couldn't do that.

Bilbo waited until everyone was asleep, then, with a look around just to make sure, he got up and packed his stuff. He made sure to be as silent as possible, which was very quiet for a hobbit. He didn't know what he would do if his nephews found out that he was leaving and tried to stop him. He knew that he wouldn't be able to deny their pleading to get him to stay and he just couldn't allow that to happen.

Once packed, he quietly crept towards the front of the cave. He had to be extra cautious at this point, however, because his big feet were hard to navigate through the dwarves that were closely packed together in an attempt to earn heat. He was so intent on making sure that he didn't step on any of the dwarves that he didn't even notice Bofur until it was too late.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bofur asked silently, not wanting to wake Nori, who was sleeping nearby, up.

Bilbo froze for a second. He had really been hoping that no one would catch him. At least it wasn't his nephews. "Back to Rivendell," he said as he turned back to the other.

Bofur quickly stood up, stepping quietly closer to Bilbo and said words that made him want to stay more than anything, but Bilbo couldn't do it. Thorin didn't want him here and he was just in the way. "You're one of us," Bofur tried.

"I'm not, though, am I?" Not anymore. Not now that he wasn't Bilbo. "Thorin said I should never have come and he was right." Bilbo didn't have any business trying to be a dwarf. He had no business trying to do what Haran would have done. "I'm not a Took," or a dwarf, "I'm a Baggins. I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have run out my door."

"You're home-sick. I understand."

"No! You don't. You don't understand." Dwarves could never understand how Bilbo felt right now. "None of you do. You're dwarves. You're used to this life. To living on the road. Never settling in one place. Not belonging anywhere." Dwarves didn't belong anywhere because they belonged with people. They didn't need homes settled in certain places because they had their homes with their families that travelled with them.

* * *

" _I swear to you that we will find a home worthy of you," Thorin suddenly said as they travelled through the plains. They had recently been kicked out of yet another human village that didn't have enough room for an entire kingdom of dwarves and were starting a march towards anywhere to stay once more. At least this one had been kinder about it, but there were still several nasty words spoken to them, Bilbo in particular._

" _What are you talking about?" Bilbo asked concernedly. Thorin had been acting strangely ever since they had been reunited, but he had never once made a promise like that._

" _I will find you a home. A place that you will belong so that you won't be forced to march like this. So that none of us will be forced to travel like this. We'll have to make Dis family comfortable as well. She will take care of them, I'm sure, but I just want you all to be happy."_

" _That's enough of that," Bilbo said firmly. "While I agree that it would be nice for Fili and Kili to have a place to grow up in, I have no need for one and neither does Dis. At least not to make them feel like they have a home."_

" _What are you talking about?" Thorin didn't understand. Bilbo wasn't surprised; Thorin always seemed to have a bit of trouble understanding sentimental things like that. Perhaps that's why Bilbo was his soul mate, in order to balance him out with too much emotion._

" _We are travelling with our homes," Bilbo continued, hoping to explain it to Thorin, but having trouble thinking of the perfect words for it._

" _I don't understand," Thorin shook his head. At least the two of them were used to this sort of communication since it happened more than once. Usually it was because Bilbo had trouble explaining himself when Thorin didn't understand, but sometimes it was the other way around._

_Bilbo had to think for a moment in order to think of a good explanation. "If you had a permanent place to stay, but you were the only one who was allowed to stay there, would you call it home?" Thorin gave him a look and Bilbo knew that he still wasn't making any sense so he had to elaborate. "Would you stay in that place or would you come with me to wherever I went?"_

" _I would follow you anywhere," Thorin said immediately. That was one answer that he could always give. He loved Haran. Nothing would change that._

" _So if I wanted to travel the world and never settle down, would you care at all about that place that you could have stayed in?"_

" _No."_

" _It's because that place isn't really your home. Your home is with those that you love and that love you in return. We need places to stay, of course, but we have no need to search for our home because they are travelling with us."_

_Thorin nodded and his black mood quickly lifted. He may not have been the best at understanding emotions, but that didn't mean he didn't ever get them. Sometimes it was just harder when he was in one of his darker moods. Besides, carrying a home with you was a rather crazy notion if you were more of a physical being like Thorin was._

* * *

" _Uncle Haran," Fili came up to him, pulling Dis behind so he wouldn't be separated from his brother whom she was holding, when they had settled down for the night._

" _Why did the humans say that we should go back to where we belong?" Fili asked._

_Bilbo looked to the boy's mother, but the look on her face told him that whatever explanation she had given wasn't good enough for her son. She was a very emotional dwarf, just like he was, but they said things in different ways. Sometimes Fili understood Dis better and sometimes he understood Bilbo better. At first, Bilbo had thought that this might be a bad thing since he didn't want to seem like he was trying to parent Dis's children, but both her and her husband were totally fine with Bilbo and Thorin acting like second parents to the little one._

_Bilbo looked back to Fili, but before answering, he wanted to know. "Who said that to you?"_

" _Some of the human children," Fili shrugged, seemingly unaffected, but Bilbo knew the worst must have hurt just a little if he was asking about them._

_Bilbo sighed. How cruel could children be? "The humans don't understand us," Bilbo said. "It has been a long time since any of them have had to leave their village and travel for such long distances like we have."_

" _That's what ma said," Fili nodded. "She also said that they were just being cruel."_

" _That's right," Bilbo nodded, remembering his own experiences with bullying children. "They were being cruel."_

" _But I don't understand why they told us to go back to where we belong."_

" _What don't you understand about it?" Dis cut in sweetly. She was hoping that Bilbo would be able to clear this up, but it seemed to her like this was going to have to be a joint effort. "They say that because we don't belong with them. They're telling us to go back to the mountains."_

" _But isn't that what we're doing?" Fili asked._

_Suddenly, Bilbo realized that Thorin wasn't the only one who thought they were searching for homes instead of places to live. Did all of the dwarves think like that? He had always been a bit different from the rest of the dwarves, but surely he wasn't the only one who thought that they were travelling with their homes._

" _We are heading towards the mountains," Dis agreed, "but they aren't really our mountains. They aren't where we belong."_

" _Because we belong with out people," Bilbo continued, making Dis look up at him in confusion. "The humans haven't had to leave their villages in such a long time so they've forgotten what it means to belong somewhere. You don't belong in a place simply because that's where your ancestors may or may not have made their homes. You belong somewhere because that is where your family is. You belong with your family. The reason the humans say for us to go back to where we belong, is because they don't remember that simple fact."_

" _Oh," Fili nodded, looking much too old than he really should at his age. "I feel sorry for them then."_

" _There's no need," Bilbo shook his head. "They will stay with their families, where they belong, and you will stay with yours. There is no reason for you to feel sorry for them."_

_Fili nodded before running off, dragging his mother behind him only for her to return some time later having given Kili to Thorin to carry around for a while._

" _Do you really believe what you told Fili?" she asked._

" _Of course," Bilbo nodded. "It would have been nice to be able to stay in Erebor and I would very much like to claim our homeland in the future, but I do not think that being displaced from it makes it so that we don't belong anywhere."_

" _You amaze me Haran," Dis shook her head with a smile. "You are the only dwarf that I've ever heard talk like that."_

" _Maybe I was never meant to be a dwarf," Bilbo smiled jokingly._

" _Don't say that," Dis gasped. "Thorin would be horrible to deal with if you weren't around to deal with him."_

" _I suppose you're right," Bilbo laughed. Besides, if he weren't a dwarf, would he still be able to belong with them?_

* * *

Bilbo didn't have that anymore. He only had his home back in the Shire to look forward to. He wasn't a dwarf anymore.

Bilbo had meant what he said, but he didn't realize just how cruel it sounded, especially from someone who wasn't supposed to understand dwarves as well as he did, until Bofur's face took on a crestfallen look. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't-" He didn't mean it like the way it sounded, but he just couldn't get the right words out. How could he take back such cruel words when he was readying to abandon the dwarves anyway?

Bofur didn't even wait for him to work out the words. He simply agreed with Bilbo, with that same sad look, and wished him well on his journey.

Bilbo wanted to say more, to apologize for what he said or for leaving, but the words still wouldn't come so he simply turned, ready to take his leave and never see any of his dwarves ever again, but then Bofur called him back by pointing out the glow at his belt. It took a moment for the realization that his sword, which only glowed when orcs or goblins are nearby, was glowing rather brightly, and by the time it did, it was already too late. He heard Thorin call out to the other dwarves to get up, but it was all lost to him as he found himself and the dwarves careening down a crazy slide of a trap.


	17. Separated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've fallen into a goblin trap and Bilbo gets separated from everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. LadyLaran was kind enough to tell me that I accidentally posted the last chapter twice during my mass update instead of posting this chapter. This is now the correct chapter. I'm so sorry about that.

Bilbo was terrified the moment the floor caved in beneath him. At first, he thought it was a simple cave in that could probably kill them all whenever they reached the end of it, but what he saw instead was much worse. Goblins pulled the floor from their feet and had them sliding down a rocky slide that made Bilbo's rather sensitive skin raw with pain.

Luckily, Bilbo landed on top of the pile of dwarves so he was able to both avoid having his much weaker bones crushed by the heavy dwarves and have a soft landing that lessened any injuries he would have gotten otherwise. The other dwarves were not so lucky since they had Bombur fall on top of them. Bilbo had no doubts that they would not be any permanent damage, but the damage was enough that it took the dwarves too long to recover as the goblins overran them all.

The goblins were absolutely gross and it almost seemed like every single one of them wanted to lay a hand on one or another of the dwarves. Their touch felt bumpy with warts and Bilbo didn't want to imagine what sort of disturbing things were on the creatures skins. Especially not with them constantly rubbing against him.

The trail curved some ways in front of him, and Bilbo could see both his nephews and Thorin, who were already being led across it, struggling, but he was just too grossed out to even attempt it. He just stayed as small as he possibly could in an attempt to avoid touching any of the goblins. That's when he noticed something rather peculiar. The goblins had all grabbed at the dwarves and now at least one was holding onto each of his companions. Everyone except him. The goblins seemed to be completely ignoring him, and Bilbo decided to try something.

Bilbo made himself even smaller by crouching down and curling into a ball, hoping that he would somehow make himself unnoticeable, and it actually worked. Even as he got kicked several times, the goblins passed him as thought he wasn't even there. He just had to wait long enough that they wouldn't see him following him and then he might be able to save his companions.

He would not leave his family out there to die.

But his luck had already run out. The moment Bilbo actually gained the confidence to step go after his friends, he was faced with a straggling goblin that just happened to see him. He wasn't ready for it and it showed in his fighting, though he wouldn't have been very good either way.

It was all over in what seemed like a flash. One moment Bilbo was readying to follow his friends, and the next he seemed to be falling to his doom once more.

* * *

" _There's been a cave-in!" someone told him as he walked the halls. News like that travelled very fast in Erebor. Thorin wasn't with him, but he had no doubt that his husband had already heard and, if he wasn't already there, was heading there anyway._

" _How many people were injured?"_

" _We don't know," the messenger shook his head. "We're still trying to dig them out."_

_Bilbo nodded and asked where the cave-in was before hurrying through the halls with his guards close behind. It was always all hands on deck when something like this happened and he wouldn't be held back no matter what Thorin would no doubt say. It was his duty as the prince's husband to make sure that their people were saved._

* * *

_There was one problem, though. Bilbo reached the area that was supposedly caved in, but there was no one there. No clean up crew. No crying families. No injured. Not even the random people that should be milling about if there wasn't a cave-in._

" _This area is completely abandoned," and by the looks of it, it had been abandoned for some time now. A sudden realization hit Bilbo and he turned to his guards with wide eyes. "Get out of here! Get out!" It was already too late, though, and Bilbo was forced to push his guards back away from the entrance so that the falling rocks wouldn't hit them. This had been a trap all along._

_The rocks didn't take long to settle once they had fallen, but Bilbo still fell like they were slamming into him. Particularly his legs, which throbbed with his every heart beat. "Are you okay Prince Haran?" one of his guards, Floi, coughed out ahead of him. He had pushed them far enough away that they were only hit by the smaller rocks that always seemed to fall further._

" _I'm fine," Bilbo said, but he yelped as he tried to get up and his legs refused to move. "I think I've been pinned." Dwarf bones were strong enough that they probably wouldn't be broken from this, but his circulation was still probably being severely cut off. He needed to get out of here as soon as possible if he wanted to keep his legs._

" _That damn bastard," the other guard, Loni, growled while Floi checked Bilbo's legs. "This was a trap."_

" _I don't know if we'll be able to get you out without moving these rocks," Floi stated, "but I don't think we can do that without the proper tools. If we try to just move them by hand, I'm afraid the whole thing will just collapse in on itself." That was always the trouble with rockslides._

" _I will attempt to go get help. Maybe the end of this tunnel leads somewhere?"_

" _It's a dead end," Bilbo shook his head. Now that he wasn't concerned about trying to go save someone who might be trapped, he remembered this area. It had been started sometime ago, but immediately found that it didn't produce nearly any jewels and was never made entirely safe. It would take very little for the whole place to come down and that was apparently what their attackers were counting on._

" _This isn't good," Floi said after a moment. "You're bleeding out."_

_Now that Bilbo thought about it, he could actually feel the liquid quickly seeping into his clothes. "Can you reach the wound?" he asked._

" _Yes, but I won't be able to put sufficient pressure on it to completely slow the bleeding. We can only hope that help will come quickly."_

 _Bilbo nodded, but he had one secret up his sleeve that no one knew about. He could call out to Thorin whenever his life was in danger such as it was now. Perhaps it was actually better that he was bleeding like this. Otherwise, they'd have no way of contacting anyone for help._ "Please Thorin,"  _he begged in his mind._ "Help me." _He could only hope that his husband could hear him._

* * *

_Bilbo wasn't even aware that he had blanked out until he was awoken by the small rocks that fell on top of him as the bigger ones shifted._

" _Thank goodness." Loni was kneeled at his face while Floi continued to put pressure on his wound. They were both very blurry, but their presence was a comfort nonetheless. "We were afraid that you wouldn't wake up again."_

" _I was only conserving my strength," Bilbo laughed uneasily. He could tell that they didn't believe him, but that didn't matter now. The only thing that mattered was that the rocks were shifting and that meant that someone was trying to get to them. "Have you been able to talk to whoever is trying to get to us?"_

" _What?" Loni asked. Of course, it was in that moment that a rock was removed that allowed someone from the outside to talk to them. Bilbo couldn't turn to see who it was, but he would recognize Thorin's voice anywhere._

" _Can you hear me?"_

" _Yes!" Loni said. "We're in here."_

" _What are the injuries?" Thorin asked. He sounded very professional, but Bilbo could hear the panic in his voice._

" _There is only Loni, Floi, and I trapped here," Bilbo told him. It was always good to know just how many people were trapped._

" _But Prince Haran's legs are pinned under the rocks," Floi continued, "and I'm not sure how much more blood he can lose from a wound on one of his legs."_

_There was a pause as Thorin listened to the advice of those who were more used to digging before he returned. "We'll get you out soon."_

" _Be careful," Bilbo warned. It was always risky trying to dig out a cave-in, but it was even more so when someone was actually trapped under it. The last thing Bilbo wanted was for more rocks to fall and put either Thorin or his guards in any more danger than they already were._

* * *

" _Thank Mahal," were the first words Thorin said to him when they finally broke through the wall and got Bilbo's legs free. A healer took Floi's place by his wounded legs, but Bilbo could care less about the other dwarf because Thorin had taken Loni's place. "Are you okay?"_

" _I'm fine," Bilbo shook his head, but that immediately made him want to be sick so he rest it once more on the floor in the hopes that everything would calm down soon._

" _This wound isn't as bad as it initially seems," the healer concurred. "The only reason he lost so much blood was because of the rock pinning down his legs. The blood didn't have anywhere else to go. It will only need a few stitches and then you will need to rest for sometime."_

_Bilbo groaned. If there was one thing that every dwarf hated, it was sitting around all day doing absolutely nothing productive._

" _I'll make sure to get you some new books to read," Thorin promised immediately before he turned back to the healer. "When can we move him? I don't like remaining in this unstable cave."_

" _I am just finishing with the stitches now," the healer said, and Bilbo was actually surprised at how quickly the man worked. "We'll be able to move him once I'm done."_

" _Thank you Oin," Thorin nodded. Of course it was Oin. Bilbo really should have known as Thorin wouldn't trust anyone else with his family's care._

" _You better get me some really interesting books," Bilbo demanded, recalling Thorin's attention to him._

" _Anything in particular?" Thorin asked._

" _Something new from Dale," Bilbo replied._

" _I'll send someone to get something immediately," and Bilbo had no doubt that someone was turning to do that right now. Probably Dori. The scholar didn't usually do any digging, but he was strong enough to help and Bilbo thought he remembered Thorin saying he was going to be with the other that afternoon. "What were you doing down here Haran?"_

_Bilbo opened his mouth to speak, but he felt a sudden bout of dizziness and decided not to. "Someone told us that there was a cave-in," Floi replied from above them when it was clear that Bilbo wouldn't be able to speak for themselves. "We were coming down here to help with the recovery."_

" _It was obviously a trap," Loni growled. "Wait until I get my hands on that man!" Bilbo couldn't help but to smile at that. Floi and Loni weren't with him at all times because he refused to have guards at his side all the time, but they were his sole guards when he did have them and they had quickly become his friends. Which also made them rather protective of him for reasons other than their duties._

_Bilbo could see the absolute murder burning in Thorin's eyes at the realization that someone had tried to kill his husband, but he had no time to really feel happy about it as he found himself being lifted onto a gurney and taken to his room to recover. Both Oin and Thorin stayed at his side for the whole walk, Oin insisting on telling both him and Thorin every possible way to take care of him until he recovered before finally leaving them alone when they reached their room. Then it was just him and Thorin and he pulled the other into bed with him until he was able to fall asleep and leave his husband to whatever manhunt he was going to perform._

* * *

Bilbo awoke much more lucidly then he would have expected for such a fall with his weak body, but it was explained to him when he could himself in a patch of very large mushrooms. They must have cushioned his fall well enough that he wasn't too seriously injured.

Perhaps his luck wasn't running out after all.

Now he just needed to figure out how to get out of here and back to his family.


	18. Rock Senses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo really wished he had the same Rock senses he had as a dwarf at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After much deliberation with myself, I have decided to forgo the goblin scene for the simple fact that Bilbo was not in it and this story is based on Bilbo's POV. I am however working on a collection of different POVs and missing scenes from this story in I See Fire Extras. There is no need to read these as they will have no extra information that will be integral in this story. It is meant only to help the readers and me to understand the thought processes behind how the other characters are acting.
> 
> Anyway, on to the story. I'm sorry this chapter is a little shorter than I would have liked, but I hope you like it nonetheless.

Bilbo was just about to get up and grab his sword, which he noticed in another patch of mushrooms nearby, but then he saw the goblin that attacked him starting to wake. And then another creature, Bilbo could only assume tat he was another Goblin but he didn't really look like one, came over. He started speaking to himself about food while he tried to drag the dazed goblin away.

Bilbo watched, not wanting to move and give himself away, while the goblin came to enough to start fighting back only to get clobbered by a rock. As the creature jumped up and down, fighting with the goblin, Bilbo noticed something small and gold slipped out of a pouch in the creature's loincloth. He immediately wondered what it was, but he didn't dare move until the creature was out of sight.

Only when Bilbo was absolutely certain that the creature was far enough away that he wouldn't get caught, did he decide to move. He quickly stood, grabbed his sword, and went to inspect that odd little gold thing. It turned out that it was a ring, which made Bilbo even more curious as to why such a creature would carry such a thing around when he wasn't even properly clothed.

He couldn't think of it now, though, he had to find a way out of here and it seemed that the only way to do that would be to follow the creature and the goblin. He would much rather not do that, but he wasn't Haran anymore and he didn't have stone sense like the dwarves do.

* * *

" _We're lost," Bilbo pouted when his father looked at him. His birthday was a couple of days ago and his dad had promised to take him exploring some time soon as a gift. Of course, he made it sound a lot more exciting than it really was. They had been exploring for quite some time and now they were deep within the tunnels and Bilbo had no clue how they had gotten there even though he had been the one to lead the way._

" _Are we?" Vorin crouched low enough that he could look his young son in the eye. Bilbo was still very young and so didn't understand all the ways of the dwarves yet, but his father had a plan to teach him._

" _Do you know where we are?" Bilbo looked up excitedly. He very much wanted to get out of there so that he could go home and eat whatever his mother decided to make or get for lunch._

" _You're the one who brought us down here," Vorin pointed out gently._

" _Well then we are lost," Bilbo pouted. He had not been paying any attention to where they were, assuming that his father was keeping track, and now he didn't recognize anything around him._

" _The only way to get unlost is to keep moving."_

" _Which way do we go, though?" Bilbo honestly felt like he was going to cry. Even with the comfort of his father right beside him, he didn't like the idea that they might be lost forever. He wanted to go home. He wanted to curl up in his mother's arms while she sang a lullaby to him near the fire. He just wanted to be home again._

" _Which way do you think is best?" Vorin continued urging him as gently as he could._

" _I don't know!" Bilbo cried. Vorin seemed surprised by this. He frowned and looked around to see if there was anyone else around. His father had never been very good at comforting the young ones. Bilbo knew he was loved, but his father was a warrior and didn't understand sentiment the way a child needed. Whenever any of the dwarflings began to cry, Vorin would hand them to his wife immediately and hover awkwardly until they had calmed and he could take them back._

_He didn't have that choice right then, as they were the only two people in the corridor. "Come here," he said after a moment, crouching on the ground so that he was nearer to his young son's height. Bilbo did as he was told and his father picked him up to rest him on his shoulders. That was one of Bilbo's favorite places to be as it always made him feel so tall. He couldn't find it very exciting then, though, since he was still sniffling through his tears. "Close your eyes, little one," Vorin said and Bilbo did so. "Listen…Do you hear that? Do you hear the whispers?"_

_Bilbo nodded. He had always heard the whispers. Even when he was sleeping, they were always filling his head and speaking to him all at once._

" _Which way are they telling you to go?" Vorin asked._

_Bilbo pointed in the direction that they had been heading. Why would his father care about what the whispers wanted when it was the fact that he was following them that got them so horribly lost?_

_Vorin's eyebrows furrowed when he saw which way his son was pointing, but he nodded and continued that way nonetheless._

* * *

_The whispers led the two of them to a dead end, but it was unlike anything either of them had ever seen before. It was a large cavern near enough to the edge of the mountain that cracks were allowing the rain from outside to leak in. The rain, then, gathered in the center of the room, which dipped slighting lower than the outer edges, to create a large, untouched puddle. What really amazed them, though, was the glowing blue lights that emanated from inside the water. The submerged rocks were letting out an ethereal glow that would brighten in any area that another drip would fall._

" _Why did we come here?" Vorin asked._

" _The whispers kept telling me that they wanted to show me something," Bilbo replied distractedly. His tears had dried up some time ago, and were just replaced by wide eyes as he took in the scene before him._

" _They talk to you?" Vorin's mouth gaped open._

" _You said they did," Bilbo pouted. He had always heard the voices and he thought he was strange because of it, but when his dad said talked about them like they were completely normal he had been happy. Then, Vorin was surprised by them speaking and suddenly Bilbo felt like he was weird once again._

" _The mountain speaks to you," Vorin slowly took Bilbo off his shoulders and placed him on the ground. "You are blessed my son."_

" _I don't understand."_

" _The whispers that I was talking about earlier is called a stone sense," Vorin explained._

" _My teacher was telling me about that," Bilbo smiled. He liked to show how smart he was, but he rarely go to do it in front of his father because he had not yet been able to start learning how to fight and that was what Vorin was best at. That's why he was especially excited to show whatever knowledge he could to his father._

" _That's good," Vorin smiled proudly, but he continued to explain nonetheless. "Most dwarves' stone sense is nothing more than a feeling on which way to go. Some dwarves aren't even lucky enough to get that much. Mahal has blessed you, my son, with so much more. The mountain actually speaks to you, and that is not something that everyone gets. Erebor must love you very much."_

* * *

Bilbo no longer had the stone sense. It had been replaced with the hobbit equivalent, which was the sense of the earth. Plants and other living things talked to Bilbo now, sometimes even more so than Erebor ever had, but that wasn't any help inside this mountain that was stripped bare of any such living things. So Bilbo was forced to follow the creature until he found a corridor with a lake in the center. It reminded him of the lake he had discovered, but much darker. There were no glowing things except his sword, but even that was starting to flicker and die out. The black water seemed to invite anyone foolish enough to get close too it to drown.

The worst of it all, though, was the creature at the peak of the center that sang while smashing a rock into the goblin's head lie this was the highlight of its day. Bilbo was suddenly very glad that he wasn't that goblin and he had to look away before he was forced to see something truly gruesome.

Then, the glow of Bilbo's sword flickered once more.

And disappeared.


	19. Riddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riddling was always one of Bilbo's favorite games.

"Bless us and splash us, precious. That's a meaty mouthful."

Bilbo jumped as that scratchy voice came down at him from above. He didn't get far, though, before the odd creature that was, apparently, not a goblin jumped in front of him. He was already so flustered by all the events that had happened, including possibly getting a concussion from his fall, and this creature only made him even more confused with the way it spoke. Sometimes he thought it was talking to him and then it really wasn't and Bilbo was completely lost about what on earth was going on. He got so confused that he accidentally gave his name and where he was from out of the ingrained politeness his father had taught him. Immediately afterwards, of course, he cursed himself for giving away such intimate details. He did not want this creature somehow finding and attacking him at his home.

Well, if he ever actually went back to Bag End, which was somewhat unlikely with Thorin living in Erebor so maybe it wasn't all that bad.

Then there conversation took another twist as the creature, who Bilbo was pretty sure was talking about eating him earlier, started excitedly talking about how he loved games. "What has roots that nobody sees; is taller than trees; up, up, up it goes and yet never grows?"

"The mountain," Bilbo answered out of pure habit. That was one of his favorite riddles when he had been a dwarf and it was always the one that he led with even when he was riddling with his nephews and Thorin.

* * *

" _Can we play a riddling game, Uncle Haran?" Kili asked with his wide puppy dog eyes shining in the light. It was one of their favorite tactics to forgo their lessons, but everyone always allowed them to get away with it because riddles required just as much thought as lessons did. It also required the type of thought processes that were useful to getting through debates. Still, they had to at least make it look like they were reluctant. It wouldn't do to have the dwarflings skipping their classes everyday to play riddles._

" _You have classes to attend," Thorin said. The children weren't convinced, though. They always got away with more when their mother was off with one of the caravans to sell her jewels at the nearby villages of men._

" _Pleeeeease," both boys begged._

_Bilbo just looked over at Thorin, not wanting to make Thorin take on the role of bad uncle without also allowing him to redeem himself by taking on the role of the good uncle. Thorin rolled his eyes, but nodded and the boys cheered._

" _Very well," Bilbo sighed, shaking his head, "but just this once. You can't be skipping your lessons."_

" _Yes Uncle," the boys chimed._

" _Alright," Bilbo nodded. "What has roots as nobody sees; is taller than trees; up, up, up it goes, and yet never grows."_

" _Mountains!" the boys giggled immediately. "You always give us that one Uncle. Give us a different one this time."_

" _Okay, okay," Bilbo laughed. "What comes down but never goes up?"_

_Thorin just sat back and watched their nephews go through different guesses between them. He had already heard most of the riddles in Bilbo's repertoire and Bilbo grinned at him when the boys weren't looking. Thorin mouthed the answer at him and Bilbo nodded. He was glad that Thorin remembered such silly things like that._

" _Is it rain?" Fili asked finally._

" _Indeed it is. How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?"_

" _It has a hole in it!" Kili exclaimed after the two had thought for a short moment. They had been playing these riddling games for quite some time and the boys were really starting to get good._

" _Correct! Mary's father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughters name?"_

" _Is it Nunu?" Fili asked while Kili nodded his head jerkily. Bilbo almost felt bad for this one since they answered using their Westron alphabet, which was a good thing, but they still got it wrong. The point of this riddle, though was to learn to always pay attention to the whole of what is being said and keep it all in mind._

" _I'm sorry but that is incorrect," Bilbo shook his head. "Maybe your Uncle can answer this one for us."_

_Thorin pretended to think for a moment even though he had already heard the riddle before. He had gotten it wrong then too. "Is her name Mary," Thorin said._

" _It is," Bilbo smiled._

" _Oooooh," the dwarflings nodded, understanding dawning on them as they thought over the riddle once more. "Give us another one Uncle!"_

" _What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?" Thorin asked. It was in his right, of course, since they didn't specify which uncle they wanted to hear from and Bilbo allowed it with a smile. After all, he couldn't be the only one to come up with riddles and Thorin wasn't so bad himself._

" _Short?" the boys asked._

_Both Bilbo and Thorin nodded._

" _What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in a thousand years?" Bilbo asked. This was why they allowed the little ones to skip lessons, because at some point Thorin and Bilbo would start practically giving them lessons through their riddles._

" _M's," Fili said. He was the smarter of the two and his lessons were much more advanced than Kili's so it wasn't a surprise that he got the answer first._

" _If I have it I don't share it. If I share it, I don't have it. What is it?" Thorin asked._

" _A secret!" Fili said immediately, which made Bilbo raise a brow. The only riddle they ever got that quickly was his first one._

" _We have a secret too!" Kili said. "Isn't that right Uncle Thorin?"_

" _We won't have it for long, though," Fili continued._

" _What are you two up to?" Bilbo asked suspiciously._

" _Why don't we have one more riddle," Thorin said with one of his conspiratorial smiles. Honestly, he was as bad as the boys were. "Had by few, but treasured by all. I'm on the inside and the outside and I make dwarves fall. What am I?"_

" _I don't know that one," Bilbo said. He was a little flustered by the way the three boys were looking at him so he didn't really try to riddle it out, but he didn't think he could really be blamed for it. Besides, Thorin was reaching behind himself with the hand that wasn't wrapped around Bilbo's shoulders and pulling out a small jewelry box that Bilbo didn't recognize._

" _Sure you do," Thorin said as he handed the box over._

_Bilbo took the lovely carved box with his good arm and found that it was made in such a way that it could easily be opened effortlessly one handed. That had been one of the things that always frustrated Bilbo about the ones he currently own, but he thought he was doing a good job of hiding it from his husband. Apparently that wasn't the case and Bilbo had no doubt that he would have received this gift much earlier if Thorin had been able to figure out how to make such a clasp before then._

_He opened the box to find several golden beads inside, each marked with a different design, but all with the same word. "Beauty," he muttered as he placed the box in his lap to pick one of them up._

" _That's right," Thorin nodded. "Just like you. Happy birthday, love."_

_Bilbo blushed. He hadn't even remembered that it was his birthday that day, but even if he had, he would never have expected something like this. Lately he had been struggling with his appearance after going with Thorin to one of the men's villages and being stared at wherever he went. His One had been trying to cheer him up since then, but he had never expected this. "You shouldn't have," he gaped at Thorin. They could have used that gold for so many other necessary things._

" _Don't worry, love," Thorin shook his head, knowing what his husband was thinking. "I only coated them in gold. We did a little better the last time we went out so we had extra. This present is from the family to you. Dis even helped with one or two of them. I also won't allow you to get rid of them. They are yours and I'd very much like to see you wear them."_

_Bilbo sent a watery smile to his husband and gave him a quick kiss before turning back to his two nephews. "Would you both like to braid one in?" he asked. The boys nodded and clambered up on the couch so that Thorin had to move away from him to make room for them, but he didn't seem to mind. He just leaned back and watched his nephews yank on Bilbo's hair until he had two presentable braids in his hair._

_Thorin would have time to truly braid Bilbo's hair in the morning, anyway._

* * *

This riddling game wasn't nearly as enjoyable. The creature, which Bilbo decided to call Gollum because of his coughs, always came up with such dark things that Bilbo really had to think about before he could answer. He was good at riddles, but he had only had to contend with the light-hearted ones and never the ones about death and darkness so they threw him for a loop.

It was sheer luck that he got the last one. If Gollum hadn't mentioned the word, "time," he probably never would have gotten it and then he would've been eaten as stipulated by the terms of their game. Bilbo was really wishing that he hadn't agreed to that. He had been confident in his own abilities and too desperate to get out of that horrible place so he was too hasty in agreeing.

Luckily, Gollum made yet another mistake. He left it open for Bilbo to ask a question, not a riddle, and Bilbo took advantage, albeit completely accidentally. "What have I got in my pocket?" he asked upon feeling the foreign golden ring that he had completely forgotten about.

Gollum whined about how it was no fair and that Bilbo should change his question, but Bilbo would have none of that. It was the creature's fault, anyway, for leaving the last question so open ended and he desperately wanted to get out. Besides, if this continued any longer, he wasn't sure either of them would have the patience to continue. Bilbo had to get back to his company.

He did, however, do the gracious thing and allow Gollum three guesses, knowing the creature still wouldn't know what he had in his pocket.

Gollum guessed four times and got all four guesses wrong.

Bilbo sighed with relief. Now the creature would show him the way out and he could attempt to find the company of dwarves before he was too late to save them from the goblins.

Hopefully, he wasn't already too late.


	20. Out of the Frying Pan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything just keeps getting worse for Bilbo.

Bilbo really should have expected Gollum to betray their promise. He seemed the sort and had been acting shady the whole time. In fact, Bilbo was pretty sure the creature was ready to bludgeon his head in when he was trying to think of his last riddle.

Still, when Gollum started acting crazy about something he lost, Bilbo was really not expecting to have a stone thrown at his head. He had won the game fair and square, so Gollum should have been showing him the way out, but instead he was running for his life.

For a terrifying moment he got caught in a nook because of his stupid buttons. Oh why did hobbits have to care for their buttons so much? Dwarves cared more for their braids and hand ornaments, which almost never got caught on anything, and their weapons, which were always useful when in trouble.

Luckily, Bilbo finally squeezed through the little crevice the moment before Gollum reached out to grab him. Unluckily, he tumbled back and only had enough time to catch his new ring before Gollum, who was skinny enough to fit through the crevice without a problem, came flying after him.

Only, the creature didn't seem to see him. He kept calling out and spinning in a circle even as Bilbo lay right next to him. Then he started running in another direction.

Bilbo took his chance and followed.

Gollum lead him straight to the door leading out and Bilbo quickly took his chance to escape even though he had to jump over the creature to do it.

* * *

Bilbo chased after his dwarves with all his might. They were faster than him on a good day, but right then he was feeling all sorts of aches and pains from all of his falls and his legs felt tired so he certainly couldn't keep up with them. In fact, he only stumbled into the rest of the group when the dwarves finally noticed his absence. He didn't want them to concern themselves so he stood to tell them he was there, but no one noticed him. It took him until Thorin was accusing him of running back to the Shire, which was a little painful, for Bilbo to realize that it was his magic ring that was keeping him invisible.

Bilbo went to take off the ring immediately, but, weirdly enough, he hesitated when his fingers hovered over the thing. For a moment he just wanted to stay invisible; perhaps for the rest of his life. Then Thorin finished his speech and Bilbo caught sight of his nephew's faces and his mind was made up. He would not have his dwarves thinking that he left them. He yanked the ring off immediately and shocked the whole of the company as he denied Thorin's claims. It wouldn't be the first time, of course.

* * *

_After their time in Rivendell, Bilbo decided that he wouldn't give up on Thorin that easily. It had been painful to spend time with the prince, but it had still been more exciting than anything else he had done in the elven city. Including learning the bow, which was something he had wanted to do ever since he was a child._

_Thorin, of course, had not been happy about this new change of events. Especially since Bilbo practically followed him to wherever he would be that someone without noble blood could also go. Bilbo wasn't really stalking Thorin, though. In fact, more often than not, their meetings were accidental. Whether it was fate or some design of his father's, Bilbo did not know, but he took advantage of it nonetheless. All the faces that his intended made were quite hilarious and Bilbo often got a nice laugh from them. It was actually quite fun to surprise Thorin by showing up in random places._

_That is, until Bilbo just so happened to run into his Intended when the dwarf was hidden in an alley kissing a dwarrowdam. If Bilbo had been inclined to tell anyone about the event at a later date, he would say that it hurt more than the Rejection to see his supposed mate with another._

_Bilbo wanted to pull the girl right off Thorin, but instead he just stood there and stared wide-eyed at the scene until she broke the kiss herself. "What are you looking at?" she scowled when she noticed Bilbo staring._

_Suddenly, Bilbo felt absolutely livid that this dwarrowdam felt she had the right to kiss_ his  _intended. "I was just wondering how desperate you had to be that you would snog a dwarf in a dirty alley. Couldn't get any nicer accommodations? I do hope you're not thinking that you will somehow become pregnant and be forced to marry."_

_The dwarrowdam stuttered and Bilbo suddenly realized that that was exactly what she was hoping for. Thorin just shoved her off of him and Bilbo felt satisfied for a moment. But then he saw that Thorin's glare was not pointed towards the dam, but instead at Bilbo himself. "Go away," he growled._

_Bilbo immediately felt a stab as the Rejection intensified. Thorin would rather spend time snogging this bitch then actually spend time with his Intended. Bilbo bit his lip, nodded, and turned away. It wasn't his place, it seemed. Thorin didn't want him, that much should have been clear before now, so he should just let the Prince do as he liked._

_Bilbo only just barely caught the smirk that the dam sent his way before he exited the alley and he had to hold back a sob._

* * *

_The next time Bilbo saw Thorin, the prince was alone, but that did not stop Bilbo from avoiding his Intended. At least, he attempted to avoid Thorin, but apparently the prince wouldn't allow it._

" _I'm talking to you," Thorin hissed, catching Bilbo's arm to stop him from walking away._

" _I do apologize, my prince," Bilbo said with a bow. He had meant it to be respectful as was necessary for someone of his station, but it instead turned out somewhat mocking. He winced when he realized this, but what was done was done. "What do you need?"_

" _You have no right to be angry with me," Thorin growled._

_Honestly, Bilbo hadn't really been angry with the prince. Instead he had been angry at the dam for taking his Intended from him and he had been angry with himself for not being good enough for his soul mate. It wasn't until just then that he actually felt anger for Thorin. "I have no right?" Bilbo asked incredulously. "I have every right." He really didn't since Thorin had already rejected him, but sometimes his anger made him say things that weren't actually true._

" _What right do you have?" Thorin scowled._

" _The right of your Intended!" Bilbo practically shouted. It was only then, as the area around them grew silent, that Bilbo realized that they were in the market. He immediately wanted to creep into some type of hole and never come out. Now everyone would know that he was the poor dwarf that was rejected by the prince. Suddenly, Bilbo hoped that the Sickness that he had recently felt creeping up on him would take him soon._

" _How dare you claim such a thing!" Thorin yelled back. Bilbo's eyes widened and he stumbled backwards as the prince advanced on him. "No matter how many times you stalk me or how many lies you spread, you will not get any gold or jewels from me."_

_The pain in Bilbo's palm alerted him to the fact that he had just slapped the prince before his mind even caught up with the action. The silence suddenly grew even more as everyone stood frozen and that allowed everything to catch up in Bilbo's mind. Thorin had already Rejected him in semiprivate and he had kind of expected the dwarf to do it in public as well, but he never thought that Thorin would deny their bond completely. And in such a horrible way. He accused Bilbo of lying and, worst of all, he accused him of only wanting him for his money._

_Bilbo's eyes narrowed as he glared at the prince before him. He watched as Thorin's fists balled at his sides and he was well aware that he was going to get punched if he didn't leave soon, but he had to get one last thing out first. "I want nothing from you."_

_Thorin flinched and, for a moment, Bilbo worried that he might have just accidentally Rejected the prince, but then Thorin's scowl grew deep and his glare grew colder and there was no sign of pain. Contented that he did not just Reject the prince, Bilbo turned to go home. He had said his piece and made sure that Thorin did not actually think he only wanted him for his money, so now he could go home and suffer the Sickness on his own._

* * *

Thorin asked Bilbo just why he had come back. He didn't have to think hard on an answer, he wanted to get their home back, but he did have to think about the best way to word it so that no one else found out about his secret. The whole time he smiled at Thorin, making sure that the dwarf knew just how sincere he was about this quest. He might not have his soul mate's trust anymore, but he would not let Thorin think that he was not at all invested in this quest. Especially when he was just as invested in it as the other dwarves.

Apparently they all believed them as even Thorin gave him an approving smile, but then the moment was immediately ruined by the sound of wargs on the mountain.

"Out of the frying pan…" Thorin said.

"And into the fire," Gandalf agreed. "Run!"

And run they did.


	21. Up Into the Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo had long ago learned that things that seemed safe were never certain.

Everything was a blur as the entire company raced down the mountainside, hoping to outrun that which they knew they could never outrun. It was made even worse when they found themselves at the edge of a cliff.

They were trapped and wargs were upon them.

Bilbo was more than a little shocked to find of the large beasts impaled on his little letter opener of a sword as Gandalf yelled for the company to climb into the trees. The wizard even specifically called out Bilbo's name as he repeated his demands once more, but he was halted when his blade refused to come loose. He could always leave the thing behind, but he was more than a little reluctant to be defenseless even in the relative safety of the trees.

Bilbo had long ago learned that things that seemed safe were never certain.

* * *

" _Take Fili to our rooms," Thorin demanded as he shoved the little baby into Bilbo's arms. Normally, Bilbo might have protested at being sent off to safety, but right now he was the only one that could be trusted with the little one as Dis and Vili were not currently there and his leg was still healing from the injury he took from the cave-in._

_One of the royal guards broke off to follow Bilbo as he raced down the hallway, but Thorin stopped him with a clash of swords. There was no knowing which of the guards could be trusted and which ones only wanted their deaths._

_The three of them had only been on a walk in the royal hallways when they had come across a gathering of the royal guards. They both thought it strange, but had waved it off as the dwarves from the previous shift just gathering before going off to get something to eat just like them. They had been completely wrong. The moment they had their backs completely to the group, a battle cry rang out and all the guards descended upon them at once. Thorin forced Bilbo to the side as good and bad guards clashed around them before shoving Fili in his hands and sending him off._

_Bilbo only made it to Dis's room before one of the guards broke off his post and came straight towards him. He had no way of knowing whether the guard was coming at him or at someone behind him who had somehow gotten past Thorin and whatever good guards were left in the battle behind him. Either way, Bilbo needed to get out of the way so he dodged into Dis's room. From there he raced into Fili's nursery, where the only entrance to the room was through Dis's room._

_At some point, Fili began to cry and Bilbo desperately tried to shush the little baby. He couldn't afford to have a lot of people finding him when he had such a little treasure to protect. He wouldn't even dare put the little dwarfling down just in case someone happened to get past him and to the baby, which meant that he was hindered by being one-handed._

_Suddenly the wall shifted near Bilbo and he jumped back. They had thought that there were no service entrances to this room, which is exactly why Dis and Vili chose it for their child, but apparently they were wrong._

_Bilbo pulled out the sword that was kept in the baby's room, having left his own in their room because he was armed with his daggers, and readied himself to face whatever came through that door. The dwarf who peered through the door, though, was not dressed in the garb of the royal guards. Instead he was dressed in darker clothes more suited to a thief._

" _Your highness," he bowed when he noticed Bilbo who still hadn't let his sword drop. They already couldn't trust their own guards so there was no knowing whom he could trust. "My name is Nori. I am the brother of Dori."_

" _The new spymaster?" Bilbo asked, lowering his sword. Thorin had told him all about the spymaster that had been recently appointed to the two of them who was supposed to keep them safe from the shadows, but he had yet to meet the dwarf. Dori's family had always been loyal to Thorin's, though, so Bilbo decided to trust this dwarf. He did not, however, sheath the sword. Just in case._

_Nori didn't seem to mind, though. In fact, he nodded in approval when he saw the Bilbo remained armed. "It's not safe here. Come this way. Quickly, before they break through the door." As though the words had marked the occurrence, the sound of the outer door being forced opened echoed through Dis's room and Bilbo ran towards the safety of the hidden hall. Nori quickly closed the door behind him. "This way," the spymaster whispered. "Hurry!"_

* * *

_When they came out of the hall again, Bilbo found himself in the market place. It was crowded and he had to quickly put his weapon away before he accidentally hurt someone with it. "What are we doing here?" he asked. "There's no way to defend ourselves here."_

" _This is the safest place to be," Nori shook his head. "We'll get lost in the crowd and, if the guards do happen to find us, they'll have just enough difficulty pulling their weapons as we would. Just keep your head down and don't get noticed."_

_It was easy for the spymaster to say, of course, but a lot harder for two members of the royal family to pull off. Bilbo might have been able to pull it off himself since he generally stayed out of the public eye, but Fili was just recently presented in court and he had the advantage, or disadvantage as the case may be, of being one of the only two dwarves in all of Erebor with blond hair. Not to mention the fact that they were still wearing their royal garbs as they had been headed towards a public lunch._

_Bilbo was noticed almost immediately, but he was surprised to find that it was just Loni and Floi who immediately flanked him. Their positions, as well as Nori's in front of the three of them, managed to hide Bilbo from anyone else's prying eyes while they walked from stall to stall so as not to seem suspicious. Bilbo even wound up buying Fili a rattle that he particularly liked, though he had Floi pay for it._

_They stayed this way, mingling around the marketplace, until the rumor that the two princes had disappeared in an attack and that Thorin was frantically looking for his husband and nephew sent them heading to Bilbo's original destination. Nori took him back through the secret hallway, though this time Loni and Floi followed, and they took different turns until they reached the public dining area. There they found a frantic Dis, who Bilbo immediately gave Fili to, and livid Thorin, who Bilbo went right up to and gave him a kiss to calm his nerves._

* * *

Nori did not at all look satisfied with the safety of their current perches when Bilbo in a tree high enough that the leaping wargs could not reach him. And that, more than anything, worried Bilbo to no end. Nori was always good at analyzing how safe they actually were and what would be best to be done, but right then the only thing he could do was to keep frantically glancing over at Bofur.

Their fears were realized when the tree that Bilbo had taken suddenly lost its grip on the ground below them and started the domino effect of each tree falling one after the other. Only when they had all made their way to the very last tree on the edge of the cliff did everything stop. This one tree was stronger than all the rest and Bilbo only hoped it would hold out long enough that they might survive this night because, if it gave, they would all fall to their doom.

This really wasn't helping Bilbo's fear of heights.

The wargs followed them to the tree, but they were quickly warded off by the quick thinking and magic of Gandalf who had all of them throwing flaming pinecones at the large beasts.

When the creatures had all been warded off the dwarves celebrated. All except for Nori who was inspecting the tree's roots. Bilbo looked down to see what Nori was looking at and it was just in time to see some of the roots give way as the tree toppled so they were all hanging precariously over the cliff's edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to apologize that this chapter and probably the next chapter are a bit short compared to the others. They were meant to be one full chapter, but I thought it would be better for them to be separated. I hope you guys continue to enjoy reading, though.


	22. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo was honestly not expecting Thorin to accept him in the company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually wound up being longer than I expected so I had to separate it again into another chapter so that one might actually be the short one. I hope you guys enjoy.

The fire burned before them, almost simulating the rising sun, which they so badly needed at the moment but wouldn't be getting for quite some time. They were stuck and it was looking like they were either going to die by fall or die in a fight. Neither were particularly good options, though, and Bilbo tried to think of something else that they could do, but then Thorin made that decision for him.

Somehow, the dwarf king managed to claw his way onto the relatively stable tree trunk and then charge past the burning wall that was the only thing keeping them all safe and right into the mouth of a warg. Bilbo could here Dwalin and Balin screaming and trying to get up to help their king, but the tree was too weak to hold their heavy weights and kept breaking at their every attempt. On the other hand, Bilbo pulled himself up onto the trunk with little trouble. He was not going to let Thorin face this on his own.

The little hobbit crept past the fire in such a way that not even the dwarves noticed him and continued on until, finally, he jumped on the orc that threatened his Intended. It took several stabs of his tiny sword, but finally the orc died and he stumbled backward to be between Thorin and Azog the Defiler. His arm felt numb and he was forced to take a stance that held that arm behind him and had his sword pointed straight at the warg. There were no useless swings, as any hobbit would have done in this situation, he had been a dwarf trained to use the sword and he stood steady.

"You think you can beat me." Azog somehow managed to combine a snarl and a laugh, which sent shivers up and down Bilbo's spine.

He was a dwarf, though, and such a thing would not faze him for long. "Even with only one arm."

Azog's eyes widened and his face contorted into the most disgusting snarl Bilbo had ever seen. "You!" he growled, urging his warg forward and Bilbo recognized his mistake. He had just practically told The Defiler who he was in his past life, but he couldn't really find it in himself to care. If that meant that Azog would focus his attempts on Bilbo instead of Thorin than he actually thought it was for the better.

Bilbo rose his sword just a little bit higher, ready to face the white warg with all his strength, but a war cry distracted both him and Azog as three of Thorin's most loyal dwarves came charging into the fray.

After that, everything became a blur. He knew that he had taken down quite a few orcs before the eagles came, but it almost felt like it wasn't him that was doing it. It was like something else had taken over his body and fought for him.

Then the eagles came and everything ended just as quickly as it all began. One moment all the dwarves were fighting for their lives, either on the tree or against the orcs, and the next they were on the backs of eagles, flying to safety. Bilbo held the oaken shield that he hadn't even realized that he had picked up close to him and prayed that Thorin was safe. He didn't know what he would do if his Intended were to die now. He didn't know what any of them would do.

Then they landed on a carrack far above the ground and Gandalf rushed over to the side of the Dwarven King. With a few muttered words from the wizard, Thorin opened his eyes and everyone sighed in relief.

"The Halfling?" were his first words.

"It's alright," Gandalf assured as Dwalin and Kili helped him up. "Bilbo is here."

Bilbo felt his whole body relax as Thorin turned to face him. He was okay. He was okay.

"You!" Thorin said. "What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed." Bilbo opened his mouth to explain himself, though he wasn't even sure what he would say, but Thorin continued as he advanced on the hobbit. "Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild. That you had no place amongst us." Each word shot another stabbing pain through Bilbo's heart and he found himself unable to look at the dwarven king, but still he continued. "I have never been so wrong in all my life." And then, suddenly, Bilbo felt arms wrapped around him and Thorin was breathing into his ear and the whole company was cheering and all Bilbo could think about was that moment that Thorin finally Accepted him.

* * *

" _Haran," Taran whispered as he shook Bilbo's shoulder. "Haran you need to wake up."_

" _What is it?" Bilbo mumbled as he pushed himself up from the bed that he had been laying on ever since Thorin had Rejected him so publicly. The Sickness had taken him the very next day, though he insisted to his family that it was probably just a fever or something, and he could feel himself on the cusp of the Sleep where he would finally be able to rest for all eternity without this pain. His brother, he knew, would not have woken him without a reason, though, so he pushed himself to get out of bed._

" _There is an invasion of orcs within the mountain, but the king doesn't want any of his subjects to panic so he isn't telling anyone. We need someone to go and warn the prince and his brother and sister, but we don't have anyone that it wouldn't look suspicious. I need you to go and warn them," Taran explained, helping Bilbo pull enough clothes on that he wouldn't look like he was completely ill._

" _Does dad know that you're asking for my help?" Bilbo asked, knowing the answer already. His father would have asked him himself if he wanted something from Bilbo and Vorin would never do it when his youngest son was ill and weak because of it._

" _The king doesn't even want them to be warned," Taran shook his head. "He wants them to act normally so no one else gets suspicious."_

" _Alright," Bilbo nodded, pulling on his sword and hiding a couple of knives on his person. He wanted to strap his bow and arrows to his back, but he never wore them inside, so he knew it would look suspicious. "Do you know where they are?"_

" _I only know that Princess Dis was supposed to be training with her intended today," Taran replied. That was all Bilbo needed, though, and he forced himself to set forward despite the weakness of his heart and body. "You better be careful," Taran said. "We'll be tracking the orcs and I don't want you to get hurt."_

" _I will," Bilbo replied, giving his brother a short hug. It was a lie, though, because Bilbo knew that even if he was going to be careful there was no way that he was going to last then entire day. He would rather go out defending the royal family then simply fading away. This hug, he thought, would probably be the last one that he would ever share with his brother._

* * *

_Luckily, and surprisingly, Bilbo came upon Thorin, Frerin, and Dwalin on his way to the training grounds. They were actually quite near his house and he wasn't sure that he would've been able to go anywhere without running into them, which he thought odd, but he was not one to take luck for granted._

" _Haran!" Thorin was the first to notice him. He looked like he was going to say more, but Bilbo had neither the time nor the desire to stand around and chitchat._

" _I'm heading to the training grounds and I was wondering if you three would join me?" he said with a smile._

" _Dis is using the training grounds right now," Frerin said._

" _But we will be happy to join you," Thorin cut in. Bilbo smiled, though he knew it was a bit strained. Of course Thorin would be eager to finally get a chance to prove that Bilbo was just as inferior as he thought he was, but Bilbo would have to deny him that chance. He had more important things to worry about in that moment._

_There was some amount of whispered conversing between the brothers as Bilbo passed them, he wondered what was so very secret but didn't mention it, before Thorin came up beside him. "I heard that you had been ill for some time," he said with a little bit of awkwardness. It made Bilbo wonder how many people Thorin had actually had decent conversation with outside of his family. Even he and Dwalin seemed to be more of the silent friends who rarely talked. "Are you feeling better now?"_

" _It was only a cold," Bilbo lied. "I feel much better now, though. All's I needed was a bit of rest."_

" _I am glad to hear it," and with that the two of them lapsed into an awkward silence as they walked the halls. Even with the awkwardness of it, though, Bilbo quite enjoyed it. He and Thorin were walking side by side as though they actually were together and Bilbo felt that this, at least, would be a good last memory. He could pretend, in these last moments, that Thorin actually did care for him._

_And then it all ended with a crash as they came upon the training grounds to find several orcs attacking Dis and her Intended, Vili. Vili, who was an experienced soldier in his own right, was doing well enough against the few that he was faced with, but most of the orcs had attacked Dis and she was quickly failing._

_Bilbo didn't even think before a dagger slipped from his hand and landed straight into the skull of an orc that was coming up behind the princess. Then another dagger was thrown and another until he ran out and was forced to pull his sword. By then, though, a lot of the orcs had broken away from the princess while Dwalin had headed to her aid and came toward the three of them, so he had to do nothing more than wait for them to come._

_Bilbo used his father's teachings to slash and stab and behead any of those foul beasts that came anywhere near him. He could feel a couple of cuts forming on his face and side as he slowed from the Sickness, but he paid no mind to any of it. Even if the blades were poisoned, it would mean nothing to him in the end. He had nothing to lose anyway. The only thing that he needed to worry about was keeping everyone safe._

_It all ended much quicker than Bilbo had expected as several guards spilled into the training room from the other side and took on the fighting for their own. But, even so, Bilbo felt exhausted. He could barely stand as both Thorin and Frerin rushed past him to get to their sister and finally gave up the fight when he noticed his older brother coming towards him._

_The last thing he remembered before the darkness of Sleep overtook him was his brother's voice calling out his name._

* * *

_When he woke again, he was warm. He wanted to go back to sleep and just savor the feeling of it, but something didn't feel right. He had always heard great stories about Mahal's halls, but this place that he was currently laying looked nothing like it. In fact, it looked a lot like his room._

_Then something else caught his attention. There was something holding his hand still. For a moment, he panicked, thinking that someone was trying to hold him down, but then he realized that the grip was light and he could have slipped out of it whenever he wanted to. He could have, but he didn't want to. Whoever was holding him felt nice and he didn't want them to ever let go again._

_That's when another realization hit him. His heart felt whole. He had expected that the pain of Rejection would leave him when he Slept, but he never thought that it would make him feel whole. Especially when he had only ever felt that way for a few seconds in his entire life._

_Bilbo turned his head to find Thorin sleeping in a rather comfortable looking chair that had never been in his room before with their hands connected. He looked so peaceful, Bilbo decided, when he was asleep and he really didn't want to wake him, so he carefully extracted his hands from the other to try to figure out what was going on._

_The moment Bilbo's fingers lost contact with the warm hand, Thorin snapped awake and he practically lashed out in order to take that hand again. It frightened Bilbo, the utter desperation that Thorin had in his eyes, and he let out a light yelp when his hand was held painfully tight in the other's desperate grip._

" _Haran!" Thorin gasped, jerking his head up to look at Bilbo's face. "You're awake!"_

" _What's going on?" Bilbo's throat hurt and his voice sounded raspy, but Thorin just looked happy that he said anything at all so he didn't complain._

" _After you saved Dis at the training ground, you collapsed and you've been Sleeping ever since. I promised that I would not leave you or let go of your hand until you woke up."_

" _No one wakes up from the Sleep," Bilbo shook his head._

" _You did. I've Accepted you and you've woken. Everyone told me to give up after a week had passed, but I was determined."_

" _A week?" Bilbo asked. "How long has it been?"_

" _A month or so," Thorin replied. "I've been by your side the whole time."_

_Bilbo wanted to say more. In fact, he knew more needed to be said, but in that moment he just felt so sleepy. "We'll talk later," he said. "For now we both need some rest." Who knew Sleeping would be so exhausting._

_Thorin froze for a moment, but then he leaned back into his chair and said, "I will be here when you wake again."_

_But Bilbo would have none of it. He scooched over until his back was pressed against his wall and pulled on Thorin's hand until the Prince was laying in bed next to him. Then he wrapped those warm arms around him and cuddled into the embrace. After a moment of just laying there, being completely shocked, Thorin finally tightened his arms and Bilbo felt comfortable. It was not proper nor was the bed big enough for the two of them to be in bed together, even if it was just for sleeping, but Bilbo wouldn't have it any other way._

* * *

Bilbo held his breath, waiting for the two of them to touch, but it never happened and Thorin pulled back to apologize for doubting him. The whole time Bilbo was explaining why it was okay and he would have doubted himself too, he couldn't quite decide if it was better or not that they had not managed to have skin-on-skin contact.


	23. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin and Nori would always be loyal to him no matter what form he's in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just noticed a timeline error and fixed it in this chapter. Sorry about that.

"Is that what I think it is?" Bilbo practically gaped as his eyes landed on the singular peak raised high in the distance. And it was exactly what he thought it was. It was the Lonely Mountain. Erebor. Their home. Just looking upon, even from as far away as they were, Bilbo could feel his heart lighten. He had never seen it with his Hobbit eyes, but that didn't make him any less eager to be home again.

The others all seemed to think the same way as they stood and stared with longing eyes at the far off peak, but it could not last. "We must move on," Gandalf said. "We do not want to be trapped up here when it gets dark and it will take some time for us to climb down."

It was a hard thing to pull all of their eyes away from their homeland, but they did eventually manage it as a harsh wind attacked them, almost toppling Bilbo right over. It was decided then and there that they should try to get off the top of the carrack as soon as possible. The passageway, however, was almost as narrow as the ones they had tried to cross the misty mountains on and they were forced to travel single file downward.

At first, when Dwalin had taken the spot right behind him and Nori the one right before him, Bilbo thought nothing of it, especially since that had been where Dwalin was stationed over the Misty Mountains, but then he realized that both dwarves were reaching out to catch him even when he hadn't slipped. In fact, more than once, Bilbo noticed Dwalin just holding his hand out, ready to catch the hobbit if he should fall. It was rather strange, but Bilbo allowed it of both of them since he had just saved their king. Although, it was still strange for Both of Thorin's two main guards to choose to stay with him near the back while Thorin lead the charge just after Gandalf.

And then, when they had finally reached the bottom as the sun began to set and Oin had been satisfied that all of their wounds were treated, something even weirder happened. "Master Baggins," Dwalin said gruffly as he and Nori stood together in front of the much shorter Hobbit. "We were wondering if we might speak with you."

"Of course!" Bilbo replied immediately. "But please call me Bilbo. What can I do for you?"

"Privately, Master Baggins," Nori replied, turning and heading for the dense trees without even giving Bilbo the chance to reply.

Bilbo looked to Dwalin, who just shrugged, before following after Nori with Dwalin just behind him. They walked quite a ways before the spymaster was apparently satisfied. He turned suddenly, making Bilbo jump, and then went immediately down on one knee. Bilbo was so flustered that he barely noticed when the King's guard stood next to Nori and copied his actions. Both of them bowed their heads and Bilbo finally recognized just what they were doing, though he had no clue why.

* * *

_Their wedding had been lovely. As much of the kingdom as possible had tried to show up to the ceremony and the rest were eagerly awaiting the new couple to walk the halls of Erebor and greet them all before going back to their chambers to hold a small party for family and friends before retreating to themselves for a week or so. All of this was by tradition and Bilbo actually found himself glad to be following it. As much as he liked planning parties, he really was completely lost when it came to a wedding for himself and Thorin._

_In fact, he was too busy trying to learn all that there was to know about his husband to even bother with such planning. It had only been a month since he had woken from the Sleep. It truly wasn't enough time and most couples would take more time to learn each other before even thinking on marriage, but Thorin had been so afraid that Bilbo would fall into Sickness once more if they should ever be separated again so Bilbo found himself unable to deny his Intended. He also found himself just as eager to marry as Thorin was. He had spent so much time chasing after the Dwarf Prince that it seemed almost surreal to finally have him and being married would only solidify that feeling even farther._

_Unfortunately, their happiness was not shared amongst the entire kingdom. Most of the dwarves were happy for them and cheered as they passed, but Bilbo discerned more than a few angry scowls amongst the crowd. There was one that he particularly recognized, the she-dwarf that had kissed Thorin in the alley and lead to their very public fight, and he clutched the arm that his husband was leading him by just a little bit tighter._

" _What's the matter?" Thorin whispered without looking down at him. It wouldn't do to show any weakness and if Thorin were to look at Bilbo then, there was a chance that others would notice that there was something wrong, which neither of them wanted._

" _It's nothing," he replied with a smile. "Just a bad memory."_

" _You're not supposed to have bad memories on your wedding day," Thorin grinned, looking down at Bilbo now that he knew there was nothing to worry about. "It's bad luck."_

_Despite their attempts at making it seem like there was nothing wrong for that short moment, Dwalin still noticed from Thorin's other side. Somehow, he saw exactly where Bilbo was looking and caught sight of the wicked female just as she slipped a knife from her sleeve and lunged at the new Prince of Erebor. It was a good thing too, because, if he hadn't, no one would have reacted fast enough to stop her from plunging the blade into Bilbo's chest. It wouldn't have been a fatal wound, she didn't have the time nor the experience to be able to aim for that, but it would have been bad enough that it could be dangerous to his health._

_As it were, Dwalin lunged in the same moment that she did and caught her arm just before it made contact. Thorin quickly pulled his new husband away from the quarrel, but didn't have any time to do anything more as his guard and best friend twisted the woman's arm behind her back until she dropped the weapon and then a little farther until there was a loud pop and she screamed. He dropped her then, allowing her just enough time to cradle her dislocated arm before more guards were upon them._

" _It's poisoned," Dwalin snarled as he picked up the weapon._

" _You aren't injured are you, Dwalin?" Bilbo asked. If the weapon was poisoned then a simple knick could spell the dwarf's doom and Bilbo didn't want that. He didn't want his husband to lose his best friend and he was scarcely less eager to lose the dwarf that he was starting to become good friends with too._

_Dwalin snorted and shook his head. "I think you should be more concerned about yourself," he said. "She was aiming for you."_

" _I am quite unharmed," Bilbo smiled. "Due to your quick thinking."_

_Dwalin grinned, shaking his head as he wiped the blade free of whatever poison tainted it. He would give the cloth to Thrain's spymaster as Thorin didn't have one yet and the woman would pay for her crimes. For now, though, he simply tucked the cloth away and went down on one knee before Bilbo, holding the now clean knife out as an offering. It was a sign that Dwalin had done this for him, not for Thorin but for him. It was a sign of loyalty._

" _Thank you Dwalin," Bilbo whispered as he took the knife from the dwarf's hands and handed it to Thorin. Normally it would be disrespectful for someone to give such a gift away, but the consort was not allowed to carry weapons during the wedding ceremonies. Bilbo thought it was stupid, but he could see the purpose of it, if the consort should attempt to kill the one he or she is marrying. Still, Bilbo had hidden a few knives in his shirtsleeves, which Thorin knew about, and he would make sure to openly carry that knife later so all knew that he had accepted Dwalin's gift._

" _I swear that, as long as you are with Prince Thorin, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."_

" _Thank you Dwalin," he said again, with a blush forming on his cheeks. He had expected Thorin's guard to protect him because he was the prince's husband, but he hadn't expected them to so openly devote himself to Bilbo. Not only did it show everyone that the new prince had the royal guards' support, but it also showed Bilbo that he was a true friend._

* * *

" _Dwalin," Bilbo said later as all their friends and family were leaving them for their retreat. "May I speak with you for a moment before you go?"_

" _Of course," Dwalin nodded._

" _I want you to promise me something," Bilbo replied. "If it should come between protecting me and protecting your Intended I want you to promise me that you will protect your Intended." Dwalin hadn't yet found his One, but Bilbo had a feeling that, when it did happen, Dwalin would be at war with himself on whether or not he should save the princes or the one he would be in love with._

_Dwalin gaped for a moment. "I can't promise that," he said. "It is my duty to protect you."_

" _I can protect myself," Bilbo shook his head, "and, if that should fail, Thorin can protect me. Promise me that you will choose your One."_

_Dwalin stood completely silent for a moment before finally nodding. "I shall be nearby if you should need anything."_

" _Thank you," Thorin said once Dwalin was gone. "I've never been able to tell him to do that and I feared that he would lose something he held precious just to protect me."_

" _We can protect each other now," Bilbo replied. "When Dwalin finds his One, I am sure that he will be less inclined to argue with us about this promise."_

_Thorin laughed. "True. I hope he does so soon, then. Because I am certain that he will argue for quite some time."_

* * *

"Prince Haran," Dwalin said, "as long as you are with Thorin, I will do anything in my power to keep you safe."

"As will I," Nori continued.

Bilbo had expected them to pledge loyalty, but he certainly hadn't expected them to call him by that name. Apparently he wasn't doing as good of a job as he thought keeping it a secret. "How did you know?" he asked.

"The way you fight," Dwalin replied, looking up at him, but not standing from his crouch. "You fought as though you had been trained, which you told us that you had no training, and you acted like your arm was immobile as it had been at the end of your past life."

"Fili and Kili started calling you Uncle when talking to each other," Nori told his own reasoning and of course it had something to do with eavesdropping. "I had my suspicions at that point, but the battle only solidified it all."

"Thank you," Bilbo said sincerely, giving both of them a smile. Thorin might not ever know about him, but he felt like a weight was being slowly lifted off his shoulders with every person that found out his secret. Both dwarves nodded, stood, and turned back to camp. "You must promise me something, though," Bilbo stopped them. "You must promise that if it comes down to me and your Intended, you will choose your Intended."

Nori nodded, and headed back to camp, but Dwalin stayed behind. "I haven't yet found my One." Of course, they all knew it was a lie after they all witnessed his very public Reunion with Bofur, but, in Nori's line of work, it was always better that no one knew who he loved to use them against him and probably just made his denial an automatic response. Bilbo only hoped that Bofur knew about it and why it had to be done so he never got hurt by the statement.

"That's a lie," Bilbo replied. He knew Dwalin well enough that he could tell when the other dwarf was lying. The King's guard barely had reason to lie and was generally a brutally honest person so, when he did have an occasion to not tell the truth, he was bad at it. He couldn't even look someone in the eye when he was lying. "And you already gave me your word when I was Haran. You will hold true to it now."

Dwalin sighed, but nodded.

"If you don't mind me asking," Bilbo continued, "who is it. I will help you to look after them so that you might not have to choose between us."

"You would protect my Intended?" Dwalin's eyes widened.

"Of course," Bilbo nodded. "I would protect my friend's Intended."

"Thank you," Dwalin said. "I don't know if his family will be happy with the match. It only just happened in the Goblin Tunnels."

"Truly?" Bilbo asked. "Then it is someone who is part of the Company." He thought for a moment and, suddenly, the realization came to him. There was only one dwarf in the entire group whose family was overly protective of. "Is it Ori?"

Dwalin nodded.

"Good," Bilbo smiled. "You two will be good for each other. And you should be spending time with him instead of pledging your services to me. I am only a hobbit now and have no connection to the royal family besides a past life."

"But you are Thorin's soul mate," Dwalin's eyes widened.

"And you will not tell him that," Bilbo's own eyes narrowed.

"You have to tell him," Dwalin agreed.

"I cannot tell him yet," Bilbo shook his head. "He and I do not need to be worried about such things."

"But you will tell him?" Dwalin asked.

Bilbo just gave Dwalin a look that not even he was sure how to interpret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wound up not being as short as I expected. Oh well. Anyway, I am proud to say that I have finally finished the first movie. Now I will head onto the second movie, of which I also have the extended edition. I hope you guys continue to enjoy this story as we move on.


	24. Apologies and Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin's gifts were always the best.

It was only after they had all settled down with full bellies and a warm fire that Bilbo realized he still had Thorin's oaken shield. In fact, he was pretty sure that he had been clutching it ever since the eagles picked him up off the cliff. Such was his fear that he might have lost his One in that moment. He had always known that Thorin lived a dangerous life and could, therefore, die at any moment, but it had never hit him until just then how great the possibility was on this venture.

What would have happened if Thorin had died by the hand of Azog just then? What would have happened to the company? Would they lose hope and give up on this whole venture or would they recklessly move forward and lose all their lives in the process? What would have happened to him? Would he be able to bear the loss of his One without the other ever knowing who he really was?

All these questions and more kept running through Bilbo's head and he found that it was even more difficult to let the shield go with the doubts building up. It was the only thing that he could touch of Thorin's. It was his only connection to his One at the moment. So he hadn't been able to let it go.

The funny thing was that Thorin hadn't even approached him to try to take it back. Surely the king had noticed that his dependable shield was gone. Surely he had seen the hobbit clutching it to his chest. Yet, he had not asked for it back. Bilbo wondered why that was, but he couldn't bring himself to puzzle it out for too long since the shield was certainly giving him some comfort.

So, it was only after most everyone had gone to bed and Dwalin took up first watch that Bilbo finally plucked up the courage to return the great oaken branch. "Master Oakenshield," he whispered as he approached the king who was currently lounging against a tall rock and trying not to cringe in pain. Thorin simply hummed his response as he looked up at Bilbo with curious, though clouded with pain, eyes. "I was hoping to give this back to you," Bilbo pressed on, holding the branch before him as gently as possible so as not to ruin the already broken strap or anything else.

"Oh," Thorin said slowly. His pain was clouding his mind and exhaustion from the previous few nights in the Misty Mountains were making him slow. "I thought you would keep it."

"Why on Earth would I do that?" Bilbo gasped. "It is precious to you. Why it's even part of your name. No, I would not even attempt to keep something so precious to you as my own. Such a thought had never even crossed my mind." He had thought to hold onto it a bit longer until Thorin had regained his strength and Bilbo no longer feared for his safety, which after some thought he decided made no sense whatsoever, but he would never even think to take it as his own.

"But you saved my life," the king replied. "In dwarven culture, we give a tool from our arsenal to whomever has saved our lives and I think that would serve you well."

That was completely untrue. If that were actually the case, weaponry would be changing hands on a nearly day-to-day basis. In fact, it wouldn't just be weaponry. Even mining tools would be exchanging hands. Being a dwarf was a dangerous business so it was practically an instinct to save one another or the species would have died out long ago. Besides both weapons and tools of trade were practically part of a dwarf's identity. They were rarely given away so it had to be extremely special circumstances.

That left Bilbo wondering just what on Earth Thorin was actually thinking, but he couldn't possibly ask without giving away the fact that he had prior knowledge of dwarven culture. Something that no one outside of the dwarves was ever supposed to have. "I couldn't possibly take this," he said instead. "I understand that you are obliged to give me something, but perhaps you could give me something that is not so precious to you. A small knife would probably suit me better. I don't think this shield will be as good for me, anyway. It is much too large and heavy for me. I prefer to be quick and light on my feet, but this would certainly get in my way. No, I believe it would be much more use on your arm than it would be on mine, though I thank you for the consideration." It was a little rude to deny such a gift in such a way, but Bilbo could think of no other way to get it into Thorin's thick skull that he could not accept such a gift.

This whole conversation was rather awkward anyway. Thorin had always been an awful gift giver to those he didn't know well. It even took him a very long time before he was able to just give gifts to Haran after they were married.

* * *

" _Here," Thorin gruffed as he dropped a poorly wrapped box into his new husband's lap as they sat beside each other in their bed._

" _What's this?" Bilbo asked, though he didn't wait for an answer before he slowly began to peel away the cloth wrappings._

_Thorin looked away so Bilbo could not see his face. "Dis was very adamant that I should give you a wedding gift."_

_Bilbo laughed. "Yes, she was telling me the same. I think she wanted this wedding to be perfect even more than we did." Thorin smiled, but he looked somewhat worried, so Bilbo decided to open the present as quickly as possible. Better to get it over with for Thorin's sake then try to drag it out._

_What he unwrapped was a beautifully made coronet that was made in a simple fashion and, as evident by the long hours that Bilbo had missed Thorin in the last weeks before their marriage ceremony, made by the prince himself. "It's beautiful," he said, picking it up as though it was a delicate flower._

" _It's made of Mithril," Thorin replied gruffly. "The most precious metal to dwarves." Bilbo, of course, knew this already being a dwarf himself, but he also knew that that was not what Thorin really meant._ The most precious metal made for the most precious of dwarves.  _He had to fight to hold back his smug grin. Who knew that Thorin would turn into such a sap when he finally accepted his One? "There are also diamonds and the jewels of the elves which supposedly shine with the light of the stars."_

_Bilbo's eyes widened. "You got the most precious material from each of the race and put it into a coronet for me. I don't know if I deserve that."_

" _You deserve it," Thorin replied immediately. "Though I couldn't get anything from the hobbits as they value flowers and food."_

_That startled a laugh out of Bilbo. "Well I think that more people should value those things too, but their favorite jewels make a lovely crown. Even the hobbits as I see you've fashioned the jewels in the shapes of flowers so it still counts."_

_After a moment's consideration, Bilbo picked the coronet off his lap and placed it upon his head. It fit perfectly, as expected from his One. "How do I look?" he asked, looking towards his new husband._

_He must have looked somewhat strange in bed wearing nothing but the most expensive coronet ever made, but the look in Thorin's eyes said otherwise. "You look amazing," he muttered, leaning in for a deep kiss._

* * *

That had been only the first of many coronets that Thorin made for him over their time together. He still had all of them placed carefully in his room and he found himself looking forward to seeing those more than all the wealth in the world. It was to be expected, though, as hobbits cared nothing for treasure and, despite what Thorin thought, everything about family and sentimentality.

Thorin took back the wooden shield with a frown. "Very well," he said. "Then you must take this instead." He pulled out a small knife and

Bilbo was almost tempted to deny that gift as well as he recognized it. Thorin was not one to carry a lot of knives, though he did often have quite a few on him just in case Bilbo ran out, but there was always at least one that was on his person. It was the first gift his grandfather ever gave to him as a child. It was even more precious then the shield and Thorin always took very good care of it, but Bilbo couldn't get out of accepting this one without giving away his knowledge of their past.

"Thank you," Bilbo said, taking the knife as carefully as possible. "I will take very good care of it."

"It's not much," Thorin said quickly. "But it is all I can give you for now. I will trade it out with something much better when we reach the mountain."

Oh good, Bilbo almost sighed. He would be able to give the precious knife back in the end after all. "That sounds nice," he smiled.

It was nice being able to talk to his One again and Bilbo wanted to do it for longer, but the longer he stood there the more the awkward silence between them got. Just as Bilbo was getting ready to give up, though, and turn to head back to his bedroll, Thorin spoke up. "What did Dwalin and Nori want from you?"

That startled Bilbo. He didn't even think that Thorin had noticed them going into the trees. He really hoped that the king didn't somehow overhear them and find about just who he was. Just in case, though, Bilbo would have to get as close to the truth as he could without giving himself away. "They were declaring their loyalty to me since I saved their king from death. I would never have expected to get such a reaction from you all just because I was the only one who was able to get up the tree in time to save you."

"We take our heroes of war very seriously," Thorin said immediately.

Of course Bilbo knew that, but "I'm not a hero of war." He had died during his very first true battle, after all. It was an honorable death, but it did not make him a hero of anything.

"You have saved my life," Thorin shook his head, "and you are helping us reclaim our mountain. Your name will be in many tales and songs. I am sorry that I did not treat you well when the journey first began, you have deserved better."

So Thorin was apologizing, that was what the gift was for. That didn't make the shock of it any less in Bilbo's opinion. Thorin rarely apologized and Bilbo was just as awkward at receiving them as Thorin was at giving them. "Thank you," Bilbo blushed and looked at his feet, "but I really do understand why you did it. You thought I'd be a liability to the company, would put everyone in danger, and just wanted to keep everyone safe, I'm sure. You don't have to apologize. I understand."

"You deserve that apology," Thorin shook his. "I will never underestimate you again."


	25. Balin's Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balin truly is one of the greatest advisors either Thorin or Bilbo could ask for.

Bilbo sighed as he settled down to take on his turn at the watch. Almost the entirety of the company tried to take over his watch for him after what he had done for their king, but he refused to make things unfair by giving up his turn at night watch. Even Dwalin, who had first watch when Bilbo had last watch, suggested that he be woken instead and Nori had attempted to quietly take it without Bilbo ever knowing. It was only lucky that Bilbo happened to have a nightmare that woke him just as he was supposed to be taking watch. It had been one of those ones that deeply shake a person, he had dreamt that he had to watch as all of his dwarves succumbed to death, and he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep anyway, which is how he convinced Nori to jest let him have his watch.

"Can I sit with you laddie?" Balin said as he came over.

"Of course," Bilbo replied calmly, though he didn't feel very calm at all. He had a feeling that he knew what was just about to happen.

* * *

" _Can I sit with you laddie?" an old dwarf came to stand by Bilbo as he spent a day out on the parapets enjoying the sun. He was quickly degrading and it had been a struggle just to pull himself out of bed to come out there with the Sickness running through his body since the day before and his heart broken the day before that. He'd even had to have Taran help him out and he knew he didn't have that much time left and he wanted to enjoy as much of it as possible before he became to weak from Sickness to do so._

" _Of course," he nodded. He didn't immediately recognize the dwarf who was sitting next to him, but when he did he couldn't help but wonder why he was there talking to him. Bilbo had seen this very dwarf by the prince's side during open court before and he knew that he must be Prince Thorin's advisor._

" _I suppose that I should introduce myself," the old dwarf said. "Balin, at your service."_

" _Haran, at yours and your family's," Bilbo replied with a slight nod of his head._

" _It is very good to finally meet you," Balin smiled. "I have heard much about you."_

" _Really?" Bilbo raised an eyebrow. He found that a little hard to believe, but he supposed that Prince Thorin probably would have complained about him at least a little when he was "stalking" the dwarf, as Thorin had called it. Or maybe he had the Prince had asked his advisor about the best way to get rid of Bilbo, though that was a little harder to believe since Bilbo didn't think Balin would ever suggest calling Bilbo out in such a way as Thorin had done in the Marketplace only a couple of days before._

" _Indeed," Balin nodded. "Thorin does speak about you a great deal. He told me that you are an archer and that you are very good. Even better than the elves, he said."_

" _That certainly is not true," Bilbo replied. It was rather strange, though, that what Thorin had said was so complimentary, but after he thought about it for a moment Bilbo decided that Balin was just softening the prince's words. Prince Thorin had probably been complaining that his Intended had to be someone who chose a weak weapon like the elves and Balin was twisting it to meet his own needs. It was probably an attempt to make Bilbo feel better, but it was only making his chest hurt more. He coughed into his hand a bit, hoping to alleviate some of the pain, but it only made things worse as it made him feel like he needed to cough again. "I don't mean to be rude, but what is it that you want from me? I don't think that the Prince's Advisor would just sit down and start a conversation with some random person without at least some reason."_

_Balin's face grew serious and he nodded slowly in acquiescence. "I was wondering if you ever planned to tell Thorin about it."_

" _About what?" Bilbo asked even though he thought he had some idea. Taran had asked him the same question around when he was first Rejected._

" _About how much his Rejection is hurting you."_

_Bilbo sighed and looked back out at the land before the mountain. "No. I do not want him to know."_

" _Why ever not?" Balin asked. "I am sure that if he knew what pain he was causing you, he would do everything in his power to fix it."_

_Bilbo couldn't stop a sad little smile from forcing its way onto his face as he shook his head. "I wanted for him to Accept me willingly. Not because he pitied me for feeling pain, but because he actually liked me."_

" _Wanted?" Balin raised a brow._

" _He has made it quite clear that he wants nothing to do with me. As his intended or otherwise." Bilbo decided he didn't want to have this conversation anymore and so he tried to stand and go, but Balin put a hand on his shoulder before he could._

" _What will you do when the Sickness hits you?" he asked, which Bilbo thought was a little funny. Anyone who knew that Bilbo had been Rejected had always asked "if," but Balin was so perceptive that he knew it was "when" not "if."_

" _Then I shall suffer through it until the end," Bilbo replied with the same answer he gave everyone else who had asked him such a thing._

_Balin looked resigned, but he nodded and let his hand slip from Bilbo's shoulder so he could get up. Unfortunately, the moment Bilbo stood with every intention of walking away looking strong, he became light headed and his knees buckled beneath him. It was lucky that Balin was there to catch him and the older dwarf slowly lowered him down onto the floor. "You are already suffering the Sickness aren't you?" Bilbo forced his eyes opened and saw that Balin's own had become wide and concerned._

" _It is merely a fever," Bilbo shook his head. "It will go away soon enough."_

_Balin opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted as Taran rushed over calling Bilbo's dwarven name. "I told you you shouldn't have come out here when you were so sick," he frowned once he had ascertained that Bilbo was comparatively fine. "I'm so sorry about this," he said to Balin. "My little brother is terribly ill and I shouldn't have let him come out here until he was better." Both brothers knew that Bilbo would have tried to do it anyway, which is why Taran had agreed to it at all, but that didn't stop his brother from complaining about it._

" _It's fine," Balin said with a polite smile. "I was glad to finally have this chance to speak to him after hearing so much about him. You should probably take him home. He doesn't look very good at all."_

" _Thank you," Taran said with a polite nod._

" _Have a good day," Bilbo said as his brother helped him to his feet. Whatever Thorin said about him, he wanted Balin to know that he was in no way a rude dwarf. He could give a proper farewell even when he was sick._

_Balin nodded at him with sad eyes that even Bilbo could make out through his bleary sight and Taran took him home where he would lay in bed for the rest of his days._

* * *

"You aren't going to tell him are you?" Balin asked, cutting straight to the chase this time.

"Tell who what?" Bilbo asked, hoping that he was wrong about what the old dwarf's next words would be.

"Haran," Balin gave a stern look and Bilbo sighed.

"I don't understand how you all keep figuring me out. I thought I was doing a very good job of hiding it."

"It is my job to be perceptive," Balin shrugged, "which is why that statement will not distract me from my original question."

Bilbo sighed again and slumped over himself. "I don't really know," he said after a moment's thought. "Right now, neither of us can be distracted by this whole thing. It is enough already that I have all these memories in my head confusing me. I don't want anyone else, especially Thorin, to have to deal with it too."

"Has it occurred to you that we might want to help?" Balin asked kindly.

Bilbo laughed softly. "Of the four people that have found out about me, everyone has wanted to help me, but it just feels wrong. When I first got my memories back, I wanted so badly to be who I was, but the more people start treating me like I am who I as the more I wish that I could just be who I am now. It's just so confusing."

"I understand," Balin nodded, "but perhaps you should stop thinking of the two as separate entities. You are who you are. The others will understand that as soon as you understand it yourself."

"But will they really accept me once they know what I was. Everyone knew me in my past life and they'll expect me to be just the same."

"I have been watching your interactions with the dwarves of this company and I don't think that their treating of you have changed too much. If I'm correct, I would say that Fili, Kili, Dwalin, Nori, and Bifur as well as myself are the only ones who actually know about your past life."

"Bifur?" Bilbo cut in without meaning to. He hadn't even known that Bifur had recognized him.

"Of course," Balin nodded. "Bifur can only speak in Khuzdul, but he has spoken to you before when you were distracted and you answered him without a thought about it. He and I were the only ones close enough to hear it, but Bifur is just as perceptive as I am since his injury has made it harder for him to communicate. Now, as I was saying, none of them have really started treating you very differently. Fili and Kili have only started calling you Uncle and listening to your word with a bit more respect, but that could also come from just spending a lot of time with you on this company as you were doing before they even found out about you. Dwalin and Nori are the most drastic changes with them trying to protect you more, but they would do that for anyone who had risked their lives so willingly for our King. True, they're trying a little bit harder than they would for a stranger, but you have become our friend throughout this journey, so that is hardly a factor. We would not give such trust to anyone even if they wound up being the Intended of the King until they earned it. As for Bifur and I, you haven't even noticed us treating you differently even though we both noticed some time ago. I don't think it's our way of treating you that has changed, but your way of perceiving it. You believe that we'll treat you differently when we find out about your past life, so that is how you see it."

Bilbo had to think this over for some time before he finally grinned at his own stupidity. Balin was right. No one was really treating him differently at all. It was all just in his head. "I don't know what it is about you that makes me talk so easily," Bilbo said. Balin had always had that affect on both him and Thorin and he could never understand how. It was always good, though, as Balin was the best one to go to to sort out the very rare fights that they had because of simple misunderstandings. "But thank you."

"You're welcome of course," Balin nodded. "I have to ask, though. Are you afraid if you tell Thorin that he will treat you like he used to or that he won't?"

"I don't know," Bilbo shook his head. The truth was that he was afraid of both. What if Thorin found out about him, but only wanted him to be Haran? Someone that he had already tried and failed to be completely like. What if he told Thorin and was Rejected once more because he wasn't Haran? It had been hard enough to get him to accept him as a dwarf; he didn't even know if it would be possible now with him as a Hobbit.

"I think you should at least give him a chance," Balin said before standing, patting his shoulder lightly, and walking over to his bedroll.

Bilbo slumped even farther into himself at that thought. He wanted to give Thorin the chance, he really did, but he was just so afraid about what that would lead to. There were so many things that could go wrong, even more so on a journey like this, for only a slight chance of happiness. Bilbo just couldn't risk it. Not now.

Possibly not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one got a lot more introspective and emotional then I was really expecting it to be. I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway. I'll start back up on the adventure on this next chapter. Please feel free to comment and review as it will all help me improve my writing.


	26. Waking Sleeping Dwarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking sleeping dwarves is a dangerous business, but sometimes it just has to be done.

"Wake up!" Bilbo hissed under his breath as he shook Thorin's shoulder as carefully as he could. The sun was just rising and the rest of the group would be waking soon, but he had put this off for far too long. "Wake up!"

All at once Thorin's eyes snapped open and he lashed out with his sword that he had kept close at hand. It was only Bilbo's quick reflexes and the fact that he knew Thorin would react that way to being woken in such a way from previous experiences with his One that had him jumping out of the way just in time. He had miscalculated how much quicker Thorin would be when they were in such a dangerous situation. The only other times he had woken his husband was when they were safe at their home.

* * *

_Bilbo woke from a particularly horrible nightmare in a cold sweat mixed with the burning of his skin. They had just recently found the Blue Mountains to be hospitable enough to live and erected homes far to the West of Erebor, but his nightmares of the dragon had not ceased. Nor had the sudden pains that he would get when he thought of the beast burning him alive. He dealt with it as he could and generally he was well, but this particular had been truly horrible and the pain was so much that he could see white flashes even in the darkness of the night. It took everything that he had not to cry out and wake Thorin, or anyone else in the house they shared with Dis and her family. He didn't want to worry them, so he just gripped the thin blankets as hard as he could and waited it out._

_It was only after a long stretch of time had passed and the pain had dimmed slightly that the sounds around him was able to work their way into his conscious. He could hear the entirety of the outside world, crickets, birds, and other such beasts, which was strange as the mountain they used to live in kept all those sounds far away. Now, he sometimes found them a bit calming. Especially when he woke from the nightmares where the only sounds of life he could hear were the screams of his fellow dwarfs and the dragon laughing at their pain. There was something else, though. A bitten off sound of distress and then another and another. All coming from his left where his husband lay sleeping._

_With the overwhelming pain still coursing through his right side it was much harder than Bilbo would have liked to pull himself into a sitting position. When he was finally up straight and not using his only good arm to keep him, he leaned over and shook Thorin's shoulder. "Wake up," he whispered as calmly as he could. "Wake up, my love."_

_He was expecting Thorin to act out, but he certainly had never expected to do so so violently. In the blink of an eye his husband was on top of him and there was a knife to his throat. The sudden movement made Bilbo cry out as his already pained shoulder was slammed hard against a bed that wasn't very soft at all. His vision blurred with white and black spots as tears quickly welled up and slipped from his eyes._

" _Mahal!" Thorin gasped, pulling away from his husband. "Mahal! Haran! Are you okay? Haran!"_

" _I'm fine," Bilbo gasped out when he could finally find the breath to do so. It came out sounding more pained than he really meant it to, but there wasn't much he could do to stop it. His vision still hadn't returned and he still had to take gasping breaths just to feel like he was getting any oxygen at all._

" _Sh," Thorin wiped the tears from Bilbo's eyes carefully as he whispered coalmining words. "That's it. Sssh. Just take deep breaths. Sh. That's it. Sh."_

" _I'm fine," Bilbo said again, though this time he was actually able to back it up with a small smile._

" _I'm so sorry," Thorin muttered, leaning over Bilbo so their faces were only just barely apart. "I'm so sorry."_

" _I'm fine," Bilbo said again reaching up to caress Thorin's cheek. The expression on his husbands face was concerned and he really didn't like it at all. He would much rather have Thorin smiling at him. "Are you okay? You were having a nightmare."_

" _Do not worry about me, my One, you are injured and I have just made it worse."_

" _It was an accident," Bilbo shook his head. "I should have been more careful when I was waking you. But I am worried about you so you have to tell me once and for all that you are truly okay."_

" _I am okay," Thorin reassured. "I was just dreaming about the dragon."_

_Bilbo pulled his husband closer to him despite Thorin's hesitation to get anywhere near his injured shoulder. "We'll take back our home, Thorin. One day, we will take back our home."_

" _Will we really?"_

" _I promise," Bilbo nodded. "Now sleep. Night changes many thoughts." He would not be able to sleep himself, he knew, but just having Thorin so close to him would calm his mind. Hopefully, it would calm his pain too._

* * *

"What are you doing?" Thorin hissed when he finally decided that there was no imminent danger nearby. "I could have killed you."

"I hear wargs," Bilbo whispered. "They aren't close, but I've heard them for a while and they are continually getting closer. I don't think they've caught our scent yet, but I want to go and check how far they really are and I thought that you might want to wake the others to pack up camp while I do."

Thorin nodded. "Very well. If you are right and the wargs are getting closer, it won't be much longer before they catch our scent. It will be best to head out as soon as possible."

"My thoughts as well," Bilbo agreed. "I won't be long."

"Be careful," Thorin replied. "Don't let them see you."

"I won't," and Bilbo was off. Climbing the rocks until he reached a precipice that he could look over and see far into the distance. Hobbits didn't have sight as good as elves, but they were pretty darn close to it. It was a good thing to because he could just barely see the wargs overcoming a peak off in the distance.

He did not, however, need such good sight to see something else to worry about that was much closer to them. He had to warn the company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the second movie begins. Sorry guys. I know this was kind of a short chapter, but it was an intermediate chapter, so I hope it's okay. I hope you guys like it.


	27. Racing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo always knew Bombur was the fastest dwarf around, but he still manages to surprise everyone else with it.

Bilbo rushed back to the group to find the whole camp packed and the dwarves staring up at where he had climbed. Thorin immediately started asking questions and was joined with the rest of the group so that Bilbo literally had to yell at them just to tell them about the monster that was lurking nearby. Amazingly enough, Gandalf actually knew exactly what he was talking about. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"There is a house," Gandalf suggested, "not far from here where we…might take refuge."

"Whose house?" Thorin demanded. "Is he friend or foe?"

"Neither," Gandalf replied. "He will help us or…he will kill us." Well those weren't the best odds in the world, but they really didn't have any choice. The wargs were closing in and even the dwarves, who didn't have nearly as good hearing as the sensitive hobbit ears Bilbo now possessed, could hear the howling as clear as day.

They ran.

It wasn't the wargs, however, that caught onto their tail. Bilbo flinched as the loud growling sound followed them out of the forest and into the field. They could see the house before them, but the large bear-like beast crashed through the trees to chase them. Bombur was so frightened that he pulled out his famous sprinting skills.

* * *

" _Bombur?" Bilbo asked when he found that very dwarf all alone in a dark corner. He didn't know the Ur brothers very well as they were originally from Moria and had joined their group along the way, but he was trying to get to know them. Especially Bombur who was such a good cook that he was appointed him the head of the kitchens in the Blue Mountains since their old head cooks had perished within Erebor. Bombur was a cheerful dwarf most of the time, though he was very quiet and hardly said a word to any of them unless he was commanding his kitchen. It certainly wasn't usual to find him huddled in dark corners. "Why aren't you at dinner? The meal you cooked was lovely?"_

" _I'm not hungry," Bombur mumbled._

" _Not hungry?" now Bilbo was sure something had to be wrong. If there was one thing that everyone knew about their head cook, it was that he was always hungry. No matter what time of day it was, if food were set before him he would eat as much of it as possible._

" _I ate while I cooked," Bombur amended._

" _Indeed," Bilbo nodded, but he sat beside Bombur anyway. "Then may I ask why you are here instead of enjoying desert?"_

" _I don't want any," Bombur shook his head._

" _Well I do," Bilbo replied, "and I would like it very much if you would accompany me to get some. My arm is paining me so I might need help dishing everything up." It was a little unfair to use his injury in such a way, especially because he had learned how to take care of himself one-armed already and whenever he did need help Thorin would help him, but he thought it was best to use any means necessary. He stood and offered his good arm to Bombur. "Besides, the best time to talk about upsetting things is over some sweet treats."_

_Bombur looked up with wide eyes before scrambling to stand and bow to the prince's husband. "None of that now," Bilbo waved his hand at the other, "there are sweets waiting for us and I would very much like to get some." He turned to go back to the kitchen from whence he came and Bombur scrambled to follow him._

* * *

_When they entered the dining hall Bilbo's eyes immediately alighted on his husband and his family who were still eating at their table. He had left early because his arm really was paining him and now Thorin was giving him a questioning look, ready to stand and assist him, but Bilbo just shook his head at his husband. If a prince should join them, Bilbo was sure that he would not get anything else out of the dwarf cook. Thorin nodded and sat back down._

" _Now then," Bilbo said to Bombur who already had a plate and was hungrily looking at the deserts. "What would be best do you think?"_

_Bombur gave a wide-eyed look to Bilbo. "I'll have you know that everything that I cook is the best," he said. If there were one thing that Bombur would always be so proud of that he was willing to defend it it would be his food._

" _Indeed?" Bilbo laughed. "Then I shall have to have a bit of all of it to test this theory." There was no way that he was going to be able to eat all that, their desert table was quite the spread today, but Bombur didn't need to know that._

_Bombur nodded and immediately went about piling much more food than Bilbo was expecting onto the plate. He didn't say anything, though. The more the better. Once he was done with that, Bilbo led him to a table that didn't have too many people at it. It was near the back and very out of the way so Bombur wouldn't feel like people were all staring at them._

" _Well I am stuffed," Bilbo said once he had taken a bite of everything that Bombur had put before him. He hadn't been very hungry to begin with and it was a struggle just to eat that much. "I do have to agree with you, though. Your food is very good. It is too bad that the rest of this shall have to go to waste since there will be no way I can eat it now."_

" _No!" Bombur gasped. "You can't waste perfectly good sweets like that!"_

" _I know," Bilbo shook his head sadly. "I don't want people to think that I'm being wasteful. We have so little food as it is that I'm not sure they would be happy with it." It was true. They had so little food that community eating was even more rare than it had been inside Erebor. They only ever did it when they had gathered enough food to feast or when the majority of their stored food was on the edge of expiration, but everyone was very careful not to waste any of the food. All of it would be eaten by the end of the day. "Perhaps you could help me eat it."_

_Bombur hesitated for only a moment before he nodded determinedly and began his feast. He was scarfing the food down like he hadn't eaten in days and that made Bilbo frown, but he made sure not to comment on it until he was absolutely certain that Bombur had had his fill._

" _Good," Bilbo smiled. "Now that you've had your fill of sweet things, will you tell me what is the matter?"_

_Bombur looked like he was weirdly between wanting to be sick that he had eaten so much and completely delighted that he had eaten so much. "There's nothing the matter," he claimed._

" _I don't believe you," Bilbo said, "and I shall continue to ask you until you tell me the truth."_

_Bombur frowned, but he really couldn't deny the husband of a prince so he finally gave in and began telling Bilbo about him being made fun of about how fat he was. Once he had started, it was almost impossible for him to stop until it was all out, but Bilbo sat and listened to the entirety of the thing. It wasn't uncommon for dwarves to make fun of each other. They were hardy folk who were built tough, but sometimes they forgot and went too far. Apparently they had done so with Bombur._

" _They say I'm fat and slow," Bombur finished._

" _Well I think that you are pleasantly plump," Bilbo grinned. "You can always tell when someone knows good food if they are pleasantly plump." Bombur grinned proudly at that. "As for the slow part, I am sure they have never seen you in the kitchen." Before Bilbo lost mobility in his arm, he used to love to cook every now and again, and now he sometimes went into the kitchen to pull one of the assistants aside to get that satisfaction. Every time he went, he was always amazed at how fast the head cook could move. He was pretty sure that he had never seen a dwarf move faster except when they were running from the dragon. "In fact, I propose we have a race."_

_Bombur paled. "I don't think that's necessary," he said pleadingly._

" _Nonsense," Bilbo shook his head. "It will be very good for you and I think everyone will see just what you're made of. I will go and talk to King Thror right now to get it set up."_

* * *

_Races were not common things among dwarves, even the short race that Bilbo had suggested that was just meant to test the dwarves' ability to sprint, but every dwarf loved a good challenge. More people than Bilbo was honestly expecting entered the race and even more showed up to the event. Both Bifur and Bofur had entered in order to support Bombur since Bilbo didn't really give the head cook a choice. Dwalin probably would have entered if it weren't for the fact that events like these were the best times for assassins to strike and he felt his place was beside the royal couple. Several other dwarves of all shapes and sizes were lined up at the starting line._

" _Don't you worry," Bilbo said to Bombur. "Just close your eyes and run your heart out. Don't even stop until your tired. If you win, I will make sure you get the freshest fruits to cook with during our next yield." Bombur's eyes lit up. The head cook wasn't usually allowed such luxuries as he wasn't able to afford the best crops and the feasts were always held long after the food was no longer fresh. He nodded and turned back towards the finish line with a determined look._

" _What are you up to?" Thorin asked when Bilbo made it to his seat next to his husband._

" _Just a little confidence booster," Bilbo replied._

" _You planned this whole race just so that you could give one dwarf a boost in confidence?" Thorin raised a brow._

" _That one dwarf happens to be our head cook," Bilbo replied, "Without his confidence, how are we ever supposed to get good food?" They both knew it was a lie, though. Bombur would never allow his food to suffer like that. Bilbo was doing this purely for Bombur's benefit._

_The flag was waved in the air and Bombur shot off like lightning. He quickly overcame any dwarf that happened to get a head start on him, passed the finish line and kept going. Everyone was staring at him with wide eyes and even Bilbo hadn't expected him to continue quite so far._

" _Go Bombur!" called Bofur, doing his best to chase after his brother even as he was quickly left behind and was even more quickly running out of energy. Suddenly the entirety of the crowd was chasing after Bombur, cheering him on and wondering just how far he could go._

_When Bombur finally stopped, because he tripped and not because he ran out of energy, he had beaten the last known record of how far a dwarf could sprint and how quickly he could do so. Bofur helped his gasping brother to sit and Bilbo made his way to the front of the crowd._

" _Did I make it to the finish line?" Bombur asked._

" _Make it?" Bilbo laughed. "The finish line is way back there. You beat everyone there and then continued to beat the world record. Congratulations!" The whole crowd clapped and cheered and it wasn't long before Bombur was well renowned as the fastest dwarf in the entirety of the Blue Mountains._

* * *

Several people challenged Bombur to races after that and he was always happy to accept them. Bilbo was happy to see that the dwarf had grown more into himself. He was proud of him.

Now he was showing that talent in order to get to the great beast, but, with his eyes closed, he didn't even realize he was upon the door until he ran right into it. Everyone followed suit until Thorin finally lifted the latch that none of the others had seen. The door swung open and the dwarves rushed inside just in time to shut the door on the bears face.

Up close, the beast was much more frightening than Bilbo had thought he was. Even with the training from his life as Haran, he still couldn't help but shake a bit as he took out his sword to defend his family if the need arose. He was still a very small creature after all.


	28. The Fur Coat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin's fur coat has always been and probably will always be a great comfort to Bilbo as he sleeps.

"That is our host," Gandalf says. The entirety of the group looks at the wizard incredulously. Honestly, who in their right mind would actually take them to visit the home of a creature that would like nothing more than to tear them limb from limb? Of course, only after Bilbo thinks this does the thought occur to him that that was what their entire quest is all about.

They were safe for now, though, and that was all that mattered after Gandalf's assurances that their host was most certainly not under some sort of dark spell.

Suddenly, Bilbo realized that he was exhausted. He kept forgetting that his Hobbit body could not take the same amount of physical exertion as his old body used to. His legs felt weak and he stumbled over to a pile of hay to collapse. He actually couldn't remember the last time he felt so very worn out. These last couple of days had been both physically and mentally exhausting and he felt like he wanted to sleep for another week at least.

Unfortunately, no matter how much he tossed and turned, he could not find a comfortable enough position. The hay was just too poky and he was too cold. It was strange that he should feel less able to sleep in a house with a roof then outside where there were dangers everywhere, but, he thought, he must be so exhausted that he just couldn't fall asleep. It had happened to him as a child, but, unfortunately, only his parents had been able to cure it for him.

Suddenly, he felt a warm cloak rest over his body and two warm bodies snuggled up on either side of him. One arm went under his head until he had a shoulder for a pillow and was pressed against that side. The arms of the other wrapped around his waist, causing the cloak to wrap even tighter around him and pressed against his back.

"You shouldn't steal your Uncle's cloak," Bilbo grinned, but he pulled the cloak closer to his face so that he would more easily be able to smell the owner.

"We didn't steal it," Kili replied.

"Uncle Thorin lent it to us to give to you," Fili continued.

"Whatever you say," Bilbo mumbled. He couldn't really muster up anything else to say when he was finally falling asleep.

"Get some sleep Uncle," Fili whispered.

"You too," Bilbo replied before sleep finally overtook him.

* * *

_After the Sleep, Bilbo found it much harder than he thought it should be to regain his strength. He wasn't sick anymore, but he always felt exhausted, especially when Thorin wasn't around. It had only been a couple days, of course, but he thought that he should really have his strength back by now. He was stronger just before the Sleep than he was several days after it._

_It was especially annoying when he was actually trying to spend time with Thorin, a prince who had many meetings and increasingly less free time, and he just couldn't stay awake. On this particular afternoon, he had finally convinced Thorin to join him outside the mountain for a nice picnic. There were, of course, guards nearby, one of which was Thorin's good friend Dwalin and Bilbo made sure to pack enough for them to eat, but it was nice to get away from all the people in the mountain._

" _This is the third time you've yawned in as many minutes. Are you tired?" Thorin asked._

" _I apologize," Bilbo replied. "My strength still refuses to return to me."_

" _Then sleep. It will help you regain your strength." For the first couple of days after the Sleep, Thorin would always panic whenever he found Bilbo sleeping in the random places that the exhaustion would take him. He was always somewhere safe, but Thorin feared that he might fall back into the Sleep if he slept without the prince nearby. He had since gotten over such a ridiculous idea, and had started trying to convince Bilbo to sleep more._

" _I don't want to sleep now. You have meetings later today and I will sleep then."_

_Thorin frowned and sat awkwardly for a few minutes before sighing and pulling Bilbo's head into his lap. They were still very awkward when talking to each other, they couldn't just become so close after all that had happened between them but were trying to work through there problems, but they had quickly gotten used to the cuddling aspect of relationships. Bilbo actually really liked cuddling and Thorin liked to have Bilbo close to him as much as possible._

_The prince took off his fur cloak and rested it over Bilbo's body. "Sleep," he whispered, stroking Bilbo's hair, and the newly added courting braid, back._

* * *

_When Bilbo woke again, he felt very refreshed and very warm in his comfortable bed. Apparently, he had slept too long and someone carried him to his room so that Thorin could go to his meetings. He pulled the warm cloak closer to his face and breathed in his Intended's scent before wrapping it around himself and heading out to the dining area of his father's house where something that smelled delicious was being cooked._

" _I see you are finally awake," Vorin said. "I have invited Prince Thorin to dine with us tonight and your mother is cooking up his favorite dish."_

" _We had his favorite dish for lunch," Bilbo frowned. "How do you know what his favorite dish is anyway? I don't think that I told you."_

" _We asked him," his mother replied. "It is curiously the same as yours."_

" _No it's not," Bilbo smiled. "He just told you that so you would make my favorite."_

_Vorin laughed and Tara just shook her head with a grin. "Well then he must like you very much. He will be here very shortly."_

" _Have I really been sleeping that long?" Bilbo asked._

" _Indeed," Vorin said. "It gave us quite a shock when the prince carried you here. You usually aren't such a deep sleeper."_

_Not even over the last couple of days where exhaustion overtook him, had Bilbo ever slept for so long without anything waking him. Usually it was either someone waking him when trying to move him or Thorin waking him to make sure that he was okay before escorting him home. But the prince had been so warm and comfortable that he just hadn't even stirred._

" _He brought me back himself?" Bilbo asked. Not that he thought Thorin wouldn't do such a thing, but he didn't expect the prince to have time to carry him all the way back before getting changed to go to his meeting._

" _Indeed," Tara nodded._

" _And that is no small feat," Vorin grinned, making Bilbo glare at him. All dwarves were heavy because of all their muscles, but his parents liked to taunt him with it because, as a child, he had always loved to be carried and was very upset when he grew too heavy for them to easily carry him around like they used to._

" _Quite lovely muscles on that one," Tara agreed._

" _He's mine," Bilbo glared at his mother. "Where is Taran?" His brother would surely take his side._

" _I am here brother," Taran replied as he came into the dining hall. He must have gotten back from training recently because his hair and face were still slightly damp from sweat, but his clothes were already changed into something more acceptable for dinner. "Nice coat."_

" _You are all against me," Haran rolled his eyes, but he was saved from any more taunts as a loud knock on the door sounded. He rushed to the door before any of his family could and pulled it open to find Thorin waiting patiently in the same clothes he had worn for the picnic._

" _Am I late?" he asked._

" _No," Bilbo shook his head. "You are quite early. You're meetings must have ended very early if you had time to go back to your rooms to change out of your royal garbs."_

" _Yes, well," Thorin shrugged awkwardly. "May I come in?"_

" _Oh!" Bilbo gasped, having not even noticed that he was blocking Thorin's entrance. "Of course. Amad is almost finished cooking and everyone else is in the dining area." Thorin nodded. "Will you be joining us as well, Mister Dwalin?" he asked the dwarf who stood in the shadows behind the prince._

" _I was only escorting the prince here," Dwalin replied._

" _And you will be escorting him home?" Bilbo asked and Dwalin nodded. "What will you be doing while you wait for him to finish eating?"_

" _I will wait here," Dwalin said._

" _Then you will wait inside where there is food enough for everyone and more. My mother always makes too much and I will not have anyone left outside while there is good food inside."_

_Dwalin hesitated, but Bilbo looked to Thorin who nodded at Dwalin so the dwarf finally entered. He gave a respectable bow before raising a brow. "Nice coat," he said, knowing very well who it actually belonged to._

_Bilbo rolled his eyes, but took Thorin's arm without a word to escort the two to the dining area. He wasn't going to make a big deal about it and have to give up the warm coat._

* * *

When Bilbo woke again, he found himself alone, though the warm fur cloak was still wrapped around him. There wasn't even any other dwarf bodies around the haystacks where he was sure many of them had slept. He could, however, hear them all muttering by the front door. They seemed to be arguing with Gandalf, probably about the loud noise of someone, more than likely their host, chopping wood outside.

Bilbo sighed and stood. He should go over and see if he could be the middleman between the dwarves and the wizard. Sometimes that seemed to be the only way to get anything done in this group. He stared forlornly at the cloak, wanting to pull it over his shoulders just like he had in his dream, but finally decided to just fold it and carry it back to its owner.

"I say we slip out the back," Bilbo heard Nori suggest as he got closer to the group.

"I'm not running from anything. Beast or no," Dwalin growled in reply.

Bilbo slipped the cloak into Fili's hands before making his way to the front of the group as Gandalf explained what they had to do. He hadn't meant to volunteer himself to be the one to join Gandalf out to meet the big man, but that's what happened and he wasn't sure that he was at all happy about it.


	29. Importance of Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo had learned long ago that fear was a good thing to feel as long as one could use it the right way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to start pulling slightly away from the movie verse. It'll only be small changes right now, but there will be some bigger changes later on. Thank you so much for reading thus far and I hope you continue to like it.

Bilbo was scared. How could he not be? This big bear of a man was massive even to Gandalf and Bilbo was the smallest race known. He was absolutely certain that Beorn, as Gandalf had said his name was, could crush him without a second thought. Of course he was scared, but he was not ashamed of it.

As a dwarf, fear was seen as a weakness. Those who were too afraid to fight were shamed and some, those that promised their loyalties but ran during the actual fight, lost their beards and were banished. The only useful emotion on the battlefield to a dwarf is courage. Those who fling themselves into battle without a second thought to themselves were considered the greatest of warriors in dwarven culture.

Hobbits, on the other hand, learned that fear was absolutely necessary for survival. Fear was what caused one to be so cautious in the middle of danger. Those whose fear made them flinch away from danger were much more likely to dodge an attack than someone he just goes swinging into the fray. That fear would help them live to fight another day so they could protect their loved ones. In fact, in hobbit culture, those who felt no fear were called absolute fools.

Of course, Bilbo was certain that there was no one in the world who never felt fear. Even the dwarves, though they made sure to hide it.

So, no, Bilbo was not ashamed that he was afraid of the giant shapeshifter who could kill the entirety of his company in all sorts of gruesome ways. That did not, however, mean that he would let it get the best of him. He had long since learned to overcome fear and use it to his advantage in battle.

* * *

_Vorin did not know his own strength when he began teaching his sons. Bilbo had watched his brother endure the sword training of their father and had seen the many cuts and bruises that he got at the end of the day and had definitely not been looking forward to starting his own lessons. Unfortunately, his birthday was several days ago and his father had been teaching him everyday. Taran sometimes joined them, when their father didn't have enough time to teach them both separately, but he was also unable to control his strength when fighting Bilbo and was also not as good of a fighter as their father and so made many more dangerous mistakes._

_Today was to be one of those days that his brother joined them._

_Bilbo took his stance opposite Taran. He was still wobbly and he felt awkward standing as he was, but Vorin had already told him that he was doing it right, so he stayed as he was. Taran, on the other hand, looked much more confident in his stance, having several years more experience than Bilbo to get used to it._

" _Ready," Vorin said, his sword out and ready to intervene if at all necessary, which it always was. "And fight!"_

_Taran advanced immediately and Bilbo fell out of his stance in order to flee from his brother. He didn't turn his back, having already been scolded more often than not for doing so in the past, but he stumbled backwards, only just barely staying out of his brother's reach._

_That didn't last long, of course. Taran had a bigger stride and more balance in his continued stance than Bilbo and he caught up with him in mere moments. Then the brute force began. Taran was aiming for places near his sword, as he was sure their father had told him to, giving Bilbo enough to be able to move his sword that little bit to block._

" _Stand your ground," his dad scolded him. "Don't keep blocking. Stand up for yourself. Fight."_

_Each clash of metal rang through Bilbo's hands and it wasn't long before they were aching and only a little longer before they lost whatever strength of grip he had gained over the last few weeks._

_One particularly well-aimed hit and Bilbo's sword was flying out of his hands. Unfortunately, Taran hadn't been expecting it and was already attacking with a blow that was sure to leave some damage. Their father also hadn't been expecting it and, though he launched forward to try to deflect the blow, he was not going to make it in time._

_Out of blind panic, Bilbo leapt to the side, rolled to his sword, picked it up and swang it back towards the one attacking him. His sword was knocked back and he was forced to dodge out of the way of another attack. He was forced to continue the process, leaping out of the way of attacks while blindly attacking his attacker, until his father's voice broke through the haze of panic._

" _First blood," he said. When fighting against his father, they only stopped when Bilbo was exhausted or his hands hurt so badly that he could no longer keep hold of his sword, but, when fighting against his brother, they were actually dueling. In a proper duel, there are set standards of when the battle should end. Usually, the standard was when one or both of the fighters could no longer fight, but their dad had decided it would be best only to allow them to go to first blood, which meant that the first person who got injured was the loser._

_Bilbo looked down at himself, fully expecting to be bleeding somewhere as he was always the loser during these things, but he neither felt nor saw a wound._

" _Good job son," Vorin grinned at him, much closer than he should have been. Only then did Bilbo notice a small cut on his father's cheek and the fact that Vorin had pulled out his own sword and had been the one fighting him instead of his brother. Now that he thought about it, he had been swinging higher than he normally would when facing his brother who hadn't yet grown to his father's height, but he had been so lost to his panic that he hadn't even noticed. "It seems you fight better when you ignore me completely."_

" _I didn't mean to father," Bilbo defended immediately. "I don't know what came over me."_

" _Don't mind it," Vorin waved him off. "Some of us have been known to be more quick on their feet. I assumed you would be more like me and your brother, so I have been teaching you to stay grounded and move as little as possible, but you are much better when you are allowed to move. We shall have to change up your learning, but I am sure that you will improve drastically now that we know the truth."_

" _Thank you father," Bilbo grinned._

" _Now, let us go back inside for dinner. Your mother will not be happy if we are late again."_

" _Yes father," both boys said as they packed up their things and followed their father home._

" _Good job brother," Taran grinned, slapping Bilbo's shoulder so hard that he tumbled slightly forward before regaining his balance. "I thought I was going to skewer you when you lost your sword. Then you just have to go and show off. I would have had quite the scar if dad hadn't jumped in the way. Then you even held your own against him. Nicely done."_

" _I didn't do it on purpose," Bilbo said again. "I really don't know what came over me."_

" _Well, whatever it was, you better learn how to control it better, because you'd be almost unstoppable when you did. As long as you actually get some muscle on those bones of yours of course."_

_Bilbo rolled his eyes. He was skinny for a dwarf, one of the reasons that a lot of the other kids said he wasn't actually a proper dwarf, but that didn't mean that he didn't have any muscles. In fact, his body was pure muscle with all the training that his father put them through. Even before the actually weapons training, Vorin always liked to put his sons through vigorous exercises to make sure that they would be up to par with the rest of the guard, if not better, when they became old enough to join._

_Still, he took what his brother said to heart. Maybe he could find a way to make this work for him even if it wasn't the conventional way. He only had to learn to control his fear._

* * *

"Good morning," Gandalf called out over the chopping of wood.

Bilbo took one look at the massive and annoyed face of the bear of a man and quickly hid behind the wizard's cloak. Unfortunately, that didn't last very long and, the moment Gandalf moved to the side, he was revealed and Beorn immediately brandished his axe asking if Bilbo was a dwarf.

"No," Gandalf says. "He's a hobbit." He continues to generally compliment Bilbo and prove that he is certainly not a dwarf, even if he once had been, though Gandalf didn't know that. The wizard didn't want to have the bear man know of the dwarves until absolutely necessary, but Bilbo could see the mess that was just waiting to happen. Beorn had already proven that he didn't like surprises when he brandished his axe at just the sight of Bilbo, even though hobbits were generally seen as creatures who could do no harm even by those who didn't even know what they were, and continually surprising him with pairs of dwarves was simply not a good idea in Bilbo's opinion. It was just best to get them all out in the open and they could deal with the consequences whether or not the bear of a man let them stay or made them go.

"We are travelling with 13 dwarves, though," he spoke up, though he was sure that his voice shook in the face of the giant man. He was still afraid, but that wouldn't stop him from doing what he thought was best for his family.

Gandalf gaped at him while Beorn snarled and brandished his axe once more.


	30. The Cruelty of Orcs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo knows just how cruel orcs can be. He has been a witness to it himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this chapter is a bit darker than what I have written thus far in this story. I hope you enjoy it, though.

"We were being chased by a pack of orcs," Bilbo hurried on before any of the dwarves could come racing out with their own weapons out and ready to defend him, "as Gandalf said, and took shelter within your home. We did not mean to inconvenience you, as we had no idea that you did not like dwarves when we entered your home. Gandalf only informed us after the fact. Had we known, we would never have trespassed on your lovely home. We will leave immediately, if you'd like us to, only we've been travelling for many months now and this has been the first good rest we have had in the weeks since the goblins found us in the Misty Mountains. If it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience, would you allow us to stay in your home for a few days longer so that we may regain our strength before heading towards Mirkwood."

"You will never make it all the way to Mirkwood," the beast of a man replied. "The orcs' numbers are growing and you all are on foot."

Bilbo frowned. He hadn't yet allowed himself to worry about that, choosing instead to worry about one major problem at a time, but Beorn did have a good point. "Do you know of another way we might take that would be safer?"

"There is no other way across these plains that would be safer than the way you plan," Beorn shook his head. "Tell me, why is it that you are so determined to go through that forest?"

"We are simply taking Master Baggins to the Iron Hills to establish some sort of trade with the dwarves of that region and the Shire," Gandalf cut in, trying to get the conversation back under his control, but Beorn scowled at Gandalf before he could say anything more.

"Tell me why you are so determined to go through the forest," he demanded, turning back towards Bilbo.

"We are travelling on an errand of utmost importance," Bilbo replied honestly. That was all it seemed the beast of a man really wanted anyway. He was already starting to lighten his mood when looking at Bilbo when he had been very annoyed when first seeing him. "Unfortunately, I cannot say more without the permission of the leader of our company."

Beorn raised a brow at Bilbo, but nodded nonetheless, making Bilbo sigh in relief. "In return for your honesty, you may stay here for at least another night."

"And my friends?" Bilbo asked.

Beorn only nodded so Bilbo grinned and gave a respectful bow.

* * *

After all the tense introductions, where Bilbo was slightly surprised to find most of the dwarves sticking very close to him and keeping him as far away from Beorn as he would allow, they all settled around a large table while Beorn served them greens, bread, honey, and milk. Gandalf stayed off to the side the whole time, grumbling something under his breath that Bilbo didn't quite understand but was sure had something to do with him and his rash decision to let Beorn know about his dwarven friends prematurely.

"So you are the one they call Oakenshield," Beorn said to Thorin who was the only one not sitting at the table. He asked about Azog and instead of getting an answer, he received a question of which he answered with his own story of being captured by the orcs. He told them about how they caged skin changers and tortured them. It was a story that Bilbo did not want to hear, but one that he knew all too well nonetheless.

* * *

_Bilbo was cold. The coldest he had ever felt in his hobbit lifetime and that wasn't an exaggeration. Though Bilbo was still relatively young, this winter, the one that they would later call the Fell Winter, was the coldest in the hobbit's known history. It was also the longest and they had run out of wood sometime ago. His father had gone out to fetch more, having finally given up on the hope that the winter would break soon, and Bilbo had chosen to wait by the window closest to the door despite it being one of the coldest spots in the house so that he could open the door as soon as he saw his father returning. His mother had wrapped a blanket around him sometime ago, but it wasn't much help in this weather._

" _When will daddy be back?" he asked, turning wide eyes to his mother. She was currently in the kitchen trying her best to find something for them to eat for dinner without the use of heat._

" _He'll be here soon enough," Belladonna replied. "You know how much he hates to be late for dinner."_

" _But he's taking so long," Bilbo whined. Bungo had promised to play with him when he returned and he was eager to do something fun since he wasn't allowed to go outside in this weather. "There he is!" he gasped only a moment later when he saw his father running up the lane with a curious lack of wood. Before his mother could stop him, he yanked the door open so his father wouldn't have to do so when he arrived._

" _No!" Bungo yelled, reaching out towards his son. It was then that the gruesome sword went right through Bungo's chest. Bilbo's father fell to reveal an ugly creature behind him and Bilbo could just make out some more farther down the path._

" _Daddy!" Bilbo screamed, trying to run to his father, but Belladonna scooped him up before closing and locking the door. He tried to get around her when she set him down, but she shook him hard to get his attention._

" _Listen to me, Bilbo," she demanded, ignoring the tears that she normally would have wiped from Bilbo's face by then. "You need to hide. You need to hide and don't come out no matter what. Do you understand me Bilbo. Hide!"_

_But it was already too late. The door was nothing to the evil creatures and it came crashing down without a moment's warning. Belladonna pushed her son to run, but the creatures captured her and scooped him up a moment later. No matter how much he thrashed in their grip and how much he bit and scratched at them, they did not release him._

" _Stop your squirming," one of them growled. Bilbo only screamed._

" _You let him go!" Belladonna demanded even though she couldn't escape the grasp of the ones holding her either._

" _You look like fun," another orc smirked._

_Belladonna's eyes widened as the orc dragged a knife down her torso, cutting the dress she wore as he went. "Bilbo," she said. "Close your eyes Bilbo. Close your eyes."_

_Bilbo did as he was told, but his hands were being held down by the orcs' hold on him so he couldn't also cover his ears. He could hear the crashing and thumping of things all over the house, but most of all he could hear his mother screaming. Not even when his mother quieted did he open his eyes._

" _What should we do with this one," the orc holding him asked._

" _Bring it along," another said. "If he doesn't make good sport, we could always eat him."_

" _No!" Bilbo screamed, struggling renewed, but his was only a young hobbit lad and there was nothing he could do to escape._

* * *

_It was even colder outside, Bilbo decided, especially with the orcs dragging him along behind them. There were other hobbits too and they tried their best to surround him so that the wind's chill couldn't get to him. They could do nothing to protect his numb feet from freezing in the snow they were walking through, though._

_There was a crash of metal upon metal near the front of the orc grouping, making Bilbo cringe and then everything around him went crazy. The older hobbits grouped closer to him, the ties that had been held taut to keep them apart now slackened by the loss of the orc pulling on them. Bilbo could barely see past the huddle, but after some time he noticed large men with cloaks coming towards them._

" _It's the rangers!" someone said with relief. Belladonna had told Bilbo all about the rangers that she met during her travels. They were good people who helped where they could, but they hadn't been seen around Hobbiton for some time. Perhaps they came after the orcs._

_Bilbo neither knew nor cared._

_He wriggled free from his bindings, having been too scared and too cold to try to do so earlier, and scurried out from the hobbit group with none-the-wiser. He had always been small around the middle for a hobbit and that made him the best at hiding._

_They hadn't been taken too far from Hobbiton. In fact, Bilbo had come this far on his own adventures only this last summer and, despite the snow, he knew his way back and he immediately raced towards home._

* * *

" _Daddy?" Bilbo asked when he came across his father who still lay face down in the snow with a pool of red liquid around him. "Daddy, get up. You said we aren't supposed to sleep in the snow." He tried shaking his father, but when that didn't work he flipped the hobbit over to see the pale face and closed eyes._

" _Mommy!" he raced back to the house. He had to tell her that daddy was sick so she could move him out of the snow._

_The door was still gaping open when Bilbo arrived and he raced inside calling for his mother. She had to have been seriously injured, he knew, since she didn't come after him when the evil orcs took him, but surely she would still be strong enough to move his father inside._

_Bilbo found Belladonna laying on the kitchen table, her eyes open and glazed staring at the ceiling, with her dress cut open and the red liquid leaking from her as well. "Mommy!" Bilbo screamed, yanking on her arm to try to get her to look at him. "Mommy! Daddy's sick. You have to help him! Mommy! Please!" But nothing he did worked._

_It wasn't longer before Bilbo tumbled away from his mother and into another room, knowing instinctively that being in the same room as his mother would only make things worse. He pulled the blanket around him and walked into the sitting room to sit next to the unlit fireplace._

* * *

"Oh misty eye of the mountain below,"  _he started singing the prayer that had always calmed him shakily._

"Keep careful watch of my brother's soul

And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke

Keep watching over Durin's son."

That had been the worst day of either of Bilbo's lives. Not even the day the dragon came could measure up to that. Even though he had lost his dwarven parents and his brother that day, at least he hadn't had to witness it. Gandalf had asked him what had happened to the young hobbit that went off in the woods in search of elves and Bilbo hadn't had the heart to explain what had really happened.

He couldn't remember much else from that day. The only thing he remembered was that, when the rangers found him still singing in his sitting room despite the cold making his throat hurt, he had made sure that they knew to burn his mother and father together. He hadn't known at the time that it was dwarf custom to burn the soul mates bodies together, but it had just felt right. For a moment Bilbo wondered if Thorin still carried the ashes of his dwarven body, as was also custom if one should die before the other so that they could still be burned together, but he didn't have much time to think on it as Thorin began to explain just what they were doing and Beorn finally offered them aid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided that I wanted to put a little bit of Bilbo's hobbit past in here. I don't know if I should do any more (what do you guys think), but if I do they will definitely be rare and far between. Thanks for reading. Love you all.


	31. Conckers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While they rest at Beorn's house, the boys want to know what conckers is so Bilbo shows them.

The company was not to leave until the next day. Thorin was not at all happy with this decision, but the company needed a day of rest without worrying that any creature could get to them so he eventually gave in. Bilbo had to hold back a particularly large sigh of relief at that. He hadn't realized how absolutely exhausted he was, and the rest of the company for that matter, until they were granted leave to rest.

The moment breakfast was through and they were told to regain as much of their strength as possible, each of the company went their own ways. Bombur and Bifur went back to the hay where the bigger dwarf laid down for a nap and the injured sat next to him to watch over him. Bofur joined them soon after with two blocks of wood that he had begged from Beorn and both he and his cousin began to carve into them. Ori followed Dori and Balin out into Beorn's garden to work on his journal. Nori disappeared as he usually did whenever they had nothing to do. Gloin gathered all the money to make sure that they still had plenty to last them through the trip and Oin went through his bag of herbs, marking down the ones he wanted to see if Beorn would be willing to give him from the garden. Dwalin and Thorin went to a corner to brood and talk about what was still left of their quest and Fili and Kili went out back to spar and work off some of their energy.

After some thought between the beautiful garden in the front of the house, and his nephews in the back, Bilbo followed Fili and Kili outside. There was no bench for him to sit on so he simple sat on the ground with his back against the tree stump that Beorn was using to chop his wood.

"Widen your stance a bit, Kili," Bilbo said. "You'll lose your balance much less easily that way." Kili immediately fixed his stance and both brothers went back to their spar with far less stumbling about between them. Bilbo grinned. It had been a long time since he had been able to watch these two spar and they've improved so much since then.

* * *

" _Uncle Haran!" Kili said as he tugged on the bottom of Bilbo's shirt. "Come watch us practice. Please."_

" _I suppose," Bilbo laughed, "as long as its okay with your uncle and Master Dwalin."_

_Kili and Fili both turned their wide eyes on their teachers. It wasn't often that both Bilbo and Thorin could go. It was actually more often than not that Dwalin took care of the boy's mastery of weapons as the King Under the Lost Mountain and his husband were usually too busy helping their people. Bilbo was even less likely to be able to come as he was one of the very few dwarves who actually knew how to grow things courtesy of his readings over the years, but had only started putting it into practice when they moved to this mountain and so had to do everything by ear along with the other dwarves who were able to help him, which were very few. They had figured it out by this year, but it still took a lot of time and energy to accomplish the crops._

" _I could never say no to that," Thorin said and Dwalin just grinned and nodded._

" _Alright then," Bilbo replied. "Let's go before we lose the light."_

" _Yea!" the boys chorused as they linked hands and Fili grabbed Thorin's hand and Kili grabbed Bilbo's to tug them along._

* * *

_The sparring are was little more than a clearing in the woods near Ered Luin surrounded by a wooden fence to provide some little protection from any predator that should find them. Children were always to be accompanied by at least one well-armed adult per two dwarflings just in case. The very young children were still sparring by their homes, but the older ones were too big and reckless to not possible damage the unstable houses so they had to be trained farther away. Fili had just recently reached that age, though Kili was still a little young, but where one went so too did the other._

_Stepped into the sparring area and leaned against one of the fence's posts. The boys had been trying to get him to spar with them, but, after all the work he had done in the fields, he was just too tired to accomplish it without possibly hurting the children. Besides, his arm was giving him pain today, which was the only reason that he was taking a break from the fields. He had had to politely decline the boys, but promised that he would watch the whole thing._

" _Widen your stance Fili," he called out before they even began. Every time they sparred, they had to make sure their stances were well enough to not hurt themselves or their partner. Especially since they were sparring with each other today "You'll lose your balance much less easily that way."_

_Thorin nodded and positioned Fili's feet the correct distance for his stature. Kili tried to copy it, though he was still slightly awkward. He would probably be tall for a dwarf if his wiry body was anything to go by. Dwalin had to fix his feet to be a little closer together as Kili tried to make his feet as wide as his brother's even though he wasn't as tall as him._

_Once they were properly in their stances both Dwalin and Thorin stepped back and called for them to start their fight. It wasn't long before Fili knocked his brother's wooden sword out of his hand, Kili's grip still not strong enough to hold onto it, so he threw his own sword to the side and tackled his brother to the ground. They wrestled for a bit, but Fili eventually got the upper hand and began to tickle his brother._

_Kili's squealing laughter was far to infectious to stop them as even Dwalin and Thorin cracked a smile. Haran couldn't help his own burst of laughter as he watched his nephews._

_By the time the children were too tired to continue, Bilbo found that his arm didn't hurt so much and he wasn't nearly as tired. So much so that he was able to carry Kili home while Thorin carried Fili._

* * *

"I thought you said that you didn't have any training," Thorin said from behind Bilbo, making the hobbit jump.

It took a moment for Bilbo's heart to calm down, but when it did he turned to the other with a smile. "I didn't say that. I only said that I had some skill in conkers. I'll have you know that I won quite a few competitions on the subject." In all truth, though, that was a slight lie on Bilbo's part. At the time that Thorin asked him about his abilities with weapons, he had no training. But, even though his body had only just recently started regaining the muscle memory for sword fighting, his memories were sufficient enough that he was trained in all but the muscles.

Thorin inclined his head in understanding as the boys came back over to them.

"What is conkers anyway?" Kili asked.

"Well," Bilbo grinned. "It's a game in Hobbiton. You tie a chestnut on a string and throw it at another until the other cracks. The person who can break the most nuts before the one on the string breaks is the winner. It's a very good way to hone your aim. We hobbits can throw rocks quite a ways and still hit our target."

"Can you show us?" Kili asked with wide eyes. His puppy dog eyes had barely changed since he was young and Bilbo found himself unable to say no to it.

"I suppose," Bilbo said as he stood with a stone in his hand. "What should I hit? Keep in mind it can't be anything alive or we'll anger our host."

Fili and Kili both thought hard, but it was Thorin who came up with an idea. He picked up a small twig and set it atop Beorn's stack of firewood. "Knock this off," he said. It was an unusually difficult thing to require on a first try, but he looked very confident in Bilbo's ability. The hobbit couldn't help but grin at that. Even though Thorin had not ever seen him throw a stone, he respected him enough to believe that when he said he was good, he meant it.

Bilbo took only a moment to take aim before letting the small stone lose on the even smaller target. The stone ricocheted off the wood, but the twig fell in two pieces down the pile.

"Wow!" Kili said. "I want to try." Bilbo nodded and Thorin set another twig on the pile. Though Kili's aim was quite good, he hadn't ever thrown anything for accuracy so his rock fell short.

"My turn," Fili grinned. He had much more experience with throwing, but his throwing knives were not the same as a stone so his rock hit the stack below the stick.

"Darn!" Kili said for his brother. He had known that his brother would be better than him and had hoped that he would actually be able to hit the target, but was not upset when he hadn't. Instead, he picked up a stone and trying again, this time overthrowing the target.

"Closer," Bilbo grinned. "Here, let me show you." He picked up another stone and went through the motions of throwing it, but didn't let it go to its target. Both Fili and Kili watched intensely before picking up stones to try again.

"It seems that you have made a competition for my nephews," Thorin said. "Whichever one gets it first will be the winner."

"It's good for them to have fun while they can," Bilbo replied. "I'm glad that they like it, though."

"Uncle Thorin," Kili interrupted them. "You should try." Bilbo couldn't help but laugh as Thorin was tugged over to do just that. He tried to deny the boys, but they thrust a stone into his hand and wouldn't leave him alone until he threw it. Thorin was a close combat dwarf and so his whole fighting style was based on strength. He far overthrew the target. Kili laughed as Thorin scowled and tried again with the same result.

"You're putting too much force into it," Bilbo said. "Perhaps you should try holding back a bit." Thorin nodded and did as he was told, but he still didn't hold back enough. The stone was overthrown.

Fili and Kili laughed in their fun. "We should get everyone to try," Kili suggested.

"Yea," Fili agreed. "Let's go get them." Both ran inside to do just that.

By the time the whole of the company of dwarves had been corralled out to the back garden and were all very determinedly trying to be the first to knock the twig over despite their frustration, Bilbo was laughing uncontrollably. "It seems I've created monsters," he mumbled when Thorin scowled back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked for fluff in this chapter and I hope this accomplishes that.
> 
> PS. I'm sorry if I got the game of conckers wrong. I read about it a while ago and wrote what I remembered from it.


	32. A Small Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Thorin can be cruel, but it's not really his fault when he has so much weighing on him.

The eventual winner of the conckers game, surprisingly enough, was Ori, but it could hardly be counted as the young dwarf had his eyes closed the entire time. The cheers were loud anyway and Ori received several congratulations and pats on the back from his kin. Even Fili and Kili couldn't remain disappointed that they hadn't been the winners when faced with the young scribe's overwhelming delight at his success.

"I see now why you were so proud in your abilities at conckers," Thorin said as he leaned against the stump next to Bilbo once more. The rest of the crowd was starting to disperse, leaving only Fili and Kili to stubbornly continue in their attempts to knock a stick down with a stone. "It is a truly impressive skill and I thnk it may even be quite useful."

"Thank you," Bilbo grinned. "I am glad to know that my skills may actually come in handy and I'm not just along for the ride."

Thorin let a little half smile of his own slip through. "I assure you, Master Hobbit, you are not merely here for the ride. Your position is very important. Otherwise we would be an unlucky thirteen."

Bilbo laughed at that. Thorin had never been good with his jokes and his teasing often sounded more like insults, but Bilbo had always understood his intended and the fact that he was actually attempting to tease the hobbit was a very good sign indeed.

"I must thank you," Thorin said after a moment of silence. "I have not seen this company this happy for a very long time."

"They deserve it," Bilbo shrugged. "You all do."

"And you?" Thorin raised a brow. "I have not seen you truly laugh until today. What about your happiness?"

Bilbo's eyes widened. He had honestly not expected Thorin to pay that close of attention to him. especially when he was just some obscure hobbit that Gandalf dragged along for the ride. "I honestly hadn't noticed," Bilbo said truthfully.

"It is good to see you laugh," Thorin continued. "I too lost my One many years ago and, with him much of my happiness, but my nephews did not let me wallow for long. They have always been good at making people smile."

"I can see that," Bilbo nodded.

"I am sorry for your loss," Thorin said. "I do not know how long it has been for you, but it did not seem like you had anyone like I did to comfort you. that only makes the way I treated you even more inexcusable and I apologize for that as well."

"Please don't," Bilbo shook his head. "I am glad that I was allowed to travel with you. I have been alone ever since the death of my parents at it is nice to have company again. Besides, who knows, perhaps this journey will let me meet my One again."

"Again?" Thorin asked.

"Some people believe that, if a soul mate dies long before the other, they can be reborn back into this world." Bilbo said. "Maybe I'll get to meet him again on this journey."

"Such things cannot happen," Thorin growled, his mood suddenly turning dark. "It would do you better to give up on such a fantasy. Our soul mates will not return. They are dead. You would do better to stop searching." With that, Thorin stood straight and stomped back into Beorn's house, leaving Bilbo to curl in on himself and try to hold back the tears.

"Oh Thorin," Bilbo whispered. "You truly are cruel sometimes."

* * *

_"Thorin," Bilbo said as he tried to hand a bowl of hot soup to his husband. "You need to eat something. You cannot keep going like this." They had finally found a place to stay in Ered Luin and erected a long hall that they were currently sitting in. It would in the future serve as their dining hall, but for now while they waited for the homes to be built it was just a place where everyone could finally have a roof over their head to sleep. Unfortunately, it was taking much longer than they had hoped because they had run out of supplies and the cultures of men nearby were refusing to aid them. That was what Thorin was having to deal with at this moment and it was also the reason he was so stressed. Bilbo wished he could be there for his husband, but he had gotten enough strange looks from the men to know that his presence would not be any aid._

_"I'm not hungry," Thorin replied._

_"Come on," Bilbo pressed. "You haven't been eating much lately. You also haven't been sleeping. Don't think I haven't noticed. You need to keep up your strength. Just have this one bowl."_

_"I said I'm not hungry," Thorin growled, knocking the bowl out of Bilbo's hand as he turned to leave._

_Bilbo waited until his husband had left the building on the way to yet another meeting with the council before collapsing to his knees with a gasp of pain. Thorin wouldn't have noticed, but he had knocked the bowl of hot soup into Bilbo's newly healed scarred arm. The arm was still overly sensitive, but it hurt even more because the burning brought back memories of the fire's breath upon his skin._

_"Uncle Haran!" Fili gasped, rushing over to Bilbo's side. "Are you okay?" Several other people seemed to be watching them as well with worried looks._

_"I'm fine," Bilbo tried to smile, but it turned out more like a grimace. "I just spilled a little hot soup on myself is all."_

_"No you didn't," Fili denied immediately. "It was Uncle Thorin. Why would he do that?"_

_"It wasn't his fault," Bilbo shook his head. "I just shouldn't have pushed him. Your uncle's really stressed right now. We just have to cut him a bit of slack. I'm sure he'll get better once he's sure that we're all safe and sound in our own houses."_

_"Still," Dis cut in with a look that said she clearly didn't believe his claim of being fine. "I think you should go see Oin."_

_"I really am fine," Bilbo smiled reassuringly._

_"Tell me that when your fingers aren't so white," Dis replied._

_Only then did Bilbo look down and realize that he was holding a fist so tight that his nails were cutting into his palm to counter the pain in his other arm. He sighed and nodded at Dis before giving his nephew a pat on the head and heading off to find Oin in the large crowd._

_It was not a hard task as one of the onlookers had already gotten him and Oin immediately took Bilbo to one of the few rooms closed off from the great hall, which would later be pantries, that is where the sick and injured were kept separate from the crowd in order not to make anyone else sick or make injuries worse._

* * *

_Bilbo was awoken in the bed that Oin had forced him to stay in despite his protests that others could use the room more than he to his husband crouching before him. Thorin was clutching his hand as though his life depended on it and currently had it pressed against his forehead in what looked to be a prayer. "Hello," Bilbo said with a tired, but soft smile. Thorin did not move. "Thorin? Hey, sweetheart, look at me." Still Thorin did not move, so Bilbo tried to use his hand to gently force his husband to look at him, but that only made things worse._

_Thorin let out a strangled gasp when Bilbo tried to move and held on tighter. He looked up at Bilbo with wide, desperate eyes that Bilbo had not seen in many years. Then he brought Bilbo's hand to his lips and, with his head bowed, talked through Bilbo's fingers. "I was afraid you had gone into the Sleep again," he muttered. "I thought I might not have gotten here in time to get you out of it again."_

_"Oh no Thorin," Bilbo frowned. "That's not…We had a fight Thorin. It's bound to happen sometimes for every soul mate. That doesn't mean that either of us Rejects the other. It was only a slight disagreement anyway. I shouldn't have pushed you."_

_"No," Thorin shook his head desperately. "You did what only a true love would do. I'm the one that threw it back in your face and hurt you."_

_Bilbo grimaced. He had hoped that Thorin wouldn't have heard about that. "It was an accident," he said soothingly using what little motion Thorin would allow his hand to caress the dwarf's cheek. "I'll be better again in no time."_

_"Balin said that you collapsed in the Great Hall."_

_Bilbo sighed. He really should have known that it would be Balin that told Thorin. That old dwarf was always looking out for the two of them and always informed one if he felt the other was sick, injured, or doing something reckless. In fact, he had earlier that day mentioned to Bilbo that he didn't think Thorin was getting enough food or rest, but Bilbo replied that he had noticed already and would try to get Thorin to eat something that day._

_"I'm sorry about that," Bilbo said and Thorin looked up at Bilbo again with eyes wide and mouth gaping. "I know that the Council has been trying to find reason to get rid of me and I've been trying to show that I'm strong despite my injuries, but it seems I've failed today. I let weakness show in front of all our race and anyone who wasn't there to witness it will know of it by this evening."_

_"How do you know about that?" Thorin asked. "They only just brought it up today."_

_"It's not that hard to guess," Bilbo said. "The council already didn't like me to begin with, but they dealt with it because I am your soul mate. Now that I am injured, they like me even less and have been trying to find enough reason to overcome the fact that I am your soul mate."_

_"I told them that, if they should ever suggest such a thing again, I would accuse them of high treason and their hair would be shaved and they would be cast out never to be allowed to return," Thorin said with determination in his eyes._

_"You didn't have to do that," Bilbo shook his head, but he had a feeling that the happiness probably showed on his face._

_"I did have to," Thorin said. "I don't care if they are the council that my grandfather chose. I will not let anyone hurt you in anyway." Then he grew quiet as he looked at Bilbo's scarred arm that was probably red and inflamed by now. "I'm truly sorry that I hurt you. I would give you my braids if you asked them of me."_

_"I would never ask that of you," Bilbo said. Braids were very important to a dwarf and the loss of one was a horrible thing to behold. Many dwarves from Erebor had taken out the braids in mourning for their loss kingdom, but the hair still remained to braid them back when they returned. To give a braid away meant that that braid could never be returned to the dwarf's head. It was the highest form of apology and hardly ever used except for the worse forms of betrayal. "It was my fault anyway. I knew that you were busy and stressed. I only wanted you to eat something."_

_"I have been stressed," Thorin sighed. "We have a whole kingdom that we need to make homes for, but the men are stubborn and they continue to refuse us supplies."_

_"Have you considered asking the hobbits?" Bilbo asked. "They seemed like a kind enough people and I'm sure they would be willing to provide whatever aid they can."_

_"The hobbits cannot help us," Thorin shook his head. "They are a people of their own who know nothing of the cruelties of this world. Even if they did, they are too far to set up a trade agreement with."_

_"They may be too far for a continuous trade, but perhaps they would be willing to help us at least get on our feet again. I have heard that they are very good at crops and they might be able to help us sow our own so that we no longer have to deal with the men."_

_"I will think about it," Thorin finally sighed._

_Bilbo smiled happily. "Come and lay with me. You need your rest and I sleep better when you are by my side."_

_"I cannot," Thorin shook his head._

_"You really are cruel sometimes Thorin," Bilbo said and hurried to continue when Thorin looked shocked at him. "To yourself. You cannot take this all upon yourself. Both your father and your grandfather are dealing with these things too. It does not all fall upon your shoulders. Take a break for awhile. Come lay with me and have some rest."_

_"Your arm," Thorin tried to protest again._

_"Will be fine as long as you are careful with it," Bilbo pressed. "Please Thorin. I have not felt the warmth of my husband laying beside me these last few days and I miss it."_

_Finally, Thorin nodded and crawled into bed beside his husband. That was a good night's rest._

* * *

"Are you okay Uncle?" Kili collapsed next to Bilbo with the most worried look on his face.

"I'm fine," Bilbo shook his head.

"That was a really mean thing to say," Kili frowned.

"Uncle Thorin shouldn't have said that," Fili agreed.

"Oh boys," Bilbo sighed. "Your Uncle has every right to say something like that. He has been without his soul mate for such a long time and, if what I said was true, wouldn't he wonder why his soul mate has not yet come back to find him?"

"But you have come back," Kili pointed out.

"He doesn't know that," Bilbo replied.

"So you just have to tell him then," Kili said.

"It's really not that simple," Bilbo said.

"Of course it is," Kili disagreed. "You just go up to him and tell him who you are."

"And what will happen after that?" Bilbo argued. "Even if he does believe that I am the reincarnation of the dwarf he lost and we are still Intended for each other, what will we do then? I am meant to face a dragon for the sake of our people. Thorin has already lost his soul mate once, do you think that he would let me do such a thing and possibly lose another soul mate? He may even call this whole thing off."

"Is that such a bad thing?" asked Fili.

"As much as I hate to say this," Bilbo sighed, "it would be a very bad thing. Even as a hobbit, I have heard rumors about the state of Ered Luin. Your crops are dying and illness keeps spreading. You do not remember anything different because you were too young, but that is no way for our people to live. We need Erebor because it has always offered us protection and enough food to outlast even the worst of the winters. This quest is not only about reclaiming our homeland, but also about saving our people. Thorin cannot call it off and I refuse to put him through the loss of another soul mate. I will not tell him who I am and neither will any of you. Do you understand me?"

Both boys nodded, but Kili looked on the verge of tears so Bilbo sighed and pulled him into his arms. "It'll be alright Kili," he soothed. "I'm sorry I scolded you."

"We understand Uncle," Fili said for his brother. "We won't bring it up again until after we have reclaimed our homeland and defeated the dragon."

Kili looked at his brother with wide eyes that suddenly had more hope in them. He was always one to believe everything that his brother said and Bilbo is pretty sure that this is the first time that Fili has claimed they would reclaim their homeland with as much surety as in that moment. For Fili to have such faith, it made Kili have that faith to and that made Bilbo smile.

"Alright then," Bilbo agreed. "Until then."


	33. The Past Comes to Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has nightmares and his past comes to light.

That night Bilbo curled up in the hay stack and, just before he fell asleep, he felt Thorin's coat settle over him though he didn't feel the boys lay with him the night before. "You shouldn't steal your Uncle's coat," Bilbo managed to mumble as he fell into a comfortable sleep with Thorin's scent wrapped around him. His dreams were wonderful. He dreamt of himself and Thorin returning to Erebor together. He dreamt of telling the dwarf king that he was his long lost Intended and Thorin Accepting him and being so glad to have him back.

But Bilbo's dreams soon turned dark. He looked out of Erebor and saw before him a great battle between orcs and dwarves. Thorin lead the charge with his elvish blade gleaming before him and the dwarves rallied to their king. Yet, still the dwarves could not last against such a massive army. He could hear Azog the Defiler's laugh over all the screaming and the sounds of fighting and he was forced to watch as the pale orc cut both his nephews and his Soulmate down.

Bilbo cried out, trying to get to the ones he loved, but he could not move from where he stood on the parapets. He could only stand and watch the bloodshed as the dwarves were fought back despite all their rallying cries to protect the king.

Then the dragon came and Bilbo could only stand and watch as its fire rained down on the battle field, burning each and everyone of the dwarves where they stood until only Bilbo was left to protect the mountain. The dragon only turned to Bilbo at the very end of it all and Bilbo woke when the fire licked at his skin with Azog's cruel laughter ringing in his ears.

Bilbo choked back his screams as he awoke in the darkness of Beorn's hut. He didn't want to wake everyone. Especially since they would probably think that they were under attack and then they would start worrying and asking him what his dream was about. He didn't want to worry them. But the pain in his arm and face felt like the dragon's fire had licked him again and tears welled up in his eyes. Thorin's coat suddenly felt like it was suffocating him and the hay beneath him itched his skin.

He needed to get up. He needed to go outside. They were forbidden from leaving the house in the night, but Bilbo didn't think that they garden was considered out and the first light of the sun was creeping over the horizon anyway.

Bilbo stood and placed Thorin's coat over his two nephews who were cuddling together not far from him, they could return it to their Uncle in the morning, and went outside. The fresh air was like a balm to his skin. He could breathe again with it filling his lungs. Fresh air had always been the best thing to calm his nerves against the nightmares of dragon's fire.

* * *

_The worst of the nightmares started the first night they were able to sleep within the great hall that they had just completed on the Blue Mountains. He had had nightmares of the dragon before that, of course. How could he not when the trauma still sometimes affected him during the days as well? But the nightmares worsened in the small area packed with dwarves. There was room enough for everyone to sleep comfortably, but the mass of bodies just seemed to suffocate Bilbo and he woke choking back screams and gasping for air on more than one occasion. The fact that Thorin had stopped coming to sleep next to him wasn't helping either since his comforting presence wasn't there to help fight them off. He usually tried to get back to sleep, but, more often than not, he found himself wide awake curled into a ball just trying to settle his breathing until morning came._

_One night, however, it was all too much and Bilbo felt so suffocated that he began to hyperventilate. A panic attack, he knew, was what he was beginning to suffer and he also knew that it was a horrible sign of weakness that the dwarves of the council would most certainly try to use to remove him from Thorin's side. Most of the dwarves were asleep that late at night, but there were some who stayed aware as a guard over those sleeping. They usually turned a blind eye to Bilbo's nightly problems, knowing that he wouldn't want them to interfere, but there was no knowing which of them may be working for the council members and would report his bout of weakness. He had to get out of there before he had a full blown attack for everyone to see._

_Bilbo quickly stood and waved off the guard closest to him who stepped forward to offer his assistance. He would have liked the help with his burns throbbing and him feeling somewhat dizzy from the lack of oxygen, but the only ones that he would have trusted in that moment to see him safely and not doubt him for any weakness had died in the mountain fighting the dragon. Not for the first time Bilbo truly missed Loni and Floi. They had been good friends and would have seen him through these troubles without thinking less of him or saying a word to anyone about it. He couldn't trust any of the other dwarves to keep their mouth shut as there were likely to either tell the court or tell Thorin himself if Bilbo got too bad. If there was one person that Bilbo absolutely did not want to know about his current problems, it was Thorin. He already had too much on his plate as it was and Bilbo refused to add to that._

_"Prince Haran?" one of the guards asked who was stationed outside the front door._

_"Stay at your post," Bilbo said, still barely keeping his calm together, though he found it was a little easier with the fresh air. "I'm just going to go for a walk."_

_"This late at night?" the other guard asked. "Perhaps you should take someone with you."_

_"I'll be fine," Bilbo replied before turning and heading off before the guards could either argue more or find someone to follow him despite his protests. He didn't venture far, of course. He was still weak and in his current compromised mindset he knew he couldn't go too far because he would need help if anyone should attack him, but he did go far enough that the trees covered him from view before collapsing to the ground._

_The cool fresh air had calmed him slightly, but he still had to bend over his knees and breathe as deeply as he could, desperately grasping a nearby root so that he wouldn't accidentally grab his arm from the pain and clenching his teeth to keep back the screams. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, it could have been hours or mere minutes, but he knew for certain that his breathing evened out much more quickly than it ever had within the great hall. Finally, he was able to sit up and he collapsed against a tree from exhaustion. Not only was he not getting enough sleep, but these bouts were taking more and more of his strength. At least now he knew some way to combat it. He couldn't stay out there for long, he knew, before the guards came looking for him, but he chose to rest a bit anyway. This was probably the most rest he had gotten in a long time._

_"Hello," someone said from within the forest. Bilbo jolted at the sound of another voice. He had been distracted by his own breathing, but never had anyone been able to get so close to him without him at least noticing their presence. Yet the curiously small little woman with hair on her feet and no beard that stepped out of the trees and into his line of sight had managed it._

_Bilbo quickly considered his options. He had left his sword in the great hall, not wanting to waist any time strapping it to his waist, and only had one dagger on him to defend himself. Yet, the woman, who had a dagger strapped to her own waist, didn't seem threatening at all. She just stood watching him from a far enough distance that any normal dwarf would have to charge at her to attack her. She couldn't have known that he was not a normal dwarf and would be able to kill her from where he sat, but it did make him feel better that, if it should come down to that, he had the upper hand. It didn't seem like it would come down to a fight, though, as she stood waiting for his answer._

_"Hello," he nodded finally. Still wary, but not willing to be rude._

_"Gandalf told me that dwarves had come to these parts and I've never seen a dwarf so I came to investigate."_

_"Gandalf?" Bilbo asked. He had never actually met the wizard, but there were plenty of stories in which he helped someone do something or other and Bilbo had read quite a few of them._

_The woman nodded. "I only saw one house, though. Do dwarves all live in one house?"_

_"No," Bilbo shook his head. He contemplated for a moment whether he should continue. What he had to say next was something that could be very dangerous to them if someone should use it against them. Yet, there was something about the woman that just made him trust her. "That is the great hall where we will hold feasts. We are only using it to house people until we can build the actual houses."_

_"I didn't see any houses being built," she said._

_Bilbo hesitated again. This truly was beyond what he should be saying to any stranger, especially one who was clearly outside of his own race, but still he found himself continuing anyway. "We cannot build anymore because the humans refuse to help us. We have no money for supplies and little food for strength."_

_"You could have just asked," the woman said. "We would be happy to help."_

_"Whose we?" Bilbo asked, suddenly wary that there may be others around with the woman. He really should have expected it before as it was very unlikely that anyone, especially one so small, would be travelling by themselves to places and people unknown._

_"The Hobbits of the Shire of course," she said. "My father, Old Took, is the Thain and he would be very happy to help if you asked for it."_

_Bilbo couldn't help the widening of his eyes. Had he been a lesser man he might have gaped at her. After seeing the cruelty of men for such a long time when they were the most desperate, even a small amount of kindness was shocking. "Why would you do this?" he asked._

_"We have plenty of food," she said, "and supplies can be made."_

_"But we have nothing to give in return," Bilbo pointed out. "We don't have enough money to buy anything and we are too far away to offer our services."_

_"You don't need a reason to help people," the woman said. "My father always tells me, 'Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, and how to acquire without meanness.'"_

_Finally, Bilbo smiled. "Thank you. I will tell my king about your people and I will see if he is willing to ask for your aid. He is stubborn, but I may be able to convince him." He bowed low, though not so low as to be unbefitting of a prince, before her and introduced himself. "I am Haran, son of Vorin, at your service."_

_"And I am Beladonna Took, at yours," she replied with a bow of her own just as low. "Now I must be off. I am to meet my fiancé for dinner in a few days and I don't want to be late."_

* * *

That was actually the first time Bilbo had ever met his hobbit mother and, now that he thought about it, it was kind of strange to meet the woman before she even bore him. Still she had been the same woman, though a little younger when Bilbo first met her and he was glad to see that she hadn't changed much in her life time.

Suddenly, a shadow fell over Bilbo and he tensed. Perhaps he had made the wrong decision after all of coming out here so early in the morning, but when he looked up it was Beorn who stood before him, not the great bear that he could have been. Beorn looked down at him with a raised brow and Bilbo stood from where he sat during his memories and patted himself down. "I do apologize," Bilbo said. "I just needed a bit of fresh air."

"I don't mind," Beorn said. "As long as you stay inside at night."

"I think we are leaving today anyway," Bilbo said.

"Indeed," Beorn nodded. "Gandalf has asked me for supplies to carry into the forest."

"And will you give us some."

"I told him that I would in return for your story, but the one he told me was not the one I wanted."

"What did he tell you?" Bilbo asked curiously.

"He told me of your time in the mountain and the goblins and the orcs and the eagles. But when I asked of your story he could not answer me. Some of the dwarves claimed that you were a kindly hobbit who had no knowledge of pain or suffering before coming on this trip, but I do not believe that. I saw the way you reacted when I told the tale of my past. And none of them could tell me why you have come. Tell me, Master Baggins, tell me your story and I will give you and your people the supplies you ask for."

"I don't know how much you care to hear," Bilbo sighed. He didn't really want to go over his life's story right now, but it might be best to get it off his chest with someone that didn't either know him or know what he was going through. Someone who was a complete stranger to this whole predicament.

"Tell me why you have chosen to travel with the dwarves," Beorn said.

"It is something that few of them know and that I wish to keep secret from the rest for as long as possible," Bilbo said, asking Beorn to keep his secret without using so many words.

"I will not tell them," Beorn agreed.

"In another life. I was a dwarf." Beorn's brow raised once more, but Bilbo continued so Beorn sat himself on the ground in order that Bilbo wouldn't have to strain so much to look at him. "And I was married to Thorin. My motives are not so very different from theirs."

"That doesn't seem to be true," Beorn said. "Over the course of the time that you have been here, I have seen each of the dwarves speak of their homeland or at least think of it in some way. Yet you have not even looked in the direction of the mountain the whole time you have stayed here. You are not like the others."

"People used to tell me that all the time," Bilbo smiled, "but I suppose you are right. It's not really my home anymore anyway. I only want them to have their home back."

Beorn nodded, but said no more on the subject. His curiosity was not yet satisfied, though. "Tell me why you reacted in such a way as you did when I told my tale. Then I will offer you my services and supplies."

Bilbo sighed. That memory wasn't really one he wanted to visit twice in the span of one week, but he would do anything for his people and if that's what it took to get them supplies then so be it. "When I was very young, I lost my parents to an orc raid. The river on the border of the shire, which usually kept us safe, froze over. Many were lost to sickness and then even more to the wolves driven towards us starving from the lack of food in the winter. But even that wasn't as bad as when the orcs came. I heard that some of them were riding wargs, though, luckily, I never saw them. I did see the orcs. I watched them stab my father and he died immediately, but my mother they chose to use for sport. Probably not in the same way as they did with you." Beorn nodded, understanding what Bilbo was getting at. "I don't really know how she died, but once they were done with her they captured me and several of the other hobbits and took us away. I don't know what they would have done with us if the Rangers hadn't caught them, but I'm certain that I wouldn't be here today."

"What!?" Kili gasped from the doorway to Beorn's hut and Bilbo whipped around to see the entire company of dwarves standing their, most with wide eyes and some gripping their weapons with white knuckles.

"How long have you been there?" Bilbo asked nervously. He hoped they didn't hear too much.

"Why didn't you tell us that you had encountered orcs before you came on our quest?" Thorin asked. He was, surprisingly, one of the ones with a white knuckled grip around his scabbard, though he refrained from actually taking hold of the hilt and pulling it from its sheath. Dwalin next to him was not so subdued with both his axes held on either side of him and his eyes blazing with rage. Nori, too, looked none too happy and, even though he held no weapons, his eyes showed that he was ready to kill very painfully without them.

Balin was probably the calmest of all of them. "We just heard your story of what happened to your parents," he said calming Bilbo's fear of them overhearing anything more. "Why did you not speak of this before?"

"It wasn't relevant," Bilbo said with a shrug. "It happened a long time ago."

"It is relevant," Thorin growled. "You should have told us. We need to know what your mindset is towards orcs. What if you had frozen from fear when you first saw them again? Childhood trauma like that does not just go away and we would not have known to protect you if something happened."

"I was perfectly capable of defending myself," Bilbo pointed out angrily. "I do not need you to protect me and, as you saw, I was perfectly fine facing the orcs. In fact, it was you who was stupid enough to face the orcs on your own because of some past trauma." Bilbo's mouth snapped shut immediately at that. He had gone too far and he knew it. Balin hadn't explicitly said that Thorin's Soulmate had died during the Battle of Azanulbizar when he was explaining it to the boys, which meant that Bilbo shouldn't have known to avoid the subject, but he did know and that just made it all the worse. "I'm sorry," he said before anyone could react. "I shouldn't have said that."

Thorin just turned and stalked back into the house without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! That chapter was longer than I was really expecting it to be. Oh well, I think the next one won't be as long, but I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> CagedSparrow4 said they would be interested to see what Bilbo's hobbit backstory mentioned again and I thought it was a great idea so here you go.


	34. The Importance of Braids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin's offers his braids as an apology, but Bilbo remember just what those braids mean.

The company packed all their things in silence, though Balin assured Bilbo that Thorin would come around and Dwalin made what seemed to be as much noise as he could in his anger. Beorn and Gandalf went off to talk as they loaded up their ponies, but Bilbo paid them little mind. Beorn had already apologized to him for accidentally having his company find out about his past, but Bilbo just shook his head. They were right, anyway. He really should have at least told them that much, though he wasn't sure that that would have helped them much. In fact, Bilbo's not really sure that he's said anything about his hobbit past to the dwarven group. In all fairness, they hadn't really asked him, but he had been so focused on his life as a dwarf that he hadn't really thought about his life as a hobbit. It was strange, but Bilbo didn't think much of it since he could still clearly remember both pasts.

The company set off with thirteen dwarves and a hobbit atop borrowed ponies and Gandalf riding in front of them on his own borrowed steed. For a moment Bilbo wondered where Thorin had gotten off to, but then that very dwarf came up next to him with one of his brooding frowns.

"It seems I have to apologize to you once again," Thorin said from atop his pony as they rode towards Erebor. "I should not have said such things. I had no right. I just had not expected you to have known anything about the hardships of this place."

"I take it the boys have been bothering you then," Bilbo smiled and Thorin gave a grim nod., "but I should apologize as well. I went too far this morning."

"You had every right after what I said. But that is not why I offer my apology. I have wronged you and it seems to be the only thing that I can do through this adventure. I have wronged you so much that I believe…it is dwarf custom to offer braids as a form or apology-"

Before Thorin could say anymore Bilbo interrupted him. "Don't," he glared at the dwarf as Thorin's eyes widened. "Don't ever offer your braids to me. Nothing, do you hear me, nothing is worth that."

Thorin's eyes widened slightly, which was a testament to how shocked he was since he had always been taught to never show emotion. "I didn't mean to offend you," he offered after a moment.

"I'm not offended," Bilbo sighed. "It's just… Even as a hobbit I know how important braids are to dwarves," especially the only those particular ones that Thorin still wore, "and I just don't think that…I don't want you to lose that."

* * *

_"Can I braid your hair?" Bilbo asked when they woke. This was to be the final morning before the Battle to reclaim Moria and it was custom for loved ones to braid a dwarf's hair before sending them off into battle. Thorin was already working on his hair, weaving a complicated and beautiful design befitting of any consort; even one without a kingdom._

_"Can you?" Thorin asked._

_"Not all of them," Bilbo sighed reluctantly. With the loss of his hand, he had also lost any ability to braid hair. He was still able to brush hair, and he liked to brush Thorin's hair if only to be able to touch it, but it just wasn't the same as braiding. "But I'd at least like to try two of them. I think I could do a simpler design. Even with only one hand."_

_"Very well," Thorin agreed, moving to sit on the ground in front of Bilbo so that he wouldn't have to move from the fallen tree he was sitting on. It wasn't very becoming of a future king to sit on the ground in such a way, but no one would think lesser of him for it. They knew how much he loved Bilbo and knew that he would do anything to make Bilbo's life easier even if it made him seem lesser. The people only loved him more for it._

_"I can do them in the back," Bilbo suggested as Thorin sat to face him. "That way it won't be as noticeable if I should mess up." Thorin may be willing to do things that would make him seem lesser, but that didn't mean that Bilbo wouldn't protest. He probably would have protested it even more if he hadn't gotten used to it while they were still living in Erebor. Thorin always spoiled him, even before he was injured so horribly._

_"I want you to do the ones in the front," Thorin said. Bilbo knew better not to argue, but the true reason he didn't was because Thorin was actually allowing this of him. Braids were truly important to dwarves and the closer they were to the face, the more important they were to the dwarf._

_The two that sat at the front of Thorin's head, just behind each ear, were the signs of his royal lineage and Bilbo was careful to do them as well as he could. It was much harder than he had hoped and he was eventually forced to borrow one of Thorin's hands to get the task completed, but no one said a word. It wasn't until finally accomplished putting the second bead into Thorin's hair that he leaned back. His hand hurt a bit from having to try so hard after not having done it for so long. "There," he said. "Now you can go put the rest of your braids back in while I sharpen our swords." That was another task that was made more difficult by only having one hand, but Bilbo had made sure to find a way around that very early on because he would not allow the care of his weapons to slip no matter what. That was something that his father had practically ingrained in him._

_"Thank you love," Thorin said, giving Bilbo a quick kiss and leaving his weapon at Bilbo's side as he went off to check on how the people were doing._

_Thorin returned to his side the moment the call sounded for them to set off and Bilbo handed his sword back to him. "Where are the rest of your braids?" After the loss of Erebor, Thorin had taken to only wearing the two most important braids, but as time went on he had begun to put some of his other ones back in. Yet, now there was just the two that Bilbo had put in._

_"These are the only ones I need," Thorin said._

_Bilbo blushed, knowing full well why Thorin chose to just keep those ones. It wasn't because they were the sign of his royal blood, but because Bilbo had taken the time to put them in despite his disability. That morning, he had heard some of the dwarves who had previously been doubting their ability to win this battle, saying something along the lines of "If Prince Haran can do it, then so can I." just because he had done what all those who had lost one of their hands had given up on accomplishing. It was strange how braiding hair could inspire people in such a way._

_"Thank you," Bilbo said. Thorin didn't care about the inspiration the braids may have been creating, he only cared that they were done by Bilbo._

* * *

The braids had obviously been redone as there was no way that they would have lasted that long otherwise, but the fact that Thorin still only wore those ones despite how much time had passed meant everything to Bilbo. They weren't as important as they weren't the ones that Bilbo had put in just before his previous death, which is probably the only reason Thorin had been willing to offer them at all, but the meaning still remained.

Their meaning was also probably the only reason that Bilbo had gotten so mad when Thorin offered them. Thorin had a tendency to try to offer Bilbo his braids in their past life even for the smallest of slights and Bilbo always told him no as calmly as he could, knowing that Thorin only feared losing him again, but those braids meant too much to be lost. Even if he was no longer Thorin's Soulmate after having been reborn, which he couldn't be sure of unless he touched the dwarf, he would never want to see him without them.

"You seem to know much about my people," Thorin said, "but you are right. These braids are more important to me than anything. I would not have offered them to you if I did not feel that you deserved them."

"Nothing is worth that," Bilbo said again.

"You remind me of him," Thorin said suddenly.

"Of who?" Bilbo asked both hoping for and against what he feared Thorin would say.

"My Soulmate," Thorin said with a far off little smile. "He would never accept a braid even if it meant nothing to me. Perhaps that is why I treated you so cruelly. You're very much like him and I couldn't stand to see that when I can't have him anymore."

"I know it seems hopeless," Bilbo said, laying his hand on Thorin's sleeve, but being careful not to touch skin, "and I know you may not want to hear this, but there is still a chance that he may come back." Bilbo wanted more than anything to beg Thorin to believe him. Even though he knew that he could not tell Thorin who he was yet, he wanted the dwarf to at least know that he was there for him. Still, he could not force that hope on the king. It would be worse if he should die for Thorin to believe him to be out there somewhere and always be searching for him then it would be for Thorin to know it was him and watch him die. It was probably best that the king didn't believe it. "And if he's not here, then he is surely waiting for you in the Mahal's Halls of Waiting."

"You are just like him," Thorin shook his head sadly and moved away from Bilbo to lead the company by Gandalf's side.

"And you truly haven't changed," Bilbo muttered under his breath when he was sure the dwarf wouldn't hear him.


	35. Miner's Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trees are sick and the rocks are sick and Bilbo just keeps getting sick from them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, before starting the story today, I would like to put a few author's notes on.
> 
> First and foremost, this is the last chapter of the mass update. From this point on I will start updating the chapters as I write them. 
> 
> Also, I recently got a Tumblr and I can't remember if I have mentioned it yet, but I do put a couple of oneshot drabble things on there that I don't put on here, though mostly I just reblog cute bagginshield pictures, so if you're at all interested my name on tumblr is firesofbagginshield. I also post there when I update a new chapter for anyone who can't follow me on here, but can follow me there.
> 
> One last thing. I've been wondering how you all imagine Haran to look and have been wanting to see pictures of him myself, but am not a great drawer, so if anyone would like to draw him or any of the scenes from this story I would love to see them. Just make sure to let me know either through tumblr or here so that I can find them.
> 
> Thank you once again everyone for reading thus far and I hope you enjoy the next chapter just as well.

The forest loomed ahead of them far too soon for Bilbo's comfort. It was so much worse than he had imagined from what Beorn told them. He could literally feel the sickness of the plants so much so that it actually physically hurt his chest. The trees were crying out and moaning in their sickness and Bilbo couldn't stand to be amongst them. He asked if there was anyway that the dwarves could just somehow find a way around, but Gandalf was quick to shoot that idea down saying that it would take far too long and be far too dangerous for them to take any other road. That did not mean that Bilbo had to be happy about it.

Then things got even worse when Gandalf announced that he had business to the South and would be leaving them to enter the forest alone. They would have no ponies and no wizard and Bilbo was not at all happy about it.

Once inside the forest, the sickness of the trees fell upon them despite the kinder magic of the path. Bilbo, as a hobbit, could feel the difference between the two magics, but even though one was better than the other they both felt corrupt to him. More than once he wanted nothing more than to turn right back around and make his way back out of the forest so he could go around it despite the time it would take. They could always wait until next year to do this whole thing. But Bilbo knew that was not the case. The dwarves of the Blue Mountains were already on their last leg and they might not last until next year. If they were going to reclaim the mountain it would have to be done this Durin's Day or their people would die in their failure.

Still, every now and again Bilbo would find himself turning back and wondering if he could make it around the forest after all. If he had been at the back of the line of dwarves he might have tried it, but he was instead in the center and the sight of a miserable dwarf face behind him always turned him forward again.

At one point Bilbo turned back and the dwarf that he saw behind him was not the one he expected. Instead of Dori who was the dwarf that was walking behind him, the dwarf he saw was himself with the burns that he had had so long ago. Haran was his name, he remembered sluggishly, which was a little alarming that he couldn't remember his own name. Haran lifted a finger to his lips in a motion of silence and then circled it around so Bilbo knew to face forward again. As he did so, Bilbo touched his face, where the burns were making his skin tingle. How weird that they should act up now. They hadn't been bothering him for some time and the fact that his arm still didn't work was the only reason that he knew he still had them.

Suddenly Bilbo heard a dwarfling's giggle and he looked to the side to see little Kili hiding behind a tree while Fili searched for him. The boys were never very good at playing hide and seek with each other as neither of them could stay away from the other for very long, so it always turned into something more like tag or wrestling. Bilbo watched with a smile as Fili found his brother and tackled him and started to tickle him. Then Kili somehow wrestled his brother off him and took off into the woods.

"Wait!" Bilbo gasped, going to follow them, but he was stopped when a hand grabbed his burnt arm in a tight grip. He immediately froze and yelped with the pain of it and the grip released immediately. Bilbo took a moment to recatch his breath before looking up at his husband. How could he grab that arm? He knew how much it hurt him. He had never been so cruel before.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Thorin frowned down at him. "I was only trying to stop you from leaving the path."

"Didn't you see the boys go into the woods?" Bilbo asked. His arm didn't pain him so much anymore. "I was trying to stop them."

"We're right here Mister Bilbo," said Kili as he and Fili came forward.

Bilbo looked at the boys for a long moment in confusion. How had they suddenly gotten so big. They were dwarflings only moments ago and now they were full grown dwarves who were actually taller than him. Still, he shook his head, he needed to let them know that what they did was wrong. "You shouldn't have gone into the forest and worried me like that," he said. "What if you had gotten lost? Gandalf said that if you get lost in this place you will never find yourself again. Don't leave the path again."

"But we didn't leave it," said Kili. "We've been on the path this entire time."

"I think you're seeing things," said Fili. "This forest is getting to us all, but it seems to be affecting you quicker, Mister Bilbo."

"Dwarves like rocks," Bilbo said, confusedly, "and hobbits like plants." He didn't know exactly what he was trying to get across, but Fili seemed to understand.

"Your connection with plants is like our connection with rocks," Fili said. "So the sickness you and Gandalf were talking about is getting to you too."

"I'm not sick," Bilbo frowned. "I'm only injured."

"Injured?" asked Thorin, coming forward once again to check the hobbit and make sure that he was okay.

"You're not injured Mister Bilbo," Kili said, getting between Thorin and Bilbo. "It's only the sickness that's making you think that."

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Bilbo asked.

"Because that's your name," Fili replied before Bilbo could say anything more.

"I think it may be time to rest for the night," said Balin. "Perhaps a rest will help Mister Bilbo clear his mind."

The other dwarves agreed and Fili and Kili lead Bilbo to sit on a bedroll they set out for him. "I don't like it here," Bilbo said. He was starting to regain his wits a bit, but they had only recently stepped into the forest and he was sure that he was going to lose them many times over while they travelled on this road.

"We know Uncle Bilbo," Kili whispered so none but Bilbo and his brother could hear, "but we have to if we want to go to the other side."

Bilbo nodded, knowing the words were true but not at all liking it.

"Get some rest now Uncle Bilbo," Fili whispered just like his brother. "A watch will be set and you will feel better in the morning."

Bilbo nodded once more and laid himself in the bedroll to sleep. The boys sat on either side of him and he felt calmed by their presence to the point that he was actually able to sleep in this horrid place.

* * *

_"I don't feel well," Bilbo frowned as he sat by his husband. Thorin had found him in the caves of the Blue Mountains that they had dug in an attempt to mine the place. They had no success thus far, but there was little else they could do for money, which they knew they would need despite the contract they had procured with the hobbits to help them if they should run short on food or supplies. The hobbits were still too far away to provide them with a true trade so they needed to trade with the men. Many of them had their skills for smithing and creating things, but the miners had always found the most wealth came from the mountains. Only, for some reason, this mountain was yielding nothing and more and more miners were coming back from the digging sick with illusions and other such horrid things._

_Neither Bilbo nor anyone in his family were miners and they generally stayed away from the mines, but he still felt ill. Thorin had, in fact, just found him wandering confusedly around town wondering why they were outside instead of in Erebor. His husband immediately took him to Oin, but the medical dwarf could only shake his head and say that he was suffering miner's sickness._

_"It will go away soon enough," Oin said. "The miners all get better after a few days' rest."_

_But a few days later and Bilbo could still be found wandering in his illusions. It had gotten to the point that whenever he was seen walking around a dwarf would stop him and upon finding that he was caught in an illusion would either take him home or take him into their stall to rest. At one point he had even been found by a party of hunters in the woods while he looked for Fili and Kili who were safely at home._

_"I honestly don't know what to say," Oin said. "All the others have gotten better by this point. Some of them are even planning on going back to work in another day or so."_

_"Did you know the rocks are sick?" Bilbo asked, not for the first time, but no one actually took him seriously in his state of delusions. "The mountain is sick."_

_"I know Haran," Thorin said with an indulgent smile. "Should I take him away for a while. Perhaps to the town of men. Perhaps being away from all of our duties will calm him so he can get better?"_

_Bilbo frowned, knowing well enough that Thorin wasn't actually paying attention to him. He was in one of his more lucid states, though still not quite lucid enough to appear so, and he needed to make sure that they understood while he actually understood himself._

_"Do you know where Mister Bofur is?" he asked. Bofur was the head miner and he would surely listen to Bilbo. "I want to speak to him."_

_"Perhaps later," Thorin said._

_"I want to speak to him now and if he is not fetched for me than I will go and see him myself."_

_Thorin frowned but nodded his head and one of the other medics in the room rushed out to retrieve him so Bilbo leaned against his husband contentedly and let the dwarfs talk over him about things that they didn't know anything about._

* * *

_It didn't take long for Bofur to be fetched. He came into the room and swept off his hat to give a great and funny looking bow. Bilbo grinned stupidly at him from where he was leaning against Thorin. Bofur had always been a funny dwarf and Bilbo liked him very much. "And what can I do for you this fine day?" he asked with his merry grin._

_"Miners' sickness," Bilbo replied._

_"I heard you had it," Bofur agreed. "Nasty business it is. Got me and my cousin Bifur right good a while back, but we got over it real quick. You'll be better soon enough."_

_"No," Bilbo said, shaking his head with his brows pinched in confusion. He knew he had an actual reason for calling Bofur, but for some reason he just couldn't remember what it was._

_"I apologize," Thorin said with a sigh. "He was very insistent that he speak to you, but I see now that it was only part of his sickness."_

_"Not to worry," Bofur said. "I was only working on finishing a wooden toy before going back in the mines tomorrow. Though I do have to say, at this rate I'll be makin' more money off my toys than the mountain. We haven't even found a single gem or vein of gold or nothin'." Bofur frowned at his own words and gave a deep bow once more before putting his funny hat back on and turning to leave._

_"The rocks are sick," Bilbo finally got out before the head miner could leave._

_Bofur turned back with wide eyes. "What did you say?" he asked._

_"The rocks are sick," Bilbo repeated. "They moan in pain and they don't like it, but their sick." And he continued to ramble on like that, but he couldn't even really remember what he was saying._

_Bofur's eyes only got wider while both Thorin and Oin's eyes got narrower in their confusion. "Do you understand what he is saying?" Thorin asked._

_Bofur bowed low and did not come up again until after he said. "I respectfully request to blow the entrance to the caves."_

_"What?" Thorin asked._

_Bofur, for once, seemed completely serious as he frowned. "Prince Haran has good stone sense. No wonder he's got the sickness even though he never goes near the mines. I can't believe I didn't see it before. No wonder we aren't getting anything from the mines. Their sick. They can't produce anything but their making us all sick. It was only affecting the miners because we were the ones in the caves, but if we kept digging everyone would get sick."_

_"I don't understand," Thorin said._

_"The rocks are sick," Bilbo replied, stroking his husband as though it was him that was currently trapped in sickness and not the other way around._

_"That's right," Bofur said. "The rocks are sick. They're making everyone else sick. This has only happened in tales or histories, but all miners are told to be wary of it. I should have seen the signs. We need to close the cave before that happens."_

_"Then do what you must," Thorin nodded. "I will tell my grandfather and my father of what is happening. But first tell me, is the mountain safe for us to live on or will we have to move once more?"_

_"It should be safe for a while," Bofur said. "As long as we block up the cave. The miners' sickness didn't start spreading until we dug farther in, but it will spread outward eventually. It'll be much slower without the opening in the mountain, but yes we will eventually have to move."_

_"Very well," Thorin nodded. "I will speak to my family about this matter. Do what you must and do it quickly, but make sure that there is no one near the mine before you blow it."_

_Bofur nodded, bowed once more, and took off._

_"I told you the rocks were sick," Bilbo said with a silly smile._

_"I know love," Thorin replied, kissing Bilbo's forehead, "and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before now, but you will be better soon enough."_

* * *

Bilbo woke to Oin checking his forehead again. He was tsking and Fili and Kili were still sitting on either side of Bilbo with worried looks and Bilbo wasn't really sure what was going on. "Do I have miners' sickness again?" Bilbo asked Oin and Bofur's, who happened to be standing nearby enough to hear his mumbled words, eyes widened.

"What was that laddie?" Oin asked, pulling his ear trumpet up.

"There's no need to repeat it," Bofur said before Bilbo could do anything of the sort. "It's the trees that are makin' you sick Mister Bilbo. You said that they made you sick because you were a hobbit."

"Oh," Bilbo nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Is he feeling any better?" Thorin asked as he came closer from where he stood somewhat away from the healer so that he could work.

"It doesn't seem so," Oin said, "but there's not much I can do about it at this point. The only thing we can do is hurry out of the forest."

"Right," Thorin nodded. "Then we will move on. Someone must stay with the hobbit and make sure that he doesn't try to wander off into the woods again."

"I will," Bofur said with a grin.

Bilbo frowned, but turned to Fili and Kili who had moved to stand next to each other. "Can you two walk in front of me?" he asked. "I don't want to see you wandering in the woods again."

"Of course we will," Fili and Kili nodded.

Bofur helped Bilbo to his feet and, thankfully, grabbed hold of the arm that wasn't burnt and they moved on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, for some reason that chapter didn't really turn out like my normal writing style (I blame the fact that I just finished rereading the hobbit for the third time (which is saying a lot since I don't particularly like reading books and have rarely read a book twice let alone three times) and my writing is still slightly affected by his) but I'm going to blame it on Bilbo's being sick. I hope you guys all enjoyed this chapter!


	36. Shoddy Workmanship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo doesn't particularly like bridges and he refuses to go over any that are done with shoddy workmanship. Perhaps there's another way across?

"Where are we?" Bilbo asked, lifting his head to see the unfamiliar trees surrounding them. They had been walking for days, but he had no clue where they were going or where they had come from.

"We're in Mirkwood Mr. Bilbo," Bofur said, but they couldn't be in Mirkwood. The elves wouldn't let them pass. They wouldn't even let them hunt in the woods. They had kept such a close eye on them. Why were they in the woods?

"Whose Mr. Bilbo?" Bilbo asked.

"That's you silly," Bofur said.

"No it's not," Bilbo shook his head. Bofur must be suffering some sort of sickness if he couldn't even remember the name of his own prince. Perhaps they should take a rest for a bit so Bofur might be able to get his head on right again.

"Of course it is Mr. Bilbo," Bofur denied and Bilbo frowned. He opened his mouth to object once more, but before he could his husband called the company to a halt in front of a river.

"Is he out of it again?" Thorin asked, coming up to them.

"Again?" Bilbo asked. "Bofur, if you truly are that sick that you keep going out of it, perhaps you should go visit a healer. I suggest Oin. He is the best healer in all of Ered Luin."

Thorin raised a brow at him. "He is," Bofur said. "There's hardly a time where he isn't completely out of it. Though none of us are really doing much better. These forests really are dark and their affecting him really badly."

"Is that water?" Bilbo asked, noticing the river that they had stopped at once more. He was suddenly quite thirsty and he lurched forward to take a sip of it, but before he could Fili and Kili caught ahold of him. They were very big. Much bigger than he remembered them being. "Why you boys have grown!" he exclaimed, completely forgetting about the water. "Your such big boys now. I always knew you would grow up to be so big and strong."

"I think it'd probably be best if we got out of here as soon as possible," Thorin said, staring at Bilbo with a raised brow.

"Where is here?" Bilbo asked. "There's so many trees everywhere. I've never seen so many trees. Where are we?"

"I just told you," Bofur spoke up. "We're in Mirkwood."

Bilbo frowned at that. They weren't allowed in Mirkwood. The elves were keeping them out.

Suddenly, the wooden bridge caught Bilbo's eye and he walked over to it. It had long since been rotted through, and Bilbo almost fell over examining the rot. "Shoddy workmanship," he said with a nod. "Shoddy workmanship."

* * *

_Bilbo stared at the bridge before him with narrowed eyes. By rule, ever since he had almost fallen to his death, he didn't like crossing bridges in the first place, but there was something more about this one that just didn't sit right with him._

_"Haran?" Thorin asked beside him, wondering why he stopped so suddenly._

_"Can we not go another way?" Bilbo asked. They were only newly married and this was the first time that Bilbo was accompanying Thorin to this particular area of the mountain. The prince had been summoned to settle some dispute or another between people and Bilbo was determined to start joining him on any and all royal matters. He wanted to learn everything so that he could help his husband in the future when he became away._

_"We can," Thorin said, "but it would be half a day's walk and it's already past lunch time. This bridge is the quickest way to that side of the mountain. Is something bothering you?"_

_"I don't like bridges," Bilbo frowned. He hadn't yet told his new husband about his dislike of heights, but it would have happened sooner or later. What better time than to avoid this bridge._

_Thorin frowned. "We've passed over several together." But before Bilbo could explain himself he continued. "If you'd like, you can go back. I will go and settle things and I will be back for dinner."_

_"No," Bilbo shook his head. He had decided that he was going to join Thorin during his royal duties and he would not go back on his word now. "I'm sure I'll be fine." He took a step forward, but stopped once more when he realized just what was bothering him about this particular bridge. The mountain itself was telling him not to go that way and if the mountain had reason not to trust something made of its own rock then Bilbo certainly wouldn't trust it either. "I think that it actually may be best that we go another way," he said, stopping Thorin in his tracks._

_His husband opened his mouth to say something, but, suddenly, the mountain shook. Rocks fell around them and Thorin immediately pulled him into a protective hug so that none of them would hit him. But the only thing that Bilbo saw was the bridge that crumbled and fell. Had they walked on without delay, both of them would have fallen into the chasm below where they would surely meet their deaths._

_"An earthquake," Thorin growled, looking at the bridge. "That bridge was not made to our standards. It's lucky that it hasn't collapsed until this point."_

_"Shoddy workmanship," Bilbo agreed. "Let's go back to the throne room and see if we are needed to help the miners dig people out."_

_Thorin nodded, but grabbed Bilbo's arm before he could go. "I don't know what I would have done had you been on that bridge. I'm sorry that I almost made you cross it."_

_"It wasn't your fault," Bilbo shook his head. "That bridge has been there for a while and no one has noticed that it wasn't made to standard."_

_"You did," Thorin pointed out._

_"The mountain did," Bilbo shook his head. "It told me not to go that way."_

_"The mountain?" Thorin asked._

_Bilbo nodded. "I'll explain later. We really do need to go see if anyone needs our help."_

* * *

"That's right Mr. Bilbo," Bofur said as he caught Bilbo's arm and guided him back off the bridge. "We dwarves could have made a much nicer stone bridge that wouldn't have fallen so easy."

"Stone would be much better," Bilbo agreed. "Why didn't you use stone. You always use stone."

"We didn't make the bridge," Bofur said. "It was the elves that made it."

"The elves?" Bilbo asked, looking around. "I don't see any elves."

"There aren't any right now," Bofur replied.

"If they aren't here then how did they make the bridge?"

"They made it a while ago, which is why it collapsed. You see?"

"And, which is why we need to find another way across," Thorin cut in.

"Another way across what?" Bilbo asked.

"The river," Bofur answered.

"We could swim," Bilbo said, but he frowned a moment later. "Hobbits can't swim. Did you know? We just sink right to the bottom like rocks. It doesn't make any sense. Why can dwarves swim when their made like rocks, but hobbits can't swim because they sink like rocks? It doesn't make any sense. But we could swim across the water."

"We can't," Bofur said. "Don't you remember, Mr. Bilbo? The water's enchanted. We can't even touch it."

"Enchanted?" Bilbo asked. "Like the elves?"

"I've had enough dallying," Thorin cut in again. "All of you, look for a way across, but don't leave the path."

"We could take a boat," Bilbo suggested. "A floating boat, you know? A floating rowing boat."

"And where would you suggest we get such a boat?" Thorin scowled. Bilbo frowned at his husband. The dwarf must be tired if he's resorted to snapping at his husband in such a way.

"It's right there," Bilbo pointed across the water and Thorin sighed.

"You're just seeing things again," he said, turning away.

"Wait," Kili said, peering across the water. "Uncle, there really is a boat over there just like Bilbo said."

"A floating rowing boat," Bilbo agreed with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm going to Megacon in Orlando FL this Friday in case anyone's going. I already announced it in another one of my fics, but I thought I should also announce it here for those of you who are only subscribed to this story. I'll be dressed as and older Little Red and you'll be able to recognize me because I'll be with drarrysinful (that's her tumblr name) who will be dressed as Harry Potter. Hope to see you there!


	37. Across the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo barely even knows who he is right now, but he has always refused to send others into danger when he is perfectly able to fight himself. He will go first. Did you know hobbits can't swim?

Fili, who had the second best eyes of the dwarves and the best throwing arm, set about throwing a hook on a rope until at last it caught on the boat's edge. Bilbo clapped excitedly and complimented Fili on his fishing skills as the dwarves tugged the boat until it floated over to them.

"No more than three of us at a time can fit in this boat," Thorin scowled. "And there are no paddles to make our way across."

"They fell in the water," Bilbo pointed out. "When the boat was tugged. We could go get them you know. I don't think the river's that deep. We could probably walk across it and it would only be at your shoulder. That's very deep. I don't think I could walk across that water."

"I have an idea," Fili said. He pulled the hook off the boat, after making sure that it would not drift downstream while he did so, and threw it once more across the water. This time it caught on a low, but sturdy branch. "We could pull ourselves across like this."

"Good thinking," Thorin complimented his nephew.

"Very smart," Bilbo agreed with a nod. Fili only grinned.

"We'll have to go in groups of three," Balin frowned, looking at the boats with some concern. "I would recommend that the strongest go first in order to make sure that there is no danger on the other side."

"I'll go first," Bilbo said, already heading towards the boat. He had never liked fighting, but he hated even more to send someone else into danger when he was perfectly capable of taking it on himself.

* * *

_Bilbo paused outside his door. It had not been long since the attempt on his life and Thorin was still being overly cautious. He had actually given Bilbo even more guards then he was used to. The only reason that he was allowing it for now was to calm Thorin's worry, but he had no intention of keeping them any longer than a week or so. In fact, it had only been a couple of days and they were already starting to get on his nerves. They weren't letting him go anywhere without checking it themselves first. He couldn't even go to the market without a whole circle of guards around him. It would be much better if Loni and Floi were among the number of guards assigned to him, but they were off doing something for Thorin that could not wait so Bilbo was stuck without them._

_"I think that my room is perfectly safe," Bilbo said to the guards before they could try to check it for him._

_"But my lord," one of the guards said, "we were tasked to protect you. What if there are assassins in the room?"_

_Bilbo scowled. "This is my husband and my rooms. I do not appreciate our privacy being intruded upon every time I want to go relax in my rooms. I understand that you are just doing your jobs and I have dealt with it thus far for the sake of my husband, but I need my solitude in my sanctuary without any guards interrupting."_

_The guards looked like the wanted to say more, but they could only open and close their mouths for several minutes. Bilbo watched and waited patiently. It would do him no good to walk away as the guards would simply follow in their confusion. The best thing to be done was to wait for them to come to a decision._

_"Very well," one of the more senior guards said after a moment, "but we will not leave this door. Please call us if you need anything."_

_"Thank you," Bilbo sighed as the guards took posts across the walls around his door. They would stay there, he knew, until Thorin came back from his meeting with his father and grandfather, but it was enough that he was going to be allowed some time alone in his own room._

_Bilbo settled immediately into his chair near the hearth. It was very comfortable and he had practically claimed it as his reading chair the moment he moved in with his husband. The book that he was currently working on sat next to him with a bookmark amongst its pages, but he did not pick it up quite yet. There was something else that he needed to deal with first._

_"I know that you're there," he said aloud. There was a long moment of silence that may have convinced someone else that they were truly alone, but Bilbo would not be fooled. One thing that his father had been sure to teach him when he still held out hope that Bilbo would become one of the king's guards was how to sense a killer even when it seemed that no one was there. Guards had to have this ability if they wanted to protect their king from assassins. He had sensed someone like that following him since the afternoon, waiting for their chance. "You can come out. I won't call the guards. I also won't be drinking or eating anything in this room. If you want to kill me then you'll have to face me."_

_"Not bad," the intruder finally said, stepping out from the shadows and into Bilbo's peripheral. "I thought you would just be some weakling that would die easily, but I see that is not the case."_

_"And who are you?" Bilbo asked, completely ignoring the fact that the intruder had called him weak. It certainly wasn't the first time that someone underestimated him. Even his soulmate had thought him weak in the beginning and there are still some people who believe that he is somehow blackmailing Thorin to pretend to be his soul mate so that he wouldn't have to do any work._

_"You expect me to tell you?" he raised a brow._

_Bilbo nodded. "I had thought you would want someone to know the name of the person who would try to kill the prince's husband."_

_"Try?" asked the assassin._

_"Try," Bilbo nodded, standing from his seat and stretching his legs. His sword was no longer strapped to his hip since he took it off like he always did when he walked into his room, but that did not mean that he was unarmed. Many of the dwarves were still unaware that Bilbo preferred to keep several daggers hidden on his person._

_"And who do you think will stop me? The guards? Even if you did call them, I would have killed you and been out of here before they even knew what happened."_

_"I already said that I wouldn't call the guards," Bilbo pointed it out. "There's no point in putting them in danger when I can take care of you myself."_

_The intruder laughed. "You think you can beat me?" Suddenly, his eyes turned darker and a dagger was in his hand as he was lunging forward._

_Bilbo moved to the side, allowing the assassin to collide with his table. There would be a dent in it later that Bilbo would have to explain to his husband, but it was nothing to worry about now. While the assassin was off balance, having not expected Bilbo to dodge when most dwarves would have stood their ground and defended, Bilbo thrust one of his own daggers forward. He managed to make a cut across the assassin's back, but the dwarf had moved just in time to make it only a shallow cut. "Tell me who has hired you to kill me," Bilbo said._

_"It'll mean nothing to you when you are dead," the assassin replied, turning around to make another attack. This time he was more cautious and Bilbo wasn't used to his swift way of fighting. He had been able to have some practice fights with the elves who had shown his similar agility, but he was used to it coming only from someone of a great height as dwarves were not very agile creatures. Until this assassin, he had been the only person he or his family had ever known that fought so quickly._

_The fight gave neither of them the upper hand for some time and both were showing wounds from it, but Bilbo still held himself back, trying to coax the name of either the assassin or the person who hired him. If he allowed himself to fight with his full strength and speed, he was afraid that this assassin would either be knocked out or possibly even killed before he got his answer. "Tell me who has hired you to kill me," he said again._

_"If you truly want to know," the assassin grinned. "I will tell you. The person who hired me was Prince Thorin."_

_Bilbo faltered and earned a dagger in his shoulder. He did not believe, of course, that his husband would ever order such a thing, but he had certainly not expected the intruder to try to blame his husband and it caught him off guard. It was actually a good plan as a way to break a person during a fight, but Bilbo would not be so easily swayed into distrusting his soul mate. "That was a big mistake," Bilbo said, grabbing the arm that held the dagger in his shoulder. The dwarf tried to yank himself free, but Vorin had made sure that his son had a very strong grip and it would not be broken so easily. "Never," Bilbo said as he thrust one of his many daggers into the assassins elbow, "accuse my husband," another dagger was thrust into the dwarf's other shoulder before he could attempt to use it to defend himself, "of hiring someone like you," another dagger to the side, "to kill me." He dropped the assassin now, glaring down at him as he set a foot upon his stomach to keep him from getting away. "I will give you one last chance to tell me who hired you."_

_"And then what?" the assassin scowled. "Are you going to kill me?"_

_"No," Bilbo shook his head. "Now that you are no longer a threat to anyone, I will call the guards in and they will take you to prison where I am sure my husband, Prince Thorin, will be glad to have you tortured until you tell him everything that you know. I have heard that the guards down in the dungeons can think of very creative tortures. Tell me what you know and you will not have to deal with that."_

_"I will never talk," the assassin hissed._

_"Very well," Bilbo shook his head. "Guards!" Several of Bilbo's guards immediately burst into the room and captured the assassin. "Take him to the dungeons," Bilbo said, "and tell my husband that I have caught that assassin. I am sure that he will be eager to find out who hired him. Also, send a healer to treat him as we don't want him to die before we can get our answers."_

_"A healer will be sent to you as well," one of the guards said. Bilbo had some minor amount of medical training, but it was only taught to him as it was taught to every other dwarf who would become a warrior or a hunter for the sake of minor injuries that occurred in the field. Most of his wounds were just that, but he had to agree that it would be best to see a healer for the wound in his shoulder and just in case the dagger had some sort of poison so he nodded. "And we will not be leaving your side until Prince Thorin returns."_

_"I expect no less," Bilbo smiled. Thorin would be back as soon as he heard the news anyway. "But I will also not let my husband blame any of you for this, so you should not blame yourselves either."_

* * *

"Oh no you won't," Thorin said, tugging Bilbo away from the boat. "You will go last with Bombur. You are the smallest and you will fit best with him."

"Hobbits are very small," Bilbo agreed, looking over at Bombur. "Then Bombur and I will go together. Do you have any sweets Bombur? I do love your cooking and I would really like some sweets. Did you know that some people say that a hobbits only real passion is for food? That's complete nonsense, you know. We also very much like pipe weed and ale. I could do with some ale. Do you think that we'll come across a tavern anytime soon?"

Thorin scowled as he and Fili and Kili settled down in the boat to be the first across the enchanted waters. "Make sure he doesn't wander away or fall in or something. That's the last thing that we need right now."

"Fall in where?" Bilbo asked, looking around and around until he spotted the water. "Oh! Are we crossing the water on a boat? Why don't we use that bridge over there? I don't particularly like boats. Did you know hobbits can't swim? They sink right to the bottom like rocks."


	38. Cross the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time to cross the water, but don't insult Bilbo's weight. Or is it Haran's? Just don't call him skinny.

Getting all the dwarves to the other side of the water was a long process. They had to drag themselves three at a time across the running water that seemed to fight them the whole way. Then they had to pull the boat back and start the whole process over again. They also had to constantly stop Bilbo from doing something rather stupid in his haze, but they did eventually manage to get everyone across until it was only him and Bombur.

"Why is everyone over there?" Bilbo asked. "What are we waiting for?"

Bombur caught his arm and pulled him back before he could try to walk straight into the water. Again. "We're going over there now," he said. "We just need to get in the boat."

"The boat?" Bilbo asked, looked at the thing that everyone had used to cross the water. "That doesn't look safe."

"It's perfectly safe," Bombur said. "Everyone else has ridden in it."

"I don't know. Why don't we just use that bridge over there? It looks much safer than the boat."

"I'll get in first," Bombur smiled. "If it doesn't sink with my weight than it surely won't sink with yours."

"Are you calling me skinny?" Bilbo frowned. "How very rude. I'll have you know that I am a very well rounded gentlehobbit. I'm not skinny at all. That's just insulting. I'm not skinny. I'm filled with muscle. You should've seen me before I got injured. I'm not skinny. I'm strong."

* * *

" _Wait!" Bilbo said as they headed back to the throne room after the earthquake. They stood at a crossroads with every intention to continue straight through, but the mountain called Bilbo another way. "This way," he said._

_"Why?" Thorin asked even as he followed his husband. "There's nothing down here."_

_Bilbo frowned. Thorin's words seemed to ring true as not even the torches in this area were lit, but the mountain was insistent. Whatever it wanted to show him must have been truly important. "Just trust me," he said._

_"Of course," Thorin said immediately._

_Slowly sounds started to filter through the hall. Screams for help became audible when nothing could be heard farther down. There was no sounds of digging or of anyone trying to rescue the trapped. Just the screams._

_Thorin and Bilbo glanced at each other for a short moment before they both took off running until they came to a wall of stone._

_"Hello!" Bilbo called out. "Can you hear me?" There was no answer. "This doesn't look very stable. We need to get them out of there as soon as possible."_

_"Right," Thorin agreed. "You go and get help and I'll start trying to dig them out."_

_"No," Bilbo grabbed Thorin's arm. "You have no experience digging. If you take the wrong thing, this whole wall could collapse and bury you and anyone else trapped in there. I will stay. You go get help."_

_"You have no experience either," Thorin pointed out. "I will not leave you here in danger."_

_"I don't have experience," Bilbo agreed, "but the mountain will tell me what to do. Trust me Thorin. Go get help."_

_Thorin hesitated for a moment, but Bilbo had already learned that the best way to get his soul mate to do something for him in these situations was simply to as the other to trust him. Thorin had more than once claimed that his trust was absolute, but he still always felt the need to prove it after what had happened when he rejected him._

_"I will be fine," Bilbo said and Thorin nodded._

_"I will be back as soon as possible," Thorin promised before turning and running back towards the throne room. Bilbo did not doubt it. In fact, he had the feeling that if he didn't need to actually show the rescue crew where they were going to need to go, he would return before they were even gathered for him._

_"Right," Bilbo said to himself. "Time to get to work." He reached out for one of the larger rocks near the base, wanting to get the hardest work done first, but as soon as his fingers came into contact with it a sudden feeling came over him that was so strong it actually repelled him. "Well," Bilbo whispered. "This is going to be harder than I thought."_

* * *

_By the time the rescue crew arrived Bilbo was covered in dust and had some bruises that he knew that Thorin would not be happy about later, but he had made enough progress that they could actually speak with the miners on the other side. The rescue crew was actually surprised to find him lifting some of the heavier rocks and he wasn't surprised by it. Most of the people who had disapproved of Thorin and his marriage had sighted that they thought he was too weak as their reason and Bilbo wouldn't be surprised if a lot of their people thought he was very weak for a dwarf, but the truth was that he just had lean muscles and, just like his mother, seemed weak because of it. It was true that he wasn't the strongest of dwarves, Thorin and Dwalin were no doubt much stronger than he, but he was by no means weak either._

_"We'll take it from here," said on of the dwarves from the rescue crew. "You should take a break."_

_Bilbo wanted to protest and was about to do so when a hand landed on his shoulder. "Come on laddie," said Balin. "You need a break before Thorin has a fit about you putting yourself in danger."_

_Suddenly, Bilbo felt the exhaustion of all the work that he had done thus far overcome him. He may not be weak, but this type of job was not something he was used to and there was certainly something to be said about all the work that the miners did on a daily basis. He also noticed that Thorin immediately took his place and was certain that his husband would not rest until the task was done. Bilbo smiled at the older dwarf and allowed himself to be lead away. He knew Balin well enough to know that the older dwarf would find something else for him to do anyway._

_"We are setting up a nursing area down the hall a ways," Balin said as he took Bilbo to that very place. "We have water and food for anyone who should become exhausted. And we have runners ready to go and grab more supplies should we need it. We would have brought more supplies here to begin with, but there are other collapses that we have to deal with and all of them have a smaller crew than we're used to using in these situations. We've even had to pull in some of the dwarrowdams to help us."_

_"I'm sure we'll make do," Bilbo smiled. "Are the royal family okay? I think I remember something about one of them going to visit the mines today."_

_Balin looked impressed, but he shook his head. "Prince Thrain was down in the mines this morning, but he was not there when the earthquake hit. We were more concerned about the two of you."_

_"A bridge collapsed a ways down," Bilbo said, motioning in the direction of the bridge with the shoddy worksmanship, "but we were not on it when it did so."_

_"That was lucky," Balin said._

_"Indeed," Bilbo agreed, though he could tell by Balin's look that he had noticed something suspicious in the tone of voice._

_"Brother!" Balin was distracted suddenly as Dwalin came back from where they were digging with his elbow somehow misshapen. "What on earth have you done to yourself?"_

_"It wasn't my fault," Dwalin scowled. "I just moved one of the rocks and then a whole lot of them came down on me."_

_"And I suppose you did not stick to the instructions the miners were giving you?" Balin asked with a raised brow. By now Bilbo had already realized that Dwalin had the tendency to act without thinking when another's life was in danger damn the consequences. He had probably started working on his own thinking that he could get it done quicker without having to follow the miners instructions._

_Dwalin only scowled harder as Balin set his arm back to right and then made a sling to keep it still against his chest. "It is very hard work, moving all those rocks," he said suddenly, looking over at Bilbo as he handed the dwarf some water._

_"Indeed it is," Bilbo agreed. "I don't know how the miners do it. I certainly wouldn't be able to do that for a full work day."_

_"Some would say that you would not be able to do that at all." Dwalin said. It was not meant as an insult, Bilbo knew, even though it may have been coming from other's lips. Dwalin had already been a witness to his strength and had no doubt about his abilities. "The miners were all very impressed and they won't stop talking about it."_

_"Thank you," Bilbo smiled. "Perhaps I will go back and help them."_

_"You will not," Balin said. "I need someone to help me here."_

_"But now you have Dwalin," Bilbo pointed out. "He cannot dig anymore, so he can help here."_

_"Dwalin will be no use to me," Balin rolled his eyes. "Anything he cannot do with his strength, my brother fails at."_

_"I heard that," Dwalin scowled, but Balin just waved him off._

_"I need some real conversation," Balin said. "Besides, Thorin would kill me if I let you go back there. We need at least one of you sane and healthy and I rather prefer it to be you."_

_Bilbo laughed, but he did finally agree. Balin did have a point. In times like this when a royal couple was involved in some sort of dangerous event, except during battle, it was customary for one of the members in a royal couple to remain safe just in case the other should get injured. He didn't like it very much, but he didn't particularly have to. Besides, he knew he could do a lot of help here and he knew Thorin, being one of the strongest dwarves in all of Erebor, would be of more use in moving the rocks than he._

* * *

"There," Bombur said as he settled on the boat. "See, the boat didn't sink."

"Why are you getting in that boat?" Bilbo asked. "Where is everyone?"

"We're going to meet them across the water," Bombur pointed across and Bilbo peered over to the other side.

"That's a long way," Bilbo pointed. "Can't we just take the bridge?"

"No," Bombur shook his head. "Come on. It'll be over in no time. The sooner you get in the sooner we can get out."

"Alright," Bilbo shrugged and stepped into the boat. Bombur quickly started tugging on the rope as soon as he was seated as though afraid that he would suddenly get up at and jump out. "I don't know what all the fuss is about this boat anyway. We could just swim across."

"I thought you said that hobbits sink when they get in the water. Like rocks, you said."

"Do they?" Bilbo asked. "I've never seen a hobbit before."

"You are a hobbit," Bombur said.

"No," Bilbo shook his head. "I'm a dwarf. You should know that. Are you feeling alright Bombur? First Bofur and now you."

"No Mr. Bilbo," Bombur said adamantly. "You are a hobbit. It's just these woods that are making you say these things."

"I am not crazy," Bilbo scowled, standing suddenly and rocking the boat dangerously. "I am Haran, Son of Vorin, Soulmate of Thorin, and I am a Prince of Erebor." Bombur froze midstroke and Bilbo assumed it was because the dwarf didn't want him to lose his balance and fall over the edge so he settled himself back on his seat, but still the dwarf did not move. He peered across what was left of the water and saw those dwarves were also all frozen in their places, staring wide eyed at him. Except there was one dwarf missing. "Where's Thorin?"

The dwarves all collectively sighed and Bilbo wondered what it was that had them all concerned in the first place. "He went to scout ahead," Kili called out from the shore.

"Just as long as he stays on the path," Bilbo nodded. "Gandalf said not to stray from the path and I would very much like to get back on it if you don't mind, Bombur."

Bombur nodded and quickly started pulling them once more.

"I don't like water. We hobbits sink. Like rocks."


	39. Across the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've finally crossed the water and Bilbo has managed not to sink like a rock, but there's more trouble on the other side.

It seemed as though the whole group gave massive sighs of relief when they reached the other side of the water and were both on dry ground, which Bilbo thought was a little unfair to Bombur. The dwarf had done a spectacular job in getting them across. The dwarves shouldn't have worried so much.

"Where's Thorin?" Bilbo asked.

"He went to look ahead," Kili replied. "I told you that a moment ago."

"You did?" Bilbo asked. "I don't remember that. Are you sure you said it out loud? Sometimes I think things and think I say them out loud, but they don't actually come out. Have you done that? What did you think that you said?"

"Actually," Balin said, "where is Thorin? He left the moment my brother and I crossed and we were the second group to do so. He should be back by now."

"Did he get lost?" Bilbo asked. "He's always getting lost outside the mountain you know. And he refuses to ask for directions, which is quite annoying when the men avoid talking to me. No one wants to interact with a cripple you know. It's rather rude, if you ask me. Maybe we should go look for Thorin. He might be lost you know. He gets lost real easy."

* * *

_"Where are we going?" Bilbo asked with a smile. Thorin had taken him to one of the cities of men near Ered Luin, but refused to tell him where exactly they were supposed to be heading. His husband was currently glaring at a map in his hand like it had personally offended. Bilbo couldn't help but to think that he might actually think that it had._

_Finally Thorin growled and crumpled the map in his hands. "This thing is useless," he said._

_"I should think so," Bilbo said, "since it has been leading us in circles for quite some time now."_

_Thorin scowled. "It's not my fault Dwalin can't give directions."_

_"You asked directions from Dwalin?" Bilbo openly laughed now. "Well no wonder we're lost. That dwarf is horrible with directions. Why didn't you ask Balin?"_

_Thorin hesitated for a moment and Bilbo raised his one good eyebrow. "Balin already showed me the way," he finally admitted._

_"And you forgot," Bilbo smiled. "Don't worry husband dearest. I know this place well enough. I'm sure we can get directions from one of the stalls nearby."_

_"No!" Thorin said quickly. "I don't need their help."_

_Bilbo was surprised, but he knew well enough not to push his husband on this matter. There was something going on. Something that he was not to know until it happened. Their good friends had been acting strange for some time now and Bilbo had long since become suspicious of them. Thorin had been acting the strangest out of all of them. He had been spending a lot of time at the smithies and, whenever he thought that Bilbo was not watching, he would poor over maps, trying to memorize the directions._

_Bilbo didn't want to say anything about it, but he had looked at the maps Thorin had been given and even he couldn't make out what any of it meant. Dwalin truly was horrible at giving directions. The dwarf didn't get lost nearly as often as his own husband, but Bilbo had the feeling that the only reason for that was because he could more often than not blame Thorin for getting them lost when he was trailing as the prince's guard._

_"Well then what should we do?" he asked of his husband._

_"I-" Thorin began to say. His shoulders were slumped and he looked more than a little upset with himself as he glanced at the men milling around. Bilbo had a suspicion that the only reason Thorin was refusing to ask for help in this one instance was because he didn't want Bilbo to hear where they were going._

_"You know what," Bilbo grinned. "I think I'm a bit tired of walking around. Perhaps we should go to the tavern. It's right around the corner. We could have a drink while we try to figure out what to do next." Perhaps that would give his husband enough time to slip away and ask for directions. Besides, they hadn't yet been able to make a tavern in Ered Luin and many of the dwarves, including Bilbo himself, were missing the atmosphere and the ale that was always flowing in such establishments._

_"The tavern?" Thorin asked, his head picking up as he did so._

_"Of course," Bilbo smiled. Apparently he had found out their destination on accident. "It's just over that way." He pointed in the direction that he meant before taking the arm of his husband. "Lead the way."_

* * *

_"Surprise!" came the loud cry as they finally opened the door to the tavern._

_Bilbo's eyes widened as he saw the sight before him. He was not at all surprised that Thorin had somehow managed to plan a surprise party for their anniversary behind his back. It was more the sheer magnitude of it all. There were no humans in the tavern besides those that worked there, yet the entire building was filled to the brim with dwarves of the Blue Mountains. There was even some decorations that Bilbo was sure the young Ori had helped his two young nephews make._

_Thorin grinned proudly as he lead Bilbo over to the only table with empty places which was as close to the fire place as possible while still being against the wall. They did have to make sure that no one could try to make an attempt on their lives while they were completely surrounded in the strange place. At that table, Dis sat with her two sons between her and the wall and Dwalin was on her other side. Balin sat closest to the wall on the other side and Thorin allowed Haran to slip into his seat next to him before sitting across from Dwalin. Thrain and Thror had more than likely regrettably informed Thorin that they could not make it since they would be needed in the ruling of the mountain especially with the youngest generations of the royal family away for the day._

_"Good to see you brother," Dis smirked. "We were beginning to think that we would never see either of you. That you would be lost forever."_

_"We were getting impatient," Dwalin agreed. "We couldn't start the drinking until you two got here."_

_Thorin only scowled at his friend. "We got here didn't we?"_

_"Indeed we did," Bilbo said, "and this is a lovely party. Did you do all this for me?"_

_"I didn't do it myself," Thorin said. "Everyone helped."_

_"Yea," Dwalin agreed. "We actually had to deny some help. Everyone was all eager to make this the perfect day."_

_"Well they do love their prince," Bilbo smiled._

_"They love you both," Dis said. "I can't tell you how many times people came to me asking what you would like for your anniversary present."_

_"Oh," Bilbo frowned. "I hope they didn't spend too much on us. We don't need presents when everyone is struggling. I am just happy to see everyone here."_

_"Which is exactly what I told them you would say," Dis replied. "I swear some of them swooned about how absolutely generous you are. Saying that they were so glad that you were the one that married my brother. I think some of them might like you more than him."_

_"That's not true," Bilbo said with a blush. Though, when he looked over at his husband Thorin had one of the proudest grins he had ever seen as he wrapped his arm gently around him._

* * *

Suddenly, a great white deer appeared on the path before them, rushing straight at them. "Pretty," Bilbo said, pointing to the creature even as it came bounding towards them.

"Get out of the way!" Fili yelled, pulling his brother out of the creature's path.

The deer dodged to the side and an arrow flew past it. Bilbo stumbled a few steps back until he slipped on the water at his feet and the arrow went over his head. Then the deer jumped on the boat and used it to catapult it across the water to the other bank and the splash of it went right over Bilbo's head.

"Well that was rude," Bilbo said, holding out his hands and looking very much like a drowned rat. The dwarves all stared wide-eyed at him as he sat in the water that lapped at his waist. "Now I'm all wet. And tired. You guys are all blurry. Did you know that? You… should fix…that…I'll just…take a…nap…while you…do."

"Bilbo!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I don't know what happened with this chapter, but I'm not so happy with it. I'll make sure that the next one is much better. Hope you guys continue to enjoy reading it.


	40. Some Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his dreams Bilbo realizes something that he honestly can't decide whether or not it is comforting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly do not know why this chapter was so hard to write. I'm so sorry for the long wait, but I hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless.

Bilbo honestly had no clue where he was. Which was weird since this was the first time in days, or was it weeks, that he had felt completely lucid. At least he thought he was lucid. It's kind of hard to tell when you wake in a white room with no walls or roof or floor to be seen in any direction. Honestly, Bilbo wasn't even sure what he was standing on, though he was absolutely sure that he was standing and not floating.

The last thing he remembered was the great white deer coming towards him and falling into the water. Everything before and after that was just a blur. Miner's sickness, or something of the like. That he remembered. How to get out of wherever he was, on the other hand, he had no clue about.

"Well no use standing here," he said to himself. "I'll have to look for an exit sooner or later. Better to get it done sooner rather than later. No knowing what those crazy dwarves are getting up to without me." And they were crazy. Who in their right mind would go to face a dragon with 14 dwarves. Well, 13 dwarves and a hobbit. Maybe Bilbo wasn't exactly in his right mind either.

At least it was righter than before.

"Or maybe not," Bilbo said to himself when he finally came upon something other than white. Though he wasn't really sure what it was. It could be either a mirror or a window of some sort. Honestly, the only reason that Bilbo could see it at all was because it was cracking.

The thing that made him doubt his own mind, however, was the sight of himself, well himself as he was when he was a dwarf, standing on the other side staring at him.

"Well Bilbo Baggins," he said to himself, "you have lost your mind. Seeing the wrong reflection."

Only, his reflection did not speak with him. Instead Haran frowned, shook his head, pointed to his ear, and silently said something that Bilbo did not at all understand.

"Are you actually real?" Bilbo asked, reaching out to touch the glass separating him and his counterpart.

Haran could only shake his head, still unable to hear anything through the glass. He too reached his hand out towards the glass and Bilbo wondered for a moment what would happen if they actually touched. Only, they couldn't actually touch through the glass. It was too thick and Haran's fingers barely came close to his before they were stopped.

A loud crack sounded as both their hands touched the glass and Bilbo was thrown suddenly back into darkness.

* * *

"Oh misty eye of the mountain below," _he started singing the prayer that had always calmed him shakily._

keep careful watch of my brother's soul,

and should the sky be filled with fire and smoke,

keep watching over Durin's son"

_Haran sighed as he stoked the fireplace. He shouldn't be there. This was Bilbo's body and he was dead, but Bilbo couldn't handle the trauma of finding his parents dead even if he didn't realize that's what had happened. He couldn't stay long. If he stayed too long he would kill Bilbo. After all, a dead soul cannot inhabit living flesh and he had already, possibly irrevocably, damaged their connection by forcing his way through when he realized that this trauma could possibly break Bilbo._

_The first thing he would need to do is find some way to bury Bilbo's parents. Therein lay another problem. Even if he could look at their bodies without feeling the sickness of Bilbo's emotions rise up, the young body he was using was weak and there was no way he could create such graves in a quick enough time to not damage Bilbo. He could go out and try to find help, but there was no knowing what orcs would be nearby and he wasn't sure he would be able to defend them._

_Still, that may be the only choice._

_Haran went to Bilbo's mother's glory box and found the sharp blades that once showed Bilbo only so that he would know where they were if ever he was in danger and alone. Haran didn't think she had any idea of something like this happening, but he was very glad not to be completely defenseless in this weak body._

_Suddenly, the door to the hobbit hole swung open and Haran turned swiftly to face it, blade ready to be thrown from each hand. Only, it wasn't an orc, but a human who entered. The man in the dark cloak didn't even have his weapon unsheathed and he put his hands up as though in surrender._

_"Who are you?" Haran demanded._

_"I'm Arathorn, son of Arador," said the man. "I am the leader of rangers who had been hunting the pack of orcs. We tried to stop them before they came this far, but we were too late. For that I am sorry."_

_"And how do I know that you can be trusted?" Haran asked, though he did lower his weapons. The rangers had been kind to them when they made their home in the Blue Mountains, and Arathorn himself had set up trade agreements with Thorin before they set off to battle in Moria, but he had never met the man and he knew how men could lie. He had no way of knowing that this man was who he said he was._

_"If you don't feel that you can trust me, then you are welcome to throw that knife at me," said the man. He probably believed that Haran would miss, which was likely in this body that he wasn't used to, but that was still something a man only very confident in his words would say._

_"Very well," Haran nodded, slipping the blades back into their place in the glory box. "Then I trust him to you. Take care of him."_

_Arathorn only had a moment to look confused before Bilbo was wailing and rushing towards him looking for the comfort only a good hug would give him._

* * *

Bilbo startled awake suddenly. He hadn't known about that. Out of all the memories that he had gained from this journey, he had never believed it possible that Haran could take over his body. Would it happen again? Would Haran force himself to the front if he thought he was needed? Bilbo honestly wasn't sure if that was a comforting thought or not.

But he really didn't have time to worry about such things, he realized suddenly, as he was currently wrapped in some sort of cocoon made of webs with a massive spider looming over him and he could already feel the sickness of the woods overwhelming him again. This wasn't good.


	41. Meeting Elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has to save his friends from spiders, but miner's sickness is already returning. Perhaps the elves will be some help

Bilbo was not a big fan of spiders. They could be rather useful in keeping the bugs away from his garden, but he had never liked seeing them around his house. When he was a young hobbit he had been afraid of the nasty little things. In fact, it was only his father's explanation of their uses in the gardens that stopped Bilbo from running away screaming every time he saw one and even that was a near thing. Now Bilbo is always quick dispatch of any of those nasty things if he should ever see them in his house.

A giant spider was no different. Well, at least, it wasn't any different in the sense that Bilbo was quick to get rid of it, through distraction or other means. What was different was the way his heart beat so quickly in his fear filled adrenaline that he knew he was going to have nightmares about this in the future. But there was no time to think of that.

Miner's sickness was closing in and clouding his mind, but no matter how confused Bilbo was, he would not leave his friends to die by these creatures. Of course he needed to actually find them first.

Something moved to his left and he quickly slashed at it, but it wasn't a spider. He watched in fascination as the big blob of white slowly fell to the ground, barely glancing off branches, like some weirdly large snow flake. There were more ahead of him and Bilbo giggled as he cut the strings and watched each one fall until no more remained within his immediate reach. He frowned then, wanting to play some more with the weird snow and wondered if he could somehow put the white blobs back where they were so he could cut them down.

When he looked down at the floor, however, to assess his plan he found his friends having all the fun in the snow without him. "When did you all get down there?" he called out to them.

"Bilbo!" someone yelled back. "Watch out!" But it was already too late and a great long spidery leg very rudely pushed him from his perch.

Bilbo really did not like heights and he was sure that this time he would surely do more harm than his luck had allowed him thus far. And yet he was caught right out of the air by a large man that Bilbo had never seen before. "You're not Gandalf," he said, but that was very rude. His mother had just been telling him the other day that he needed to learn to speak with some manners.

* * *

_"You're not a man," Bilbo said as he looked up and up and up at a very tall person with long pointed ears. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Haran! Your manners." his mother gasped from behind him. "I apologize. This is the first time my son has been out of the mountain and he doesn't yet know his manners."_

_The tall creature only laughed. "I take no offense. You would be surprised how many children ask something along the same lines." Then he knelt low to look Bilbo straight in the face. "You are right, I am not a man. I am an elf."_

_"An elf!" Bilbo gasped. "I've never seen an elf before. I heard that elves were supposed to be shorter than us."_

_"Haran!" his mother said again. "I am terribly sorry."_

_But the elf still looked on with amusement. "You think of the hobbits. They are very short, but have pointed ears like us. See." And he turned his head so Bilbo could indeed see the pointed ears._

_"Wow!" he said. "Can I have pointed ears like that?"_

_"Maybe someday," the elf said. "Now. To answer your other question. I am selling my bows to the men of this city. I have the best archery equipment around and all the hunters come to me when they have broken their own and need replacements."_

_"What's a bow?" Bilbo asked._

_"It's a weapon," the elf replied._

_"Oh!" Bilbo said. "Like a sword or an axe?" He smiled, proud of himself for remembering his lessons about the types of weaponry that a dwarf used, but his mother did not look so impressed. Instead her face was pinched as though Bilbo was doing something terribly wrong, but Bilbo couldn't find what it was and since his mother would not correct him he could not fix it._

_"Those are weapons indeed," said the elf, "but not quite the same as a bow. Would you like to see one?"_

_"Yea," Bilbo said, holding out his hands and waiting impatiently for the item to be placed in them._

_"You don't have to do that," his mother said, but the elf only shook his head._

_"Nonsense," said the elf as he handed his smallest bow to Bilbo. "Not many dwarves take interest in my wares. It's nice to show it off."_

_"But what does it do?" Bilbo asked, plucking at the string with a little grin as it made weird sounds._

_"Let me show you," said the elf as he took another much more well used bow and notched an arrow before letting it fly to the adjacent wall of his shop where it imbedded deep into the stone._

_"Wow!" Bilbo gasped. "I want to do that!" but there were no arrows within his reach and no long sticks to act as replacements._

_"Maybe someday you will," the elf said. "Here. I'll give you this bow so you can practice with it."_

_"Really?!" Bilbo's eyes widened and he clutched his new bow close to him as though it were one of the stuffed toys his mother made for him for his birthdays._

_"No!" his mother said and Bilbo's eyes began to water at her refusal. "You don't have to do that. We'll pay for it."_

_"Nonsense," said the elf. "Let him have it. I have had that one for some time now and I think it was meant to go to him."_

_"You don't have to do that," his mother said again, but she was starting to get that look that she gets when she's giving up an argument._

_"Not to worry. I'm sure he'll take good care of it."_

_"I will!" Bilbo grinned._

_"Haran," his mother sighed. "Your manners."_

_"Thank you," Bilbo said as his mother ushered him out before he could somehow get himself another gift from this kind elf. "Have a good day mister."_

_"And you as well," the elf said, waving at them as they disappeared from view._

* * *

"Release him!" Thorin growled when the elf who caught him landed near the dwarves.

"First I find dwarves trespassing in our lands and now I discover that you have kidnapped a child," the elf said.

"He's not a child," Thorin hissed.

"My mother told me not to talk to strangers," Bilbo said at the same time and the elf did not look at all convinced by Thorin's claim.

"He is a hobbit," Balin cut in before Thorin could do anything else to anger the elves. "The sickness of the woods have been affecting him our entire journey and I fear that he is not himself."

The elf's eyes narrowed as another came forth with the weapon that Thorin had found in the trolls' cave. "And now you are thieves. Your word cannot be trusted. I will take you to see my father and he will decide what to do with you."

"You have pretty hair," Bilbo said, yanking on the elf's long blonde hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh guys. I'm so sorry this took so long. This chapter was surprisingly hard to write for some reason. I hope you guys like it nonetheless.


	42. Dwarves in Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've entered Thranduil's realm and Bilbo feels much better, but that does not mean that he has to be happy about it.

The large gate of Thranduil's realm loomed before them and Bilbo was awed by it even as the dwarves grumbled and fought against the chains that held them. It reminded Bilbo very much of what he used to believe the gate to the elves' realm looked like in the forests surrounding the shire. Very similar to a Hobbit door only much bigger and made out of trees instead of the hills that Bilbo's own smial was created from.

The entrance grew larger as they approached it until it hung above them and a wave of fresh air overcame them, washing away whatever remained of the sickness from the forest. No sickness would be allowed in the realm of the elves.

Suddenly Bilbo came back to himself only to find himself carried as though he were a child. He had honestly never been so insulted in his life. "Put me down!" he demanded, wriggling free of the elf's hold. He would not be so childish as to start hitting the elf when he knew that his strength would be nothing against the other and his weapon had long since been taken away from him, so the only thing that he could do was continue to demand that he be released as he struggled. "Put me down!"

Thorin, who remained at the front of the party, surged forward to try and help Bilbo, but the chains held him back. He could only growl and curse at the elves and Bilbo had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. He loved his Soulmate very much, but in these moments the dwarf could sometimes seem like a ravage dog fighting against his chains. It was unkingly, but no one would say anything about it as Bilbo himself wanted to snap at these elves. He didn't hold anything against elves in particular, he actually found them quite a lovely breed, but this particular kingdom he absolutely hated. Not for the same reasons as Thorin, but not exactly for different reasons either.

* * *

_They had been traveling for several days when they finally came around the lake. The men had not been able to ferry them across as they were dealing with the loss of their own and so the dwarves were forced to go the long way around. They were already low on food and even what little fish they could catch from the edges of the lake, as no one wanted to risk going farther out and getting left behind in the confusion, was not enough to feed all those who survived the dragon's fire. It was only a relief when they found themselves coming upon the forests of Greenwood. Dwarves, after all, were far better hunters than fishermen. They had long since needed to go into these particular trees, but no one thought it too difficult._

_Except there were Elves to contend with. Bilbo watched, Fili sleeping in his arm, as several dwarves took up spear and arrow to travel into the forest only to be cast out of it again. He had noticed the elves watching them from the tress, but he thought there purpose was to make sure that the dwarves remained safe on their journey passing as their alliance might dictate, but instead their sole purpose was to keep them out of their forest._

_"Please!" one of the dwarves who had tried more than once to journey into the forest only to be cast out again begged. "I have a daughter, but no food to feed her."_

_"If you come into our forest," said the blonde elf who seemed to be leading the group, "you will only get lost. Then you will never return to your daughter."_

_"Would you be willing to guide us?" Bilbo asked. He may not be strong enough to defend his people right now and he was not good for much more than carrying his nephew around when he was too tired, but Bilbo had always been good with words. "If you guide us, we will not get lost and you can limit what animals we take from your forest."_

_"i have been ordered not to allow any dwarves into our forest under any circumstance," said the elf._

_"Then perhaps you would be willing to trade with us," Bilbo tried. "We do not have much, but we would be wiling to trade for any food that you are willing to provide."_

_"My king has not given me permission to barter with you," said the elf._

_"Then go and tell him of my proposition," Bilbo said. "Take a bead from my hair," as they were the only thing that Bilbo had left other than his wedding ring that he would not sell even if starvation was upon him, "and show it as an offering."_

_The elf did not move forward to take the bead from Bilbo's hair, knowing what an insult to a dwarf it would be for some untrusted person to take it, so Bilbo nodded to the dwarf who still stood beside him to take one._

_"And why should he care for the bead of some dwarf?" the elf asked._

_"I am Haran, son of Vorin," Bilbo said, standing proud despite the pain and the heavy burden in his arms, "husband and soulmate to Prince Thorin. That bead was crafted by his hand and was braided into my hair by him. No other has touched it before now. It is precious to me. Will you take it to your king as an offering and a request for the aid of food for my people?"_

_Suddenly, the way the elf looked at him seemed to change. He no longer looked as though he was speaking to yet another dwarf attempting to steal into his forest, but instead with the respect given to any noble come to barter for trade agreements. "I am Legolas, son of King Thranduil and you have my word that I shall take this to my father with your request."_

_"Thank you," Bilbo sighed, but he waited until the elves disappeared into the forest to allow himself to relax. He had no doubt that they still watched them from deep within, but it was the principal of the matter and what it would mean to his dwarves that truly mattered._

_"Prince Haran?" said the dwarf that still had yet to leave his side._

_"I am fine," Bilbo sighed, though he swayed slightly on his feet. He had been standing for too long and his pain was too fierce; he would not stay on his feet for long whether by his own choice or by unconsciousness taking him. "Go back to your daughter."_

_"My daughter is with her mother," said the dwarf. "They are both safe and healthy, but hungry with the lack of food." Then they were one of the lucky families. One of the few that made it out of their mountain whole. "Our stores are running thin and what little food we have is being given to the sick and the injured. I feared my daughter would starve. Thank you."_

_"Do not thank me yet," said Bilbo. "For now we have only a hope that the elves will choose to aid us. Go and catch fish while we are still close enough to the lake to do so. If the elves do not help us, we will need all the stores we can get to pass by their lands."_

_"Do you believe the elves will not help us?" asked the dwarf._

_Bilbo did not answer for he could not tell the dwarf what he believe. Thranduil had recently been wronged by his King Thror and Bilbo feared that would color his judgement. He had only hope that the benevolence that he had experienced in Rivendell would be true in Greenwood as well._

* * *

But his hope had been wrong. King Thranduil would not aid them. Instead he took the bead and claimed it as payment for allowing them to travel safely beside his land. Many had died of starvation because of the selfishness of the kings. Bilbo had watched as the daughter of that dwarf had grown sick and lost her life, soon to be followed by her mother. He had even watched as the dwarf, so stricken with grief, had thrown himself upon his sword to be with them. He would never forgive King Thranduil for that suffering.

Legolas finally allowed him to stand on his own two feet and Bilbo turned on him with a glare. "Why have you captured us?" he demanded. "We were not on your lands yet. You had no right to detain us."

"You were in the Greenwood," said Legolas, "and that is part of our land."

"It is called Mirkwood now," said Bilbo, knowing what insult that would be to the elves who loved things to be pure, "and you share it with the woodsmen. We had not yet crossed into your lands. Unless you wish to claim that sickened forest as your own and admit that the magic of elves is useless against it. For once the dwarves gaped at him in silence, not one of them knowing what to say. Perhaps they didn't realize that Bilbo was quite fierce in his insults when he wanted to be. Even the elves seemed at a loss for words. "Or that you are incapable of defending your lands from giant spiders. Those webs seemed to great to have only just arrived. The spiders have been there for some time and you have been unable to do anything. So instead you find a company of dwarves who have been traveling for days with little to drink or eat and who have been weakened by the poison of spiders and prey upon them."

"Those spiders are nothing to us," Legolas scowled. "And the dwarves were trespassing. Be glad that we did not kill you all when we had the chance. Instead we captured you to be judged by our king."

"You have killed enough dwarves as it is," Bilbo said, though he did not elaborate. Perhaps Legolas would understand or perhaps he may have denied the accusation if not for Bilbo's next words. "Bringing us to your selfish king is no mercy. The king of Mirkwood has no love of dwarves and his sentences are cruel against them. What torture will he inflict upon us this time? Will he lock us away in cells to waste our lives away or will he have his guards beat us to death one by one. Or perhaps he will condemn us to starvation. It seems he has no qualms against that."

"Your words are untrue," Legolas said, though it was clear that even he could not fully mean them. He had, after all, been forced to watch many of the dwarves die after his father's command because he could not leave his post on the forest's edge while dwarves still remained.

"Then let me speak with him," Bilbo said. "We will see who speaks the truth."

Legolas looked to Thorin, who looked entirely confused by their whole interaction. He had clearly originally intended to take the leader of their company to face his father, but Bilbo's insults could not be ignored and he wanted to prove to this kindly creature of the West that his father was not as cruel as he was apparently told by the savage dwarves.


	43. Meeting King Thranduil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo is going to give Thranduil a piece of his mind and not even his manners is going to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning to everybody, there is a lot of Thranduil bashing in this chapter, so if you are a big fan of his, I completely apologize.

"And what would a Hobbit be doing traveling with 13 dwarves?" asked Thranduil as he sat upon his thrown after some long speech of lies that Bilbo had honestly been too angry to listen to.

"And what would a King willing to allow a whole race to starve care about such small things?" Bilbo replied and watched as Thranduil's eyes narrowed and he leaned forward in his chair. While his anger had burned hot with Legolas who honestly did not even deserve it, now it felt as cold as ice. It simmered below what respect a visiting noble should have when meeting the king, but it would not be contained.

"You speak of things that you do not understand," he said.

"Tell me," replied Bilbo. "Do you still have the bead? Do you keep it by your bedside as a reminder of your accomplishment of abandoning an entire race? You, who lack all honor. You sit up there and stare down upon the people as though they are below you, but it is truly you that are the lowest." Thranduil thrust himself from his chair and descended the stairs quickly, but Bilbo would not be turned away. "Thranduil, the great king of Mirkwood who will abandon everyone to starvation."

"It is your king who caused all this," Thranduil hissed, thrusting his face into Bilbo's personal space. It must have been uncomfortable for him to bend so low to do so, which only made Bilbo smirk in satisfaction. "It is his greed that brought the dragon down upon you. Not mine."

"And yet it is your selfishness that caused the death of so many. We came to you asking no more than food, but you refused and so my people died. You will have their deaths upon your head for the entirety of your immortal life and you will forever be known as the selfish king who would not aid those in need. The only king of the elves who would turn their back for the sake of some pretty gems. You sound more like a dwarf to me." And though that may not have been a bad thing in Bilbo's book, he was well aware that it was a horrible insult to King Thranduil. "King Thranduil, the betrayer. King Thranduil, the abandoner. King Thranduil, the coward. All of these suit you better now than any other you may have possessed."

"Do not speak to me as though you know everything," Thranduil said. "I know the wrath and ruin of dragon fire." Suddenly, one side of his face began to melt away and it reminded Bilbo of himself when he was a dwarf, though it was perhaps somewhat worse in the face for this elf. Bilbo was sure that if he did get burns as bad as those, he would not have survived, but such was the medicine and magic of elves. "I have faced the serpents of the North. I warned your king of what his greed would summon, but he wouldn't listen." And just as suddenly his face returned to perfection and he turned back to his stairs.

"You think your injuries mean anything to me," said Bilbo. "I have felt dragon fire upon my skin. I have felt as it melted away my flesh and I feared for the child that I held in my arms. For unlike you, selfish king of the elves, I was protecting my nephew from the slug as he breached the gates. I lived with the burns visible until the day I died. You hide them, ashamed as you are that you were unable to slay the beast that you foolishly sought when your father still lived. I know the story of how you got those scars and it is not a noble one. You brought many of your people and only you returned, though the dragon still lived to be slain by another. Tell me how that is possible, King Thranduil, the coward. King Thranduil, the bringer of death. Did you abandon them as you did my people when you faced the dragon and found that your courage was nonexistent?"

King Thranduil froze before his throne, staring at Bilbo with wide eyes. The story of his facing a dragon was not a well known one. In fact, Bilbo had only come across it by accident in his travels before meeting his soulmate for the first time.

* * *

_Bilbo always loved books. So much so that he had gone through all that he was allowed in Erebor's libraries and started taking any chance that he could get to travel and find new books that Erebor had never seen. He took the chance to guard jewelers as they headed north to trade with a town of men that rose near the ruins of a dragon's coming. He had been young at the time and inexperienced so the other guards had chosen to send him off to his own explorations once they reached the relative safety of the town._

_He spent the first day exploring the marketplace, but there was nothing truly interesting to him there so on the next he headed to the ruins. It was not a long walk, but the difference in the land seemed as though he had walked miles away from the peaceful village. The land around him was barren and blackened with ash. Nothing remained of green things or animal life. And in the center of it all stood remnants of rock that once contained families. It was so quiet that it appeared the dragon remained in the mountain a little farther beyond._

_For a moment, Bilbo wondered if he should turn back, but his curiosity outweighed what little of his instinct wondered about the dragon and continued. The dragon had not been seen for some time, after all, and everyone assumed it to be dead after the elven company waged war against it many years ago. He trudged on into the city in the hopes of finding something that survived the attack. It would not be books, he knew, but perhaps there would be carvings that he could record in the little notebook he carried around._

_The city was just as barren as the land around it. The dragon's fire so hot that not even bone remained of any who may have been trapped in the city. The walls were scorched and Bilbo doubted he would find anything of use in them._

_He was about to turn back when he came upon something he was not expecting. It was an elf laying propped against one of the walls. He looked pristine and had it not been for the missing leg and the large dried blood staining the ground beneath him, Bilbo would have thought him just sleeping. Still, he went to check just in case, hoping beyond hope that there would be a chance for him to save this wounded elf, but he found no pulse. The elf had been dead for many years._

_In the elf's hands were a large book and a pen. He had at least survived the dragon attack, then, but not much longer. Bilbo took the book, careful not to allow the old parchment to crumble from its bindings and opened it to the back. The last entry was shaky and unlike anything Bilbo had ever seen written by an elf. He must have been in great pain then, Bilbo realized, at the end of his life and Bilbo bowed his head in silence for the elf before reading his last words._

_The dragon is dead. We have smote his ruin within the mountain, but few remained. We are too injured to travel home. Only I was strong enough to make it out of the mountain in search of aid for my people, but none remain in the city to help us.  
We can only hope Prince Thranduil has returned to safety and will return with the aid he promised us._

_There was more words that Bilbo could not read as the elf's hand had grown too weak at the end to make the words legible, but Bilbo looked on to the mountain and wondered if the elf's prince had returned or if there still remained bodies of elves abandoned within the mountain. Yet, by the look of this body, he doubted any help came to them._

* * *

Bilbo was never sure if it had been Thranduil who denied coming back with aid or his father that had denied giving it, but he had always felt a sort of loathing towards the one that would abandon his own people after that day. "Had you not been a prince or a king, you would have been a deserter. And yet you are that. King Thranduil, the deserter."

"Silence!" yelled Thranduil. His eyes wide and wild with the memories of that time. "You know nothing of this matter."

"You abandoned your own people to face a dragon and did not come back with aid when it was dead. You left them to suffer in agony until death took them, wondering when their prince would return to save them. What more is there to know?"

"Seize him!" Thranduil said, clearly struggling to regain his composure. "Take him to be with his people. I have no desire to speak with him."

"I am Prince Haran, son of Vorin, and husband of Thorin, King Under the Mountain!" Bilbo yelled, and Thranduil's eyes widened. He had obviously suspected Bilbo to be a reborn dwarf, but apparently not that specific one. "And I am Bilbo Baggins of the Shire that resides in the Kindly West! I will not be held prisoner by the cowardice of elf kings!" And with that he thrust his hand into his pocket where the ring slipped on his finger and he disappeared from the eyes of the elves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick explanation. So I imagine that a body that does not age and is immortal would also not decay after death, which is why I made that elf seem like he had only just died after so many years had passed.


	44. A King's Aid Not Given

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas is furious when he finds out that his father refused aid to the mortals.

Bilbo had only just disappeared when he was surrounded by elven guards. For a moment, he wondered if the ring had betrayed him and the elves could still see him, but the elves made no move towards him despite Thranduil's insistent demands that he be captured. It was as though they were waiting for someone else to come and get him and Bilbo realized that they were doing just that. They stood close together, leaving little gaps for anyone to break away. But Bilbo was not just anyone and as a hobbit he was very small. He slipped between the elves' wide spread legs and was free of them.

Thranduil descended the stairs to his throne in an utter rage and Bilbo waited just long enough for him to clear them before he scrambled up them. He was too short to run away from the long legs of the elves and the only place he could think that the elves wouldn't dare to look for him was on their king's throne. He sat upon it, feeling completely wrong looking down at the people who weren't even his, and watched as the elven guards finally moved forward only to find him gone. Thranduil's anger grew even louder as he sent all the guards chasing after Bilbo and running away from him.

Only the king, the prince, and Bilbo upon the throne remained within hearing distance and suddenly Bilbo felt very stupid and utterly useless. This had been his chance to actually speak to the elven king and try to convince him to allow his friends freedom. He knew very well that the king would never listen to dwarves and Thorin would never lower himself to bargaining for the freedom that was unfairly taken. It had been his only chance and he had ruined it with his anger. Now he would have to find some other way to free the company while the elves were searching their entire kingdom for him.

"Father," Legolas muttered.

"What?!" Thranduil hissed before drawing himself back up to his full height and forcing his ugly sneer into uninterested normalcy.

"Is what the hobbit said true?" Legolas said, standing straight though his eyes were averted from his father.

"You cannot listen to the words of people like that," Thranduil said. "They lie for their own gain. Especially the dwarves. If left unchecked, their greed will lead to the death of Middle Earth."

"What did he gain from that?" asked Legolas.

"Sometimes we cannot understand the motives of mere mortals," Thranduil said, looking to the side as though just the mere talk of mortals was beneath him. "It is best to ignore them until they die."

"My Soul Mate was a mortal," Legolas scowled, only now looking directly at the king with his shoulders tense. "He died during the dragon attack and you told me that you did all you could for him. Did you even try?"

This honestly surprised Bilbo. He had known that Legolas was a relatively young elf and had assumed that he had not yet met his Soul Mate. There were rumors that some of the humans in both Dale and Lake Town sometimes found their other in the elves of what was once Greenwood. Still, Thranduil, who was often known for his disdain for the short life of mortals, would not have been happy to know that his own son was destined to be with a man.

"Your Soul Mate will be reborn," Thranduil said with an imperious wave of his hand. "Hopefully this time as an elf. There is no need to concern yourself with that subject."

Legolas took a step forward, but he did not raise a hand in anger against his father. Instead he got in the face of the king and accused him of the worst of crimes: abandonment. "You didn't, did you?" he hissed. "You just left them there to die. I felt Girion die! Did you know that he was injured badly? I suffered with him for many hours before he finally died! We could have saved him."

Bilbo had to hold back a gasp at that. He hadn't known Girion, the Lord of Dale, very well as they had only met in meetings, but he did know that the human was married with children. Of course, it was common practice among humans, who had the shortest lifespan of all those on Middle Earth, that they marry if they did not find their Soul Mate by a certain age if only to carry on their bloodline and Girion had been forced by his father to marry early even though he did not love the woman that he was betrothed to. There had been some rumor that Girion had found a Soul Mate mere months before the Dragon's attack when he left his wife's house, which was also a common practice when the men found their Soul Mates late in life, or that she had found a Soul Mate of her own. Those rumors had only been confirmed when the dwarves passed the few men and women who survived Dale and traveled now to Lake Town.

* * *

_The mountain still loomed behind them as they reached Dale, barely desirous to slow down. Bilbo's skin burned because no one would waste their medicine on someone they said would obviously die. Fili was a heavy unconscious weight in the uninjured arm and Bilbo worried for the boy who still had yet to wake. Still, he could not slow down to check on the boy. They were still too close to the mountain and danger still loomed near enough that they could not stop._

_The ruins of Dale was than anything Bilbo had ever seen. The dragon had spared their kingdom of the worst of damage if only because he would be living there. He had no use for the towns of men and they were too near to the mountain he wished to claim. Bilbo honestly couldn't imagine anyone surviving that and he looked away from the destruction, knowing that his own people had brought this to the humans who never deserved such a thing._

_Except, as they got farther, Bilbo began to notice humans walking with them. Whoever led the group, if not Thorin, had probably offered to allow them to travel together with the dwarves for a short time if only because there was safety in numbers. There were more than Bilbo had thought possible after seeing the destruction of Dale, but it was still very few._

_The humans were moving slowly, their injuries weighing them down as they never would for a dwarf, and they lagged until finally they were starting to gather at the back of their group where Bilbo still walked. Some of the men were carried on the backs of others and some were so badly injured that whatever supplies the humans were able to save was abandoned for the sake of makeshift stretchers._

_Among them Bilbo saw the children of Girion standing on each side of a stretcher and Bilbo wondered if it was Girion or his wife, but he could not quicken his pace to go see so it wasn't until they finally came to a halt that Bilbo was able to make it to where Girion lay. The man's wounds were worse than even Bilbo's and he wondered how he was still breathing._

_"I am not long for this world," said Girion to his children as Bilbo watched from afar, not willing to interrupt this thing between that family. He wasn't even sure if he should stay at all, but he felt almost duty bound as a prince of Erebor that maybe he should speak to the man. "If the elves come and He should look for me, please tell him that I am sorry." Though he did not sound like he believed the elves would come._

_"We will father," said the eldest of the two who was already an adult. The younger, who was not younger by much, nodded as well with tears in his eyes. They were old enough that they would understand the concept of Soul Mates and Girion had probably told them of his own. "You just rest."_

_Bilbo turned away then. This was not his conversation and he would not interrupt the last moments these children would have with their father. Especially when their mother was nowhere in sight and was probably dead._

* * *

Girton had not lasted through the night, but he had suffered long to make it to that point. Bilbo was sure that the only thing that kept him alive for as long as it did was the magic of elves. Even if he was not one, he probably received at least some benefit for being the Soul Mate of one.

"Do not speak to me of loss," Thranduil said, losing his composure once more. "I have lost your mother more than once."

"And whose fault was that?" Legolas asked, lifting his chin in his anger. He would not let his father have the high ground in this fight.

A resounding slap and Legolas stepped back. Thranduil had actually struck his own son and he did not look apologetic in any way. "Leave me," he growled. "Now."

Legolas said nothing more. He just turned and left, his shoulders slumped and his head low as Bilbo had never seen an elf's do.

"Bring Thorin to me!" Thranduil yelled, his voice echoing through the hall is he drew once more into his composed uncaring state. "I would speak to him." He turned and Bilbo frowned at the smirk he saw there. He had been so stupid to reveal himself to the elven king and now he had no doubt that Thranduil would use it against Thorin in some way. How could he have been so stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I would like to clear up the whole humans and marriage thing because I didn't do a good job of explaining it in the story. In this world humans will marry if they don't meet their Soul Mate before they grow too old for the sake of children to carry on their bloodline (especially important families such as kings and lords and the like), but it is only a marriage of convenience, not love. It is also agreed upon that when one or both find their Soul Mate, they will separate into different houses and share whatever children they had in the marriage.
> 
> PS. Sorry if Legolas is out of character, but he is still young and has time to grow into the Legolas that we all know and love from the Lord of the Rings.


	45. The Painful Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo watches silently as the king's meet. Will Thranduil give away his secret or will Thorin continue to remain oblivious.

Bilbo honestly considered running away. He probably should have. There were no guards and Thranduil was too distracted pacing in his anger to even notice Bilbo slip past. But he just couldn’t. He had to know what Thranduil would say to his One. Would he tell Thorin right out who he was, or would he keep it a secret and lord it over his soul mate? Bilbo honestly didn’t know which he thought would be better. It might be nice to have his secret finally out in the open, but for it to be told by someone like this selfish elf king was not how he wanted it to happen.

So he stayed upon the throne and watched as the elves escorted Thorin to meet the king of the elves of Mirkwood.

Thorin, surprisingly, did not fight as he came upon them. Bilbo had expected to see the elves dragging Thorin by the arms as he tried to escape, but instead he came with his head held high and proud. Thranduil frowned and Bilbo couldn’t help the silent snigger he let out. The elf king was surely expecting Thorin to be more put out than he was acting and the fact that the dwarf was so calm when the elf was not put Thorin on higher ground then him. As if to make them even, Thranduil turned and headed up the stairs as calmly as he could and Bilbo scrambled out of his seat so the elf wouldn’t sit on him. He just barely managed to dodge being stepped on before he rushed down the stairs to stand as near to his Soulmate as he could get without alerting anyone to his presence.

Thorin glanced around him seemingly uncaring before turning to look back at the elf king who was trying to look as though he was lounging in his throne. “Where is Bilbo?” the dwarf demanded even as Thranduil opened his mouth to begin speaking. “What have you done with our hobbit?”

Thranduil’s mouth snapped shut and he glared at Thorin as the King Under the Mountain spoke, but then a smirk graced his lips as he leaned forward. “Your hobbit?” he asked with a raised brow. “Then you do not know who he truly is.” Bilbo squeezed his eyes shut. He should have known that Thranduil would not let this chance to lord himself over Thorin pass him. Nor his chance to betray a secret Bilbo was obviously keeping from the dwarf. Anything to be the petty elf that he was.

Thorin did not let himself be baited, though. “I demand to know where you have taken him,” he said.

“And why should I tell you?” Thranduil asked, waving a dismissive hand at Thorin as though he cared not for any of this. “You who were trespassing on my lands. Tell me Thorin Oakenshield what a group of fourteen dwarves is doing traveling through these woods and perhaps I will tell you what you want to know.” Bilbo ground his teeth as Thorin’s eyes narrowed. Clearly the elf was not going to come right out and say who Bilbo was, but he was going to hint at it if only to play with Thorin’s mind. Bilbo really hated this elf. “You have my word.”

“Your word means nothing,” Thorin said, still not rising to the bait. Bilbo had to say that he was very proud of his Soulmate in that moment. He had never thought that Thorin would so easily keep his calm in the face of someone that he despised so much. He did not have this much calm when he faced Azog again. But then again Thorin was a little more invested in his hatred of the orc. “Who would trust one who has broken his word in the past. If I give you what you desire, you will still keep him from me. Tell me where the hobbit is.”

Thranduil scowled, his patience already worn thin from his meeting with Bilbo and his talk with his son and the dwarf was not at all aiding it. Perhaps I should tell you something interesting that will change your mind,” he said.

“Whatever you say will not sway me,” Thorin said.

“Truly?” Thranduil raised a brow, but it was clear that he was just barely holding onto his composure. “Not even if I told you that your beloved Hobbit is actually your Soulmate, Haran son of Vorin, and he’s hiding it from you?”

Bilbo jerked as the truth finally came out and he stared wide eyed at Thorin. What would happen now? Would Thorin be angry at him for keeping it a secret? Would he think that Bilbo didn’t want him anymore? Would he feel betrayed? Would he turn away from Bilbo then and there? Would he reject the one who had taken his Haran’s place when he clearly wasn’t the same person?

Thorin’s eyes darkend and his lips thinned and Bilbo had to throw his hands in front of his mouth so he wouldn’t cry out as tears came to his eyes. He knew that look.

* * *

 

_Bilbo sat upon the gates of Erebor as he read one of his favorite books from his library. He was not on watch, but he had taken to stationing himself there whenever his One was off on some task or another that he was not allowed to join in on. This time his husband was off on a hunting trip with Frerin and Dwalin and a couple of other guards. It was the little brother’s birthday week and he had requested that he and his brother go on a hunting trip as a birthday present. Thorin had asked if Bilbo wanted to go too, but Bilbo had the feeling that one of the reasons that Frerin was asking this was because he didn’t see Thorin as much now that he spent almost all his free time with Bilbo. He didn’t think that Frerin would be very happy if Bilbo did join them. He had simply given Thorin a kiss and sent him on his way before sitting atop the gate and waiting for him to return._

_“The hunters return,” said one of the dwarf guards who stood nearest to Bilbo. They had long since grown used to Bilbo’s presence and would sometimes speak to him if he wanted to start a conversation, but usually they just left him to himself unless announcing Thorin’s return._

_Bilbo glanced up from his book at the group that was appearing beyond the horizon. “Something’s wrong,” he frowned, placing the book beside him on the bench that he sat on. The group was moving too fast to be returning from a leisurely and exhausting hunt. Bilbo had one of the best eyes of all the dwarves and though he could only see shapes, he could make out several shapes too big to be a single dwarf. Shapes that could only be created by one carrying another. “Go and call the healers,” he demanded of the guard who rushed away. Any other dwarf guard who stood close enough to hear him readied bows and arrows and others followed suit until all of them stood ready to shoot any who would be chasing their princes._

_Bilbo paid none of this any mind as he ran down to the front of the gate, demanding that it be opened immediately. The dwarf guards here also suddenly stood at the ready and watched cautiously for anyone chasing their people. Bilbo took up a pack of healing medicines and ran to meet his One. He was not a healer, but all dwarves had some amount of knowledge in the healing arts. He could at least try to help while they waited for the healers to join them. He did not have to wait, however, as he found himself surrounded by both guards and healers carrying as many stretchers as they could get their hands on to take the injure inside._

_Thorin was at the front of the pack looking wild and determined to make it back to the mountain and Bilbo had to physically restrain him for him to even notice that his One was there. “Breathe Thorin,” he said. “Breathe. What has happened? Tell me what has happened.”_

_“Orcs,” Thorin growled. “Frerin’s hurt. I have to get him back to the mountain.” Bilbo looked past him to find Dwalin carrying a very pale Frerin on his back. The guards face was dark and solemn and Bilbo knew what that meant. Frerin did not need any healers. Not anymore. “I need to get him to the healers.”_

_“I have brought healers,” Bilbo said. He couldn’t tell Thorin that his brother was lost. He had to calm him down first. There were still others who needed looking after “Look at me, Thorin,” he said. “Look at me. You’ve brought him back. You brought him back.”_

_Yet none of the healers went to Frerin’s side. Bilbo didn’t blame them. There was obviously nothing that they could do for him now and they had to concentrate on the injured that they could save. Still, Bilbo looked beseechingly at Oin, who lead the group. Oin answered only with a nod before directing Dwalin to place the young prince on one of the stretchers and with another guard rush him inside while Bilbo distracted his husband._

_“They ambushed us,” Thorin said. “We weren’t expecting them. We didn’t even know they were there. We went to our usual hunting spot. We’ve never had problems before. It was safe. It was supposed to be safe.”_

_“I know Thorin,” Bilbo said, “but you’ve brought him back. You’ve brought everyone back. Come inside.”_

_“Is he going to be okay?” Thorin asked, his eyes dark and lips thinned even as he calmed from his crazed mentality. “Tell me he’s going to be okay.” He dropped his head into Bilbo’s shoulder even as everyone rushed around them to treat the injured._

_“I don’t know,” Bilbo lied. It didn’t matter anyway. Thorin already knew the truth, but he was just denying it because the truth was too hard to bare. To have lost a younger brother when you had tasked yourself with his care. It was just too much. “I don’t know.”_

* * *

 

Thorin had already suspected him, but he was refusing to believe it because the truth was too painful. If Bilbo truly was his Soulmate reborn, then he would be sending him once more to face that dragon that had been the cause of much suffering in their past. Back to the one that had nearly killed him in the past life. Thorin knew who he was subconsciously, but didn’t want to believe it because of the pain it would cause them both. He couldn’t believe it because Bilbo had to go to face the dragon no matter what.

But there was something else in his eyes that Bilbo had never seen on him before. A glint that he recognized from another. A desire so maddening that it made a person blind. Something that Bilbo had only ever caught in the eyes of Thorin’s grandfather.

Bilbo ran away, not even looking as he rushed passed the guards. It must have been luck that they didn’t notice him. He heard behind him as Thorin accused the elf king of lying and he could no longer hold back the hiccupping gasp. He needed to find somewhere to hide. Somewhere where he could think. Somewhere where he would not see that horrible light in Thorin’s eyes that he knew to be one of the first symptoms of Gold Sickness.


	46. Return of things Taken

Bilbo honestly has no idea how he ended up in this large room of many things. He had been running down the hall that they had taken his kin when a he saw a door being conveniently closed with just enough time for him to slip inside. Now he was locked in the darkness, clutching Sting, which he had taken from one of the tables, and sobbing loudly. He hoped this room was sound proof because he was absolutely sure that he was being too loud and couldn't muffle himself.

Thorin,  _his_ Thorin, who had promised that he would never fall to the gold sickness had a madness in his eyes that could only be just that and Bilbo had no idea how to fix it. Or if it was even possible to fix it. He may just lose his One before he even reconnected with him. And possibly not even to death. What would he do if they got back their mountain and Thorin fell to madness? Could he stay with whatever his husband became? He loved his One more than anything in the world, but he had seen what madness did to a dwarf and he knew that Thorin would not remain the same. He would be someone different. Someone that Bilbo was sure that he could not love. If that happened he'd almost rather fall to Sickness and Sleep.

"Who goes there!" someone said as the door burst open, breaking Bilbo from his thoughts. He didn't have time for them anyway. He had to save his friends now and he couldn't get caught being a crybaby in the dark. He threw a hand over his mouth, still not quite able to stifle the cries and clutched Sting in his other hand. "I know you're there." Legolas stepped slowly around the door clutching both his knives. Because of course it had to be the king's son that would hear him first.

Legolas kicked the door closed and they were bathed in darkness, but Bilbo wouldn't doubt if the elves had much better night vision than he. Surely not as good as the dwarves, of course, but he was not a dwarf anymore and he couldn't see much more than Legolas's stance, which was surprisingly relaxed.

"Is it the hobbit?" the elf prince asked. "I won't turn you in."

Bilbo wanted to believe him for the sole purpose that it would work best for him to have the prince in his corner, but he had already learned not to trust the elves of Mirkwood.

"My father abandoned my Soulmate to die when Smaug came," Legolas continued. "I didn't know until you pointed it out, but I do now. I don't think I'll ever forgive him for it." He hesitated for a moment, but when Bilbo still said nothing. "He also Rejected my mother," he said. "She was originally an elf, but she died in battle. When she came back she was a human woman and father Rejected her for being mortal. She always said that he didn't do it on purpose, that it was her mortality that he was Rejecting. She died while he was away to a meeting and now she won't return."

"Why?" Bilbo asked. He knew he shouldn't have spoken at all, but Legolas was pouring his all out and it seemed unfair to ignore him now.

"When someone dies Rejected the bond between the Soul is permanently broken. They cannot return to each other ever again. Not even in the afterlife. Some say that the bond is recreated with someone else, and I hope my mother is happy now, but father was distraught when he returned to find her dead. I had never before seen him so grief stricken. He claimed that he never meant to Reject her and begged the gods to return her, but she will never come back. We almost feared that he too might die from the loss of her. My father is not so emotionless as you think."

"I think nothing of him," said Bilbo. "Except that now he has twice abandoned my people and holds us hostage. And all this because we did not return some jewels that we worked hard to set and he refused to pay for."

"They were my mother's favorite," Legolas said.

"Oh," Bilbo replied. It didn't make any of this any better, but at least now Bilbo understood a little of why the elf king hated his people so much. He didn't know the feeling himself, but he was sure that if someone had taken something that belonged to Thorin even while the other was still alive he would have stopped at nothing to get it back. In fact, he had already done so.

* * *

_"Thorin?" Bilbo asked, catching his husband at the door of the house they shared with Dis using his one good arm. "What happened to you?" Thorin was looking worse for wear, as though he had been beaten. Normally Bilbo was sure that he never would have allowed it, but in his arms, Bilbo could see an unconscious Fili. It was only a good thing that Dis and her youngest were already asleep for the night. Kili would not be happy to see that._

_"Men," Thorin growled._

_"What happened?" Bilbo asked again, directing Thorin to their room to lay Fili in the bed so they wouldn't wake Kili. The youngest always was a light sleeper when his brother was away._

_"He was only out of my sight for a few minutes," Thorin said. "They said he wronged him. That's why they beat him. They said that we owed them money. I couldn't fight back. Not with Fili injured."_

_"What did they take from you?" Bilbo asked._

_"The gold that I had earned."_

_"And the beads from your head," Bilbo said with a scowl. Those had been from Thorin's mother and it was the only thing that they had refused to sell when settling in this mountain. Thorin only nodded. "But you brought Fili back," Bilbo said, "and that's worth more than all the gold in Erebor." Thorin nodded. "Why don't you sleep? You look exhausted." His husband usually was exhausted when he returned from the village of man, but now was even worse._

_"I have to look after Fili," Thorin said._

_"You have already done a fine job," Bilbo said, stroking Thorin's hair even as he pushed him onto the bed beside their nephew. "I will make sure he is looked after. I will wake his mother and then I will go to Oin. You just need to rest."_

_Thorin nodded, cradling Fili gently in his arms before he finally let his eyes slipped closed._

_Bilbo was honestly surprised to see Kili staring at him wide-eyed from the doorway, but he shouldn't have been. Kili would have heard Thorin's voice and known that his brother had returned. "Very well," Bilbo said, pitching his voice low to not disturb the sleeping, "but you must be careful as they are both injured." Kili nodded, knowing well enough not to say anything as he still hadn't truly learned volume control, and Bilbo lifted him into their bed._

* * *

_After waking Dis and sending Oin to his house, Bilbo made one more stop at the house of Ri. Unsurprisingly it was Nori who opened the door, the other two probably sleeping. "My prince," Nori said, stepping aside to allow Bilbo inside. It wouldn't do for the husband of the prince to be seen consorting with a thief._

_"Nori," Bilbo nodded at him. "I have a task that I would ask of you if you have the time to come with me down to the towns of men."_

_"And what would that be?" Nori asked, though his smirk definitely showed he was not averse to whatever would send Bilbo to him first._

_"Some of the men thought it their right to steal from my husband," Bilbo said. "I would teach them differently." No one hurt his family and got away with it._

_"And get back whatever they took?" Nori asked and Bilbo nodded. "And how would I factor into this. I'm not much of a fighter if you recall." Which Bilbo knew was completely untrue, but would allow it for now. He may be a thief now, but he was once Thorin's spy master and that required some fighting skill. Nori wanted to know what he was being hired for and Bilbo was not adverse to telling him._

_"I plan to bring Dwalin along for that purpose anyway," Bilbo said, "but I don't know who these men are and have nothing to go on except that they feel that they are entitled to beat the young and take the beads from a dwarf's head."_

_Nori's eyes darkened. "I seem to recall that Prince Thorin brought Prince Fili with him to the town this last time."_

_"Indeed," Bilbo agreed. "I would like you to head there ahead of Dwalin and I and find these people. If you should see fit to start their lesson without me, then so be it, but just remember that I want them to remember this lesson."_

_"Oh they'll remember it for the rest of their lives," Nori grinned wickedly._

_"Which will be long past this night," Bilbo said, giving Nori a stern look. "Of course, my prince," Nori said with a bow. "I will have them discovered before you two arrive."_

* * *

_Dwalin was much easier to convince of the task at hand and he and Bilbo hastened down to the town of men. They would not return until at least the next evening, they knew, but Bilbo had already told Dis of his disappearance and had forced Dwalin to leave a short note for his brother._

_When they got down to the town, Nori had indeed found the men that had attacked the royal family and was already teaching them their lesson in the room of the tavern they happened to be staying in. Bilbo leaned against the wall and allowed Dwalin to serge forward with his knuckle dusters on. He did not look at the carnage and was glad that Nori had thought to gag the men. He may have asked for this punishment, but that did not mean that he enjoyed the suffering of others. Especially if they weren't truly wicked. He only ordered what he felt the others deserved, and if Nori and Dwalin took it a little past that then he was ashamed to say that he would not stop them._

_"We caught them just in time," Nori said, sidling up next to him. "They had planned to sell the beads tomorrow at the market and left for the next town. If we had waited until the morning they would have been long gone."_

_Nori put the beads in his hand and he held them reverently. "Thank you, Nori," he said._

_"Not a thanks necessary," Nori said. "I'll just take a few gold coins out of that large purse of theirs. Gotta feed the family and all that. And I'll make sure Dwalin ends up with some of it too so you don't go getting your panties all twisted. Then the rest will go back to you."_

_"Of course," Bilbo agreed. He had planned on paying them back with the money that Thorin had earned anyway, but it seemed that the men had enough money to pay the two and return all that was taken from his husband._

_"Good," Nori nodded. "Now that all the money stuff's out of the way, why don't you go wait outside. We won't be but a couple hours longer. You might even go downstairs and have a spot of breakfast."_

* * *

Well, now that he thought about it, that kind of was what he was doing with the mountain too.

Bilbo took his ring from his finger and stood, sheathing the sword. There was no reason for Legolas to tell him all this only to take him to his father where he could use it against him. He would believe the dwarf prince for now, but he kept his hand in his pocket, stroking the ring. Just in case. Legolas immediately turned to face him, sheathing his own blades. "What do you want now?" Bilbo asked, because even though Legolas had promised not to turn him in, the prince was still in control of this meeting since he was between Bilbo and the door.

"Why did my father detain you?" Legolas asked.

"Weren't you the one who originally captured us?" Bilbo asked, raising a brow though he wasn't actually sure if Legolas could see him.

"I was, but we have done that many times to the woodsmen and father usually just gives them food and sends them on his way. Why is he keeping you?"

"You've already given a reason as to why you think that he doesn't like us," Bilbo pointed out. He could trust Legolas for now, but there was no knowing when the young elf might betray him. Who was to say that he wasn't just trying to gain his trust now so he would tell him their true purpose and he could tell his king. Bilbo doubted that this particular elf would be so conniving as to use his own mother in such a way, but one never knew.

"I have," Legolas said, "and you aren't going to tell me the real reason are you?"

"What makes you think there's another reason?" Bilbo asked.

"I may not like my father right now," Legolas said, "but I do know that he is a fair king. I have never seen him detain someone in his dungeons without cause."

"Have you seen him detain many people?" Bilbo asked.

"No," Legolas said. "He hasn't had much cause to."

"He does not have much cause to hold us here either. I can tell you that much."

"I agree," Legolas said. "I don't know what it is about your group that has him acting this way, but I don't agree with it."

"Then why don't you say so?" Bilbo asked. "You are his son. Perhaps you could talk some sense into him."

"I am also the prince," Legolas said. "If I am seen going against the king…"

"I see," Bilbo said. Because he did. Neither Thorin nor Thrain had gone against Thror when he first went mad sighting the same reasons. To undermine the king in such a way was practically declaring civil war amongst the people. They would take sides, fights would break out, and plots formed for the change of the crown to the prince or otherwise. Especially now that Bilbo had revealed some of the dark deeds of the king's past.

"But I can help you escape if you wish," Legolas said.

"You would be willing to go against your father in such a way?" Bilbo asked.

"I believe that it is the right thing to do," Legolas replied. "Consider it payment for allowing us to have your precious bead all this time."

Bilbo reached up to touch his hair, finally dropping the ring to rest in his pocket. Before he could say anything, Legolas turned to the table and then back to him, holding his hand out. Bilbo reached out and felt a little weight dropping into his hand. He knew exactly what it was without even being able to see it and his hand immediately closed over the precious bead.

"My father hasn't been able to look at it since the moment you gave it to us. I don't think he'll notice it missing."

"Thank you," Bilbo whispered, clutching the bead close to his chest. "Thank you so much."


	47. What One does for the People

The very first thing Bilbo asked for was for Legolas to show him to his people. They could figure out the escape once he made absolutely certain that his dwarves were safe. Legolas had, of course, assured Bilbo that the elves would not hurt the dwarves, but Bilbo replied that he would not put it past Thranduil to do just that. Especially after the way Bilbo had made him so angry. Legolas had understood, though he still promised that Thranduil would not have hurt the dwarves. The king had to play by the rules if he was going to hurt them or risk upsetting his people who were generally a peaceful lot. He would have to find good cause to punish them.

"He's your king," Bilbo said as Legolas checked to make sure no one was around. "He can do what he wants without worrying about what his people think. He's already done that, so why should he change now." Legolas just shook his head and Bilbo understood that he should not say anymore on the subject. Legolas may not like his father very much right now, but that didn't mean he didn't love his father.

"Can you turn yourself invisible again?" Legolas asked.

"I can," Bilbo agreed.

"Then I will go and survey our prisoners. I will not be able to stay long, but you may stay as long as you don't get caught. Do you think you could make it back here after you are done? No one comes here and it might be a good place for us to plan."

"I should be able to," Bilbo agreed. "I do at least have a better sense of direction than my husband."

"I'm not sure if I should be comforted by that," Legolas said and though Bilbo knew that the elf was being completely serious since he didn't know about Thorin's horrible sense of direction, Bilbo couldn't help but snort.

"When should I be back by?" Bilbo asked, playing with his ring. As much as he liked the thing, it wasn't exactly a nice feeling to be wearing it and he found himself wanting to put it off for as long as possible.

"I will bring something for you to eat this evening," Legolas replied, "but I won't be able to bring much without it being suspicious."

"Don't worry," Bilbo said. "We hobbits are very small and we don't eat very much." Which was of course a complete lie. Hobbits ate seven good meals a day and could easily starve with the lack of such pleasantries. Bilbo was lucky enough to get just enough to keep him going thus far and he thought it might have something to do with Gandalf's interference. It wasn't like this was the first time he had had to live off the scraps of someone's table.

* * *

_Once they passed the Greenwood, hunting had been much easier, but still the dwarves weren't able to kill enough to sustain them all. Whatever game there was was either killed or scared off by the time the end of the group get their chance at it. The front of the group did their best to share whatever catch they got, but they were already on minimal rations and few were willing to give that up on this long trek._

_And then they came upon the cities of men and at least there was a chance at food. Even if they had to beg for it._

_"Where are you going?" Thorin asked, baby Kili held in one arm and Fili in the other. They were stopped for the night outside another town of men and many dwarves were grabbing their things to either go hunting or seeing if they could find work with the men in exchange for food._

_"I'm going to help," Bilbo said, though he wouldn't look at his husband. They still weren't getting enough food. He and Thorin had given up their rations on more than one occasion to feed the sick and less fortunate. They needed more and if that meant that Bilbo had to lower himself as to beg than he would not bring his husband down with him._

_"You don't have to," Thorin said, trying to stop him without jolting the boys in his arm. "You're injured."_

_"I'm well enough," Bilbo said, turning back to his husband with a smile. It pained him to make sure facial expressions with his still healing skin, but he knew it was the only thing that would put Thorin's mind at ease. "Don't worry, I won't do anything dangerous."_

_Thorin didn't look like he agreed with this at all, but seeing a prince going out to help them would raise the morale of the group and he couldn't go himself since he was set to take care of the boys that night. "Don't stay away too long."_

_Bilbo nodded, turning to give his husband a kiss on the stubble of his cheek. His husband had cut off his beard to show that he was grieving all those lost in the mountain and afterwards. Bilbo did the same, but it did not mean so much when he lost the hair to dragon fire anyway._

* * *

_The towns of men were huge. Of course, Bilbo already knew that, but they seemed even more daunting now with this task at hand. Bilbo went to the largest house first and knocked on the door. Someone dressed poorly stepped out and Bilbo figured it must be a servant of this great house. She cringed when she looked at him and Bilbo thought it might have been a mistake not to cover his face. He had thought about it originally, but people tended to pity the injured and distrust the cloaked. "Please," he said. "My people starve and the children grow weak. Do you have food that you can spare us?"_

_The servant frowned down at him. "My lord will not spare any of his food," she said._

_"Is there nothing you could spare for us?" Bilbo asked. This was all he could do for his people now. He could only plead with strangers to feed them. He no longer had anything to give in return._

_The servant looked behind her before turning back to him. "My lord is sitting down to eat now. He always has a great feast and then the leftovers go to the dogs and the pigs. Maybe I could get some to you if you wait by the stables."_

_"Thank you," he said, bowing his head and the door closed before he even raised it again. Then he turned and went to the next house._

* * *

_The shame of standing by the stables for the scraps usually fed to pigs made Bilbo's head heavy, but he stood proud in defiance of it. The offer of the first servant girl had been repeated by several others and Bilbo had already amassed a great amount of food. He only hoped that it would be enough supplement for what the others got to give rations to all who had gone without._

_"My prince," Nori said, appearing beside him with a large sack filled with food to add to Bilbo's haul._

_"Where did you get all that?" Bilbo asked._

_"I could ask you the same," Nori said._

_"But you already know the answer," Bilbo said. "You were following me, weren't you?"_

_Nori nodded and they fell to silence for a moment. Bilbo still waited for one last servant to come with their leftovers and Nori would not leave without him. "I stole it from some of those great houses you went to," Nori said._

_"You shouldn't have done that," Bilbo said, but it wasn't a true reprimand. Their people were in great need and the men of the great houses refused to give them anything even though they surely had lots of provisions._

_"I also took a little bit of bit of cash," Nori said. "You know payment for travel and all that."_

_"I don't think that's how that works," Bilbo said._

_"Really?" Nori asked. "It should be. There's some other gold things as well. We can sell it all at the next town and get ourselves some good stores."_

_"You will be known as a thief if you bring any of that stuff to our caravan," Bilbo said. "Your brother will not be happy."_

_"And yet no one will say a word about it," Nori said. "They know just as well as I do that this must be done."_

_"No one will ever trust you," Bilbo said. "Give the stuff to me. I will say that the men offered it to me."_

_"Ah ah," Nori said, wagging his finger. "You mistake me, my prince. I plan to take all of this back as my great haul. Including whatever you managed to procure. Gotta make a good starting name for myself."_

_Bilbo tried to protest, but Nori just shook his head. The people would know a thief was necessary and they would hate and love him for it, but they would only feel shame to know that one of their prince's had begged for them. To know that he had lowered himself for them because they could not provide for themselves. "Thank you, Nori," he said eventually. "You are a good dwarf."_

_"And I'll make a great thief!" Nori grinned._

* * *

"The coast is clear. Disappear now and I will take you to your friends," Legolas said.

"Take me to Nori first," Bilbo said. He should have asked for Thorin or even his nephews, but he couldn't bring himself to speak to his Soulmate right now and he wasn't sure that he could see the boys without making a scene from the relief of seeing them hale or the anger of seeing them hurt. At least if he saw someone else first he would be able to prepare himself for either circumstance. Besides, Nori was the most conniving of the whole group and he might already be thinking of a way to escape as he had done from several cells of men.

"Which one is Nori," Legolas asked. "It's not the one with the goblin mutant son is it?"

Bilbo chuckled. "And I suppose that your wishing to avoid Gloin is because you said that to his face?"

"He won't stop yelling curses at me," Legolas said. "In your language too. I don't even know what he's saying. Speaking of, would you give this back to him for me? I didn't actually mean to take it."

He held out a small rectangular shape on a chain and Bilbo snatched it from him. "Why would you take this?" he asked, opening the clasp and checking to make sure that the pictures of Gloin's family remained unharmed.

"I was checking to make sure that it had no weapons inside and before I could return it, the guards had already taken him away to his cell. Will you give it back?"

"Of course I will," Bilbo said, pulling the chain over his head so he wouldn't accidentally drop it. "But first I must speak with Nori. He is the one with the three points on his head."

"Ah," Legolas nodded. Nori was, after all, quite distinguishable.


	48. No Matter What

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a warning this chapter does go a little into how Haran's burns look. I don't think it's anything too graphic (no more graphic than anything in the actual movies), but I thought I should let you guys know just in case.

Bilbo Baggins was not a coward. He had a very good reason for not going to see Thorin and it had nothing to do with his worry over what his Intended would think of him. He was far too busy trying to plan an escape while keeping out of the eyes of the elves. He couldn't risk going anywhere near where Thorin was kept under constant watch. Legolas had offered to distract the guards, but Bilbo had been quick to deny him. Because he would need that distraction to be effective when he actually wanted to get Thorin out. Not because he didn't want to lose his excuse.

Haran would call him a coward.

But at least he had been able to come up with a plan of action. It had been all him too. Legolas had had no part in it. Well, at least not the initial planning. He had helped to work out all the kinks, though, and was now working towards their end goal.

It had been on their second day of captivity when Bilbo had been too hungry to sit still, but unwilling to ask for more food. He couldn't risk that, after all, because people would soon begin to grow suspicious of the elf prince and he would never even think about asking any of his dwarves when they were being fed so little. They would offer him some, but he told them that he was perfectly capable of getting his food from other sources, though he hadn't yet mentioned that his other source was actually an elf prince.

He had been bored and hungry and more than a little curious about his surroundings, so he had decided to go exploring and had promptly gotten himself very lost. So much so that he somehow found himself in the basement where empty unlidded barrels were being stacked. There weren't that many and Bilbo wondered what the purpose of it was until he had happened to overhear that they were to be sent down the river.

It was the perfect plan of escape, he decided, and scrambled his way back the way he came. It took him some time to find his way back, accidentally passing by Thranduil's chambers and overhearing the elf muttering to himself about someone named Lythil, but he did eventually find his way just in time to run into Legolas as the elf entered.

He had immediately told the elf about his plans and Legolas had agreed that it would be the best course of action. The elf prince had then immediately gone about plying the elves in the basement with some of the best wines and making them lose their sense with herbs undetectable by taste. They only had a week to get this all accomplished after all and they couldn't have anyone raising the alarm too soon.

And the night of the feast had finally arrived. They had to make their escape now or never.

This was all well and good, of course, Bilbo thought as he stood outside the door of Thorin's cell, and it's good to go over everything and make sure there's no mistakes, but now he knew he was just stalling. "Pull yourself together," he whispered. "This is your husband we're talking about. There's no need to be concerned. He'll accept you no matter what. He promised."

* * *

_Bilbo did not want to get up. They had finally found a human village that had work for them and had decided to stay there for a short time if only to give their people some respite from their travels. Of course their hadn't been room in the tavern for all of their company, but the Royal Family had been given rooms while the rest had set up camp. Bilbo was very well aware that Thorin would have insisted that he stay with his people if Bilbo hadn't been injured, but as it was he was actually the first to accept the offer of a nice bed to sleep in._

_And the bed was soft. Not so much as the ones that he had been used to in Erebor, but much finer than he was used to from these many weeks of sleeping on the ground. Even if the bed had been stiff, he never would have noticed since he was currently sleeping on Thorin's chest. He sighed. It was nice finally being able to pretend that there was nothing wrong. They were back in the mountain enjoying a nice lie in after completing some much needed work. He would have to get up soon and allow Thorin to go back to work, but for now he really just didn't want to move. He just wanted to pretend for a little longer. Pretend that everything was okay._

_But it wasn't and he was reminded of it suddenly when his burn twinged. It was time for him to reapply the salve and if he put it off for any longer the pain would become unbearable. He had made that mistake already in caring for others and would do it again in the future, but now he had no such excuse to make himself suffer. He sighed again as he slipped out from the hold of Thorin's arms._

_There was a wash basin at the foot of the bed that had a mirror attached to it, and Bilbo decided it would be best to use that to treat himself. Of course, it wasn't until he reached the mirror that he realized his mistake. There had been a reason that he was avoiding his reflection all this time._

_Bilbo was not a very vain dwarf. He knew that he was attractive, but he had never once thought better of himself because of it. Nor did he think that Thorin loved him only for his looks. But now, as he stared at his reflection for the first time since he was burned, he could not help but to think about what a horrible disfigured ugly creature he had become. Half his face was red and still blistering and it looked as though it was melting away from his skull. No bone was visible, thankfully, but he imagined that he could see the muscles fused together and stretched taught on that side of his face. It was an ugly sight. How could anyone bare to look at him now?_

_"You look beautiful," Thorin said, wrapping his arms around his husband._

_"You're a liar," Bilbo replied, closing his eyes. He wanted more than anything to be out of Thorin's sight, to not subject his husband to the look of such a freak as him, but the comfort of Thorin's arms made him relax back into the warm chest._

_"Never to you," Thorin replied. "You're beautiful."_

_"Then you're blind," Bilbo said because how could Thorin still think that of him?_

_"I love you," Thorin said and Bilbo couldn't think of any remark for that. Instead he turned in Thorin's arms and buried his face in Thorin's chest. He had to hold himself carefully, make sure that his burns never touched the cloth of Thorin's shirt, but his husband held him as he cried. "I love you," he said again. "I will always love you. To the ends of the earth. No matter what."_

_"You promise?" Bilbo asked. It was childish to demand such a thing now, but he was vulnerable and weak and he felt childish for thinking such things anyway._

_"I promise that I will love you no matter what happens to either of us," Thorin said. "Will you promise me the same?"_

_"Of course," Bilbo sobbed. "Of course I promise. I love you, Thorin. Thank you."_

* * *

'He's going to love me no matter what. He promised that he's going to love me no matter what. He promised,' Bilbo repeated the mantra in his head as he slipped the key in the lock for Thorin's cell. He had gone for Thorin first despite wanting to save him for last for several reasons. For one, there was the fact that Thorin was the most heavily guarded and probably the hardest to get out, which meant he would take the most time and he couldn't risk the other dwarves just waiting around while they did it. Also there was only so much distracting Legolas could do. There's no way he would be able to distract the guards from the sight of 12 dwarves standing outside Thorin's cell.

And for two, he would much rather get this conversation over and done with without anyone their to witness it.

'He's going to love me no matter what. He promised.' He repeated again as the door swung open.

"Who goes there?" Thorin hissed, standing at the ready for battle.

"Shh!" Bilbo hissed. He had completely forgotten that he was wearing his nice magical ring and Thorin wouldn't have been able to see him. He quickly shoved the ring in his pocket. It's not like it would do him any good right now anyway with a whole company of dwarves following after him. "It's me. I've come to break you out."

"Halfling?" Thorin asked and Bilbo flinched despite the grin on his Intended's face for seeing him. Thorin hadn't called him that since they left the Shire. He knew how much of an insult Bilbo found it and yet he was choosing to use it anyway. His Soul Mate was intentionally pushing him away. He didn't love him after all.

"We've come up with a plan," Bilbo said, ignoring the pain in his heart. He wasn't even Rejected yet. This pain was nothing. "Follow me."

"I knew you would get us out," Thorin smiled proudly and patted Bilbo's shoulder as he brushed past him.

Bilbo couldn't help himself as he jerked away from the touch. He couldn't survive Rejection right now and he still needed to get his dwarves to safety. He could grieve his lost love and their broken promises later. Right now he had a job to do. It was time to buckle down and get to work no matter how much his heart hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm. I'm not sure I particularly like the way this chapter turned out. I just took a massive test and my brains kind of all scrambly and I feel like this chapter kind of shows that. I'm really sorry about that guys, but I hope you enjoyed it none the less and i'll try not to do it in the future.


	49. Escaping Mirkwood

Bilbo's throat felt dry as he lead his pack of dwarves down deeper into Thranduil's kingdom. It had been easy enough to get Thorin to his company and only slightly difficult to get them all to the room that had all their things, but getting them to their escape now seemed almost impossible. The dwarves were loud. Without their weapons their feet had stamped upon the ground and the echo of it had made Bilbo cringe. It wasn't that it was very loud, but he was well aware that elves had greater hearing than that of hobbit's and his was already improved upon the dwarves.

Now that they had their weapons it was magnificently worse. The moment Kili had taken his bow upon himself, he had declared that the elves wouldn't capture them this time so loudly that Bilbo had to shush him with a glare. "We are outnumbered," he said in a hiss, "and the elves are far better fighters than the goblins. If we are discovered, there is no way we'll escape."

"But you'll get us out again," Kili said confidently, though he did at least lower his voice.

"You think it'll be nearly as easy the second time?" Bilbo asked. "I was lucky enough to slip the elves the first time. There's no way they'll let me repeat it."

And Kili had calmed down at that. He and his brother had performed enough experience to know that repetition bread knowledge for both yourself and the other party. "We'll have to be very quiet and we'll have to hope that we don't run into any guards." Most of the guards were currently at the feast, but that didn't mean that they wouldn't sometimes break off to check on their captives and Bilbo had no way of knowing when that might happen. "That means no talking and be as light footed as possible."

To their credit, the dwarves were at least trying, but they were utterly failing. Their weapons clattered and clanged and echoed so terribly with the sound of their boots that Bilbo wondered how the elves hadn't come after them with an army. At least, it seemed, whatever Legolas was doing to distract whatever guards remained was working. Probably plying them with some sort of wine, Bilbo thought with a smirk. Legolas talked quite a lot about his father's wine and how it was the desire of everyone in the city. There was apparently no elf who would say no to a little bit of wine. Especially on a day such as this.

And when the wine was laced with certain herbs that Bilbo may or may not have suggested to set their minds a bit off their rocker, it would be the perfect thing to keep the dwarves escape safe. At least Bilbo hoped.

Bilbo coughed once and froze. They were descending the stairs into the wine cellar and this was the most dangerous spot. At least two elves were in the wine cellar at all times. Legolas had been plying the wine keeper and the keeper of the keys with wine for days and had spiked their drinks with something for sleep, but Bilbo didn't know how much immunity elves had to such things and if they would wake at any kind of provocation.

The rest of the dwarves froze behind him, but though one of the elves jerked his head up at the sound, he went immediately back to sleep. Bilbo sighed, feeling the need to cough again creep up on him. What a time for his throat to be bothering him.

"This way," he whispered, pointing to the barrels in front of them.

"Why have you lead us to the cellars?" Fili asked. They trusted him enough to question his plan, but that didn't mean that they could understand the reasoning. As a logic driven dwarf, Fili did not like being kept in the dark about plans.

* * *

_"Uncle Haran," Fili asked, his eyes wide. Kili was playing in the other room and Fili had left him only long enough to get them both something to drink until he got distracted by the bits of cloth that Bilbo was folding around a small wooden box. "What are you doing?"_

_"Well it's a surprise," Bilbo said._

_"Is it for Kili's birthday?" Fili asked, pulling himself up onto the chair next to Bilbo. He had only just recently grown big enough to climb up onto the chairs without needing some assistance and Dis had quickly learned to keep anything that he didn't want the kids to get their hands on up higher out of reach._

_Bilbo smiled, but did not nod. "It may be," he said instead._

_"Is it going to be a surprise party?" Fili asked. "Kili loves surprises."_

_"Indeed he does," Bilbo agreed._

_"Can I help?" Fili asked._

_"You can continue to keep your brother entertained until everything is set up."_

_"Entertained?" Fili asked._

_"Make sure your brother continues to have fun," Bilbo explained, "and keep him away from the kitchen."_

_"I can do that," Fili said determinedly. "What will you be doing?"_

_"Plenty of things," Bilbo replied. While it was true that Kili loved surprises, there was only so much that Fili could keep secret from his curious little brother. If it hadn't been for the fact that Kili loved surprises, Fili probably would have gone to tell him about the whole thing immediately._

_"But what?" Fili asked, never one to let a plan or prank go before it was completely planned out._

_Bilbo, however, had plenty of experience distracting the young little dwarf. "What did you need Fili?" he asked, changing the subject entirely. He knew that in the future Fili would learn to see through such tactics, but for now his young mind was easily sidetracked._

_"Oh yea!" Fili gasped, jumping down from his perch and shoving the chair he was using against a counter before climbing up again. Bilbo would offer to help him, but the water was in a small wooden basin that would not break when dropped and Fili truly was trying to learn to be independent for the sake of his brother. "Kili said he was thirsty. I promised I would be right back with a drink."_

_"You better hurry on back to him then," Bilbo said, grinning proudly as Fili jumped down with a cup full of water. They would of course share it as they always do so they didn't need another. Bilbo held out his hand and was promptly handed the cup as Fili pushed the chair back in place. He had made the mistake of leaving it at the counter when Dis had been more than a little stressed and now always made sure to push the chair back exactly where it went._

_"I'll make sure to keep him entertained," Fili said determinedly as he took back the cup and rushed back to his brother. Bilbo just chuckled as his young nephew spilled a little bit of the water with every step, but he made no move to clean it up. The floor was stone. The water wouldn't damage it and no one was going to be home any time soon to slip on it. Everyone else was out working on the surprise party to celebrate both of the boy's birthdays."_

* * *

"It's the only way out," Bilbo said. "Now all of you, climb into the barrels."

"We're going to be caught," Dwalin growled even as he helped Ori into a barrel. He hadn't been in the best of moods being in the small cell and was antsy because of it, so Bilbo didn't even try to give that a response.

"What are you planning?" Thorin asked, standing next to keep watch while everyone else climbed into their barrels.

"It'll be fine," Bilbo said. "Just trust me."

Thorin's eyes narrowed, but he too climbed into a barrel so that there were finally 13 dwarves in barrels. It reminded Bilbo somewhat of that game he used to play as a child called monkeys in a barrel and he had to choke back a laugh. He was never very good at that game.

"Now what?" asked Bofur, as Bilbo went around counting them just to make sure no one had been left behind.

Bilbo sighed. This was the part that he was looking forward to the least. Hobbits sink like rocks, after all, but there was no way that he could get into a barrel and pull the lever. At the very least he needed to make sure that he had as little weight on his person as possible so he slipped the his sheath and sword from his hip and slipped it into the barrel with Fili. "Hold this for me," he said and Fili nodded determinedly.

Bilbo sighed again as he stepped back towards the lever. The dwarves looked at him expectantly and he braced himself for one last moment. "Hold your breath," he said to them as much as himself as he set about pulling the heavy lever open.

Suddenly, arms came around him and lifted him straight into the air, much higher than all of the dwarves' heads. He had been caught.


	50. A Different Kind of Sickness

"Bilbo!" The dwarves yelled as they struggled to pull out weapons within the confines of the barrels they were stuck in. Bilbo would not make such noise. He was too busy struggling in the elf's hold. If he couldn't get free, he could at least make sure that he pulled the lever so the dwarves would escape. But the elf held him too high to get a good grip on the heavy lever.

"Sh!" the elf hissed.

"Legolas?" Bilbo whispered, immediately going limp. Legolas was supposed to be distracting the guard. What was he doing down here? "What are you doing?"

Legolas said nothing until he pushed Bilbo into an empty barrel. "Hobbits can't swim," Legolas said quietly. "You said so yourself plenty of times while you were under the influence of the forest."

"Oh," Bilbo said. It's not that he had forgotten that rather important fact, but he had felt it unnecessary to think on. If his dwarves were in danger than he would do whatever in his power to save them even if that mean that he could die.

"Now stop struggling," Legolas said to the dwarves who were still attempting to attack them, though they had blessedly stopped yelling so as not to attract attention. Then he turned to the lever and lifted it as though it weighed nothing. The sound of wooden gears sounded and the platform they were on turned. They were finally going to get out of Mirkwood.

But of course it just couldn't be that easy. The tumbling of the barrels was loud and jolting and the dwarves couldn't stay silent inside of them. Of course the guards were alerted and Legolas had to slip into the shadows before he was noticed. This was not going to end well, Bilbo could tell even as his head rammed into the barrel side and he lost consciousness.

* * *

The white room was just the same as it had been in Mirkwood and that concerned Bilbo more than it had the right to. He had thought that that had been an illusion brought on by the enchantments of Mirkwood. Not that he doubted the memory that Haran had shown him then, but he didn't think that he could come back here without the interference of illusions. Could he have hit his head harder than he thought.

"Well," he said to himself. "I suppose I should go and find Haran again. That was how I got out last time wasn't it."

He didn't have to look long, though. Just the thought of finding Haran had the glass wall appearing before him so suddenly that he almost ran right into it. It was convenient enough that Bilbo only glared at it for a moment, but his eyes widened as he did so. When before the glass had been clear with no blemishes, now it was cloudy and cracking. Whatever that meant, it couldn't be good.

Haran sat on the other side of the glass looking weary as he watched Bilbo with sad eyes.

"What's going on?" Bilbo asked, hoping that this time his other self would be able to hear him and tell him what was going on in his own mind. "What's happening?"

Haran only looked at him through the glass. He had bags under his eyes and Bilbo wondered why he felt so exhausted. Something wasn't right. Something really wasn't right. Haran shook his head again before standing with some difficulty and putting his hand to the glass, but Bilbo hesitated. The last time they tried to touch the abrupt change to a memory had been more than a little jolting. Yet that was how he had returned to his dwarves and that's what need to be done. So he reached out to the glass, and the crack happened so suddenly that he jerked back as a pain overcame his chest so great that he fell into blackness.

* * *

_Bilbo sat on his bed the morning after Thorin had denied him so cruelly in front of the market. He was done crying. He had had enough of mourning the love he would never receive from the dwarf. He should have given up long before now. Perhaps than Thorin would have at least let him keep his dignity with the people. He would not be able to show his face in front of any of the other dwarves now, but it mattered not._

_He coughed again. It was so deep that he felt himself choking on his own lung._

_Of course he had known this was going to come to him eventually. He had been battling back the coughs of this illness for some time, but now he just didn't have the heart for it anymore. Thorin would not love him. There was no point in trying anymore._

_But he would at least stay strong in front of his family. They deserved that at least. They deserved to not have to worry about him. They would find out eventually, but he wanted for his life to be normal for as long as possible._

_"Haran," his mother said at his door, "breakfast is on the table. Do you want to come and eat with us?"_

_Normally, there would be no question that all who were home at the time of the meal would eat together at the table, but by now all had probably heard of Bilbo's shame. Including his own family. And they pitied him._

_Bilbo sighed and stood. What a wretched life he was living now. Hiding away from the world as he waited for the Sleep to come. No. He was not that kind of dwarf. He may not have long left, but he would still fight to remain himself to the very end. "I'm coming," he said, but he swayed as he came upon the door as though the walk was the most difficult thing he had ever attempted. He gasped and doubled over as coughs overtook him again._

_"Are you okay sweetheart?" his mother asked._

_"I'm fine," Bilbo gasped. "Just a bit of a cough." He forced himself to stand straight and smile as he opened his door to the worried look of his mother._

_"Are you sure?" she asked. "You've had a cough for a while. Perhaps we should call for a healer after all."_

_"I'm fine Amad," he said. The last thing he wanted right now was for a stranger to come into his home. "It's just a cough," but that statement was ruined as she was forced to keep him steady when another overcame his whole body._

_When he recovered from it he only looked at his mother long enough to smile reassuringly at her and to see her eyes widen in concern before he headed to the table where his father and brother were trying their hardest to look like they hadn't heard everything._

* * *

Bilbo was jolted awake as the barrels came to a sudden stop, but his mind was still a little muddled from the knock to the head. He could hear battling and the sound of orcs before Kili used his barrel to jump over him. Were they captured? No, they wouldn't still be in their barrels if they had been. Then they were held up by something.

Bilbo popped his head up to see Thorin at the head of the pack struggling to open an iron grate that kept them from falling the flow of the river. Suddenly his chest constricted and he let out a cough so harsh that he could feel his throat tingling afterward.

Oh. Oh. Well that wasn't good at all. He never thought. He didn't think this would happen to him. They hadn't even touched yet. Surely his bond with Thorin wasn't strong enough that he would fall to the Sickness now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh we are finally leaving Mirkwood! I've been in Mirkwood for 16 chapters now and I honestly never meant to spend that much time there. Oh well, but now we're finally getting out.
> 
> Sorry it's a short chapter, but I'm supposed to be studying for a major test right now and this chapter would not leave my head alone to concentrate so I had to write it real fast.
> 
> Oh, also, I want to apologize to any Tauriel lovers, but she will not be in my story because I really don't like her. And it's not even because of her character. I like her character more than I like what they did with Legolas's character in the hobbit (which isn't really saying much because they pretty much ruined his character in my opinion). Anyway, I don't like her character because she was brought into the story for literally only 2 purposes: to create a love drama like the one between Aragorn, Arwen, and Eowyn (which didn't nearly compare and therefore was an utter failure in my opinion), and to egg on Legolas (which I did in another way) and there was no other role for me to cast her in.
> 
> Oops, sorry, didn't mean to rant. Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. ^_^


	51. Leap of Faith

“Kili!” Fili yelled, ripping Bilbo’s attention away from his Intended. Above them Kili was reaching for both the arrow lodged in his leg and the lever keeping them stuck here. Bilbo watched as the pain proved too much for his nephew and he fell to the ground.

No. No. Even if these were his last days, he would not let his boys be taken from him. He would not lose them!

Bilbo pulled himself up on his barrel, yanking Kili’s bow and arrows from where they were left in his barrel. It was a precarious perch, but Bilbo managed to strike down an orc as it aimed for his people. Not his boys. He wouldn’t let any of them die.

It was fortunate that his barrel was closest to land so Bilbo could leap from it without fear of falling into the water. As he did so, he notched another bow and let it loose on an orc heading towards him. The elves were keeping some of the orcs busy and more were still arriving, but the orcs still outnumbered them all. They were clearly after his dwarves, which meant the best way to end this all was to get his dwarves out of there. His best option was the same as Kili’s.

“Bilbo!” Fili yelled.

“I’ll get him,” Bilbo promised without looking at his elder nephew. He would not leave Kili behind.

Bilbo let loose arrow after arrow almost as quickly as the elves, but his muscles were no longer used to a bow. The first few flew to their intended targets as he backed up the stairs, but soon they began to fall short, only injuring his opponents. It was good enough, at least, so the elves could take them down with little trouble. Yet, still, Bilbo was well aware that he would not be able to keep this up.

Kili was still trying to reach for the lever when Bilbo reached him. “Uncle,” he whispered, gripping his leg in clear agony.

“We’re going to need to break the shaft,” Bilbo said, kneeling next to his nephew. He didn’t give Kili a chance to answer, though. Without warning, he gripped the leg tight as he snapped the shaft so only a small amount stuck out from the wound. Kili cried out and Bilbo allowed him a moment to regain himself, crouching next to him and letting loose still more arrows.

“I’ve never seen you actually use a bow before,” Kili said through gritted teeth.

Bilbo gave a wry smile. “I’m afraid I’m not as good as I was in my older days,” he said and Kili laughed. “Now, come. Let’s get you back into your barrel before your brother becomes too concerned for you.”

Kili nodded, inching over to the edge.

“This is going to hurt,” was the only warning Bilbo gave before shoving his nephew off the ledge. They didn’t have time for caution right now. The orcs were too close and more kept coming. Even the elves were having problems with their numbers.

“Bilbo!” Fili called again and Bilbo turned just in time to thrust an arrow into an orc’s eye. He couldn’t keep this up.

But the lever was right there and Bilbo jumped upon it, using all his weight to move it as soon as possible. He could hear the great metal clicking as the gate reopened and he watched for just long enough to see Thorin slip through. He didn’t have much time. He had to get back to his barrel before his lost his chance.

But when he turned, there were orcs on either side of him. The only weapons he had were the bow, which would do him no good in such close quarters, and Thorin’s knife. He didn’t want to dirty such an important thing, but as of now he had no choice. He strung Kili’s bow over his shoulder along with the arrows and tugged the knife from its sheath.

The orcs paused, looked down at the small knife, and laughed.

“Do not underestimate this knife,” Bilbo said. He could not risk attacking first without knowing his opponent’s but he did not have time to linger. “It will be all that I need to take the both of you down,” he said, trying to coax the orcs into movement.

It worked just as well as Bilbo had hoped and both orcs lunged at him. Bilbo ducked to the side, with a slash to one of their knees. A cry and one orc fell back onto his dwarves. “Now you,” he said to the last one, but the orc seemed more cautious now. He would not make the same mistake twice. Bilbo didn’t have time for this. It may be a risk, but now that there was just one, it was more of a risk to wait.

He lunged this time, faking a high attack only to duck under the orc’s parry and thrust the little dagger into its stomach. Thorin’s dagger was still sharp and it was no problem disemboweling the orc despite the dagger’s small size.

“Bilbo!” someone called, and Bilbo looked to his dwarves. All of the barrels had already slipped through the gate and were being carried down the river. Some of the dwarves were trying to grab hold of anything to keep them from moving until Bilbo was able to join them, but the current was too strong. Even when they did catch hold of something, they would lose it almost immediately when the orcs came upon them. Bilbo was losing his chance.

“There’s nothing for it,” he muttered to himself as he backed up as far as the ledge allowed. He would either make it or he would die trying. He was already dying anyway, so it’s not like it’s that much of a risk.

Bilbo ran to the gate ledge and leapt.

_Bilbo was not one for leaps of faith. He didn’t generally trust anyone after his childhood. In fact, the only ones that Bilbo had ever said that he had any trust for was his own family. Most thought that he had just as much trust for the other guards, but it was only because he hid his opinions very well._

_Despite his love for the dwarf, Thorin was no exception to his rule. After all the pain that his One had caused him, it was no easy thing to just suddenly trust the other even if they were meant to be. It had only been his own exhaustion that had allowed him to pull Thorin into his bed to sleep with him that first night after he woke. “Close your eyes,” Thorin said._

_“Why?” Bilbo asked, still laying in his sick bed. He had been allowed out of it very rarely and it was driving him stir crazy. His first complaint had of course been that he had gotten enough rest when he was Sleeping for a month, but Oin, Thorin’s healer, had been very determined when he said bed rest._

_Thorin flinched. He knew that Bilbo didn’t trust him. Of course he knew. Bilbo wasn’t exactly secretive of it and Thorin seemed to be finding every reason to find fault with himself from all of this. “I wish to braid a bead into your hair.” Bilbo raised a brow. “I made it for you.”_

_“And you don’t want me to see it until it’s in my hair?” Bilbo asked._

_“It won’t look nearly as well out of your hair,” Thorin said. His eyes were desperate and Bilbo feared that he might even say please._

_It wasn’t that Bilbo didn’t want to trust his Intended. Before he met Thorin, he had believed that it would immediately be just as though they were family. Bilbo knew now that there was no way that could have ever been possible. No one can just become lovers even if they are soulmates. They need to learn each other before they can trust each other so intimately._

_It would take time, Bilbo knew, but he also knew that they would eventually be able to trust each other more even than he trusted his own blood relatives. He wanted that more than anything. He didn’t want to wonder if Thorin would suddenly turn around and betray him again._

_But trust was a two way street and Bilbo needed to make attempts of his own if he wanted to pave the road between them. Bilbo closed his eyes._

_For a moment nothing happened and Bilbo’s grip on his sheets tightened. Did Thorin leave him? Was he judging his stupidity for doing as he was told? Bilbo wanted more than anything to open his eyes again, but then Thorin’s hand brushed his chin as a small amount of his hair was taken for a braid. It was warm and Bilbo smiled. It still surprised him how warm he felt whenever his One touched him. He wondered sometimes if it was because of the bond between them or if Thorin was just a warm dwarf. He had once heard when he was a child that those with warm hands have the biggest hearts. He would not have associated that with Thorin if it had not been for these last few days._

_“Your hair is so soft and beautiful,” Thorin said softly, plaiting the hair as gently as his rough hands would allow. “I would wish to braid your hair for all the days of my life.”_

_“You may have to,” Bilbo replied. “My hair does not like to stay put. My mother has often called it a menace.”_

_“All the days of my life,” Thorin said. “And I will make you many bead to keep your hair in place. So many that you shall have a small chest full of them. You will have to choose which you prefer to wear.”_

_Bilbo laughed. “That is a great many,” he said. “You know I don’t need all that.” He didn’t want Thorin to spend all of their lives trying to make up for the pain he had caused him as he was now. Thorin was a prince and Bilbo a mere guard’s son. He would be happy just to be by his side._

_“It is what you deserve,” Thorin said. “I will make you crowns as well. The consort of the king down not have a set crown that he must wear so I can make a variation of them.”_

_“I will have to get a display case made,” Bilbo said. If Thorin was going to push this than he would not deny him. To a dwarf, the making of things for someone was the most ardent sign of love there was. Besides, Bilbo didn’t even know that Thorin was a jeweler, which said a lot about how often Thorin actually got to practice the trade. If his Intended wanted to practice his trade and needed a reason to do so, then he was definitely not going to deny him that. “I will display all that you make me in our rooms.”_

_Thorin paused and Bilbo thought that he might have said something wrong before there was a click and he felt Thorin’s forehead rest on his shoulder. “Thank you,” Thorin whispered._

_Bilbo opened his eyes to see only his One’s hair. He smiled and rested his cheek on Thorin’s head as he ran a hand through the raven hair. Maybe this trusting thing wasn’t going to be as hard as he thought._

Bilbo didn’t jump far enough. He was not going to make it into any of the barrels. If he was lucky he would slam his head on one and then he would sink even faster, but that of course was not a desirable thing.

Bilbo only barely felt fingers curl around his arms before his whole body made contact with the water at once. Pain overtook him, but the hands did not let go. He was pulled from the water until he could see Nori gripping desperately onto him so he wasn’t swept away by the stream to drown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who wished me luck on my test! It made me feel a lot better about it.


	52. Can't Breathe

The trip down the river was probably the most terrifying thing that Bilbo had ever experienced. The rapids were strong and they were bounced off many sharp rocks that Bilbo was sure could crush him if he found himself between them. At one point Bombur was thrown into the air by the rapids and bounced off the land from one side to the other and somehow still managed to come out of it with only having lost the barrel that he had been in.

And that wasn't even mentioning the orcs that were attacking them. Most of the dwarves couldn't reach their weapons in the confines of their barrels and were forced to gather weapons from the orcs as they went along. Even Ori, who's sling shot was the only thing small enough to actually be pulled out, was having trouble finding ammo to use. Fili couldn't risk losing his throwing knives if they might not be able to gain more before facing the dragon. It was only a good thing that the orcs did not have such a good hold on their own weapons as dwarves did.

Then there were the elves who were fighting overhead. Even literally in Legolas's case. Bilbo wouldn't be surprised if Dwalin and Dori would have footprints on their heads for a little while afterwards.

Throughout all this the only thing that Bilbo could do was hold on for dear life. His hands were wet and they kept slipping from their grip on the barrel no matter how many splinters dug into his fingers and tried to keep him in place. At one point Nori had made the mistake of letting go of his arms to try to pull him by his shirt into a barrel, but Bilbo had almost immediately been lost and Nori only just barely caught him again.

Bilbo was sure now that his fear of heights was nothing compared to this adventure in the water. And it was in no way helped by the hobbity nature of sinking like rocks.

"Hold on!" Nori yelled over the rapids. "We're coming to the end."

Bilbo's back now was turn towards the direction they were heading and he didn't dare to try looking behind him. He had no problem taking Nori's word in this and he wasn't truly sure that he wanted to see what was behind him. He should have looked. Maybe then he would have been able to avoid it.

"Watch out!" someone yelled, but there wasn't enough time for Nori to turn the barrel as Bilbo's back was slammed against the flat edge of a rock. The current had at least calmed down enough that he was immediately crushed between the barrel and the rock, but it definitely knocked the wind out of him. Bilbo unconsciously tried to reach for his own chest. He couldn't breathe.

* * *

_As a hobbit Bilbo hadn't at first been afraid of heights. In fact, he was a very avid tree climber. His mother would sometimes call him her little squirrel. She never dissuaded him, of course, no matter how disapproving his father was to find his Sunday best destroyed yet again by a foray into the forests looking for elves. In fact, she actually encouraged him. "Nothing better than a little adventure to round out your day," she would say when his father was out of hearing range. It's not that she was trying to keep it a secret from him; she just knew that he was still not quite accustomed to her more adventurous way of living. Still, she did everything she could to encourage him just as she did with Bilbo._

_Her favorite of adventures was travelling into the nearby forests to have a picnic. His father was never one to say no to a picnic and he would put together many fine dishes without even asking where they were going. He would always grumble as he had to carry the rather large picnic basket longer and longer distances from their home, but he always smiled._

_It was on one of these particular picnics that Bilbo received his fear of heights._

_"Don't wander off too far," Bungo called as Bilbo jumped over the nearby roots._

_"I'm looking for elves," Bilbo whined. How could he find the elves if he was confined to staying near his parents? Surely the elves wouldn't come out for just anyone. Mother said they were a secretive people. She said that they lived in this place called Rivendell, which was somewhat nearby, and that it was hidden to all but the few they trusted. Bilbo wanted to find Rivendell just like his mother did before he was born, but he was sure that he was going to have to find an elf before they would show him the way._

_"Well you won't find them here," said Belladonna. "Elves live in the tree tops."_

_"Then I'll climb the trees!" Bilbo said, racing to the thinnest one so he could actually get his arms around it._

_"Now wait just a minute!" Bungo said, worried for his son._

_"Why don't you come and have your lunch first," Belladonna said. "I think your father made have made some blueberry muffins."_

_"I love blueberry muffins!" Bilbo grinned, bouncing over to finally sit beside his parents. His mother was in a nice flowing dress with a woven sun hat and his father had one of his nicer vests with a thin jacket to keep his skin shielded from the warm sun of the summer._

_"I'm sure he made them just for you then," Belladonna laughed although it wasn't entirely true. Bilbo shared his love for that particular baked good with his mother and his father would do anything in his power to make the two of them happy._

* * *

_Once Bilbo had had his fill of blueberry muffins and a great many other baked goods that his father had supplied, he slipped away from his parents while they were making googoo eyes at each other. They were likely to start kissing if it went on for much longer and there was no fun in watching his parents kiss._

_There was a particularly perfect tree just a little out of his parent's sight that he had seen when they were on their way to this perfect spot. Surely there would be elves living at the top of such an easy to climb tree. They wouldn't be able to live at the top of trees that they couldn't climb after all. They would never be able to get home if they did._

_Bilbo was careful, of course. At least he was at first. Bilbo was always sure to be careful when climbing trees. Even his mother had sometimes told him stories about little children who weren't careful and fell out of the trees to their deaths. He checked each branch before settling his weight on it and each one was thick and held his way as though it was nothing. But as he climbed higher and higher he came to a certain realization. The elves wouldn't be able to live at the tree tops if the branches weren't strong enough. And as he climbed higher and higher, he lost his care. it was only matter of time before the tree would fail him._

_"Bilbo!" he heard his mother call. She didn't sound concerned as his father no doubt was. She still said that Bilbo had quite a lot of her Tookish blood and Tooks could always find their way out of every trouble. "It's time to come back. Your father is packing up the basket and we'll be heading home soon. We don't want to be out this far when it gets dark."_

_It was the moment that Bilbo looked away from his hold to respond that it all went bad. The branched beneath him cracked under his shifted weight and fell away from him as his grip on the branch above him failed and he fell. His back slammed against branch after branch and Bilbo couldn't even scream because he had already lost all air left in his lungs. By the time he reached the ground, Bilbo couldn't even think well enough to believe that he was going to die from the fall._

_"Bilbo!" Belladonna gasped. She had been looking for her son and had seen him fall._

_Bilbo gasped and clawed at his chest, his eyes unseeing for many moments. And then, when his breath returned to him Bilbo wailed._

_"Oh my dear boy," Belladonna sighed as she pulled Bilbo into her arms. He was still small enough that she could lift him into her arms and hold him against her breast as she did so now._

_"I just wanted to find the elves!" Bilbo cried between gasping breaths._

_"I know sweetheart," Belladonna said as Bungo came crashing through the bushes without his basket in hand. He had heard the cries and though he knew that his wife would surely be able to handle it, he had also heard all the noise of Bilbo's fall and was worried for his son's safety._

_"Now that's the danger of adventuring," Bungo said, putting his arms on his hips as he always did to show his disapprovement. Now that his father knew that he was not terribly injured, he had no qualms in telling him off for doing something he wasn't supposed to. "I told you not to climb the trees."_

_"I'm sorry," Bilbo cried. "I'll never do it again." An easy promise to make as a young one just injures, but it was unlikely that he would keep it and both his parents were well aware of it._

_"Now I didn't say that," Bungo said. "Nothing better than a little bit of adventure to round out your day," and he tapped his noise conspiratorially. "You just have to be more careful. We Bagginses are very well thought of and I won't have anyone thinking us bad at adventuring."_

_Belladonna grinned and Bilbo sniffled. It would still be some time before he would stop crying and he would be confined to his bed for several days just to make sure that there was no lasting damage, but he would be out adventuring again soon enough. This time, though, he would look for the elves on the forest floor._

* * *

"Don't let go!" Nori said, gripping Bilbo with white knuckles. "Don't let go!"

And then suddenly the river let up and the current slowed as Bilbo tried desperately to regain his breath. They had made it to the end and there were no orcs behind them. Ahead he could hear Thorin saying something about making their way to land even as Bilbo gasped. They had made it out of danger and they would soon also make it away from this horrid water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, yes I am rewatching the hobbit and yes, yes I did just watch the second one today, and yes, yes that is the reason for two chapters in a row. Lol. Anyway, my sister told me she was watching the hobbit the other day and I realized that I hadn't watched it in a while so I thought I would rewatch and then I thought that was the perfect time to work on this story. So you can blame my sister for all of this.
> 
> So anyway, HobbitBraids requested that I write a happy memory with Bilbo's hobbit family and I kind of accidentally ran away with it. Oops. Oh well. I hope you like this chapter as well.


	53. Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Vita and StarOfTime for pointing out my mistake with the spelling of Athelas. I'm really sorry for the error and have fixed it now.

It was a struggle to get out of the water. Although there was no current in the deeper waters, there was still enough that Ori kept getting pulled under even with Dwalin doing his very best to tug him to shore. It was even worse for Bilbo. If he somehow lost his footing and was swept away like Ori was, there would be no getting him back again. Luckily, Bofur was quick to come to their aid and both him and Nori took each of Bilbo's arms and pulled him to shore where he collapsed and choked up all the water he had swallowed on this adventure.

"Are you okay Bilbo?" Bofur asked.

"I'm fine," Bilbo coughed. "You and Nori can go spend some time together." They didn't need convincing, of course. The dwarves had all been held in separate cells and those with mates were surely missing each other's company. Especially Dwalin and Ori who had barely left each other's sight since they discovered their bond. It had taken Dori some time to get used to of course, but Nori had taken it rather well. Even though Dwalin had arrested him on more than one occasion for his thievery, Nori knew Dwalin well and they had worked easily together when they were guarding the princes. He was well aware of Dwalin's skill and he was not one to baby his little brother so he had no qualms against supporting their match.

Then there were Fili and Kili who hardly ever left each other's side from the moment the younger was born. To be separated for so long without being able to see each other must have been a strain on the both of them. And then to have Kili injured the so soon after they got free again.

Speaking of the boys, Bilbo stood quickly, looking for his nephews. They would need to move soon if they wanted to stay ahead of the orcs, which meant that they needed to bind Kili's leg as soon as possible. Of course, Oin would already be on it, but Bilbo had some ability with first aid and he wanted to make sure that his nephew was okay.

He first caught sight of Kili who was gritting his teeth and baring through the pain as Oin ripped what remained of the arrow from his leg. Then his eye caught Fili's.

The wide desperate eyes of his eldest nephew made Bilbo's spine straighten. This was no mere injury. There was something more to this.

"Uncle," Fili whined as Bilbo hadn't heard him do since he was a child.

* * *

_"Uncle," Fili whined and Bilbo was crouching before him in an instant. The boy's eyes were wide and frantically searching the house around them even as he sat gripping his younger brother in his arms. "Uncle something's wrong. Kili's in trouble." The younger of his nephews had been feeling ill earlier that morning, but Bilbo a cold was going around and Bilbo had thought nothing of letting the two of them have some light play in their room. There was even a conveniently placed chair within the room that allowed Bilbo to sit with them while their mother and Thorin were away just in case he was needed. It was his own shame that he got so sidetracked in the new book that Thorin had brought him from the town's of men that he didn't notice when Kili suddenly collapsed._

_Bilbo felt Kili's forehead to find it burning up. It was slightly concerning, but nothing truly horrible. Nothing life threatening at the very least. "Don't worry Fili," he said. "Your brother is just tired. We'll get him to bed and he'll be better in no time."_

_"No!" Fili yelled. "You don't understand. It's just like that one time!"_

_That one time confused Bilbo for a moment before suddenly he realized what Fili was talking about. Fili's eyes were just like they had been when Kili was almost lost to the Sickness._

_"Give him to me," Bilbo said, taking Kili before Fili had the chance to try to curl more protectively around him. He laid him out on the bed and only now could he see how truly pale his younger nephew was. "Tell me Fili, did your brother hurt himself before he got sick. Did he eat something weird? Did you guys go somewhere odd?"_

_"I promised not to tell," Fili said._

_"Your brother's life is in danger," Bilbo hissed before he calmed himself. It wouldn't do either of them any good for him to get frantic. "Whatever secrets you have, they aren't not worth his life."_

_"Some of the older dwarves showed us this place that they go to in the forest," Fili answered immediately. There was nothing more important to him than his brother's life after all. "They dared us to do things. We said we wouldn't, but they said that we were cowards and the line of Durin can't be cowards. They dared Kili to eat something. I don't know what it was."_

_"Do you remember what it looked like?" Bilbo asked. There would be plenty of time to reprimand them both later when Kili was better. He would make sure to instill in them the knowledge that being smart enough to deny foolishness did not make one a coward no matter what the children said. For now they had bigger things to worry about._

_"It was a grey mushroom," Fili said, "but it didn't look like the ones that amad puts in the soup. It was bigger. It was so big that Kili couldn't even finish it. He said it didn't taste good. I should have told him not to eat it I should have taken it from him and eaten it myself." Now Fili was ardently crying. The first time that he had almost lost his brother hadn't been his fault and neither was this time, but as a brother and as a soul mate he would surely think otherwise. He had undoubtedly made some sort of promise to himself and likely to his brother as well that he would always protect him and this was the first of probably many times that he would fail. They were dwarves, after all; they lived dangerous lives and Kili was an unruly child. No matter how hard Fili worked, he would never be able to protect Kili from everything without smothering him. Bilbo would have to make his older nephew understand that as well. Later. When the younger was not in danger._

_"Nevermind that," he said. "I need you to run and get Oin. You remember where he lives right?"_

_"No!" Fili gasped. "I can't leave Kili!"_

_"You have to if you want to save him," Bilbo said sternly. He would go himself, but he wanted to stay behind and see if he could at least figure out something more to help Oin when he returned. He didn't have many skills in first aid, but he did at least know enough about the poisons of the forest that he might be able to discover what Kili ate by his symptoms. Besides, if Fili went, he could fill Oin in on the way back and that would save them all time. "Now go!"_

* * *

Bilbo rushed over to crouch next to his nephew. "Wait," he said to Oin, blocking him from binding Kili's leg. If there had been poison on that arrow, the last thing that they wanted to do was hold it in place. To Kili he said, "Let me see it."

"What's wrong with him?" Fili asked worriedly. He could feel that there was something wrong with his brother, but not even their bond was strong enough to know exactly what. Though, the culprit was rather clear as Bilbo's eyes landed on the arrow.

"A morgul shaft!" he gasped. He had only seen something similar once when he was the child following after Arathorn, but the blade was distinctive enough that he could still recognize it upon sight.

"What does that mean?" Thorin asked. He had come to Fili after hearing his nephew call for his Uncle, thinking it was him, and stood behind them without Bilbo even noticing.

"We need to get him some Athelas immediately," Bilbo said, gritting his teeth. Athelas wouldn't grow in the rocky shore that they were standing on and he couldn't risk going into the forest on a blind hunt for some. "Oin, please tell me you have some."

"Sorry laddie," Oin shook his head even as he concentrated on binding Kili's leg. At this point it was more detrimental to his nephew to let the wound bleed out then it was to keep the poison in.

"The town of men might have some," Bilbo said, standing to face Thorin so Fili could worry over his brother without either of his uncles getting between them. "We have to go to Laketown."

"And how exactly do you propose we get there?" Thorin growled. He was obviously not against the idea, but he did bring up a good point. They were very obviously without transportation and it would surely take great luck from them to run into one of the humans. And he was not feeling very lucky right now.

"Oi!" Dwalin yelled and there was almost immediately a thunk of an arrow bouncing off the steel of one of his axes.

"Do it again and your dead." And there stood a human. Perhaps his luck was changing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And of course we couldn't leave out the third Hobbit. It just wouldn't be right after all.


	54. Children Alone

Before any of his dwarves could talk, Bilbo jumped in. He couldn't take the chance that they would say something stupid and ruin Kili's chance at the only aid they may ever be able to get with their gruff nature. Besides, Bilbo was probably the most trustworthy looking of the whole group. "Please help us."

The man jumped and shifted his bow to Bilbo before he could advance and cause any sort of threat.

"Please," he said again gesturing to Kili even as he shifted in front of me to keep him from danger. "He's been pierced by a poison arrow. We need medicine and shelter from those who would wish us harm."

"And why should I help you?" the man asked, though at least he lowered his bow.

"We can pay, I assure you," Bilbo said. "Surely you could use the money."

"And bring whoever hunts you to my door?" the man said. "I know where these barrels came from. The Master would see you in irons before he'd left any enemy of Thranduil into his lands."

"Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil, gave us his blessing," Bilbo said. "Besides, what elf do you know who would use such treasonous trickery as poison on their arrows. Their aim is such that they wouldn't need such things to kill their enemies and yet here we stand with only one injury that will only cause death if you do nothing."

"We do not do business with Legolas Greenleaf," said the man. "It is with his father that the Master has an understanding."

"We wouldn't stay long," Bilbo said. "No more than a night. We would cause you no trouble at all and will be out of your hair on the morrow." He may sound a little desperate at this point, but there was no time to waste. Kili needed help soon if he was going to survive this.

"And you would leave me to take care of any who follow you. I will not put my children in such danger."

"Children?" That made Bilbo pause. As much as he wanted to save his own nephew, he was both a hobbit and a dwarf and neither would ever dare to put a children's life in danger. Perhaps they could find another way after all. Maybe, if they made their way to the greener areas around the lake, they would be able to find some Etholas growing there. He did not want to cause more children to be without family as he was.

* * *

_It had been a full on month since Bilbo's parents had died. Arathorn had left the week before and Bilbo was alone. He had woken on more than one occasion and searched for his mother only to remember that he was utterly alone. Of course, the other hobbits did their best to take care of him, but he refused to leave his home to live with any of them and they could not leave their families to live with him. Most of the hobbits believed that the reason he stayed is because he still thought his parents would return, but Bilbo was not stupid. He may be young, but Arathorn had clearly explained what had happened to his parents. They would not be coming back and it was only the magic of early mornings that ever made him think that they would._

_On this particular morning, Bilbo woke and for once did not immediately go to his mother's room to ask for breakfast. This time he passed by the room and went straight to the kitchen. "I need to start learning to take care of myself," Bilbo said. "Don't want to be an inconvenience to others for long." Honestly, Bilbo didn't know exactly what that word meant, but his father had used it often enough that he got the gist of it and was pretty sure he used it correctly in the sentence._

_"Mama keeps the recipes on the counter," Bilbo said to himself if only to make the silence less. He had started upon Arathorn's departure and decided that it made him feel a lot less lonely to continue._

_Bilbo pulled a stool to the counter and reached for the cookbook that contained his favorite breakfast foods. His mother kept everything within his reach from the moment she started teaching him how to cook and he was glad that hobbit's always started learning how to cook at an early age. He still didn't know much, of course, but his daddy had started teaching him how to scramble eggs to give his mommy in bed. Everything else he was sure that he could learn from the cookbook._

_Using the oven, however, was a little more difficult than he was expecting. He couldn't figure out how to light the fire in the oven no matter how much wood he put on the stove. He had watched the others do it enough times that he was sure that he could do it on his own, but it just wasn't lighting._

_"Sometimes," Bilbo remembered the master hobbit from down the lane had once said when they were lighting a fire outside for a party after the rain had gotten everything wet, "you just need a little bit of oil to set it alight."_

_Belladonna Baggins kept her oil under the sink and far away from the stove, but Bilbo had seen it come out every once in a while when she was cooking something particular. She must have used it for the same reason as the hobbit from down the lane, Bilbo realized, but he didn't know exactly how much to use. If he put too little, then it wouldn't light and he wouldn't be fed. He decided it was better to put in more rather than less and upended the whole bottle. Then he threw the match in and the fire suddenly came alive, but it was much bigger than Bilbo had expected it to be. It had never been this big when his mother was cooking nor had it been this big when his father started it in the mornings._

_Bilbo reeled back and away from the fire, screaming as it climbed._

_"My goodness!" the gaffer yelled from the door as he came rushing in. He quickly pulled Bilbo out of harm's way before putting the lid on the stove. Then he turned to Bilbo, completely ready to give the young hobbit a good talking to, but his words died in his throat. Bilbo was neither crying nor screaming. He was just standing frozen, watching the smoke escape from the stove._

* * *

There was no way of knowing if the human's would be as kind if this man died. Bilbo had often heard that the world of men was a harsh place. He couldn't let this human's children go through the same things he had.

But could they truly risk any delays.

"How many beards?" Balin asked.

"A boy and two girls," said the man.

"And your wife," Balin said, "she must be a beauty."

"Aye," said Bard, "she was."

Bilbo flinched. They couldn't ask this human to risk his family for them. And yet, looking down at his nephew who could barely sit up on his own, they had no choice.

"Enough with the niceities," Dwalin growl as Balin apologized.

"What's your hurry?" asked the man.

"If we do not get him aid soon," Bilbo cut in again, "he will die. Please."

"I'll wager there are ways that we can get into your town unseen," Balin said with a mischevious raise of his brow.

"Aye," said the man with a smirk, "but for that you would need a smuggler."

"For which we would pay," Balin said. "Double."

The man hesitated, but his mind was made up when he looked once more at Kili. "Very well. I will take you across the water."

"Thank you," Bilbo sighed as the other dwarves cheered. He was clearly the only one with manners enough to say please and thank you to the human who was clearly risking much for them.


	55. Of Hobbits and Sickness

"Thank you," Bilbo said again as the dwarves piled into the human's large boat, each with a barrel in hand.

"There's no need to thank me," the man said, "just as long as you pay me."

"We will," Bilbo said, but he was absolutely sure that this human didn't care as much about the money as he said. Sure he wanted to take care of the children and the extra cash would help him to do so, but he also kept looking concernedly at Kili and that spoke volumes. "My name is Bilbo-" he began to say, but he was cut off as a harsh cough overtook him. It was made even worse as Bilbo tried to suppress all signs of it. There was no need for the dwarves to be concerned for him when Kili was so close to danger.

"Are you alright?" the man asked and he wasn't the only one concerned. Several of his dwarves were staring wide eyed at him.

"I'm fine," Bilbo said loud enough for his dwarves to hear, though there was a rasp to his throat that he was sure would not go away so easily. "I'm just soaked and cold and I'm sure that's not going to be good for my health. As I was saying, my name is Bilbo Baggins, at your service."

"Bard," said the man with a suspicious raise of his brow.

"I assure you," Bilbo said. "I'm fine. There's no need to worry about me, but we should probably hurry for Kili's sake." Again, this was said loud enough that his dwarves could hear so that they would be spurred into movement. Bard nodded and untied his boat to cast off as the dwarves settled to sit as far away from him as possible.

"They're an untrusting lot," Bard said, nodding towards Bilbo's dwarves.

"Would you be more trusting if you were far away from home and a family member was ill?" Bilbo asked with a raised brow

"No," Bard said immediately. "You will though it would seem."

"No," Bilbo shook his head. "I'm only a hobbit. I may be far from my home, but I don't belong amongst them."

"And yet you travel with them," Bard said. "Why?"

"That is my own business," Bilbo sighed, suppressing another cough that was tingling at the back of his throat. Why was the Sickness coming on so fast this time around? He was sure that it hadn't been this fast last time this had happened. But then again he had been in a dwarf body last time and this time he was in a hobbit body. He had heard only once that hobbits don't survive the Rejection or Sickness so well as the others do.

* * *

_Bilbo sat on his bench outside in the garden with pipe in hand as he watched the hobbits go up and down the lane to his smial. It wasn't a particularly exciting pass-time and he was quickly getting bored, but he had resolved ever since his coming of age that he would become a true Baggins of Bag End. His father also used to sit outside and smoke in the midafternoon light._

_Not to mention his arm was really paining him and the dwarves in the dining hall behind him were particularly noisy today. He would much prefer to be somewhere quiet reading his favorite books. At least the hobbits had been kind enough to agree to trade with them, which took some of the stress off his shoulders and finally allowed him to relax._

_And here came Hamfast up the hill with some of his groceries for him. Hamfast was really only his gardener, but ever since the death of Bilbo's parents he had also been fetching anything Bilbo needed from the market whenever he needed it. He was honestly old enough to go himself, but ever since the fire had attacked, he found himself not particularly liking large crowds without the comfort of his husband near at hand. They were always too loud and gave him headaches that throbbed along with his scars._

_"Good morning mister Bilbo," said Hamfast._

_"It is indeed," said Bilbo. "Though Balin has told me he thinks it might rain later. He's always calling for rain. How are you today Miss Belladonna."_

_"No need to worry about me," said Hamfast. "There's more important news from the market today. Did you hear? One of the Tooks got rejected again."_

_"Rejected?" Bilbo asked._

_Belladonna nodded her head, though there was a sad look in her eye. "That's right. My poor little brother. He always said that he was going to travel the world when he came of age too. Now he's not going to have the time."_

_"It was one of the Tooks again," Hamfast said. "They just aren't a lucky family in that regard. Everyone says they don't want to be bound to the strange Tooks."_

_"It's not uncommon for my family," said Belladonna. "I was lucky that my Bungo accepted me, you know. As soon as people found out that he was my intended, no one could understand how I wasn't Rejected. Even I was a little surprised by it, though I would have turned him around eventually. I'm not going down without a fight and you can be darn sure that I'm not letting my little brother go down without a fight either."_

_"You speak as though there's no chance of him surviving," Bilbo said. "Is the bond that close that you expect him to fall to Sickness?"_

_"Oh, that's right," said Belladonna, "you're a dwarf so you wouldn't know."_

_"Of course, Mr. Bilbo," said Hamfast. "I keep forgettin how young you are."_

_"We hobbits love deeply, so we always fall to the Sickness after Rejection and we don't last long after it." Hamfast and Belladonna said at the same time._

_"The most we can hope for is about a month." Belladonna continued._

_"But you don't care about that sort of thing," said Hamfast. "There was some lovely fresh baked pies being sold in the market so I took the liberty of buying you one. I hope you don't mind."_

* * *

Bilbo shook his head to rid himself of the memories. Never before had he had the memories of both lives meld in such a confusing way and the fact that it was happening now really couldn't be good. He coughed and resisted grabbing at his chest as it twinged slightly. Why did all of this have to happen now. They were so close to the mountain. He only had to last a few more days, but everything seemed to be crashing down on him all at once and he had no clue what to think of it.

"Mr. Baggins?" Bard asked.

"I'm sorry," Bilbo said. "Did you say something? I was lost in my own thoughts."

"I didn't," Bard said, "but your friends have been staring at us for some time. I don't think they like you spending so much time with me."

"You're probably right," Bilbo said with a sigh. "I'm sorry and thank you again for helping us get to the village."


End file.
